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- "To be the slave of a woman, a beautiful woman whom I love, whom I worship!"Leopold von Sacher-Masoch
"The only certain means is to render more and better service than is expected of you, no matter what your task may be." -- Og Mandino
Search continues on as i have a desire to serve at the feet of a Goddess and offer my mind, body and soul to Her service.
Searching for the 24/7/TPE servitude dynamic where my only and sole duty is to please and obey my Mistress. my being would be to offer myself to Her amusement, enjoyment and rules.
i offer much both mentally and physically.
i have some experience, but still learning everyday.
i am a excellent houseboy, cook and assistant.
i am most submissive when feminized.
i am not into pain and feel mixed about humiliation; I enjoy some forms of sexual humiliation but prefer to be treated with respect.
i have my own thoughts and opinions but am ever tolerant of others and respectful to my Domme.
i prefer attractive, educated, playful women. i can only submit to women that hold my esteem.
i am learning about body worship, bondage, ass play, orgasm restriction, protocol, forced feminization, being less sassy and slave training.
i still have much i wish to experience and learn.
My hard limits are scat, needles, body modification, and minors.
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It has been a week since Ma'am has been gone. i miss Her. It has given me time to reflect on myself and my behavior. Although i have longed to be Her slave, i, at times have not behaved in a manner which She deserves.
The time has come for me to embrace my station and do my best to be Her slave. i am willing to be put in chastity, allowing Her full control over my orgasms.
i have thought long and hard and if this is going to work, and i want it to, i have to give myself to Her and be Her slave.
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i am a confused one. Ma'am is gone now for maybe up to 6 weeks. i am left alone. Although i enjoy my "free" time, i also miss Ma'am very much and am feeling lost without Her here. Is there a balance that can be achieved?
i am looking into purchasing more clothes to dress for Ma'am. i have lost some or they have been destroyed, Yay! i know Ma'am will be very confused about me wanting to improve my wardrobe, as i send Her so many mixed signals and it is very taxing on Her. i guess at times, i am a terrible boi to Her. i don't mean to be, but it does happen.
i don't think i sometimes live up to Her expectations of me, but then again, i can also tend to be indifferent at times. i am confused, but longing for Her words and touch of Her hands.
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i am torn.
my Mistress tries Her very best to make sure that my needs and desires are cared for and i would guess that as Domina's go she's fairly lenient with me because I could not, would not want to live under a strict and loveless rule but yet...
i need my space and i need personal time.
She comes and goes as She please and i know She tries to accommodate me as She is able...
but
i find Myself reacting poorly for lack of personal time and space.
i am often abrupt or cold when She's done nothing to deserve it.
i know i am hurting Her.
i know She would give me what i need could She but just the ongoing presence of another person when i need time for reflection and to recenter has me frazzled and despite my best efforts i wound Her.
What can i do?
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Yesterday was an interesting day for me as i had my first "party" with 2 Dommes and 5 of us bois. It all started with some smothering and me dressed in my body stocking and serving Ms Jones and i was tasked to clean and arrange the bar area. i have some experience doing that so it was a good task for me. i took care of what Ms Jones needed for Her play with the other bois. Wish we could have stayed a bit longer and "scened" more but it was a good first time, not too extreme or demanding and look forward to the next "party" with Ms Jones.
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It has been awhile since i posted on here, but had to talk about the other night. Ms Jones and i went shopping for some clothes for me and we picked up some panties, slips, night clothes, hose and undies. See Ms Jones likes for me to wear females clothes around the house. i put on a little fashion show for Ms Jones and it turned us both on sexually. After a while She had me run a bath for me and She washed me and oiled me up very well. After cleaning me up well, She straddled me and i was honored to drink Her golden nectar. We have only done this a couple of times, but i felt very honored to be able to do this with Ms Jones.
