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We have a couple of slots opening up for sessioning in my very private home dungeon. If you are submissive, non smoker, and in decent health, then send me a message, and lets schedule a visit and tour. Painsluts are a plus!! |
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The next event for FFS will be a Chinese styled gift exchange and play party, on Dec 13th
Message me for details!
The Halloween party was too much fun...the Christmas party will be too!! |
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The next two dates for FFS Parkersburg Munches are October 23rd, and November 20th at the North End Tavern or NET off of Emerson Ave at 6pm. Just ask for Chelley's group and come on in and get to know some of Parkersburg's most laid back kinksters. It is good food and lots of laughter, with conversation ranging from planning future events, to deep kink and everyday stuff.
Don't worry about the protocol because we are more into sharing laughter as we explore our kink, than what we are worried about who calls whom Sir or Ma'm.... this group just likes to explore and learn new kinky things with fun knowledgeable people.
We are having an after party back at my house to celebrate Brandon's birthday. If you do not know who he is... now would be as good a time as any to come find out. LOL
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Next munch for FFS will be August 28th @ the NET 6pm. Come meet some of Parkersburg, Wvs finest kinksters and fetishists! We have a good time and usually an after party that whips up a lot of laughs! |
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Ask me about events in the Parkersburg area! Fetish Friends Society is an inclusive sort of group that has munches and play parties going on and we'd love to invite and make the acquaintance of new friends in the are or those willing to come up or down river for some fun!
The next munch is this April 23rd 7pm, at the Western Sizzlin' out at Lubeck and then a play party back at our house!!
We have a home dungeon set up for massage, impact, wax, and pretty much whatever some one may be interested in doing... We have a St. Andrews Cross, a standing framed Stockade, professional massage table and hot rocks, and are working on a rack for our friends play pleasures!
The first card party/game night will be held at our house March 7th @ 7pm. You must RSVP on for directions or message me direct! Come have fun with FFS!!!
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Life is good! Yes, it has been a while since I have felt like leaving a journal snipit here. I am so active with my groups on that site and with a busy real life, that I am not here as much anymore.
Those who want to find me, usually do.
Lets see.. since last entry, I have gotten married. Given up the FFS group in Fairmont WV...and an finishing up the MA registry program. I am job hunting and we are looking for a different and bigger place to live......
As a newly wed, I am looking forward to the future. We still plan to add a slavegirl or a submissive couple to our household... so do feel free to message me anywhere you may cross my path, if you want a D/D couple for friendship and fun..maybe more...
Friends of any persuasion are always a good thing to have......
Happy Autumn all.. |
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Still smiling here! It has been a turbulant month, but I am still smiling. Life goes on in such a wonderful way!!
I am currently open to considerations for a female house slave. Candidates must be non smokers, 25 or older, and be willing to become 24/7 with in a reasonable time. Also must be finacially solvent or willing to become employed with in a reasonable amount of time.
Duties will include domestic ,as well as personal chores, for a a descisive, stern Mistress,and Her fiancee, with actual fur type pets. You will be expected to be obedient and not argumentitive, in serving Myself and the occasional guest.
This is a medium protocol house, willing to negotiate, slaves needs and assist with life issues. This would be a good position for students attending college, or a retired gal with no dependants. Looks are not as important as over all service attitude.
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Come meet Me and other WV kinksters tomorrow, Saturday July 10th, for a picnic!
@ Audra State Park, from 11am to 6pm or later. Bring a food item or two, and somethings to drink, and enjoy a family friendly day with some awsome kinky folks, in a beautiful place!!!! |
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Since I have moved to WV, so much has been going on! Fetish Friends Society (FFSofWV) on yahoo groups as well as is growing.
We have joined with KATS, and are planning a family friendly picnic, for July 10th, @ Audra State Park.
Any Kinkster/fetishist/lifestyler/ living in or close to WV, are invited to come be a part of our picnic.
Message Me for further info, or check out the events page on , WV Statewide Picnic. Come have fun! |
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Finally Spring! It is time for Me to enjoy some sunshine.
Since moving, I have been taking some time to resettle, and reevaluate the things in My life. The grief of loosing My partner, John...as well as the long winter has left Me chilled, but looking forward to the warmth of friends and family.
I am open, like the blossom of some rose, to making new friends..... and exploring.
It may well be time to grow from sorrows, and shake off the cold that has wrapped Me. I am hopeful that with current and new friends, that I shall soon be laughing in the sunshine again. |
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I have had enough! Life has dealt Me some seriously emotional crap in the last year. So I am trying to be a sensible Gal, and am going to take a break from things.
