i'll admit it i'm horny, best not porn porn ever...    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yEv_-rTFAms

There is no end to the capacity of the human heart to love, The same can be said for hate. We can get distracted by it But I always remind myself of the fact that love truly is the only answer. Just a reminder to myself to put that out into the universe more often. Cheers.

 okay generally not into porn but i love nina.. I love how smart she is...  and i want all these techniques known to any men or women! that get near to my tender bits so voila http://xhamster.com/movies/179038/nina_teaches_how_to_eat_pussy.html

I need another story,Something to get off my chest My life gets kinda boring, Need something that I can confess'Til all my sleeves are stained red, From all the truth that I've said Come by it honestly I swear, Thought you saw me wink, no
I've been on the brink, so, Tell me what you want to hear
Something that'll light those ears, I'm sick of all the insincere
So I'm gonna give all my secrets away This time, Don't need another perfect lie
Don't care if critics ever jump in line, I'm gonna give all my secrets away

 Another humorous entry today.  I tried strap on a few months ago and again a few weeks ago. I found i liked it , and i think i can kind of understand the male intent to " stick it into" things now. I can see why they can be come obsessed with it and with that urge hard wired im understanding even more why chastity turns me on so much.  just a peek into a mindset i thought i'd never understand and now i do though i cant  seem to communicate how well I do.  anyhow just my wandering mind.

okay what all did i do today, first i called the rosters for all the workshops of the day and documented each case what happened on the call then i took the sanction roster of over 200 names and matched each client with their case manager , then i went and got the mail opened it set it up for copies made the copies and documented it all in each case then i made copies of requests for fingerprint clearance cards, covered the front desk while doing all of that what covering the front desk entails , answering a five line phone signing customers in looking at their case and picking who they are seeing singing in and out who gets taken and when they leave overseeing the bathroom use sending people to the work shops as they come in overlooking their time sheets telling them what they need to fill out then making copies and whatever random documentation someone comes in with so do you think im a hard worker?

 You know what I don't consider a skill? Listening.. its not a skill its a requirement. Paying attention, many of self tilted submissive's everywhere claim to have this requirement. But in all actuality can't do it for the three minutes it takes them to wank off. This close to wiping anything  anything at all sexual  from my profile and making you work for it! wouldn't that be nice?

 Update ... 12/4/13  I thought i'd be completely and blatantly honest.  My hair gets greasy, I get body acne still at my age. i'm too soft in my middle and I have cellulite and stretch marks.  I blow my nose in the shower and fart.. But im real solid and living  domme.  At the same time i'm a Lady with real expectations and unexpected grace.  This is me if you can find a way to get to me .. do so you'll be rewarded. With a genuine WOMAN'S attention.

I need a woman in my life that's mine all mine.  Someone I can discipline but knows that she is cherished.  A Lot of my profile is about owning men so I decided to Put together what I think of owning women.  I am a sexist, i'd treat my girls better than my men . period.  My girls wouldn't sleep with my men though they'd likely be involved in a tease and denial scene. If i were to collar a full on lesbian then she'd just have to put up with the fact that I am fully pansexual. Gender plays no part in who I find attractive and desirable, BUT the energy transfer is what I seek yes I do seek a biological woman like myself but i'm not above transexuals or even asexuals. I would consider a woman with children just as I would consider a man with children. I would even consider a switch woman so long as she kept her Domme life out of our relationship (or if she wanted to do a dual scene with her pet).  I seek a strong woman for a wife handmaiden type role. Every person is an  individual so according to how the brain ticks is how I dominate, and then mould beyond it.

 someone asked me what my favorite forced bi situation was thought id post it for everyone ... trent reznor on jared leto hahaaha

 So i've thought about it and ive decided to write my particular opinions on the pros and cons to alpha and beta subs. How that personality type relates to me, and why although it can be a personality trait there is no such level in my household ideal. i'll try to do it orderly but forgive me if i go off on a tangent. I'll begin with the pros to alpha subs.