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Ms Jones has not left me, She is taking to a break and heading out west. i apologize for any confusion there might have been. i will miss Her while She is gone and i can't wait till She finds Her Girlfriend and we start the poly house and i am there to serve. |
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Good-bye Ms Jones....Hope Your adverture is good for You. |
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Today i am a sad slave. my most gracious and wonderful Mistress and i had a trying weekend. Hopefully we will be able to overcome whatever shortcomings i have and She will again accept me as before. The realities of life sometimes interferes with the complexity of a good Mistress/slave relationship, but i aim to do my best to serve and honor Ms Liberty Jones. |
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Thinking of Ms Jones...
To Put It Simply, I Want You
by Iloveit
I want to be your companion
and walk hand in hand,
your strength enveloping mine.
Autumn leaves falling,
scuffing feet and laughter,
sharing nights, not finished by the dark.
I want to be your confidant
as you pen your deepest
thoughts, as your heartaches
bleed and finally break free.
Your dreams, I keep as if my own.
I want to smile as you smile
and giggle with you
at nothing at all.
I want to be your lover
and find the passions
that move you to action.
I want to be the softness
that induces you to trust.
I want to be the naughty
that makes you come back for more.
I want to please you.
I want to share your breakfast
and your dinner,
I want you in the shower
and in your bed and
with soft steps to bring you coffee
(I take mine black)
Your strong arms, the legs
that power your thrust,
your lips of pleasure,
these are the fuel of my desire
no it is no secret, my love,
and to put it very simply,
I want you.
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it has been very difficult before now to understand how i could miss someone's strong touch and crave and desire their attention. But the feeling of being lost, without Ms Jones by my side, gets stronger everyday and when She is not here it hurts. i dream about the next time we will meet and until that time, i do have great memories of a weekend of serving, worshipping and pleasure. Ms Jones has captured my heart, taken my body to places i only imagined and my thoughts are only on the greatest Mistress i have ever known, Ms Liberty Jones. |
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Whew, i don't know where to start. Instead of just being able to serve Ms Jones on one day during this weekend, i was lucky enough to serve Her Friday night, Saturday, Sunday and till noon Monday. It was an excellent weekend and i am blessed to have such a wonderful, fantastic, beautiful (i could go on) Domme such as Ms Liberty Jones. The tasks and physical activity should have worn me out, but the anticipation, excitement and pleasure of serving and giving myself to Ms Jones, kept me from being exhausted. i am so looking forward to learning more, already have some lessons, and serving to the best of my ability for such a GREAT Domme. |
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Hooray for me!!! i get to see Ms Jones on Monday and serve Her desires all day long, How can a subbie get so lucky to have One like Ms Jones. |
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Looking forward to the next time i will be able to serve Ms Liberty Jones. She is the best!!! One of these days, i want to be one of Her live-in bitches, for Her to use as She wishes. Dreams do come true, i have heard!!! |
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i had an awesome weekend with my Domme, Ms Jones, thank You for the beautiful time. i guess i can safely say i am not a virgin any longer. |
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Looking forward to meeting my Domme again this Sunday. She makes me feel wanted and i enjoy my submission to Her Dominance. i can't wait!!! |
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A great weekend with my Domme...my ass is still hurting from Sunday, but it brings a smile to my face everytime i sit. Can't wait to see Her again. |
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Meeting up with my Domme again for this weekend and my birthday...i wonder what is in store for me!!! |
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i am feeling so submissive tonight that i can't sleep. Once again have the feeling that i need to be bound and take my Dommes strap on. Hoping that things are going to work out with the Domme i met. |
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Met a Domme from here and had a wonderful time with Her. Being our first time meeting, we talked about the lifestyle and some of what She is looking for and my limited experience. She made me feel so comfortable and i only hope that She will want to visit again and take it another step. All in all a very great day! |
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There are just some nights you wish you could find someone to take you and just use you for all they want and leave you tied up till morning and do it again without any pleasure for you. Tonight is that night. |
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I am hoping that Christmas or this new year finds me on my knees in front of the Domme I seek...we all have to have a Christmas list, don't we? |
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wondering if I will find that special Domme to give myself too...seems like a long time...but good things come to those with patience, I guess. It is a test of time... |
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| Age: 25 |
| Brugge,
Belgium |
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