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| I live with and serve my Sir full time along with being owned and serving Master's home as well.
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Dress up Wednesday II
Here is another picture of my attire today i wasn't sure if this was to be regular so i felt i should simply set forth and do it. I understand that yes the look i had chosen was rather conservative and that in my thinking it was so far removed from the feelings that i harbor inside it was scandalous. ((smirk)) While i stood in front of my clothes looking and trying to pick out something you'd like, i found that most of it was black and more suited for a night on the town rather than a day in the home tidying up or doing errands. So i looked at this and that and all the while i pulled and twisted and paid attention to my nipples like you do and thought of you doing it ... i must say that i am now left feeling quite plump and puffy and slick down there yet again. ((smiles)) I hope this brings a smile to your face and i hope your day is wonderful...... till next n |
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Strapped
Will you ask again for a strapping? Yes. Why? Because I need to sometimes. Do you think you might get the same? Possibly … if He wants to. It truly is all about Him you know. But He’ll watch out and be sharp and in the end He’ll shape me all back up again. ((smirks)) I now know that I can go there. That scrambled place where you don’t know what the f**ks going on. Your just going to stay still … it’s as easy as that. ((smirk)) “Stay still.” Your mind thinks. Some times I feel so molested. Some people bring the meaning to the word of younger or innocent folk and I’m neither . I just like the word. ((smirk)) The next minute another part of your body is screaming out with some sort of new pain. Your mind once again screams out in reaction but you still hold fast and steady yourself once again. The tears flow the snot inevitably does and yes of course “for me anyways” my most traitorous possession follows suit with its own snot like secretions. ((smirk)) I won’t even begin to talk about all the things that happened over the weekend with out other peoples permissions. But let me say this, it truly was a wonderful time. Thank you everyone …….. till next Dear Journal …. n |
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Woodland Fairies
n : i have to confess something to you Master D : yes ?? n : i made myself cum while i was in the tub today D : hmmm... n : i realy needed to, not that that maters D : and how do you think I should deal with that ?? n : i wouldn't even have the slightest idea Master.... i'm sorry. D : still didn't answer the question.... does your slave mind think I should allow that ? n : no Master. Its not a perfect world though is it desperate need taken into hand by oneself n : i just started thinking about you making up stuff that you could say to me and got way carried away D : Lets see..... the slavegirl wants to be controlled, so she doesn't think she should play with herself.... n : ((lowers her head)) D : yet she doesn't like take well to punishment either.... n : i don't want to disappoint you i just get frustrated with the idea that i can't simply come to you in time of need and that then overrides urges sometimes .... i truly am sorry D : ::stokes her hair:: n: i know it can be read as simply an excuse D : understandable...Your being hot and bothered isn't disappointing D : is the camera working? n: yes Master D : Good....You can go outside and take me a couple of nice naked fairy pics out in the woods, then write me a paragraph about playing with yourself in the tub.... n: now? D : no, lets wait till its cold and dark out D : yes, now, I'll likely still be here when you're done n: yes Master blogspot dragonsnicole
“ouch” was all she said and he looked up from what he was doing to listen closer. She was supposed to be taking a simple bath to freshen up before bed time. He likes her that way smelling like she was just plucked from the forest like a little wandering fairy.
Earlier in the day she was told to go and find proof of the supposed fairies she tells him about while he stokes her at night. He wonders now if she was perhaps jabbed with a briar and now the sudden ouch reveals a remnant thorn or two.
He gets up and goes into were she is now taking her bath and asks her why she said ouch. She lowers her head in shame remembering how she told him in a matter of fact tone that “the fairies don’t like to go near the sharp pokey things.” Those words alone bring a coy smile to his lips and he remembers the first time he showed and made her touch his own sharp pokey thing.
She’s so little, he thinks. She always tries to please me and the things she does to bring a smile to my face is outrageously delightful at times. I think I’ll toy with her a bit.
“So”, he says. What was the ouch for? Oh nothing…. I was making up a new song that goes “Ouch goes the weasel.” She blushes furiously knowing full well that he isn’t buying this tale at all. Ok …. Let me ask you this again and this time you can answer with the truth … hmm? “Yes I’ll do that for you” she says. He’s always taken back slightly in the way her tone drops to such a tender whisper when he questions her. What was the ouch for?
