Collarspace.com

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implacable

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**no longer single. Some facts about me:
  • I've been in power exchange relationships most of my adult life.
  • I've never been involved in a 24/7 TPE type relationship.
  • For a long time I thought of myself as a top more than a dominant.
  • Pretense disgusts me. I'll under-sell myself rather than pose.
I don't have a lot of mandatory physical kinks. I like to spank. I like to tie. Other things. Those are fun. But I'd give any subset of them up, if there were other interesting things. Indeed, the last couple years (2009-2010) I was basically vanilla. I gave it all up. None of the physical stuff ended up being strictly necessary. One problem that arose in my vanilla relationships during that period was that I had become accustomed to control. I craved it. That's not good, because it has to be freely given. And so I decided the shadowed path was the right one for me.

Control and intensity are my twin requirements. Everything else is negotiable, though negotiation implies that some of the other stuff is coming along too. I don't enjoy faking disregard, making some forms of humiliation basically impossible. Whether or not emotional BDSM is on the menu really depends on what works for you.

The partner I seek respects (and loves!) herself, demands (and will receive!) respect from me, and has one of the following compositions:
  • Naturally submissive
  • Turned on by submission, but it must be taken
  • Masochistic, and willing to submit to get what she needs
I'm not a sadist. That is, I don't derive pleasure from inflicting pain. Pain can be the vehicle within which control is demonstrated, maintained, or acquired, and to that extent, I enjoy delivering it. Pain can be the means by which my partner achieves rapture, and I enjoy being the author of that. Also I don't mind suffering a little myself along the way; a scrap before the denouement only heightens my satisfaction in achieving control. Just understand there is no switch in me. It's not a hard limit; more of a constitutional impossibility. There is no word for surrender in my personal dictionary.

I'll cheerfully provide a real picture to anyone who wants to see one.. privately. Likewise, if you begin a conversation with me and your profile doesn't have a (face clearly visible) picture, I will want to see one before deciding whether to spend time talking to you. If you don't list your weight, I will also want to see your overall shape to ensure you're not obese. Being *a little* chubby is fine. I am too. Don't get all stressed over it. I think this is only reasonable. I'll want to know your first name, rather than referring to you as "hogtiemeandticklemytoesies" or whatever you picked as a handle. In exchange I'll give you my first name. Imagine that. If this is not okay with you, good luck on your journey, and no hard feelings. Finally, I only want to talk to you if you're interested in meeting in real life. You don't have to decide that *now*, but it must be in play. Internet-only friendships are stale and uninteresting.

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11/10/2009 10:46:57 PM
We begin by connecting like any two people do, though the undertone is already present.  Over weeks or months, we reach an accomodation:  there are things I won't ask of you, and words you won't utter.  The illusion of control becomes a fact, the doer is lost in the baroque patterns of doing.  The subject is done unto, but also takes part in the creation of the art.  Both parties sacrifice and even do a kind of worship in the ritual act we have in common.  Pretentious? Only if you don't believe.

12/5/2008 3:43:59 PM
Found a photo that's sufficiently anonymous. Naturally it isn't all that helpful, but some is better than none ;]

10/14/2008 6:15:54 PM
Decided to pull my photo after thinking some about the value of anonymity. I'll try to get something up soonish that is interesting but not so readily identifiable. Anybody who actually wants to see a picture of me is free to ask.. I ain't ashamed :]

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kiittyn
 
 Age: 23
 Nevada, Illinois