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| Here for chat and discussion only. No longer looking for anything outside of friendship.
I have roughly 15 years of experience in the lifestyle, so you won't be dealing with a newbie here, and very little scares me away.
I can also be found on under the name "Joel1980" on .
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This is actually a late journal entry, but as of May 1st, 2013, I have moved back home to the great state of Ohio to be nearer to my family, and closest friends. Kansas for the past seven years was very good to me, but I missed too many people that are important to me to stay away from where I was born and raised. |
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I have noticed more often, than not, there are Pro Dommes, and Fin Dommes looking at my profile.
Please note, that despite the fact I am not looking for a Pro Domme, or Fin Domme, occassionally, a Pro or Fin might want a lifestyle sub/slave.
Even if You define Yourselves as a Pro Domme, or Fin Domme, but might be interested in a lifestyle sub/slave, please message me if You think I might be worthwhile for You.
Thank You All kindly for You Time. |
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New profile primary pic taken today. Felt it was time to update after my appointment with my hair stylist. Just sayin'. |
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Made a very kind young lady very happy yesterday. No, She isn't my Domme, or anybody elses. She isn't even into D/s or BDSM. She is just a little Lady that has been a close friend of mine for nearly twenty years, and I wanted to give Her a little "Girl Power" back if I could. She has been down on Her luck for what seems like the past six months, but hopefully things get better for Her very soon. She desperately need to smile, so I mailed Her a $100.00, a very nice Lady's Wallet that when She seen it, She really seemed to love, and a small, sentimental gift that is between me and Her.
Another friead of mine, well, he's male. He is lazy as fuck. He has his girlfriend who is suffering with pain from a ruptured cist in Her overies. She says She will get better. She is tough, so she probably will, but the guy who is my "friend", doesn't even have a job. Me and his girlfriend have become mutual friends, as well, and Her job has cut Her back to 16 hours a week, and they have two kids together. On Monday, to help ease a little stress for Her. I probably will never meet her face-to-face though. I live 5 US States away from them. She also needs a bit of Girl Power and a smile. On Monday, will be sending Her $100.00, as well, and She also needs a reason to smile for at least a few minutes. Hopefully, I can help.
Told them both, I never want the money back, I never need the money back. I only needed to know it will make thier day be at least a little happier. This has been a very productive weekend based on those two things. I feel good, and people feel good about me. |
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Seriously considering looking into chastity enslavement. The no BS kind where a Domme would mail me a lock from Her own collection, with no key in sight. not even for an emergency case, and then staying put until whenever She might feel like having mercy on me. Yes, I have worn chastity devices before on a semi-long-term basis, and I do know how to cope, even in the hard times (no pun intended).
Hopinging to attempt to prove my seriousness as a submissive in a FML. If Someone chooses they want a new chastity slave, I am hoping for the real deal. Guarenteed no release of lock-up for 90 days. After that, She would "consider" my release, when, and if, She wanted to show me mercy. No definded time set on how long I would actually be locked. I hope for at least 90 days though. Seems to me to be pleanty enough time to show no BS on my end.
Even though my profile says I am not looking for FinDommes in any way, I am aware nothing is free. I am willing to compensate for this activity if two limits can be respected.
1) "Not looking to pay an arm and a leg." $50.00 a month seems right to me.
2) You would need to be definately serious about having a lifestyle, D/s, 24/7 relationship in real time, not just on-line.
I have my own CB6000, and the KDS-G3 wedges. Any takers? |
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Maybe I wasn't specific enough in my profile, so I will re-word it here in my journal.
I also will not join sites that require a credit or debit card. Eventually, I will still be paying.
I want a D/s relationship, not someone looking to get money, and yeah, this does include giving money to porn/fetish sites.
If You aren't willing to have a D/s RELATIONSHIP, go away. If I search/message You on Your Profile, and You will be looking for this, please...... either don't repond, tell me "no thanks", or block me. Your choice, but I am not going to give random money to people I don't know in person first.
(and no, I don't care if You tell me that for "such-and-such" a time, it is free)
Sorry for those of You this might offend. |
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Why is it that I see all of these Dommes that request intellectual conversasions, and intellectual fun, but when I ask what they thought of what they might have seen on the Fox News Network, or CNBC, they seem fuckiing clueless, or when they ask for an intellectual game, I offer to play chess or dominoes with them, and then they don't play?
Really.... some Dommes ask for inteligent, and intellectual, but when I hit them with real intellectual, they go AWOL?????