Pros about alpha subs, they give me a sense of many security I don't get from beta subs. Masculine men do make a woman feel good no matter how dominant. Say I was riding on a train I didn't have a bar to hold on to I could hang on and feel sure of myself by clinging to an alpha sub.  The con of a beta in that situation i'd feel more protective rather then protected. Switching to the cons of a  beta sub.  Generally they don't feel the need to be surly they just accept my moods and  ride the wave.  Of course the con of an alpha in that same situation is the reverse, they get cheeky make things more difficult... i had more points to make but life got in the way I'll write more later.

 So I have many topics to discuss but i'd rather take on a  blog roulette style  every month .. send me suggestions and ill do it debate style  try to do two different positions on a topic present my ideal on it OR if its something I don't support try to pick out the good or just rip it apart... inbox me suggestions!

 gotta love hulu muscular men beating the hell out of each other  yay ... Georges St-Pierre: Rush to UFC 167 if you hadn't guessed readers tonight is a night of crude thinking. I've also got ticking on the brain tonight what gives? light and dark as usual never can settle for just one side.

Dearest, Freaks and Geeks

Today i'll be droning on about my personal beliefs on poly fidelity. It's to me the closest box that I fit in. I'm actually going to start however with a little bit of personal history. Short and sweet and simple, i've only had intercourse with my up and coming ex husband. Yep i'm not a slut hot wife cunt or any other manner of dirty word you'd like to call me. I can still put the number of individuals Ive had kink and foreplay with to under twenty. So when I say i'm poly you can shut your mouth if the next words out of it will be some sort of other word for oh you are a slut who dosent know what monogamy means.

   I was monogamous with the exception of sadistic activity with my ex husband of many years. He is vanilla but I was dating my first submissive when we met so for years I limited my domme side to be equals husband and wife. I negotiated later on getting to do orgasm control as well as sadism outside our bed and he agreed. I think I lost my train of thought  veering back into the present. Now I am single, i'm finding a libido I never had while trapped in a vanilla marriage and i'm learning how to control it without ever hopping into bed with someone.

  If I can't control myself how could I expect to control someone else... another topic anyhow. When I call myself domme and poly I don't speak of hopping into bed with other people I speak of my partners being mongomus to me and my chosen and myself choosing who I am open with, there is NO primary.  I am the primary hands down. No husbands no one and only boyfriend or girlfriend. No one that has * rights* to my intimacy I make the choices all the time.

    I believe this world to be built on imperfection and because i'm not perfect there can be no perfect mate for me.  But the surrender of submission to me is the giving up of the right to seek others. There are of course there are other levels of submission and relationships with me such as play partners, plain friends etc subs pets slaves. Maybe hopefully what i just threw onto this page came across clearly.

 Sincerely, Kicking up my feet

hello freaks and geeks,

I'm going to start blogging semi regularly. Attempting to get my writing skills back to what they used to be, today's topic is a dream journal.

  Since I have exhaustive weeks and this week was particularly trying I decided to lay down for a late afternoon nap. Much to my own confusion I had a dream starring myself but It wasn't a side of me that I knew existed. Of course it was a fetish dream , though i'll share other dream content this is whats been on my mind. I was discussing the force me force me subs against the submission subs so I suppose I set myself up for this.

The Dream

 I had taken ownership of several subs we all had different relationship styles and all but one was male * of course they all had the faces of people on CM* Several that I interact with have the * forced * BI fetish.  Some will do it just to make their owner happy others because the power exchange involved. And others want to be forced. In this dream it was a variation on force I had one sub tied but had left him sexually alone in fact I'd taken off the chastity cage just for some airing out. I'd blindfolded and gagged him with some cloth so he could partially mumble and let out noises and he had been out of his cage for a little while so the instant erection had gone down some.

 It was then that i decided to do forced bi beginning with laying in such a way that he was distracted with my feet while another boy got into the bed and into a position like mine the way i was cuddling up to bound boy. Free boy is actually bisexual and has been denied it for months and months so I allow free boy to start kissing on bound boy like it was me at the same angle as I am.  Bound boy begins to recover his erection and I and free boy move together so I can eventually reach over and remove the blindfold. The I begin doing teases that could be confused as me I let free boy do it while I reach over and remove the blindfold letting bound boy take in the sight of another man working him over. bound boy jumps and loses some of his erection and instruct free boy to get more vigorous with the teases  while i remove bound boys gag. He is murmuring please please please. I motion for free boy to stop and i ask bound boy please what?  Bound boy cries out when free boy stops and he says he is afraid but that he likes it and just explaining it makes him soft again.  I let free boy tease bound boy to erection again then give them both kisses for a reward and the scene ends with both boys no-sexually cuddling each other and me petting them both non sexually.