Know that once I am resettled, I will be back. In the meantime, all I am interested in is maintaining the existing friendships that I have been blessed with.
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So it is New Years,... Maybe by febuary, I will feel like I am alive again.
I am getting through each day by trying to concentrate on the day to day tasks....but things are never going to be the same again. |
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As John would wish, I am carring on. So often He would make me say back to Him, that Life is for Living. I understand that meaning more today than ever before.
You will be missed My Love, but You gave me and all those that knew You so much happiness. It is Your laughter and Your arms around Me that I shall miss so much.
RIP John Thomas Helsel, Watcher/soulcaptivator, January 9th, 1949 - December 18th 2009
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My heart is breaking, Soulcaptivator/John also know elsewhere as Watcher, my fiancee and Love, has passed away.
He was my everything................ |
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Happy Holidays!
Tomorrow Friday, December 4th, is the Butler Munch Lunch being hosted By Me, 1pm at The Dynasty Chinese Buffet in the front side of The Clearview Mall, off route 8 in Butler Pa.
This lunch is for new members, regular members, and friends interested in learning more about the Butler Munch Group.
Come have lunch and hang out with some good people! Relaxed atmosphere, casual meal. Lots of laughter.
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Happy Autumn! This weekend is another great play party!
We are glad to be able to host The Butler Munch group here in our playroom!
If you happen to be in the Pittsburgh/Butler/New Castle areas, try this awsome group out! We are a laid back bunch of kinksters. We are all varied in our kinks, skill levels, and come together to share, laugh, and have a reslly good time. |
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Wow the Party was awsome! As always it was a great time sharing and laughing with such a good bunch of kinksters.
soulcaptivator and Myself are looking forward to the next party on October 12th, and the Halloween Bash @ Vince and cindi's on the 31st!!!
The next Butler Munch will be held October 12th. Come on out to Panera Bread in the Butler Crossing/Walmart Plaza and meet some of the nicest kinksters the Pennsylvania area has to offer!
In order to attend these wonderful partys you have to have attended at least one munch.
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Three days and counting till the Butler Munch Group's rope demo and playparty here !!
Soulcaptivator and Myself are so excited to have friends in for a little kinky fun.
Party starts at 6pm. The Rope Demo is @7pm and will be done by enthusiast BondoFox.
There are many demos and partys in planning for the upcomming months. If you live in the NE Pittsburgh or surrounding areas, you ARE invited to join the Butler Munch group, and come out and party with some of the best kinksters in the area.
Need more info, feel free to message me. |
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Yeahhhhh! It is that time again! Time to come out to Panera Bread in the Butler Crossing/Walmart Plaza, on August 12th at 6pm to 9pm, for The Butler Munch Pa. 
Come on out and meet Me and a lot of the area's finest kinksters! This group loves to mentor and is a laid back no pressure sort of group.
We welcome most fetishes and kink levels from newbie, to heavy players. Topics range from the vanilla to the edge and beyond.
So come out and enjoy a relaxed evening, make new friends, and find out where our next party is going to be!! |
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By Far the best Party yet!!
I have to say that Our lil munch group is the best of the best! It was so wonderful getting to join Soulcaptivator, in hosting this party. It was a pleasure beyond words to have Our home filled with sounds of pleasure and pain. :) We look forward to the 4th of July cookout and the next party! To Aall who came: A big thank you for one hell of a good time! C.
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WOW!
Time sure flies when one is having fun! Summer is already upon Us!
We are hustling to get the redecorating finished by end of June. Yeah, just in time for another fun playparty with the local munch group! This time maybe we will remember to pull out the VW and the cupping set. LMAO. Anyone ready for a BarbieQ?? *wicked grins* |
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Spring has finally arrived! We are so glad. But with the spring change has also come to Our household. Sc's girl of 5 years has left Us. This opens the doorway for other subs who may be seeking a 24/7 live in situation. If you are domesticly inclined, a nonsmoker, and have no children residing with you.....if being controlled and yet spoiled by 2 experienced and skilled people interests you, then do get in touch with Myself here or Soulcaptivator. We have a lot to offer a quality submissive. |
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Vacation is over! Back to work for me. :(
It has been a beautiful time, some chores got done, some playtime happened, and a lot of deep thought towards this girls future.
Too soon my birthday will be upon me again....and then the end of summer.......*sighs* |
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WS has came and gone! OMG what a fun time we had!
John did a sceene with me where He cut away the old symbolicly by doing some knife play and removing all my clothes. He then had me to return to the dungeon dressed in a sexy black very Domme outfit.
Together He and I Topped yo for her first ever public sceene. she did very well. We are proud of Our girl!