What the hell?????????????????????????? |
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Why is it that everytime I watch the John Stewart Show, I have a near overwhelming need to go watch the Fox News Network, and after I watch Steven Colbert, I wanna go watch CNBC? |
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Tomorrow...My one day off every week. Sucks that it's on a Tuesday. Getting Pizza and a twelve pack now. BBS. Anybody wanna entertain me, or let me entertain them?
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Single again, and if you use the forums, you probably already knew that.
To the real point of this though...Why do gay male dominants keep viewing me?
Number one, they don't say anything to me, and number two, I only loosely associate myself as being bisexual. I don't like men...At all. Usually even outside of BDSM, however, I still like cock.
Please, if you are male, the answers to all of your questions will most likely be no. The only exception would be TVT's/TS's, and only if they are VERY VERY passable.
Otherwise, I'm a ladies man. I plan on keeping it that way. |
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10 inches long. Rounghly 4 inches in diameter... Very big, and above average, but still not an unrealistic size for a cock. It's been over three months since I've had anything up my ass pounding me, and nearly two years since I have had my asshole pounded regularly... Yesterday, after letting my owner know I found a really good fit for my chastity device, I jokingly told her that now, if I go thinking about my dick too much, she really would know it, and she could just flip me over and remind me the only dick I should be thinking about is her "big black dick"... She doesn't think with it being so long since my last ass pounding that it would fit, even with lube, however, she still seemed to enjoy the ideal of at least trying to impale me with it. My only day off work in a week is on Tuesday's, and the kid will be in school. I'm seriously tempted to actually request her to restrain me, just to remind me how punishing a 10"x4" cock in a rarely used asshole can be (I'm convinced that it will make me beg for mercy, but it will still fit with a proper amount of lube). |
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It keeps biting me, and I both love it, and hate it... The "it" being the teeth/points now installed in my chastity device... I have found the best fit for me with The Curve chastity device yet. Yes, I can still pull out the back, however, it is now completely impossible to put myself back in it correctly with the teeth locked into place, so if I go thinking about my dick too much, I get bit. If I ever think about my dick to a point where I decide to slip out the back, my owner thinks that with even longer teeth in place, I wouldn't be able to even pull out, and I would really rather not find out what either of the two longer sets of teeth might do. Even the shortest set bite pretty hard. The nocturnal erections wake me up two or three time a night... Being bit by the teeth when I get hard is hell, but I absolutely LOVE the tease and denial of my orgasms. On a small side note, the chastity lock on the device has three keys... Two of which are in my owners purse. The third key is with me. I can hold it, and touch it whenever I want, but I'll never be able to unlock myself with it. The third key is locked onto the lock that locks my chastity device into place. The key jusr hangs there, making me sound like a jingle bell when I walk. It taunts the hell out of me. |
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WAAAAY off my usual topic of discussion, but if there are any Pokemon players/battlers out there, feel free to message me. I'm off to do some Triple battles on my White version. (currently posting from my 3DS) |
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I was sooooo horny this morning, and still am... and there's nothing I'm allowed to do about it. |
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Woke up once per hour last night with brutal pain from nocturnal erections in my chastity device. I really need to figure out some serious way to control them if I am to continue being blessed with the gift of long-term orgasm denial from my Domme. I believe I have things adjusted correctly in The Curve now to have a mostly peaceful nights sleep, but still have no access without tampering being evident. Maybe I can get through a good session of being on my knees, pleasing my Domme now without having to beg for mercy due to the chastity device. |
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I love you, MIP. You were amazing last night.
You are still amazing everyday, but you definately went above, and beyond what you have ever allowed me to do before and I hope to be allowed that much enjoyment again someday with you.
