TERMS FOR THOSE WHO NEED THEM!!!! The GAME PLAYERS

*** 24/7: A relationship in which protocols are in place continuously.

*** Abrasion: Using something rough, such as sandpaper.

*** Aftercare: The time after a BDSM scene or play session in which the participants calm down, discuss the previous events and their personal reactions to them and slowly come back in touch with reality. BDSM often involves an endorphin high and very intense experience and failure to engage in proper aftercare can lead to subdrop.

*** Anal torture: The BDSM practice of inflicting pain on the anus.

*** Bad pain: pain which is outside hard limits, non-mutual or non-valued, not wished for and of limited or no value.

*** Bottom: submissive or one who gives up control or receives physical sensation from a Top.

*** Breath Control: The Dom controls the sub's breathing.

*** Butt plug: much like a dildo, only shaped slightly differently.

*** Chastity: a form of erotic sexual denial or orgasm denial whereby a person is prevented from access to or stimulation of their genitals. Usually,not always by means of a device (called a chastity belt or sometimes for men a cock cage) that prevents contact and is controlled by means of a lock by the partner.

*** CBT: Cock and ball torture

*** Cock slap: the act of hitting or slapping a partner with the penis.

*** Collared: submissive who is owned in a loving intimate relationship.

*** Consent: mutual agreement to the terms of a scene or ongoing BDSM relationship.

*** Consensual non-consensuality: mutual agreement that within defined limits or subject to a safe word or other restrictions and common sense, consent will be given as read without foreknowledge of the exact actions planned. It is a show of trust and understanding and usually undertaken only by partners who know each other well or agree to set clear safe limits on their activities.

*** DM: Dungeon Monitor, a person who volunteers to supervise the interactions between participants at a play party to ensure their safety.

*** Dom: Man who takes control (Dominant)

*** Domme: Female who takes control (Dominatrix)

*** Donkey punch: hitting or slapping a partner with the penis, also the act of punching or abusing a partner during an orgasm.

*** Dungeon: a room or area with BDSM equipment and play space

*** Edgeplay: SM play which pushes the limits of the persons involved. This can be particularly dangerous activities such as fire, electricity or cutting, but often isn't dangerous at all.

*** Endorphin rush: chemicals responsible for the "high" people often get from activities such as sex and is the body's response to heightened or intense experiences of certain kinds.

*** Erotic sexual denial: keeping another person aroused while delaying or preventing resolution of the feelings, to keep them in a continual state of anticipatory tension and inner conflict and heightened sensitivity.

*** Fetish: specific obsession or delight in one object or experience.

*** Fire play: using flammable liquids to create quick, fleeting instances of flame on the skin of the bottom. Risk of injury is increased and the Top should be learned with fire play skills.

*** Genitorture: torture of the genitals

*** Good pain: pain that is mutually agreed, desired or permitted by the submissive partner to be experienced and seen by them as of enjoyment or value.

*** Golden showers: urinating on or being urinated on by another person.

*** Gunplay: practice of actual or simulated firearms into a scene.

*** Handkerchief codes: visible signs to indicate to others your area of BDSM interest

*** Hard limits: what someone absolutely will not do, usually non-negotiable.

*** Impact play: part of sensation play, dealing with impact such as whips, belts, riding crops, paddles, floggers, hand spanking/smacking/slapping, etc.

*** Knife play: slow, methodical sensation of the bottom with the edges and points of knives, usually without cutting the skin. Fear of the weapon plays a large part in the stimulus of the bottom.

*** Limits: what someone won't do or is hesitant to do

*** Masochism: act of receiving pain for sensual/sexual pleasure.

*** Masochist: person who enjoys pain.

*** Meat slap: hitting or slapping a partner with the penis (aka mollywop or molliwop).

*** Munch: group of people that are into BDSM meeting at a vanilla place. You might see an announcement like, "This weekend's munch is at Denny's"

*** Needle play: temporary piercings done with sterile needles of varying gauges, usually only for the duration of a scene.

*** OTK: Over the knee (spanking).

*** Painslut: person who enjoys receiving a heavy degree of pain.

*** Play party: A BDSM event involving many people engaging in Scenes.

*** Rape fantasy: pleasurable fantasy of inflicting or being a victim to an act of consensual play-rape.

*** Sadism: act of inflicting pain.

*** Sadist: person who enjoys inflicting pain.

*** Safeword - When a participant utters a safeword, BDSM activity stops.

*** Scene: time period of BDSM activities.

*** Sensation play: BDSM play where the intent is to push people's sensory limits.

*** Soft Limits: something that someone is hesitant to do or nervous to try. They can sometimes be talked into the activity or preferably it may be negotiated at a trial or beginner level into a scene.

*** Subdrop: physical condition, often with cold or flu-like symptoms, experienced by a submissive after an intense session of BDSM play. This can last for as long as a week, and is best prevented by aftercare immediately after the session.

*** Submissive: or "sub" for short. Person that gives up control either all the time or only during a scene

*** Subspace: a "natural high" that a sub gets during a scene or when being controlled. The sub may feel disconnected from time, space, and/or their body and may have limited ability to communicate. It is critical that a Dom(me) be aware of their sub's wellbeing if they are in subspace.

*** Switch: Someone who likes being both Dominant and Submissive, either in one scene or on different occasions.

*** Tease and denial: keeping another person aroused while delaying or preventing resolution of the feelings, to keep them in a continual state of anticipatory tension and inner conflict and heightened sensitivity.

*** Top: dominant person either all the time or only during a scene.

*** Topping from the bottom: submissive who nonetheless wants to direct the top.

*** Training: ongoing effort of the Dom/me teaching the sub how to act. Can either be a playful thing or a serious thing depending on the couple.

*** Vanilla: Someone who is not in the lifestyle.

*** Wannabe: Someone who thinks or claims to be knowledgeable about BDSM, but is not. Especially prevalent with new Doms.

*** WIITWD: what it is that we do. A broad term referring to all forms of alternative sexuality.

*** Wax play: dom drips hot wax on the sub.


NOW DOES THAT  HELP ELIMATE THE PLAYERS AND NOT THE REAL ONES??? I HOPE SO!!