With out looking up she holds up her hand to reveal a thorn sticking out from her index finger. “Hmm …. That looks like its stuck in there pretty good.” He says as he leans forward to examine it closer. “Does it realy hurt much?” He asks and the coy smile reveals itself again. “Now it doesn’t but when I was trying……” And she lets the end of the sentence slip away into the soft hushed whisper. “Hmm?” he quiries again. Finish your sentence n … Now. She suddenly whispers to him “ I was trying to calm down the fairies in my tummy, I think they came back with me from the woods and are tickeling me inside to much now. “I tried to make em stop but the thorn won’t let me” and she then holds up her finger again. So I deftly plucked the thorn from her finger and looked it over and seeing that it was fine said “There all better.”
“Now, tell me how you were going to calm down them fairies n?” “Were you just going to take it upon yourself to pry them out? “Hmm?” “Did you think that the fairies would listen to you?” “You know that only I can make the fairies come out don’t you?” “And you also know that if you tell me about them I would take care of things and make it all better for you , don’t I?” She loves the way the words dance in her head and makes the fairies erupt into a wonderful fanciful dance inside her. “Can you please make the fairies stop dancing Master …. Please can you?” She once again looks down into the water in embarrassment as the fairies dance picks up in pace. “Yes I can do that my sweet n.”
He climbs into the hot soothing water with her and settles in behind her and moves her onto her lap so he can control her a little better. He whispers in her ear to open her legs for him and show him where it feels good for her to rub herself. She lets out a quick little sigh and raises her ass out of the water feeling her upper body push up and lean against his chest and blushing furiously again sweeps her hand over the top of her cunny and whispers “heeere.” “Ahhh” He says and wastes no time. He grabs both her wrists and forces her hands behind her back and holds them there for the up coming play time. “My little toy …. My precious little toy with the throbbing button.” “You never get enough do you?” “Your always at the ready with your throbbing and dancing fairies and your insistant wanton need.” “You going to show me what a good girl you can be for me?” “Yes” she whispers, pressing her lips up against his ear. “Oh yes, please just make the fairies stop, please show me how you do it, please. She always gets a little frantic in the beginning, cause she never realy knows if I will in fact settle her down completely. Arms cramp you know and then well sometimes it just becomes a chore and well … he doesn’t much like chores he tells her with a wink and that coy smile of his.
“Close your legs up nice and tight and show me how you can ride my hand like a good girl.” “You gonna cum for me and get all slick and ready for me so I can fuck you like a dog.” “You’d like that wouldn’t you?” “I bet if I bit you you might even like it even better, feel like a real little dog in heat…. My own little bitch you’d be.” “Look at you, panting and sighing riding my hand, you have no self control at all do you?” “You like being my puppet, hmm? My very own little play thing.. for my whim for my joy…. You gonna cum for me and be a good girl… or you gonna make me work?……. |
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First dress up Wednesday
This morning was nice dressing up for you like that, its the start of a great day with a strong sense of pride for me .... Thank you for that Master ....... n dragonsnicole blogspot |
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Hello again Dear Journal
I’ve just come inside from doing a little sun tanning. The weather has been so beautiful these days and it looks like fall and winter are just around the corner. This morning I was told to iron several shirts for Sir for his work week and I did some billing. I went to the gym and my knee isn’t totally co operating with me still. Its not swelling and I’m not in any real discomfort but there is just enough something ((odd feeling)) there when I jog to make me hesitate. It really pisses me off because I really really like to jog, in fact I actually love it. I’ve talked to both Sir and Master about this and their keeping a steady eye on it and me. So I shall not worry or fret unduly about it. My personal growth I feel is a never ending process with a mirage of ups and downs of thoughts and actions. I’ve learned so many things about myself in so many different areas and I’ve promised to try to learn how to put feelings and moods to words. I can think all day long about different topics and mull this and that over but unfortunately for now I’m at a loss when it comes to typing them out. Sir and Master have been keeping me in a slave / servant sort of mode quite nicely and the other day my mind went on a melt down having to do with self doubt. I don’t know if it was the constant day to day true atmosphere of nothing but servitude and then it not ending ((which to me it doesn’t end in my mind)) when I was over at Master but for most of the day I had to stop and talk to Master about my thoughts and really hear his guiding words. It was a very intense feeling sort of day and I’ve learned so much from it. Both Sir and Master are very good at hearing me out and I always look forward to their words of wisdom and guidance and I’m once again very greatful for my life and journey. How they put up with me …… I’ll never know. Till next Dear Journal ….n |
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Refreshing Surprise