It was just too much fun gettiing to see ol friends, meeting the friends that we chatted with over the past year, and holding my head high as I walked by the bitches that have donme nothing in the last few years but cause me grief!
AND it felt so wondeful to be able to talk and intermingle with T/those i wanted to without fear of upsetting anyOne. It really felt good to own myself this year!
As a family We really are looking forward to next years WS!! And hopefully by then we will be taking along a couple new pets to play with.
*warm and wicked smiles* |
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One more shift of work and then I am on Vacation!! LOL!
8 more hours and then I shall be organizing and packing for the wonderful weekend of fun and friendships!
This year the girl knows that things are going to be better than ever! |
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4 days until WoodsStocks!! Yeahhhhhhh! i for one can't wait to camp out with about 100 kinky folks! It will be nice to see a few friends again, and to maybe make new aquaintances.
I am on vacation starting the 17th and don't have to return to work untill the 27th!! WooHoo!!
I certainly am ready for some R&R!!! |
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Is summer always so hot in Pa?? *G* Well things do seem to be steamy on occasion. Guess I am luckier than some switches to be able to have so many choices. Thanks btw to that certain One who has allowed me such priveldge! |
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Good Bois!
I do love a sexy gurl who is so willing to do my bidding!
I guess the Domme side of me surfaces most when I am looking into the eyes of some sweet thing kneeling and begging to service me! *wicked laughs*
All the better when he or she is also seeking to become part of a twisted little poly family!
Why that is almost as rewarding as me being the one on my knees before a sexy Dom oor Mistress!!
Goodness life is sooo sweet!!!!!
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Another beautiful day!!!!!
If you happen to be a submissive looking for a poly family.....please feel free to message m or SoulSoverign here
We have so much kinky fun that we are open to maybe addding to the family if the right one contacts Us.
*smileswarm and wicked* |
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Just another day in paradise!
It is too hot to do much. *sighs* And i happen to be off work the next 2 days.....
It feels like a Floridian summer! But without the pool and cabana boys to keep me comfy! LOL
The Family is still looking for slaves or submissives!! for service and play..:) interested parties should leave a message here or in SoulSoverign profiles.
Possibile opening for the right live in may also exist.
Canidates need to be domesticly inclined and on the masochistic side. |
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Oooooh ! This girl is feeling too frisky!
i am enjoying a beautiful 4 day weekend here! :)
Wanna come play wif chelley!!???
*G* |
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How many actually bother to read before emailing? i have to wonder when i get silly messages like, "bring that ass here and get on your knees i will beat it for you baby!"
AnyOne can be so drole!
What i wish to see is a glimmer of intelligence. i need a Dominant, be They male or female that can mentally bring me to know that i want to serve Them. To command my attentions not with just silly come ons.
But with Their physical presence, classy mannerisms and stylkish showmanship with a whip or flogger. Some talent please!!!!!
Show me why i should crawl across the floor on my knees and make me want to do just that!
Damn i need laid!!! LMAO! |
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WOW! Post one smartassed question and this girl ended up with a mailbox full of mail! LOL! i had no idea there were so many people who liked to wrestle! Hehehehe!
It really does feel so good to just have fun and not be so serious. Casual is a word i an beginning to like more and more.........
But still there really is that sacred part of chelley that would like to come to trust One in my life and know i am the center of Their world.....
:) |
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I am finding it very amusing being able to explore all sides of myself. There is even an awakening toward freeing me from some inhibitions....... well...at least when it comes to a fear of knives....:)
And who knew it could be so much fun being a sammy switch? It is heady stuff to have a sexy Dom put me back in my place ! I do crave physical domination ! Wanna wrestle me for the Top??? Hehehehe... |
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*sighs* Life IS good!
This girl has been working hard and is sooooooooooooo ready for some serious play!!! |
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Peace Reigns. It feels so good to wake up and look in my mirror and like once more the gal looking back at me. i am no beauty but am finding a sense of self worth that is making me stronger than i have been before. Happiness is a good feeling.
Although i hate my new position at the new store, it feels good to be taking care of my own buisiness. This is making the girl do some soul searching and descision rethinking about my life. A 24/7 Ds relationship may never be for me ever again. There is a part of me too feral, too independant, too deeply afraid to surrender and trust..... because too many whom i have wanted to trust have stupidly betrayed that gift....
This girl is becomming content with her feral side. My Friends like that wild carefree side of me....and i like the freedom of feeling that beast being gentled,,,....but never tamed.
And independance is something i once feared would seperate me from those i love... i am learning better that that was not true. Owning myself has enhanced my choices in whom and when i want to serve Those who arouse that desire in this girl.