Thank you. xoxoxoxoxoxox |
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Soooooo tired. Re-fitted my device yesterday after cleaning and shaving, and snugged it back up to it's tightest hole... Snug and secure, and feeling just fine all day yesterday, and all day today..., But last night, the Anaconda-like vice grip it had on my nocturnal erection woke me twice. I sooooooo need a nap. |
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Still in chastity training...But my owner knows this is more my kink than her's...I thank and love her for letting me have this...... My owner is also a true sadist... And we have had talks about upgrading to steel... When she decides it's time for the upgrade, I hope she allows me to try and please her sadistic side, and she goes for the Kali's Teeth Bracelet....... I love you, MIP. |
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I came home from work, and she's looking nothing short of phenomenal... Hair done just right, make-up on with eyelashes in place to make her eyes beautiful, while making every look she gives me a little intimidating... form-fitting clothes that completely cover her from her sholders down, yet still show off her perfect tits... All after yet another night of multiple orgasms for her, and none for me. And last night she truly had me believing I was going to be able to earn a little something... I just didn't know until after the fact all I earned was another set of "red wings", and more achey blue balls... Here I thought my day at work had me all calmed down, and then the very sight of her made my achey blue balls wake right back up. I love my sadistic Domme, and the chastity training she is giving me. |
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I think my chastity just might have me being too horney... All the time. I consider myself as being straight, but I told my Domme this morning I'd be willing to do whatever with another man for at least a little sexual pleasure, even if I was only on "the receiving" end of things.......... |
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My Domme took me to a whole new world last night. After her having me suck on her tits for around half an hour last night, with mild versions of breath playing during the act, she let me go down on her. While making love to her pussy, she first gave my cock and balls a firm rub down through my panties, then, she gave me a slow jack, and a ball rub after lowering my panties a little. Every now and then, right as I was getting all relaxed, she would give my swolen, tender testicles a little love tap. She let me get to very near climax more times than I can remember, but would squeeze my cock every time she knew I was close so she could stop me from achieving orgasm. Eventually she did let me get off, but as I was doing so,she squeezed my dck harder than I believe it has ever been squeezed before... Another ruined orgasm... While giving her multiple orgasms... And it still didn't stop there. After my orgasm was ruined, and all of my ejaculatory fluids had been emptied, she started to jerk me off again, giving me my first ever taste of true post-(ruined)orgasm torture. Yes, POT does still work after ejaculation via ruined orgasm. I couldn't even correctly concentrate on pleasuring her until she stopped... All last night, and all of today, I wanted to be allowed to either fuck, or be fucked more than I have ever wanted it before in my life... My keyholding Domme is a sadist in the truest since of the word though. I'm starting to believe I may never enjoy the feeling of a teue orgasm again without some serious consequences being attached to that pleasure. I think I love my Domme more now than I ever thought possible. |
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My testicles are still huge (of course), but I think I'm getting used to initial torture from the pain of carrying them around. Aside from that, now that I have the swollen blue balls, my dick looks absolutely tiny by comparison to them. Btw...Now that the better part of the pain is gone, I now know tthe true torture of orgasm denial. Since I can't get off myself, and I'm not being allowed to fuck, at this point, I would be not only be willing, but I would be happy if I was told I was going to be fucked. I am crazy horny. |
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Just to be clear to anybody who might have read my last entry, I did not mean she was catering/paying for my kink in a sense that I am topping from the bottom. She is allowing me to have one of my kink desires fullfilled on her terms. She has been in control of me, one way, or another, and mostly/currently as her live in submissive, and her intimate partner, and we are happy this way. In other news, I really need to get used to "lifting heavier things". The pain (I don't believe) is the device, it's that I'm carrying around much larger, tighter, and therefore heavier testicles than I'm used to. Yeah, they are still really uncomfortable, but today it's more like my bladder is full of urine on an extremely long car ride, with no stops for bathroom breaks. |
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It huuuuurrrrrrrts sooooo much, but I asked for this, and my owner was nice enough to take her time, and her money to cater to my kink. Taking my first steps into real, inforced chastity/orgasm denile this week, and I'm only about four days in. Day one was pretty much like, "Okay, it's on". Day two, it was dealing with the random pinchies that come from wearing a device in a tender area. Day three was me waking up, and being really horny, and in the evening, my horniness making me want to get all happy with my owner, and being allowed to make her more than happy, as she had multiple orgasms, and was all kinds of giggly at the fact I was in pain due to the chasty device squeezing and pinching my tender parts. Now for the start of day four, my high, tight testicles feel so heavy that the weight of them makes them feel as if they could stretch my sack and my innards off/out of my body. It honestly feels like I have a hernia, and my day at work was very rough going. I did make two agreements with her before starting this though. First, I only get out of chastity when she wants to use my cock for something, and I get locked back up the second she is finished. Second, if I ever tamper with the device, or hesitate/refuse to put the device back on when she finishes, I will be permanently reminded why I should be careful what I wished for. I will get a "tramp stamp" that says whatever insulting and humiliating thing she sees as fitting for the circumstance. Despite my pain and suffering, she isn't showing any mercy, and at this point, if I got off and relieved the pressure in my testicles, she would know for sure I did so, so there is no turning back now. To any subs that might read this, please be careful what you wish for. your owner may be in a good mood and be enough of a sadist to give it to you...But on their terms. |
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Starting on Friday, I will be away from the site for thirty days. If you care to know why, ask my owner. It's a "need to know" basis, and she can tell you if you need to know. |
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Goodbye Ohio, welcome back Kansas! It's good to be home. No longer looking for anything more than decent conversation. |
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Might be off the site for a bit. The roommates house is being foreclosed on, so i am sort of forced to relocate. i will get back to any messages i get when i return, and yes, i'll sit and answer every one of them.