To me that dream is force because bound boy wasn't warned ahead of time, Part of me likes it and part of me doesn't.  Because it is a dream I know its extreme unlikely to go that way in real life and I could risk having bound boy run away from me and scream molestation. it is what it is.

Signed, Currently hot and bothered!

 Random amusing thought of the day? enslaving a dentist.. im being lazy ill return messages tomorrow

 poetic to crass the many facets of me .. I need my toes sucked thoroughly ..

SONNET 130

My mistress' eyes are nothing like the sun;
Coral is far more red than her lips' red;
If snow be white, why then her breasts are dun;
If hairs be wires, black wires grow on her head.
I have seen roses damask'd, red and white,
But no such roses see I in her cheeks;
And in some perfumes is there more delight
Than in the breath that from my mistress reeks.
I love to hear her speak, yet well I know
That music hath a far more pleasing sound;
I grant I never saw a goddess go;
My mistress, when she walks, treads on the ground:
   And yet, by heaven, I think my love as rare
   As any she belied with false compare.

Sonnet 26

Lord of my love, to whom in vassalage
Thy merit hath my duty strongly knit,
To thee I send this written embassage,
To witness duty, not to show my wit:
Duty so great, which wit so poor as mine
May make seem bare, in wanting words to show it,
But that I hope some good conceit of thine
In thy soul's thought, all naked, will bestow it:
Till whatsoever star that guides my moving,
Points on me graciously with fair aspect,
And puts apparel on my tottered loving,
To show me worthy of thy sweet respect:
Then may I dare to boast how I do love thee;
Till then, not show my head where thou mayst prove me.

Lately been fighting my biological clock ticking.I wonder if thete are any sumissive fathers out there who already have children I met a few but they didsapeared before getting to know them. Sigh.

Sonnet 57 

Being your slave, what should I do but tend Upon the hours and times of your desire? I have no precious time at all to spend, Nor services to do, till you require. Nor dare I chide the world without end hour. Whilst I, my sovereign, watch the clock for you, Nor think the bitterness of absence sour When you have bid your servant once adieu. Nor dare I question with my jealous thought. Where you may be, or your affairs suppose, But, like a sad slave, stay and think of nought Save, where you are, how happy you make those. So true a fool is love that in your will, Though you do anything, he thinks no ill.

perfection to me

I am at a loss for words ... spent my time on another loser. CANNOT believe the liars.Seriously losing my hope for humanity.IF YOU ARE A MARRIED LIAR YOU WILL GET CAUGHT.

 It is going to be a stunning day tomorrow, i'm going hiking hell or high water. There won't be an hour in the day that it won't be beautiful. Today I'm thankful of living in Arizona and making it through the hellish summer was all worth it. Time to get out and do something!

  hey i've been busy  and ill and that will continue through the week so have some patience and i'll get back to you

http://www.3news.co.nz/Students-parody-performance-blurs-lines/tabid/423/articleID/311517/Default.aspx

                                          FUCK YEAH!

 Know what ...  go fuck yourself because you won't be getting it from me...  seriously I collar someone  there is  three days of time to spend and then RL takes me for a whirlwind and though we are  still in communication get no private time for about a week..  that dosent give you license To say  that i wont make time for you that im not committed .. what i expected was after i got caught up which was today that you'd fucking be there for me. I expected to spend the weeknd in bliss and continue on now that the mess was swept under the rug.. fuck your instant gratification! Put in the time or your  useless... and a waste of mine

 I don't generally  stay at home on Fridays except when I stay the whole weekend. I'm exhausted ill get to mails and actually putting up a profile later.  Six dogs i'm dog sitting will be my company this weekend, Two German shepherds , Two miniature pinshers  one of which is totally blind and a runt even for a mini. A Chihuahua Manchester terrier mix and a Chihuahua dachshund mix will be my company. Soo... show me up subs !  and karma ... I need some kudos right about now.  Goodnight.