Life is good!!!
BTW Adam Sir if You read this...thank You for a wonderful evening Tuesday night. My Friends welcome getting to know You Sir...as i welcome another visit sometime...
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The move has turned out well for this one. Often i had said that sometimes wild ones should remain free. Freedom has a price, and so i take my ass to work each day...lol.
i have come to like owning myself for a change. There is this side to me that is truely feral. Yes i bite!
For the moment this one is still basking in the freedom, and taking each new day as it comes.
Happiness is a tangable feeling and i like it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
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This girl has gotten moved. Things are looking up for me. i am doing my best to try to keep moving forward. My Friends are awsome and baring a few rough nights i think i am handling this new chapter okay.
Monday is the start of my job here, and it is my hope by then to have most of my furnishings somewhat in place..LOL. We got the last load without any incidents and i was blessed to get to spend a few minutes with my Sister, as We picked up my dog.
YEAH..here in this new life i can actually have him back ...so no matter what.......i will have some companionship.
The girl is gonna be okay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
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To every life changes happen. Relationships end, and things just are not always what we had hoped for. People grow apart as well as together.
This girl has seen such and is scratching my head wondering why so called friends and others connected, can't just be more understanding than judgemental.
Why is it that people feel the need to get quiet or back away from continuing friendships with all partys in breakups. Who made the rule that we have to choose a "side".
There really is NO SIDES here to choose. Those i served are that wonderful, loving me enough to know i have to grow, and were wise enough to give me that push.
i am not so shallow that i can somehow flip a switch inside me and stop loving the two of Them.
They are not so cold and uncaring that i will be abandoned as the changes happen.
We will always be a family, friends, and honest in Our differences.
There really is no need for drawing away, choosing "sides", ignoring the other parties, or ostrisizing any One of Us. There is no need to judge or look for Their faults, nor mine.
If the three of Us can make these transitions in "OUR" relationship...why can't also be as simple for those connected to Us, in both the community, and closer circles???????
Is not the fact that love really in the end ruled out for the three of Us not a more beautiful thing...than the expectation for animosity? *sighs* |
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As clear as i can say it, i will love Those i served forever. i will not slander Them ...so don't expect this of me!
After nearly three years it has become apparent that We just do not fit and so, i have been released.
They are good people. They gave me a lot of myself back after a tragedy. i earned that and so much more, in serving Them.
It is never easy closing a chapter in ones life. This is the case though.
At the moment i am getting together a plan, and do have a place to go to to heal and recover. i wish to thank those who inquired of that, and or made offers for my welfare.
May tomorrow bring abrighter day is all i can think of right now......
so please know that i am not rushing into the arms of another Dominant, or any relationship beyond friendship.......
all i am at the moment is on auto pilot and that is nothing worthy of anyOne else...............................
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Why is it so wrong to just want to serve, love and be loved?
This girl is soooooo tired of all those who would destroy because of envy.
All i can do is hold onto that hope that tomorrow will shine brighter than the days past.
All i want to do is to Love and be Loved by Those i serve.
And is it so wrong to wish for that open closeness that was once so a part of things?
A lot of questions and only hope as an answer. c |
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This girl is been busy getting things in order to go to college in the fall.
Those i serve have finally convinced me that i am not as stupid as i have been told all my life. LOL.
i am still burdened with that feeling of contentment...that has me behaving for the most part...LOL.
So many wonderous and wonderful things have happened that the trust and love i have for Those i serve seems to have only deepened as the holiday season gives way to Valentines...and then St Pattys ......
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Right now this girl has found a sort of place of contentment.
Yes, as always, when He pays attention to me, ..... it is still at Master's feet that i bask in the utmost of contentment and peace...but in my overall life ...just being me, serving Them, going to work, and comming home exhausted, falling in bed alone only to do it all again the next day........... as wierd as it may sound....is peace and satisfactionery enough that this girl is finding that i am not feeling any need to hunt beyond the homegrounds of Master. *smiles a feral yet tamable smile*
Maybe it is the winter of contentment that has this she bound....and ready to just den with Those i love..............and for the first time in a few years this one is looking forward to a happy holiday season. |
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A bit out of touch for the next little while....working a lot of hours. Priorities have to be met so i owe i owe it's off to work i go! Hoping for happy holidays means one has to earn the pay! LOL c |
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All i want for Christmas is ....*well the Santa i serve knows* Now i look to see if He will give the gift of my deepest desire............... |
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Fall chill is upon U/us. But instead of hibernation this year...the girl is looking forward to new growth, and celebrations.
