HisPleazur

Dominant Couple, 32

Male Switch, 51

Female Submissive, 29, Dallas, Texas

Sir and I watched a ...um...movie, yea that's it, together last night. Actually it was porn, and now it's time to reflect on many things associated with last night. I believe this is going to be a somewhat lengthy entry, so here goes...it all starts with the first step.  It was 1 woman who was there with 5 men...gangbang.  When I put myself in the female's role in the movie, I can't lie, I love it. Here she has 5 men that can't wait for her to do anything with their erect members. She's constantly sucking, or having other orifices used, to put it politely. Sir and I have had this discussion before. Would I like to do something like this? I say, yes, I would, but there are some things that I need to go along with it. One is that Master doesn't leave my 'side', always by me as I'm being 'used' by others. I wish nothing more than to make my Master proud of me, and hoping this would bring Him great pleasure as well.  There was a problem, if you must, with the movie...there was one gentleman that was having difficulties maintaining an erection.  Sir asked me to reflect on that aspect as well.  I would just cry if that was to happen to me in the same situation. Of course the difference between me, and the woman in the movie would be emotion...she's there to do an 'act', and while I might be too, there is great emotion involved on my end. I would feel as if it was my fault, and I would bring disappointment to my Master, and...shame. That would be the worst!! It was an enlightening experience to watch and talk about it together...and Sir had a really good time  ;).  Thank You Sir.

New assignment. I got up this morning, and I have to say out loud to myself, that I am Master's beautiful cum slut.  Though the words flow fairly easily from my lips, it's the beautiful part that tends to 'get' to me. Though I don't feel as if I'm 'bow wow' ugly mind you, it's just difficult to use beautiful when I speak about myself.  Do I wish I was drop dead gorgeous? Sure, why not? Who wouldn't?  Though I suppose even then, I'd still have difficulties with 'beautiful'.  I am very thankful that Sir wishes me to address myself in this manner, truly thankful..Thank You Sir.  It will take some 'getting use to' I suppose.

Sir has come up with a new daily assignment for me. No matter where I am, what I am doing, I am to stop at noon, text Him the words "I am Your submissive girl". For one, it keeps Sir fresh in my mind, and it's nice in the hustle and bustle of the world to stop for a moment, and reaffirm in writing things.  Kudos Sir for an excellent assignment in this sub's option. *smiles*

What is the nature of my relationship with my Master, and what I hope to gain from it..thank You Sir, couldn't be an easy one like what is my favorite color or something like that.  *smiles sweetly* Sir is a wonderful man that brings me to the inner most being of my soul...submission.  He takes my hand, standing beside me, and yes, sometimes pulling or pushing me, but leads me into this place called submission. It's not something you learn, I believe, it's something that you were born with, deep inside.  Sadly, I believe there are people out there that have submission or Domination inside them, and because of societal pressures per say, of what is 'normal' or not, never get the chance to truly experience these things. I'm very fortunate to not fall in this category. I place my total being in Sir's hands, and trust Him to lead me where He feels I need to be. Yes, pushing limits can be a frightening experience sometimes, but He's there with me, and I know all will be alright.  I hope to gain even more insight into my submission, to better myself as a whole person.  Thank You Sir, for simply being who You are.

My Master is encouraging me to open up more.  About one of the only things I know to journal about are 'soap box' things that tend to occupy space in your mind. I don't particularly want to jump on a soap box and preach, because heavens knows I have a few of those, and when I get going...sometimes it's difficult to stop.  I could also talk about inner most things, which is what I believe I'm suppose to be doing here. Baby steps I suppose is the only way to get started in the right direction. This being step 2, looks like I'm on my way *smiles softly*

Alright, I'm working on getting my journal started up, as I have been instructed to do.

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