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I don't come to this site much anymore.....I check in once a month at most. Right off the top you need to know: 1. I'm not open to Poly at all, 2. I'm not open to casual play at all, 3. I'm ONLY seeking a courtship leading to a serious D/s relationship.
Hi, if you're contacting me for the 1st time please kindly send a clear face pic, if your profile has no pic. I won't be interested in chatting if I don't have some basic sense of what you look like.
No profile + no pic = no interest. A decent amount of effort in making contact is expected.
To save time, these people need not contact me:
- polyamorous men
- married "Doms" (no exceptions)
- liars & shifty types / "players"
- those looking for "fun"/"no strings"
- smokers
- religious fanatics
Please be over 36 & under 47, single, attractive, very well-groomed, 5'9" or over, literate/educated/can spell, with integrity, & very financially stable. Please have a full life also, if this is your only social outlet then it likely won't work.
I need to stress this as many people contacting me are sending me form letters & lazy one-liners:
** Please read my entire profile if you have any interest in contacting me. **
About me....I'm a 40 yr old experienced, intelligent, sub female, single (never-married/no kids) seeking a single Dom (even if you aren't married you must not be involved in a relationship).
I strongly prefer someone local to Boston or relocateable. I'm not open to play "sessions"/casual at all. I take things slow leading to LTR only while dating & getting to know them vanilla-style (how else can you expect to build a relationship?) There are other women out there for casual if you want that.
I'm looking for a loving, honest, nurturing, & fun relationship with a nice, experienced Dom. D/s with the right man is a very intoxicating, intense, wonderful way to experience a relationship. People who are open, honest, thoughtful, mature and kind are the ones I get along with best. Despite my initial shyness, I am a nice person (despite the way this profile might come across to keep away the "players"). I am not submissive to every man I meet - only sub to someone I choose once trust is firmly established and it is clear that you have my best interests at heart and are as much a friend as Dom/boyfriend. Bottom line: I simply don't have the bandwidth - or naivete - to open my heart to everyone who shows a little kinky/sexual interest. Horny does not equal Dominant.
Compatibilty in a vanilla sense is critically important to me. The fun & intensity of bdsm is wonderful but we need to have some vanilla things in common besides just D/s in order to build a relationship. I want the best of both worlds. In return for a relationship, I can offer loyalty, submission, caring, bdsm exploration, love and companionship.
Outside of D/s I'm very independent, bright, and try to live a full life. I seek a Dom who is mature & secure enough who isn't threatened by a woman who thinks for herself. I'm not looking for a "guide" - I'm not a naive, young, docile girl looking for someone to protect me from the big, bad world. While I am submissive, I AM really looking for a loving partner - the yin to my yang, the dom to my sub - to compliment each other. I'm looking for a mutually rewarding relationship: supporting & bringing positive energy & happiness to each other.
If you are someone that demands a lot but doesn't put in the effort to match you would be very wise in passing me by. I have zero tolerance for games (please take this literally); life is hard enough without the doubt & drama of someone who leaves you wondering where you stand so it is simply something I do not allow to take hold in my life.
Relationships are intricate and Doms are human too - not perfect - and an ability to not rule with an iron fist or be selfish is absolutely necessary. Patience, intelligence, and emotional maturity will get you everywhere.
You are insightful enough to know that I won't hand over the reigns, so to speak, unless I think you are intelligent enough and trustworthy. You understand & accept the process a sub needs to go through to develop a true, strong bond with a Dom. Only time can tell with these so courtship is the name of the game.
I'm not looking for guys "trying out" D/s to see what it's like or someone looking for a "good time" after a divorce, etc. You get the picture.
You must know who you are, what you want and be able to clearly communicate this & other aspects about yourself to me if you want to start a dialogue in writing me.
* You must be willing, open, & ready for monogamous LTR. * If you aren't, then there is no point in talking for a date.
I am more than happy to make friends (not "friends w/ benefits") also. Genuine, quality people are always welcome in my life.
While relationships are fluid & meeting the right person is random I will ask & want to know if you have the life experience, clarity & wisdom to know what you seek and what you don't.
I've met enough guys that are good with a flogger but few who have the ability to truly care for a submissive in the non-physical ways. I have a lot to give to someone who can get inside my head (& heart) and make me feel safe to open up and explore in many ways.
I need the psychological aspects of bdsm as much as the physical aspects. I need a Dom who can take an active interest in my development as a sub on multiple levels and has the ability to communicate well verbally and in writing. Having 'sessions' with little connection or dpeth outside the physical simply is not an option with me.