Even with all the dissapointments of the past year,,,the concerns and the absences now in my life...i refuse to get depressed and curl into myself over what i can not do anything about. Someday i think that my absence will be felt in a very sharp way.... |
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Just relaxing and thinking how nice it has been here lately......
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Happy Halloween! Master and Msj s party went off rather well. Although very tired and well used, i hated having to get my tail up and head to work today. On nearly one hour sleep this girl survived and came home after work to crawl into my bed alone and sleep like a log! Woke dreaming of all the wonderful treats Those i serve have bestowed on me....and this one, counted and admired each bruise, welt and bite markl with a feeling of well being that i have not held in a long while... It feels so nice to be well loved by Those i serve! *wicked bad girl smiles* |
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one day at a time...one moment to savor a lifetime.............. |
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commit me...to Thy service.....
let this one be worth a thought beyond that of momentary seduction... beyond the domestic bliss....please..pray i , that i be found more pleasing than with the last swallow of Ones seed...Let this one be more valued...more desired..and more fulfilled in serving You. Find me worthy ...as in my heart, i feel what i can not express beyond service.
and so i question...am i really such a slave? am i so committed? Should i be committed when i wear no collar? |
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Each moment..as a gift...each moment that i am permitted to sit at the feet of Master....is contentment. And from my heart i serve Both in this contentment.
As stated previous..all one can do is take each day as it comes and hope to be so fortunate............ |
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Just taking moment by moment....sometimes that is all one has.....
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Another day above the grass! LOL.
And today..i am at peace with that. Content that even though i don't always know or understand what Those i serve have in mind for me...i will be alright! Is acceptance and trust the same things? i am not sure...but i feel fortunate just being here right now, when so many others have so much less. |
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she lays on the floor in the tremors of afterglo. His hands can still be felt on her flesh. The welts He has left are still burning. But she is drifting into a contentment. Sleep and excape...dreaming of knowing...Knowing that she really is His,Theirs,,,,,...... for that would be bliss...for that absolute understanding would make all the difference.....
and for that hope...this girl endures all else. Trusts in Love again to win out over all .....
call me a silly sentimenatist....but hope is all i have. |
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Seems...life is so full lately that the wicked bad girl has not had as much playtime....hope it gets better soon! LOL. |
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...should have made it understood that my actual birthday is on the 19th... i didn't think that i;d be around here to post. *grins*
Thank You to A/all the kind O/ones who wished this onery ol' gal a Happy Day... |
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Happy Birthday to meeeeeeee! Not too old to be on my knees....... Not too young to adore and please.... *giggles* Happy Birthday to meeeee! |
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Ever so softly she felt His fingers as they closed in upon her shoulders. She held her breath in anticipation. She wanted to be desired this way by Him.......
His teeth sank home upon her soft flesh. The girl cried out and a passion, a longing for Him grew into her very soul.....
He pressed Himself to her and listened as she moaned and sobbed for Him. His. He smiled and released her and pushed her to kneel before Him.
In that desire she wavered between fear and acceptance...for she had felt Him...had known that before He had touched her.......that....she...was...mastered. |
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"Trust me....and then know pain of a different sort.................."
Hearing this she stopped and smiled, for pain and she had too good a repoir.
"Hurt me, and let me know i can feel You!" she breathed in whisper.
"Desire Me! Answer Your soul!" He taunted.
she let a tear roll off her cheek and breathed a deep breath...."so Hurt me if You will......"
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For a moment i danced,
for a while We sang,
for now W/we walk........................
For the path was fresh and exciting,
For the path became comfortable,
For the path became a tretcherous journey, |
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WS 2007 was awsome!!!!! This girl had so much fun! Master was so attentive and W/we played with a few really cool Ls folks. i am looking forward to next year!!
Shame that i had to come home and work sunday evening and have not really had a catch up moment since WS.....*take a breath girl*** LOL.
i was gifted by Master with my first ever florintine singletail sceene. He bought the services of Master Jarrod and i was a jubilant slave as Master cuffed and restrained me between two trees for the experience!!!
i am happy to bear the marks on both my front and back from the whipping. And did i mention the pics of all of it? Pics taken after Master did an awsome shibari weave on His girl...they turned out nicely....as did the whip marks! *G* Love body Art like that...fun to recieve ...fun to share....fun to watch change colors and fade away......
i also have happy bruises from being bitten and such this weekend! and did i mention that not only did i watch as Master sceened with a few others, He and i had some great sceenes together as well!
This girl is certainly looking forward to WS 2008! Meeting even more faboulus LS people and reaquainting with old F/friends.... |
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Sometimes a slave or submissive can forget that Those they serve are still mere mortal beings!