Until that time comes, if Y/you know me, Y/you already have additional means to get a hold of me.
See Y/you all soon.
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Today is my big day. For those that have spoke with me, Y/you already know this, but i have an amazing career opprotunity today. At 2:30pm i have an interview for an amazing company called Milacron Inc, located in Mount Orab, Ohio (they have facilties all over the world though). Full-time (40+ hours a week) $10-$12 per hour to start, plus medical to start. Dental, vision, and 401K start after 90 days with the comapny.
i have a brother with 18 years seniority with the company that now makes a little over $30 per hour, and he has been pulling alot of strings with the companies local PR man to get my resume bumped up to the front of the line when they were highering, and now they are. i do have the educational background beyond high school for the job, and have some great professional references from former employers to take with me, as well. With all of this, i was told i should almost expect to get the job. Wish me luck, please.
This is a really big deal for me, unfortunately, it will bring roughly two weeks down time for me when i officially start the job from the site. i will have constant e-mail access though, and A/anyone who has been speaking with me on a regular basis already knows how to contact me at it should they want or need to.
For those of You that don't, i'll be back soon to check messages, and yes, i will respond to anyof them them i don't think are spam.
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Site support contacted me. Seems the site didn't allow the word (will spell with astericks to make sure it can be seen) *m*e*d*i*e*v*a*l. Therefore, cutting out some of my info, but it has been sorted out, and re-editted since then.
Otherwise...Bordem post...for Y/your listening please...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JmFeBejYEIQ&feature=related
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i just noticed it won't let me put all the stuff i wanted to into m profile header. i have requested to the site's staff to help me, so there are a few things near the middle of my profile that are a little off. Ask me, and i'll tell You what they were meant to say. i have it all saved to WordPad on my computer. |
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Now my profile looks a little more appropriate. Re-written, and looking pretty decent, i think. |
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i noticed that despite the fact my profile has a decent amount of info on it, it has become, for the most part, a jumbled mess of info. i'll be getting it better sorted today, so please don't think the edits have changed my atittude, just making sure nothing is skipped over, or left out, in a more organized manner. |
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Seemingly off topic, but really, again, for any subs that might wander across this profile, and take the time out of your day, first off, you need a hobby, but otherwise, this should give some insight on how into your submission you should be...(sorry, it's in four parts...) The attention getting part is near the end of part one.
(part one)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fNLPny6Jsxg&feature=related
(part two)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QyIZKcLiDKo&feature=related
...if it hasn't bored you by now, there are two more parts... |
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Goodie!!! Progress on the job front...And it's not just a small step, this one could turn out to be a career. i went to school for machining, CAD, and metal working. my brother has been pulling some strings for me, and after three months, they are highering, and he got me the first interview. Nothing sure yet, but let's keep O/our fingers crossed!!!
my brother said i would only start at aroung $10-$12 dollars an hour, but he has worked there for 18 years, and is making around $30 an hour. i might have just came into something big. i'll know for sure on Monday. The interview is at 2:30pm. |
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"The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you.
You just got to find the ones worth suffering for."
Wonder if i will ever truely find that one that is worth suffering for?
"Live for yourself and you will live in vain;
Live for others, and you will live again."
Will i ever find the person that will let me live for them?
"You may not be her first, her last, or her only.
She loved before, she may love again.
But if she loves you now, what else matters?
She's [not] perfect, you aren't [either],
and the two of you may never be perfect together
but if she can make you laugh, cause you to think twice,
and admit to being human and making mistakes,
hold onto her and give her the most you can.
She may not be thinking about you every second of the day,
but she will give you a part of her
that she knows you can break, her heart.
So don't hurt her, don't change her,
don't analyze and don't expect more than she can give.
Smile when she makes you happy,
let her know when she makes you mad,
and miss her when she's not there."
"All that is gold does not glitter, Not all those who wander are lost."
