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Relationships are co-created.
There, I said it. Being the dominant is a lot of responsibility, and I take that seriously, but I want someone who is an active participant in the creation of the Ds dynamic.
Im not here to tick boxes or do specific actions. I decide what to do based on how it affects you, and for that I need someone who can be open and willing to talk and to construct new meaning, even knowing that this will let my control enter their heart and mind.

Well, for the more direct physical stuff I read reactions of course, but the deeper connection and the deeper Ds dynamics require people to talk openly, understand each other, to understand how the other contextualizes their experiences.

I understand that that is scary to some people. If thats not you, move along, no harm done. I understand that it takes a lot of trust and quite a bit of courage to let someone in, and even more to actively help them defeat your mental defenses and let them hold your beating heart in their hand.

For me though, thats the state of relationship I want. It takes time, energy, commitment and integrity, and Im ready to put in all of them. Its a serious responsibility but the payoff is overwhelming entwined submission, personal growth, and healing.


So, to summarise I want a relationship in which I will use not just your submission and masochism to inflict not just physical pain for physical release, but emotional pain for emotional re-balance.

About me
- I know vast amounts about the world. I consume and digest non-fiction on a wide variety of fronts history, psychology, political and economic systems, education (and educational researchdevelopmentsmethods), writing and story structure are my current focus, but I have more.

- I originally trained as a materials scientist, became a plasma physicist, and then gave that up. I retain a wealth of expertise related to all things physics and chemistry, plus a tonne of math, programming et cetera. I use it for trivia and for wacky hijinks when writing fiction.

- My experience with the world is incredibly in-depth in some areas, incredibly light in others. Always looking to learn more, though.

- Ive been diagnosed with a mental illness. It consumed a lot of my life until most of the way through last year, when I finally managed to work out a robust decision-making framework so that I could rapidly reconfigure and change many coping mechanisms in days or even hours as needed, and got a lot of my life back.

- Speaking of recovering from mental illness, I got super fat back then, and although Im losing weight as surely and rapidly as possible while keeping healthy, its gonna be a while before Im in good shape again.

- Very friendly! I love talking to people almost as much as I love listening to them. Send me a message if youre interested, I dont bite.

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Ilostmyhalo
 
 Age: 40
 Mobile, Alabama