To this girl Master is a giant, and a pillar of a man. He is so many things to me and for me.
This week, a good friend in the BDSM community died suddenly. And it has hit home in this family.
Mistress has been worried over Master's health issues. He has been to the doctors and is having a stress test wensday.
i am feeling it. And i am feeling as if They have not told me everything about His health. i'd like to be supportive. i see that it may be or is, it is Their way of looking after me....but i wish She would let me be here for Her more....
This girl would. i love Them both and in so many ways. i am not so shallow or selfish that i am blind to how all of the recent events are wearing on Her.....
She too...is everything to me. She is the way i can only wish my Mother was to me...and stronger than i could ever be.....
They are my family.....and i am not ready to to loose either of Them!
i just wished i could love and be loved a long time into the future..... |
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To sleep a final slumber,
would i dare to dream of sweet release..
Tarry not me here much longer,
For i am weary on these feet.
Dance the last call and be away,
For the nights sonnet be shortened
Must sadly it gives into the day...
Wake! Wake!
Harken fourth and meet the dawn
Or choose to cower in the covers?
Not this one...
For rise i must..
Spirit although weary,
lusts for the change of another new sun
Lusts for the dance of a new song,
And so this girl greets the One who gives me lyrics...
and sings...."Morning Master.....what would You like for breakfast?"
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This girl has had an awsome forth of July. My last shift went very well. It felt so good to be told again and again by my superiors that they would miss me and that i was always welcome back should i wish to ever return to the Highland Store.
Master and Mistress planned a nice 4th celebration. It didn't exactly go as planned however it sure has been nice having Master M and pet with U/us. They have been working hard on the room addition and soon Master will have accomplished so much...with a little help from good F/friends.
This girl has enjoyed the time off and is looking forward to starting at the new store.
Master and Mistress and i are getting along wonderfully. It is a blessing to finally have a home... and Them to serve with a sense of well being. |
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It is the eve of the final shift i will be working at the store. i am excited at the prospect of my future...and yet find the move to be bittersweet. Mistress assures me that growth is a good thing...so i shall take Her word and reasurance as i make the changes in my financial outlook.
i am blessed to have so many who care about me. It felt so good tonight to hear again and again that my coworkers would be missing me.
This girl is learning to take the praise with some belief that i have earned it. Have to attribute things to having the balance that serving Master and Mistress has brought in my life to finally feeling deserving ....................belonging to Them has made that much difference in me.
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Lastnight was an awsome needle play demo at the Links! Master made this girl feel so cared for. i even participated and had 2 needles tried in my arm. (pressing a limit) i think i would like to do more exploration in this area.
Even in the face of a rude and disrespectful former submissive, Master held my feelings in regard. That meant so very much in strengthening Our relationship. The way He listened and respected me, was a beautiful thing.
the one that was so out of line did herself much disfavor in being so blatant that Master saw for Himself, her behavior.
i am a forgiving girl and await an apoligy. *G* If it ever comes ...perhaps Master will be grascious and honor the request she made, at another time.
The icing on the evening was comming home and curling up between Mistress and Master for the post party chat. It felt so wonderful knowing i belong to Them....am loved.
Funny........ it is the little gestures that draw me closer to Mistress. The only thing that could have made the night better was if She had been with Master and i............. |
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This week has the girl looking forward as well as deep inside herself. There is an upcomming camping event that has me excited as well as feeling some trepidation.
Last year this girl was brand new in Master's life. i was shy and a bit (Master's words) reserved.
This year i am feeling more secure and settled with Master and Mistress. i am hoping that W/we all have a much better time.
The girl is looking forward to the nights of play in the dungeon. Meeting new persons, and watching the pride in Master's eyes.
But i am swallowing my fears and feelings of not liking another few parts. i will be part of the slave auction . They are planning on offering my table serving skills. i will be setting a table service for Them and 2 guests who win the bid for the oppertunity of eating a meal on real china, and flatware, table cloth/napkins crystal glasses and even a flower in a vase, as opposed to the paper plate and wait in line usual way of reciaving meals at this event.
i will be making the plates and serving the drinks to the guests and to Master and Mistress. Much like i do at home.
The issue for me is that when this girl serves Another...it is from the heart and a very intimate thing for me.
Also...the whole concept of slave auctions brings up some bad childhood memories.
i have agreed to participate like a good slavegirl and do what Master wishes...... but i am still feeling so down about the whole issue.........
*sighs* even having bad dreams again ....and i had been doing okay till this.
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this girl doesn't need warnings about Master....
