Tonight at 11:37 p.m. I will be 64. wasn't sure I'd make it lol. I intend to take some pics of my place this weekend & maybe post one or 2. I share my place with a couple of friends on here & they have mentioned liking to see it.

being able to call it mine totally now is a big thing to me. another milestone I suppose.  one less bill to pay lol. the money I took out of the bank to pay off will build back up quickly, as life goes on.

each year I gain in time, I cherish life more & more.  I know in myheart that I could live here alone the rest of my days & be happy .  like the otis redding song says I've got dreams to remember. sometimes I wonder if I truly want to venture out & take on another slave.

I had been alone 8 yr then met James. that was sweet but then he died. then I met B. that was a big mistake. he doesn't even know what he is. poor soul. to be lost between sub, switch & dom.  truly he is a sub. but his familiar upbringing keeps getting in the way. perhaps someday he will find happiness.

during my 8 yr solitude , I flourished. I enjoyed life . did what I wanted when I wanted & had no worries then for some reason I decided I was tired of being alone. now I am thinking about all that again & remembering what happened when I did venture forth. I think I need to weigh the aspects & go from there.

I really like the woods up here. so peaceful.  quiet.  the many birds.  altho' there r plenty of birds in La. there r some here I had never seen B4. other than at the zoo birdhouse. or in books.

having outed my house & place I feel somehow better. I no longer have to worry about my place.  I HAD used a picture of a friend's flower shed as " being my home  " in order to get rid of wanna Bs LOL..worked pretty good LOL..can't do that anymore, just have to block them lol..altho' I do hate doing that unless they r vulgar . 

I am prideful of my little place. But having the death of James & since the divorce ,  then having had to pay him his 1/4 of the value which was all he'd helped pay for lol , I feel that it is time something good happen.

so today I went down & paid off my mortgage completely & so it's all mine.  no more problems. except being alone. but this site will remedy that I am sure of it.  

My little 6 room house on the 20 acres might not be empty much longer.  would be nice to have someone here for the winter.

I have 2 trees down in the holler picked out already to tie him to. beautiful view of the creek,  nothing but trees all around . it will be the perfect place that we have talked about already.

I am ready for someone real. 

 Thursday June 27th,at 11:37 p.m. I will turn 64.  yet another milestone .  here's hoping next year will be better than this one. but I take what I can get in time. Life is so fragile. the ONE thing in the world WE ALL TAKE FOR GRANTED , ( ALL WALKS OF LIFE DO ) .

I have been present so many times when death came. seems I should know him by his first name. held the hand of both those who were terrified, & those who were ready . I know when it comes my time I will be ready. I have done NOTHING I am ashamed of in my life. I have given my all & taken what was given. I have no regrets. I am at peace with myself. so few can say that.  I am HAPPY with who, what & where I am in my life .

finally someone real !.  so refreshing to talk to him, share with him.  we seem to both agree on so much.  no vulgarity, nice masculine voice.  gives all the right responses, can not catch him off guard. therefore I see him as genuine.

there r sooo many on here who just want to chat about  ...well do u do thid or do u do that, or do u wear this or that ?

there is nothing that can be done to a human being that has not been already done. if u r into BDSM the same goes for us. I can do nothing to u that u more than likely have not been done before.

it is more in the WAY things r done to one that cause that spark, that knowing that this is the place for u. this is the Mistress u should belong to. & pray she collars u. if u r not old enough to have figured that out then I dont need nor want u.

if u r into the clothing . then I say u r into role playing period.

if u think that u should be turned on in order to service ur MISTRESS, then u r NOT A SLAVE. the turn on for u should be the pure chance of being allowed to service ur MISTRESS. plain & simple. ANY  desire she might have u should strive to fullfill & to the best of ur ability.

do not get me wrong. I am not saying there r no desires & feeling between a MISTRESS & slave. there should be. their bond should be stronger than life itself. I have never had a slave that did not love me & my ways. THAT DID NOT CRAVE JUST THE SIGHT OF ME. THE MERE TOUCH OF A HAND ON IT'S HEAD. & I IN RETURN CHERISHED THE ADORATION IT SHOWERED ON ME.  nor have I not loved any slave I have had. each of us in our own ways share that common thread thru life. the need for companionshio. the older we get the stronger it is.  or at least that is how I see life.

never depend too much on anyone in the world.

even ur shadow leaves u when u r in the darkness.

sometimes, I just wish that everyone had the mindset that I have, so that I could just pick from the pictures someone to converse with. but alas, most of the subs r younger pups & wanna bee's.  that have no clue about the bond between a Mistress & slave. 

one interview night  & they r in love. yeah right lol. it doesnt work like that in the vanilla world much less this one. 

I want the bond that I have had before , mental, strong, healthy, safe. where u both KNOW what horizons u want to venture forth into, & exactly what limits to push. seems these pups have no limits, until the riding crop comes out. or the ass becomes feverish & red. or worse yet , they think that a Mistress is going to allow them to top her. unreal.  WAY TOO MUCH ROLE PLAYING GOING ON & NOT ENOUGH REAL LIFE.

trying to catch up on rest lol. new week starts tomorrow. for all of us. many will be working, I am fortunate enough not to have to work but one day a week.  but then when winter comes, I will be busy. I like my work. I like living here, the people r much likecity folk, they dont want to know u lol..been here since 2003, dont even know my neighbors. 

I go to town when I work,. then do my running around, bills etc, then back to the hilltop & my peace. the nearest large town to my place IS Yellville. 3,000 people, but I dont know where they r lol.

I live vanilla except for the police dept. one policeman knows my story, just to cover my ass.  should always keep it covered lol . especially in this lifestyle.

time to feed the mare.  I live such a peaceful life.  but right now it is boring becaue I am alone. hopefully that will be remedied soon.

so many nice people on here . I am actually enjoying the site this time. I dropped off B4 becuase seEmed all I got was wanna bee's & noone wanted to meet.

I dont want to message for years. I want to meet someone to have fun with & preferably enjoy a little kink.

 there actually seems to be a community here now.