Friday looked to be the start of a busy weekend for me. i listed all the things that needed to be done in the house before i left to go down to my other home and was really anxious and excited to getting started. There was the usual laundry and some light cleaning and dinner wasn't really discussed at that time. Sir and i ended up meeting up at the gym later in the day being that he had some errands to do that he see's to. Later in the day when he arrived home he surprised me with two fresh loaves of bread. While at the gym we were talking to a town neighbor and she told us of a woman that sold fresh bread over at the farmers market. MMmm one was a multi grain and the other was a pesto sort. Sir told me that i was to pick one to bring over to Master Calvin's, so i chose the pesto and it was really good. Thank you Sir. ((smiles)) The one thing that Sir hadn't anticipated was me not eating dinner with him that night and since we hadn't discussed it i assumed that i was going to eat with Master Calvin and june. I know i should never assume about this again. Sir talked to me about it and i shalt make that mistake again. Other than that Friday was wonderful. Later that night once I arrived at My other home i had a couple beers and ate what Master decided to feed me from his plate, i'm skittish with some fish and hate bones. Silly i know ... i can't help it. But i trusted that Master wouldn't send any bones my way and in the end all was well. We later all watched a rather ..... i don't know how to describe the way i felt about the movie. its called Sick and is about the life of a Masochist with Cystic Fibrosis. Funny but very sad. Later Master took me into his Den and worked me over and it felt wonderful having my mind set straight again. i haven't any other words to describe it. He also put back on the waist chain which was wonderful as well. I went to my bed out on the summer porch and fell off to sleep immediately. the next morning which would be Saturday started in a flurry. we all were going down to Boston to the Fetish Flea and i was going to be able to meet one of Sir's longest closest friends. He was in town and SIr thought it would be a treat to have him check out the flea. so we all left Master's house and got some bagel's and java, did the recycling called Sir to confirm our arrival and away we went. Sir hadn't anticipated his friend being called away from the flea so i hadn't the chance to meet him. I'm sure we'll meet some day. Other than that the flea was great. Sir stayed with us walking around so that we could have dinner with him and then give him a ride to his truck. That was a delightful surprise. And i think we all had a wonderful time. Master purchased a few things that he wanted to get for me and one was a bit for some pony work and the other was a butt plug for my tail. He had me try on a corset but since they didn't have the right size that he and i weren't really comfortable with it was decided that we wait. I can't stand wasting money, so this gives me a greater reason to lose more weight to get down to my fittest capability. Sir's working out all the time as well and dang he looks like a body builder. Way to go Siiiir. And well Master has the metabolism that he really doesn't need to work out, argh .... so it goes right? ((smirk)) It was funny sometimes i didn't know who was coming up behind me for a feel. I'm so lucky. after the flea we all went to the local hard rock and munched out a bit then headed off to bring Sir back to his truck. we said our good bye's and i was to call Sir Sunday morning to check on my schedule. On the way home Master surprised me by stopping off at a clothing store to purchase some undies for me to wear. in talking to Master earlier i had mentioned that Friday before i left Sir wanted to inspect me and made comment to how i was in need of some sexier undies. Master choices as usual were wonderful and this morning while i tried them on for Sir he was very pleased. Thank you Master once again. Later that evening i asked to take a shower and get comfy and was allowed. after i was through showering i went up to bed and layed down to read. Master came in and asked if i was tired and i said no and that he would be going down to check email and such. i asked if he wanted me to go down and he said if you want or you can read (ARGH) "fine i'll sit and read" pout. ((smirk)) I wish he would tell me to do things just a bit more at times. be careful what you wish for. more often than not when i'm at home with Sir he requires me to ask and tells me what he wants me to do if he doesn't agree with my plan .... so then when i go to Master's i'm a bit tossed. its nice to have the choices but then its difficult or i miss being told what to do. i'm a funny creature at times i guess. so after reading for a while Master came up and signaled to me that i was to follow and brought me into his bedroom. he placed me in the same position that he did at another point in time, but the last time i complained about my achy back and shoulder muscles and this time i was determined to give in and let go of every thought except being his. i was once again so surprised at far down into myself he had taken me. When he was through with me he attached a chain to my collar and clasped me on the floor in the bathroom so that he and June could take a shower and ready for bed. when they were through Master came and brought me back into his bed to sleep for the night, what a wonderful surprise. Sunday morning we all woke up and talked about the day ahead of us. i was to work on the log pile so that it would dry better and i then could possibly split some wood from them. Master had brought some pallets home so that once all the wood was moved it could be stacked nicely off the ground. i called Sir and was told he would like to see me home by 3 PM and once Master was brought up to speed we all headed out for some coffee and yum yumms. we did a couple errands on the way home and then i got to work. i think so far it looks really nice. this week Sir is going to VA to help his sister move and shall be back Friday night. So i might be able to go down to Master's and do some more work on the pile. Master was