He and Mistress know this one like no Others in my life.
Such vague implications only serves to make me more committed to how i feel about Them.
W/we ....are a family. They love and care for me...even in difficult moments....moments where Others have turned Their backs on me....They have not.
i am without a doubt......Theirs,,,,His ....Hers.
Nothing AnyO/one else could say to me is going to change the facts that They have given me more than words. By Their actions...i already know .
This girl is loved and Home! |
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Mistress told me once when i first came to Them that She would fight for Their relationship because it meant that much to Her. i have came to the point that i feel similar about Them/Him.
i try not to be jealous, but living a poly existance is not an easy thing. Knowing that occasionally others will be part of the equasion in the relationship with Master is something i can tolerate, even in many ways enjoy.
Master permits this girl to enjoy the company of other women, and the occasional Sir, but be warned subfemmes and Dommes alike....this girl is a Leo and the lioness will fight to hold my position in Master's Pride. i come second only to Mistress Herself unless or untill They release me. you may play in O/our world, but any dumb enough to think or try for more will be challenged. |
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So many things have me excited about my life again. Master and Mistress returned from vacation and things are going well. All the insecurities seem to have been peeled back and once more this girl feels the connection that was in the beginning so strong with Master and Mistress. i am settling and starting to feel Them when the word home comes up. That almost was a lost thing. This girl takes betrayals a little harder than the average woman........... i need open communication, reassurances, and attention. When i feel as if something is being kept from me....i lose trust. When actions change, in relation to some others i am human and a falible woman. i feel hurt. When i am left frustrated, and needy, i start to feel unwanted. Sometimes this turns into a demonic sexual need.... even sends this girl hunting satisfaction. i hate that about myself. i hate needing Him! And Yet, i know He is the ONLY One in so many years, that can touch that deepest part of me... and calm that demon. Shame He can't teach a few Others the art of touching chelley...LOL! This is How i know He IS Master and i His slave. i would give my life in His service...and because of Him...They have my heart. i love both Master and Mistress in so many ways... tonight, this slavegirl is thankful that They give me a home, and that although times are not always excitment central...They have not released me. Even after i asked..... Master listened to my heart and i am so thankful that i belong to Them. |
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i have been as upfront as i can about all the mischief i was up to while Master and Mistress were away this week....lol.
Master asked if i could get ahold of the pics that were taken of me being used for body shots at a local bar. *giggles* i shall try to obtain them. They show my breasts being held by a girlfriend as liqueor is being poured between my breasts. Another shot shows the liquid cascading on my breasts as a friend licks it up. And another of the pics i was shown is a pretty red pantied crotch shot. Hard to deny i was a wicked bad girl when those pics are floating around somewhere. *giggles* Good thing Master had given His little slut permission to play as i wished. Sometimes He is generous like that with me. *wicked grins*
i am glad They are back home....too much fun like that is hard on a girl! *winks*
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They're home! Yeahhhh! This girl has had fun......................... but missed Master and Mistress very much. Time though to reign things back in and behave a while. LOL.
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Master and Mistress are due home tomorrow afternoon. i am looking forward to Their returning with a very calm contentment.
This girl has had an awsome and busy social schedule this week. It has been eye opening to come to know i have more options than what i ever knew. *smiles *
With a thankful respect, though...i choose to stay and serve the Ones that own my heart. It has been fun,... but with Master's return , so also returns the rules He has set over me. *wicked bad girl smiles* |
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They are away...the girl can play!! *wicked bad girl grins** Alas if only i didn't have to work ...i'd be sooooooooooooooo bad girl good!!
Master and Mistress are in Florida for the next week. chelley is home being a good girl *winks*
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Sometimes one asks for one thing and the heart demands something else.
It has been a hard month of not having needs met and dissapointments. Now it came to the point that this girl felt she had to ask for release....but it wasn't/isn't what my soul and heart truely sought. Thankfully i do serve a Master wise enough to eventually figure out His problamatic girl. i asked if He had any idea that owning a painslut was going to be so much hard work...and i laughed as He replied He expected some ...and was ready to deal with that aspect of me...but it was the nympho part that is giving Him the most problems...LOL. i do have a deep need that occasionally turns demonic. He and i are working through so much..Bless Mistress for being strong enough to deal with He and i both ! Having never really belonged anywhere before now...before Them...it has been a learning experience for this girl. Learning to trust Them is as hard as learning to trust in myself for accepting that They really do want me. i am comming to terms with so many things about myself in being owned. |
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What is wrong that so many relate living poly to just being easy....... |
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No One told me that serving would be easy......... it is nearly the aniversery of when i came to Master and Mistress, ...... and for some reason this week has certainly been a long hard one. ........ |
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*sighs* Still restless and wanton..... pondering if it may be the perpetual state of chelley....LOL.
