Jacques1000

Female Submissive, 26, London

Female Dominant, 49, Bristol

Female Submissive, 34, Lafayette, Louisiana

CEREBRAL Vs Corporeal This weekend has thrown up some new learnings but also a conundrum. Hoe does one reconcile the postion of scholar and gentleman with existence of a mammoth libido and gargantuan capacity for simply surrendering entirely to carnal desires. Self-discipline is crucially important and the recognition of this potential conflict and conundrum is a good think. It will force more reflexive thought on the nature of the Dom, but also on the frailty and fallibility of the human experience. It is unrealistic to expect to have all the answers here, just as it unrealistic to expect to have the answers in vanilla lie. Accommodation and acceptance would appear to be quintessential.

MESSAGE TO A BELLIGERENT DOM REGARDING HASSLING A SLAVE Hi there, I had unsolicited email in response to an board posting of mine. Rather than go into the details of the complaint I am simply going to address you parablically. Some people don't seem to realise that BDSM relationships are individually mediated and enacted. That is, what goes for one, is not necessarily for the other. So many Doms are simply sex fiends, in the pejorative sense of that term. Part of the beauty of mutual coalescence is a respect for boundaries, borders and each other. I don't believe someone should be castigated, criticised or humiliated for strongly held personal beliefs about their own personal preferences or safety. If for example, knife play is not their vin de jour, then hassling them about it is simply asinine and indicative of a bully. I hope your search is successful and that your respect and admiration for your slaves as people continues to burgeon. yours kindly

IN PRAISE OF THE INTELLECTUAL SUB I suspect empresschaos may have astutely identified one of the key points here. I have always found there has been a tendency for the relationship between a superior and a subordinate to be too easily dichotomised and too easily be made black and white. A fuzzy, speckly kind of discoloured gray is more my own experience. Therefore, I do not believe we should view the Master/Slave relationship unproblematically; as a neat little dyad. There is a degree of reciprocity and information sharing involved, and I believe both the Dom and the Sub negotiate this space in a kind courtship ritual that would make butterflies blush. It is far from one way traffic, in my case. For my part, I prefer some one who is extremely intelligent because I am stimulated and inspired by extremely intelligent and creative people. I encourage a sub to contribute fully to myriad of discussions. She acts as sounding board, catalyst and accelerant. Her playful machiavallian streaks might encourage me to devise and deploy new and delicious ways of foiling her. I like that challenge--the constant frisson with the onus on me to maintain the upperhand. At the this point it is a battle of wits. I have been 'out-thought' by some fiendshly clever subs, but I see this as being useful for my own fuller understanding and a chevron of my falliblity. And yes, secretly, I ocassionally eallyu enjoy being vanquished even if inevitably it does not detract from an ultimate assertion of will in some suitably rewarding way. The intelligent sub increases the pool of potentials. She also helps to ensure that her Master does not become jaded, formulaeic and complacent. I have also found that subs who enjoyed mock attempts at resistance and revolt and brought out the best in me tended to very clever. They appeal to a thinking man's greatest vanity--his intellect. There is a very fine line between inducement and accesssion, between following and being lead. I think a bright, vivacious sub is also more likely to keep her/his Master 'entertained'--that is mentally and physically enlivened. In a lot of ways, the roles are much more synergistic and symbiotic than crudely differentiated by power. Though there are disinequalities in power, there is no reason why this should be so intellectually ? Moreover, I do not expect a sub to be acquiescent, subserviant and deferential 24/7/365. I encourage and reward a fiesty sub where it is likely to strengthen and fuse the bond between us. If I wanted to talk about post-emancipatory Marxist discourse, Gauguin's Tahitian period, the cultural impact of The Smiths, or notions of gynocentricity in the writings of Adrienne Rich it is comforting to know that an intelligent sub could contribute to these discussions and further enchant me with her considerable knowledge in other areas. My education has been greatly enhanced my generous and sagacious partners. Of course, no one wants to be cerebral all the time and in those situations feigning it is just fine for me. However, it is nice to have the choice. I hope that has will be helpful to someone.

To ensure my own fulfilment I must commit myself to the fulfilment of others. +++++++++++++++++ My Dear xxxxx, Welcome to the wonderful world of collardom. A brief respite from the heady yet brackish waters of academe is always to be encouraged. You will be meant some utterly depraved, debaunched and utterly bacchanalian folk loitering in their dark and dingy halls, so watch out for people such as me. As you are probably papably aware, I am very inexperienced, not at all imaginative, and singularly unlikely to be quoting from Aristophanes or Thucydides as I spanked and splayed someone's plump and plasterable ass. From what I know of you, you need a strict disciplinarian with the intestinal fortitude and intellectual bravura to quell and quash your attempts at rebellion. To this end I have taken a touchingly quaint and avuncular interest in your welfare, both academically and sexually. In both quarters, my desire is not to be purposely involved, or personally present, but rather to offer you a sprig of friensdship that demands little of you except that you utilise your potential, don't get complacent and continue to burgeon. From our conversations elsewhere, you need a literary minx with similar proclivities to me to get you towards the apogee of physical and psychological pleasure. In this latter endeavour, I may of some use to you. Speaking personally, finding highly literate, deftly intellectual submissives is not an easy undertaking. I imagine the inverse is also depressingly true. If you would countenance someone from overseas, I have one or two 'associates' who might fit the bill. That is, if you are serious about this lifestyle and it is not merely a dalliance, you deserve the best--I may be able to help. I wish you well for your studies and know you will thrive and prosper. This my fervent Platon wish. a bientot.

I operate on a mutual pleasure basis . I get extreme pleasure from the pleasure a sub derives. For example, I have had a a friend in the past who love to have her clit spanked..or rather..flogged VERY hard. It is not part of my usual repertoire but the intense pleasure (multiple orgasm) she derived gave me much pleasure and it made her more subserviant to my own needs. Had she not asked for it and enjoyed it, I would have felt like i was brutalizing her.......I like to reconnoitre what a sub likes so I can use my full palette of creativity to give her pleasure. The administration of her pleasure gives me the most pleasure. Thus, I control her pleasure and mine consentually.

Okay, well to answer a few questions from the legions of the curious:? I'm not a seasoned veteran of this "lifestyle" by any stretch of the imagination but I have had considerable experiences, both in New Zealand and when I have been living overseas. The latter includes a stint in Asia and stints in Europe, and for a time I was very active in a scene within a large European city and learnt a tremendous amount about being a loving, tender and accomplished Master. That experience has been of incalculable value. I enjoy conversation with sanguine, sassy and clever people who will inveigle and inspire me with their rapier intellects as much as they can with their bodies. One-liners dissatisfy me and are unlikely to elicit responses. c'est claire :-P

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