I enjoy a wide range of D/s activities from mild to severe. I prefer a man who leans more towards micromanagment than not as the intensity that goes with that is what I am looking for. With the right man, the sky is pretty much the limit as far as how much I have to give emotionally and physically.
Please don't write if you don't feel some connection with multiple aspects of my profile. I've put some thought and effort into my profile so when writing please- tell me a bit about you, what you seek and what drew you to my profile/why you think we might be a good match. (1-liners & form letters will be deleted). A proper, polite introductory e-mail of more than 1 line to a potential sub letting her know what his interest is certainly something a good Dom should be able to handle with ease.
Have a nice day 
p.s. Yes, my picture is not perfect but then I haven't run across many perfect male specimens either. We all are dating in the real world. I have more pics (non-nude) if there is some potential for a real date.
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Kinda SKEEVY ......
Came across this randomly.....since his profile popped up on the home page.
This guy's profile has a 7/29/10 update saying his wife just passed away. But, his April & June 2010 journal entries show he is on the prowl for a woman. The timing implies he was looking for someone while still married/with her. I know there is a chance that conclusion is not accurate. I don't know how his wife died BUT, and it is a bigbut, if he was looking before she died then he was likely cheating. Plus, she died it seems in summer 2010 and the search is back on so soon? Skeevy.
I MAY be rushing to judgement but if you are wondering why you can't find someone that might be it. The whole thing just gave me a very sick feeling. |
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I love the chubby guys with double-chins who say in their personal ads "not into BBW's." I get a big kick out of that. Self-delusional much? |
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Not on this site much anymore. The quality people are needle in a haystack, at best, and this site has such a bad reputation.
I think everyone has issues, every person on the planet - I think it is just the human condition. However, experience of late leads me to believe a lot of people in the bdsm scene have prominent issues, sometimes more obvious than the issues demonstrated by vanilla people, and that maybe a portion of them seek out bdsm to feel better about themselves, to feel secure when they need a crutch. A lot of these D/s'ers use bdsm as a cover. These people are not mature, healthy, strong people.
I see a lot of self-deception. I see this especially with people in their profiles talking with such clarity about who they are what their purpose is and then in real life it's just a jumbled mess or an outright lie.
I see a lot overcompensation. I see rampant insecurity (in Doms & subs), I see deception. I see power-plays. I see bravado. I see low self-esteem.
I see, for example, Doms who seek a "discrete" relationship. The wife doesn't know and the husband/cheater is unhappy but he doesn't have the balls to tell her, doesn't have the resilience, strength & fortitude to work through the problems with the wife, and doesn't have the balls to get a divorce (common excuse: stay for the kids). And guys like this call themselves Doms?! Oh please!!!
20 years as a practicing bdsm'er and I'm just realizing how bad it is now.
That's my rant. |
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Sometimes someone sends you a sweet and thoughtful note for no reason except to say something nice. How such a little thing can brighten your day.
Nice to know there are sweet souls out there. :) |
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Got this lovely mail today: (unedited)
"your such a cunt with your age limitations what are you affraid?"
Let me point out the wonderfulness of this....
1. spelling/grammar mistakes
2. lazy 1-liner
3. 21 yr age difference
4. I make it clear in my profile that there's no point in contacting me over a certain age
5. no pic in his profile
oh, and last but not least
6. f*cking RUDE guy!!
I think this guy needs to read some books about making a good 1st impression or having manners.
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The well is running dry it seems.... |
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Another entry for the Loser Chronicles:
So yesterday a Dom e-mails me with this backhanded compliment - "At least you sound intelligent." (aka, insult).
Then he e-mails me today correcting my grammar. And his correction was completely wrong and I point it out. He refuses to admit he was wrong (big ego) even though I wrote back referencing the dictionary and how I did not misuse the English language.
This coming from a 59 yr old guy, with no pic in his one-sided profile where he gives no info about himself (no physical description, no mention of D/s experience) at all but says how he wants a sweet submissive who he can have his way with and begs for her "o," and whose ad explicitly asks women-at-large to move to Oregon to be with him. (No women in Oregon?)......Clueless.
Loser.
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I'm starting to think I could write a book with all the experiences I am accumulating. There's not enough to fill a book yet but I have a sneaking suspicion that there will be many more clueless folk crossing my path ..... ;-) |
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More good stuff for the Loser Chronicles:
So this guy e-mailed me like 6 months ago and we talked off & on. These are excerpts from his profile: "am an open book regarding my own needs - nothing to hide as well" "Be available and be real." Sounded like a good start.
We're both really busy people so we kept missing each other on IM so I suggested scheduling something many months ago when we were having trouble connecting.