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This girl soooooo would welcome some girl on girl playtime. It would be nice to meet a submissive girl, a skilled Domme, or couple to come play with me some night. Master has generously given His permission for me to indulge in that part of who i am.....just the local gals seem shy . *wicked bad girl grins* |
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at every dusk...comes a dawning..... And ever when i am lost and search for His eyes ...He reads my soul and i know comfort in a glance. |
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Wish i wasn't so easily crushed......when all i want to do is please... *sighs* And wish i could matter more than i feel as if i do.....It iis soooooo damn hard not to become jaded...curl up inside myself and never let One in again....but that lilgirl in me always wins out and keeps hoping to be loved............ |
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In His hands i know bliss,
Be it from a flogger,
or a demanding kiss,
In His hands i know emotion,
Be it passion's flame,
or arousal from pain.
In His presence, i know bliss,
Be it resting at His feet,
or or restrained by my wrists.
In His presence i know emotion,
Be it calm love,
or excited waves of lifes ocean.
In Him i am finding a better me......... |
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Spending time with my family is a good time regaurdless of what it is we may be into. The club was slow and at best a bit tame for my tastes. Yet Sissy and i danced and laughed it up. i gave a good massage, *wicked grins* and some company to a nice man , poor guy had no clue how wonderful a thing knowing a pleasure pet could have been. *giggles* His loss.
i came home to Master and Mistress feeling refreshed and contented. At least Master knows what a gal like me is good for...*wicked grins* He never loses!!
It has been two work days since and i am so looking forward to wensday evening....just being able to chill out and set at Master's feet. Why is it that no matter how i may be feeling...just being permitted in His presence calms me....i find peace as i sit at His feet..... and by His hand i feel bliss and release. *soft smiles*
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i am being permitted to go to the playtime club in Zanesville tonight to play and unwind some. i look forward to seeing Sudi and a few of the regulars.
Any pretty gals, or couples want to come play with chelley? *wicked bad girl grins*
It will be nice to have a little r&r. Going with my Sister has tongues wagging and heads turning. She is a Domme bitch that is very pretty and loads of fun. |
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Forgiveness is an awsome thing. It can go a long way toward making one secure again and back into proper perspective.
By Your touch
i am made whole
By Your hand
i am given bliss
By Your smile,
i am made secure
By Your words,
i am as You make me..............
By You
i am complete. |
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This girl has experienced some growing pains after Master and Mistress's Party. i know i MUST learn to trust more. It doesn't come so easy to believe that i am worthy to serve and be loved sometimes.
Because this girl has never really belonged since the death of the first Master, i get so damn insecure. i hate that. i hate emotional pain.
Master tells me that i belong and am not going anywhere, unless i choose to leave Them. And still ....
Master i am sorry. And i am THANKFUL.
Thankful that You have patience and the strength to deal with me, even when i am insecure and in the wrong. i am greatful, for ALL that You have given me. And i am growing because of You and Mistress caring more for me than i can sometimes accept. Still more than i can believe that i deserve but i am trying. |
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What a Awsome Party Master and Mistress put on for Valentines! i feel as if in the last month here W/we as a family have grown so much. i looked forward to breaking new ground with pushing some of my limits and with adding new persons to the sceens Master and i enjoy. But it was met with some dissapointments when the O/others didn't show up to the Party and the Ones who did were not as had led U/us to believe. *sighs*
All was overcome and a deep joy settled with in this wicked bad girl as i turned from Master's cross and found Mistress waiting to wrap me and care for me. i felt so very loved and wanted in that simple gesture.
i am today looking forward to experiencing new avenues with Those i serve. i want some of the fears erased and limits pushed...who knows maybe erased all together.......
Any Females who wish to play please do contact Master or myself. With women i am a switchy one..and can be topped as well as Top another female....would relish such an oppertunity to please Master.....and enjoy such delights. |
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Please
i beg You,
Master,
May i serve and free my soul
Please
Mistress
May i please You and be whole
May i give all i am to You Both
And may i be worthy of such hope. |
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my soul crys out at submissions door,
why is there such need to kneel upon the floor,
Inside i cry but like the crop,
and no matter the welt don't ask to stop
Bent and prone am i in need,
As i await for more than his seed,
why my soul this way wanders still,
in this submission i seek to heal,
passionate so am not drained,
open and ready to be trained,
my soul cries out at submissions door,
Take me Sir, i am Your whore.
by: chelle 6/8/05
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