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Male Submissive, 55
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Male Dominant, 37
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Male Dominant, 46, new york
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About jameshornsby
Based in Scunthorpe, living with my mum and dad. I am looking for places to stay over the week so I can pretend to family and friends that I am working. I apparently work for a large Indian company within the UK - but strangely enough, they have no record of me..... I must take this up with them! I will not tell you that I am living with mummy and daddy, instead I will pretend to own a very old property which I will tell you all the history about and also show you photos. I will pretend to own an estate agents which is actually owned by my uncle and I will also pretend to be a partner in a local nightclub - this is obviously a lie, although the actual real owner was really pleased to hear that I had sold his nighclub to a brewery for which my share was going to be £1.9 million. The owner was a little surprised to say the least, but im sure I can worm my way round him to give me the majority share of his business. With my proceeds from this nice mans club, I am going to buy myself a nice white Range Rover and a new Aston Martin - this will be an advantage if I meet someone with children, as I have a real problem stuffing them in the back of my red 2006 Hyundai Coupe registration Y77 JMH. I will obviously like to share my success and buy my victim a car aswell. I will also spend hours searching the internet for a new house in the area that my victim resides, she will obviously be invited to live with me. As my main business is in surveying I will tell you that I am a member of the RICS (business card to prove this fact) and will tell you all about the meetings I have attended with them. If you phone the RICS and check, they will never have heard of me. I obviously have spare time enough for another job and so I have decided to work undercover with the police within the horse racing industry (I have extensive experience in the industry) - I joined the police on the day I paid £70 for my badge off ebay and bought myself some police issue handcuffs. I like to try and make myself a little mysterious so I will tell you my mother is Spanish and I grew up there, I will also back this up by saying my Spanish passport is due for renewal - the truth obviously is totally different as my mother is a scunthorpe lass!....however I did go on holiday to Spain when I was a child. I have a friend who owns a racing stables and has done rather well for himself, so when possible I will take you on my friends private jet to one of his properties or his boat in Monaco - well, to be honest, I will discuss it with your children and get them all excited about going on holiday and then let them down on the day they are due to go by telling them that my friends mother is ill after a heart attack. The plus point is that I kept my promise to buy you a pretty dress for the expensive restaurant we would be visiting in Monaco, which is why I gave you £15 to buy one from ASDA - I imagine it would fit very nicely amongst the designer dresses of the rich, but as I said, no one bothers to get dressed up in Monaco! But no worries about the holiday - as you will still get a nice holiday when I take you and your family to New Zealand as already discussed.
I am also apparently accomplished in kick boxing, I was ranked 3rd in the UK - although I think I might be a litte out of practice as my ex girlfriend Givemyall managed to deck me when she found out I was a lying scumbag. Maybe my kickboxing lapsed when I took up playing pool , which I was obviously an expert in and managed to win a large 36 inch trophy the first time I ever played (how good am I). I also managed to fit in, playing as a professional footballer.... although I can not find any reference to my achievements.
I'm not really a very nice person although I will pretend to be. I like to act swauve and sophisticated and also like to give the impression I am an accomplished lover, however my small appendage will let me down drastically and as I have lost my anatomy book, I will have no idea how to find your clitoris...... but wam bam is my motto so no worries. My name is James Hornsby, I suggest you steer clear of me.
When you dump me (which you will), I will not be content to behave like an adult, I will find another place to stay, get that drunk I can hardly speak and then start phoning you up at strange times in the morning, waking your family and insulting you - I will also get my latest classy slapper to text you insults that were popular in the 1980's. Then I will return home to mummy and daddy at 10 Sandringham Crescent, Scunthorpe, DN17 2PJ (address supplied for all the other women who have been conned by me and maybe would like to know where I really live)....oh and sorry, its not that large white house I pretended to own - its a bunglaow :) Oh and I know I have pretended to own lots of things, one was a bed with a telly in (I will try to make you feel inadequate because you aren't as suave as me and own all the latest modcons) - actually yes ok, I lied again, I have a little telly sat on my dressing table, in my room, at my mummy and daddies house, where I sit and dream up my life of grandeur. |
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Ahhh a new week - I wonder what I can pretend to be now, I could go back to pretending to be Spanish and become a bullfighter, although im not much good at facing up to things, I remember one night when I was out with the ex and whilst I was at the bar, some man sat down next to my ex and he was all over her, it was obvious it was getting a little heated, so I did the manly thing.... and stayed at the bar watching my ex get rid of the man (who must have been twice her size), then when the coast was clear, I wandered back with a smile. When later on someone sent the annoying man out of the pub with blood pouring down his face, I put my smug look on and said that I had arranged it....which obviously I hadn't but I thought it sounded good. Maybe bullfighting would be a little too full on for me, I will have to think up something else |
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I got drunk the other night (again) and rang the ex up - she didn't recognise my number and she thought I was a woman, I really must work on sounding like a man. I sent her a message telling her not to contact me again and then I spent the night phoning her and slurring down the phone - I'm a real class act! |
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My ex girlfriend came to Scunthorpe yesterday - she went in the pub I told her was my local.... and guess what - its not, although unluckily for me, she did end up having a good laugh with the lads who are the regulars in the pub and a few of them had heard of me....I must have told one of them that I was an expert in judo because thats what they told my ex, she made sure they were given the correct information ..... apparently they are really looking forward to seeing me again! I of course was hiding behind my mums skirts!
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Who am I?....... comingtogetyou |
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I'm lonely and only have my bedroom mirror to talk to - will someone talk to me please? |
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I once put a cupboard door on for someone - it fell off
I once screwed a gate to a wall - it fell off
I have a very small dick......... here's hoping :)
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Today I am going to stroke my fake HND certificate and I might also gaze lovingly at my business cards which say I am a member of the RICS (obviously im not, but I like to fraudulantly represent official organisations) |
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Today I am hiding in my parents caravan at Primrose Valley, Filey. I am still all engrossed in my own self pity and have yet to face the people I have hurt - I am too busy licking my wounds and being a coward. But if you need to contact me and give me some sympathy then im available on 07849 001036 or 07428 474830 |
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I'm pretending to my friends and family to have a contract in Bristol, so its obvious that I have decided in my own sick mind that I will be running away there soon. I will be trolling websites looking for people I can stay with in Bristol. |
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Sorting my head out - in the pub |
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