6 months (!!) later he still would not:
1. set up a time to meet online & talk...even once (but he demands "be available")
2. Give me his phone #
3. Meet for a quick coffee. He lives 30 mins away but can't meet for an hour on a Saturday? (be available?? yeah, right)
4. Respond with more than 3 lines in any e-mail (that's an "open book?")
5. Respond to any specific questions with a direct reponse or tell me anything about himself except that he had a job and lived in a certain town. ("open book?")
He had the gall to call me "selfish" because I was finally firm about wanting to arrange a specific time to meet (online or in person) to talk after 6 months of back & forth -enough time-wasting already. He also was ticked that I wouldn't accept his 'selling his house' as an excuse for not being available for any kind of "Appointment" with me. (Duh, it's clear he was online quite a bit anyway). Is it really asking too much to meet once in 6 months, talk on the phone a couple of times, or pick a night to talk online? Apparently, he thinks people are selfish if they don't give in to his games and put up with his ridiculous stalling. UNREAL.
So had to finally block him...he was draining the life out of me. I've never, ever, ever come across a Dom of such inaction. Clearly, he had issues and his lack of action was a sign he was not ready to deal with someone. Would not be surprised in the least if he had a girlfriend (or wife) already, others I've talked to think it's extremely likely if someone is being that evasive.
Onward & upward!! Moving toward the light!! Negative, complicated people with issues can stay behind!
:) :) :) :) :) |
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Next chapter in the Loser Chronicles:
So this guy writes to me today. Excerpts included:
-------------------------------------------
Hello , "< insert real first name here>"',
Good afternoon. I hope this message finds you well and enjoying this glorious Sunday.
I am a 57 year old white professional male, 5'8" and 195#, in the best shape since I was in my early 20's. Care to test that? BOL Presently, I live in NY.
-------------------------------------------------------------
What's wrong with this one:
1. wayyyy older than I state I want in my profile - complete dealbreaker no matter what else is in the letter
2. not local
3. the "< insert real first name here>"- - what a nice personal touch
Maybe I should write my ads in Japanese or Swahili something. Maybe they would be better understood???
Update: this guy writes back after I tell him I'm not interested and says I did not fully read his letter to me. I write back saying I did read it fully & say again (in 36 pt font) "You're too old for me." If he was 47 I might say, "Ahhh, let me take a 2nd look" but he is 10 years over my age limit!! Sometimes you gotta hit them over the head with the obvious it seems. I guess explicitly stating an age limit clearly & boldly in my profile is interpreted as I have no age limit.
Still baffling....
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You meet a nice, normal man occassionally and it makes you forget for a while the innumerable clueless men out there..until you are back in the midst of the clueless guys....as I am currently.
I've had the great pleasure (sarcasm) of dealing with a few men recently who seem to be lacking in the CLUE area. Amazing to me how a man can go through life, get degrees, be married(!!), be a savvy businessman yet know SO very little about women, dating, relationships, psychology, etc. And I'm not talking about dim-witted gearheads here, I'm talking about bright, educated men. What's worse is the percentage of men who don't know themselves. Whether it be from mid-life crisis, Narcissism, stupidity or just not thinking...this stuff is important and it affects men's relationships with women.
Clue for the day: if a woman pulls back from you it's highly likely that it has something to do with *YOU* |
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I don't get it...guys who keep looking at your profile but have no intention of dealing with things in a straight way, with no games. My pictures on CM are quite ordinary...not sure why they keep coming back to view my profile. (Maybe they wait with wagging tongues for a journal update....lol). Strange...but then there are a lot of strange people on here. |
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Really Needing:
1. A reason to stay signed up on any fetish site (including this one).
2. A reason not to join a convent and swear off men forever.
Feel free to enlighten me because I just don't get it. (But don't write and tell me to stay for sex!)
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Another chapter in the Loser Chronicles:
So I had another guy contact me which turned out to be a complete waste of time. It took 7 (yes 7!) e-mails and repeated attempts by him before I finally had to be blunt and say, "no, I won't take you up on your offer to be your casual plaything while I wait for the perfect guy."
He actually said that I should be clearer in my profile that I am looking for a serious relationship. Are you kidding me?!!!!! My profile screams LTR/ no casual.
He says he's a college professor (& apparently quite high on himself) - you think the idiot could read between the lines and figure out that I'm not going to be another sub on his conveyor belt.
I seriously don't get it.
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A bit dismayed by the amount of one or two line e-mails I'm getting that just show no effort at all. Are these guys actually expecting a good response to that? Doms are supposed to be able to put a bit more effort in (IMHO) to attract a sub.
Baffled ................... |
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| Age: 24 |
| United Kingdom |
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