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Minor updates to my profile. i went and added all of my interests, lifestyle, or otherwise. Gives me more time to pay attention to who i should be paying attention to, and less talk about myself. All of the interests listed on the site pertaining to music were marked in one way, or another. |
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Working for the better part of the weekend. If i am around, it will be later in the night, or not at all as of about 2pm today. i will get back to messages a.s.a.p. though. |
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Here's a complaint I have, but this is for the other people on this site claiming to be a sub/slave. I will also have an annoying little nit pick to the dominants, as well. Please realize though, that I am sure it isn't all of you, but it is enough of you that have crossed my path that I feel the necessity to bring these two things to light.
Please note that this is an opinion that is of my own belief, and is not necessarily shared by the rest of the community.
If you claim to be a submissive, or that you want to be a slave, why doesn't your profiles say you are bisexual? I am honestly very confused by the ones of you who don't claim to be. Think about it for a minute...seriously, if you claim undying loyalty and submission to a potential, future owner, what are those of you suppossedly straight subs/slaves going to do if the first thing the owner tells you to do is service someone of your same gender? Same complaint to the one's of you that bat for the other team, what if your owner tells you to serve someone of the opposite sex?
In the vanilla world, yes, I am straight. But we are on a site that is not here to cater to the vanilla side of life. Really subs/slaves/wannabes, stop giving the few of us that have a real passion for all of this a bad name.
Now for the dominants. Yes, I will serve an owner who I am compatable with unconditionally. Yes, I will even consider doing stuff on cam for a very select few, none of whom I have spoken to yet. But stop asking for my messenger ID's. If in your first message you are asking for it, and I have no idea what you are about, and you have no idea what I am about, it won't happen. Nor will me giving money up for nothing. I did post a few journal entries back that I am desperate enough for a decent job that I would offer up a portion (to be spoken about in PMs only from now on) of my paychecks to assit me in finding employment. This is something that will be mutually agreed upon in PMs, and only if there is also a possability for me to serve you in real time, as well. I do not give money to nameless, faceless, text in a box. I do pamper to the best of my ability any owner that might choose me, but i do need to actually be chosen first.
Dom/mes, sub and slave do not always equal stupid. So kindly stop it, at least with me. It won't work.
To those of you that read this and think it makes me a little less submissive, I am sorry, but sometimes us subs do get game players from the Dom/mes side of things, as well.
I am passionate about this lifestyle for reasons some of you could never hope to dream of. It saved my life...Literally. I was exactly one day out of prison (not some county jail), with only an outdated Yahoo profile when my first owner messaged me. She took it upon herself to take me in, being well aware that I was not in good shape. I was formerly a drug pusher, and drug user. Was homeless on two separate occassions, have no parents or grandparents to ask for help, and was sleeping on a friends couch for the first night I was released from prison, and was sitting on his computer when my first Owner messaged me.
Jail did not help my former atittude. Rehabilitaion clinics did not help my former atittude. Prison did not help my former atittude. Me agreeing to give my life up completely, and unconditionallty to an Owner did change me. I am off the drugs and have had no criminal charges against me for nearly ten years now.
This life saved my life, and I will be forever grateful. If I am messaging you to look for an owner, make no mistake that you have found the best sub/slave you are going to get on this site. If you are contacting me to potentially own me, don't play games. I can see through the bullshit faster than you probably think.
*end rant* |
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i was asked by Someone if i used to come to the site under a different name. Yes, i did, and the name was "jayeyre". No, i don't remember the password to that account, so no, i can't delete it.
Also, yes, i am still looking for a job. The economy sucks right now, and so does the job market. At this point, i'll flip burgers, shovel crap out of horse stalls, or clean toilets even. |
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If anyone that views this that lives in or near Cincinnati, or Northern Kentucky, and knows any place i can find a job, message me, please. If You are a Domme (Trans Dommes included), and find me some form of employment, You can have half of every pay check i get. Thanks in advance. |
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Originally from near Cincinnati, OH, but have been living near Colby, KS for about 6 years. i am relocating myself again to Arlington, TX. i used to live there, as well, under the ownership of the first Domme to have claimed me. No, i am not going to be re-claimed by Her (though W/we are on good terms, and may meet up again).
It's time for me to migrate south for the winter. i plan to be relocated within two weeks. Traveling on the old Greyhound is going to be a drag, but you can meet some damn interesting people on the busses. |
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Let me say what my profile says again. i WILL NOT send money of any form to someone i have not met in the real world first, and if You don't have a us for me other then using me for money.
i have no problem with finding employment, and turning over all my pay checks to an Owner that has other uses for me as Their slave, but again, if You are only looking for cash from me, i'm really not the one.
i apologize to those of You who might not think i sound very submissive in this post, but submissive ans slave do equal stupid either.
Please stop asking me for money if W/we have not met at least once in the real world first. |
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