Old profile: I am female. I am strong. I am eclectic. I am dominant in personality and submissive in soul. I am educated, stable and a life-long learner. I seek wisdom, understanding and love out of life. I have stood on my own two feet since I was a teen and don't need others to survive. Being with another is a partnership, regardless of the dynamic and the purpose is to create more united than either would achieve singularly.   

~Begin tirade about how to have a happy sub, Dom traits, "Sir" lip service, outhouses, poly and married men, in the exact reverse order. Hey, it's how the brain flowed this morn.

Evidently, my subtleties are adequate for some. Allow me to help. I am not interested in married men, under any circumstances at all. You have made your commitment, for better or for worse. Please don't ask me to be involved. I don't care if your wife knows. I don't care if she wants to participate. I don't care if you've been separated for years. I don't care if she's your slave and you are looking to add another. Please respect my boundaries of who I want to be involved with.

Now, with that being said, I'll clarify the poly question that has been coming up a lot. I am not seeking a poly relationship. I would like a one on one monogamous relationship with a dominant male.

However, as I look around, I have come to the conclusion that quality Dominants are much like outhouses. The good ones are taken and the rest of full of crap. Knowing that, I am somewhat flexible about considering a poly type relationship, but only under an authentic Dom. I would say that you know who you are, but there are too many impostors out there who 'top' but are not Dominants, they just think they are.

What I want is a loving, caring relationship with a Dominant man. I understand that relationships of that magnitude/true intensity do not happen over night. Therefore, I am also flexible with regards to getting to know someone. I am not flexible about being pushed into meeting anyone or calling you Sir just so you know I am capable. Personally, I think that is a load of crap. I am just as capable of using forms of address for authority figures as the next person, better even. However, for me to mean the words, they have to come from me, unforced.  Any other way is merely lip service. I think that the true, secure Doms make this distinction. I think that the insecure 'tops' grasp at straws due to their inadequacy in some aspect of their lives and need to feel important to feel good about themselves. They want to hear Sir, and they don't care if it is genuine or not. I have come into contact with several tops like this. They are easily revealed when a sub expresses her views (just as I have done) and they are belittled, ridiculed, and dismissed without genuine consideration.

People complain a lot about 'fakes' on here. Personally, they are not that difficult to pick out. Sure, you'll waste a few minutes talking to them, but I think it's worth it to weed those individuals out. Also, it is important to realize what characteristics you are willing to tolerate and what you are not. I have a serious aversion to arrogance. I have come across a Dom or two that meets most of my other criteria, but upon a phone conversation, their true colors shine through. While a Dom/sub relationship has a lot to do with meeting the needs of the Dom, it will NOT be successful if the needs of the sub are not met also. If the Dom does not put 'fuel' into the tank of his sub, no matter how skilled, intelligent, experienced, hot, or otherwise desirable he is, eventually the sub will run out of fuel and be unable to serve him to the fullest extent of her capacity. Men (sorry guys, brace yourselves for the generalization, though I'm sure I'll hear about it later) do not seem to understand that there is a wide variety of signs in their partner (vanilla and bdsm) that appear, showing them that their partner is running out of steam. If the signs to recognize can be learned, a Dom, man, boyfriend, whatever can take care of his partner enough so that her needs are met and she is fully capable of service. You wouldn't take a roadtrip without repairing your flat tire, yet many of you would expect your sub to continue pristine service while emotionally unsettled. I seek a man that is perceptive enough to realize that there is a fuel gauge and he has enough of his own life under control that he can keep my tank full. For that, I only offer him my everything. I don't know why people complicate life so much. It's really that simple. I'm sure I'll get emails about why the Dom has to fill up the sub first. Folks, that's just the way it is. It is the nature of things for the man to provide. The car will perform beautifully according to the fuel and maintenance provided it. So will a good sub. You just have to take the first step and make that investment of time and energy it takes to fuel her. There is nothing more satisfying than a truly happy sub at your feet, 100% focused on you and your needs because she has nothing left lacking on her end. It's beautiful. *sigh*