i'd like to share a this story with You. i hope this helps You get a better understanding if who i am..so i'm:
1) Writing about what I know
2) Giving You an example of how i've lived my life (what’s more personal than sharing a story of a life’s event?)
3) Proper behavior as a sub/slave
4) Why it is important for a slave to trust her Master
5) What does it mean to (not) give up control to someone? Share about how I feel when I give control over to another

I have been thinking about the difference between submissive and slave. A submissive gives up control, but has more of a say in when she does and does not and says in the relationship. When the Dom gives her a directive and she isn't comfortable in doing it, she has the choice to say no. However, a slave has no control in a situation. She is owned property that is to always obey. When a situation arises she may respectfully discuss and share her feelings with her Master and He makes the final decision. She then MUST abide by His decision without hesitation and when she does not, she is given a consequence.
I know what I want and need in a relationship. I need One who will give me directions, discipline and accept my service to Him. I need clear direction, firm goals, and consistent rules.
It has been many years since I’ve given up control to One; instead I have had to become self-reliant out of necessity. Yet I crave being controlled; being guided, being taught, and disciplined. I like knowing I am accountable to another person, .
i began thinking about when I first was introduced to the lifestyle.
Shortly after I met my first Master and began training with Him, I informed Him that I was going to Atlanta on a bus trip with friends. I informed Him I was going, not asked. The trip had been planned for many months, even before I had first spoken with Him and initially learned about this lifestyle. I was ignorant in knowing I was to ask permission to go.
He asked me from where we were leaving and how I was getting there and back (to the bus). I informed Him from where the bus was leaving, and I had a ride both ways. He told me He would take me and pick me up. I informed Him it was not necessary and that I had it arranged. He ordered me to call Him-often. He wanted me to call when I left, when we arrived, at least once per day, to give Him updates of the days’ events and when we left Atlanta and the approximate time of return back to Cleveland. He provided me with a phone card (cell phones were in existence then but quite expensive).
He then spoke to me about proper behavior of a slave…to ask permission and provide information with detail and not dismiss questions or orders. Even after this talk, I did not bother to ask Him permission or accept His offer for a ride.
I thought He was being overly controlling, even overbearing for wanting me to call so often and ignored His orders, dismissing it as not important.
I called Him the day we left to inform Him I was leaving. I did not call Him when we arrived nor did I call Him each of the 3 days. I did call Him the day we were leaving Atlanta; however, I neglected to tell Him we were leaving late and we were scheduled to arrive back in Cleveland 3 hours later than initially planned.
Due to an accident on the highway we arrived back in Cleveland almost 5 hours later than initially scheduled. It had been a very long weekend; I was tired, having gotten very little sleep on the trip.
As I stepped off the bus guess who was there? Master T., holding one single white rose. I was surprised to see Him. As I opened my mouth to say hello, He handed me the rose, and in one swift motion, He leaned forward, grabbed me at the nape of my neck snatched a handful of hair. He lustfully with fervor kissed me on the mouth, momentarily taking my breath away and then He leaned into my ear, tugging at my hair and whispered that I was in trouble. He released my hair, gave me a swat on the butt and nudged His head in the direction of the car.
My initial reaction was, “Uh-oh!” and realized the severity of not being consistent in calling Him as instructed.
I momentarily had forgotten I was in the midst of lots of people, my friends and acquaintances. Suddenly I felt overly self-conscious thinking they KNEW the type of relationship we had. I walked to the side of the bus, and grabbed my bag. He took my bag from my hand, momentarily giving my hand a squeeze. i secretly hoped that He meant it was OK, but knew that He was disappointed in me and my actions. Instinctively, as I had been trained, I followed Him to His car.
And as I was walked to His car I wondered why He was there? After all, I had told Him I had a ride home. And since I was in trouble, why would He want to see me at that moment?
He opened the passenger door and I got into the car. I still had not said a word. I did not know whether or not to say anything; neither did He.
Finally, after a number of minutes I broke the silence. I asked Him why He showed up there. He stated we would talk once we got back to my apartment. He was calm and controlled, despite His disappointment in me (which i just knew).
When we got inside my apartment I asked Him if He wanted something to drink. He did not say a word. Instead, He stood just inside the door, straight-faced, patiently waiting.
It took me a few minutes to figure out what He was expecting from me. i was always to meet Him at the door naked, on my knees with collar in hand, prepared to receive His collar. I scrambled to my room, grabbed the collar, stripped, and then dropped to my knees holding out the collar, head up, eyes lowered. He grabbed my face to look at His smile as He took the collar from my hands. i was confused. i didn't understand why He was smiling when i thought He was angry. i pulled my hair to the side as He placed the collar on my neck.
He grabbed me by my hair, put me down on my hands and knees and led me over to the couch, my hair as His leash.
He sat down on the couch and released my hair.
He quietly said He was disappointed in me for not obeying Him. my heart sank. For the first time on this trip i was disappointed in myself. i was afraid and i asked Him if He was angry. He told me no and then He asked me why i thought He had told me to call Him.
In an innocent reply i said i thought He was being overbearing. He shook His head and quietly said as my Master, He wanted what was best for me, in ALL areas of my life. It went far beyond my body. He stated that my safety and well-being were two areas of His concern now. He stated EVERY area of my life was His concern. And that as His slave i needed to give Him that control.
He then grabbed my hair pulled me up over His lap and began to spank me. Hard. Not as hard as He had spanked me in the past (even for pleasure); however, it hurt far more than ANY spanking He had ever given me. i began to cry. He told me to let go. It was a cathartic moment for me. I had a realization the magnitude of this punishment. i had been disobedient and He was showing me how He cared for me by punishing me; He was being consistent and true to His word in His expectation in showing Him my obedience. i also had an epiphany that i liked knowing i was going to be held accountable for my actions (or lack of).
When the punishment was over, He had me lay on the couch with my head in His lap and He softly brushed His fingers through my hair and He listened to me tell Him about the weekend.

I like this...

"Thy husband is thy lord, thy life, thy keeper, thy head, thy sovereign, one that cares for thee. And for thy maintenance commits his body to painful labour both by sea and land. To watch the night in storms, the day in cold, whilst thou liest warm at home, secure and safe, and craves no other tribute at thy hands but love, fair looks, and true obedience. Too little payment for so great a debt." The Taming of the Shrew, Act V, scene 2.*

What is Love?

Ten Ways to Love
1. LISTEN without interrupting. (Proverbs 18) 2. SPEAK without accusing. (James 1:19)  3. GIVE without sparing. (Proverbs 21:26) 4. PRAY without ceasing. (Colossians 1:9)  5. ANSWER without arguing. (Proverbs 17:1)  6. SHARE without pretending. (Ephesians 4:15)  7. ENJOY without complaint. (Philippians 2:14)  8. TRUST without wavering. (Corinthians 13:7)  9. FORGIVE without punishment. (Colossians 3:13)  10. PROMISE without forgetting. (Proverbs 13:12)

i found the Ten Ways list on a friend's FB page,  It inspired me to look online for the origin when i stumbled upon the verse from Corinthians.  

If only the world lived by these principals.  

Happy New Year E/everyone...May 2012 bring Y/you all the joy, happiness and love Y/you deserve...

*hugs*

If a person no longer wants to talk...why just stop communication?  Why not be man (or woman) enough to say, sorry, i am no longer interested...? 
i really DON'T get it!

i was able to resurrect this screen name.  Hello to A/all that know me ;-)