just going to level off the site with the tractor then i can start to replace the wood. Yeeah ... work work i love to work. Grunt work. ugh June came over and helped out ... she heard out my plan and dived right in. it made quick work having another person helping out .... thank you june. we all finished up what we were doing and had some lunch before i was getting ready to leave. Master brought me into his den so that he could take off the ankle cuffs and say his good bye's in his special caring way and i was off. I arrived home Sunday afternoon to Sir and he allowed me to go up and take a bath and even made me a drink. we discussed our weekend and talked about the week to come and had a lovely evening together as usual. thank you Gentleman for giving me the life of my dreams, without you both none of this would be possible. its always a refreshing surprise .............till next dear Journal .....n |
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New directions
((smiles and kneels down in front of you)) "Good Morning Master" she says. She's had a very busy morning thus far. She thought it a good idea to immediately sort through billing and ready the mail so that when her Sir heads out for the day he'd have the appropriate mailing in hand. A time or two in her past life while working in a small office down in Long Island she'd talked to some of the older woman about switching credit cards to keep the annual rate down. After some thought and a thorough deliberation she'd come to Sir on this morning with her proposal. Sir thought it was a wonderful idea and after sorting through all the details found out that we now will save over $3000. in payments if we keep this new card till November of the year 2007. Incredible .... she still snickers over the savings. It looks like today might be a bit dreary and as she looks out the window she see's no dragon in the air..... She wonders about her Master sitting there or if maybe instead he's wandering from task to task solving and correcting everything in a manner and fashion that's she's sure only he can. She also wonders what he's wearing. Pressed pants perhaps with a clean pair of polished shoes to go with a simple yet crisp short sleeve office type shirt. She smiles at the thought of peeking into that side of his world and knows and understands where her place is in the grander scheme of things. She wants to grow and do better in her performance as a slave. Expectations from both Sir and Master are .... what they are. Maybe in time if she pushes herself and they both see what she can accomplish maybe then it would end up better in them seeing her actions not her asking and wanting for something that their other life matters haven't the time for. Or maybe in her writing something up about it and sharing it with both the men would be better. She sits back a while and contemplates this notion or endeavor that she dreams about. The wind outside has picked up a bit and she thinks that the house is cool enough so that the laundry wouldn't make the inside temp of the house unbearable. It looks like its going to be a lovely day. ((change of thoughts inside brighten up her day outside as well)) Yesterday she was surprised in what she accomplished and looks forward to this new challenge of yet another day in slavery. She talked to Sir about the possibility of writing or starting to write in her online journal once again and was very pleased that he'd like to see the rough draft first then make his decision. She discussed with her Master what his thoughts where if she tried to really use the Journal as a growing tool and with constant reflecting and attention to how she's coming along sort of tool. He thought it to be a good idea as well. So here she sits typing away about the this's and the that's ........ who knows.............till next Dear Journal n (( your comments and criticism is welcome and appreciated Gentlemen)) |
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travelling
Hello and Good Afternoon Master .... I take it you know we're now back in NH. The flight was night, no turbulence, just had a beer and read some of the Book your lending me. This morning i've tackled the house and its all nice and spic and span right now. I only have to do some laundry and then dinner but other than that all is well. Right now Sir is out taking some paper work to concord and shall call me later and see if i needed to add anything to the shopping list that i readied for him this morning. It was a nice trip down and is always a pleasure seeing his family. Different parts of the trip at times had me thinking of you and smiling. Its just good to be back now. ;-) And figures on the flight home the mean stewardess nazi wasn't there LOL. I think this progress report might make a nice journal entry .... if i could talk it over with Sir first then with you i'd think it'd be nice .........till next n ps at the moment i'm doing some bills and such on line, maybe i'll catch you at your desk |
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Evasive Evolution
i needed to feel some sort of your presence all day yesterday. you seemed so busy and i felt so bad that i felt that way. and then at night when i knew i'd go to bed without any sense or feel of your control i was angry. maybe now that i can look back and evaluate that day better i can now put into words the way i felt Master. the only thing that i can say is that when you work me i go into a certain place or frame of mind. i'm sure you know that as well by now. i knew that i was in such a predicament. and i knew that you could do what ever you wanted. how far would you go or push was so out of my hands. that was the wildest notion to have to deal with. i can look back now and say to myself that i knew then and now that i wouldn't be permanently hurt in any manner. i just pictured myself as some wild banshee kept captive by Ogre's . (too much gaaame) ((smirk)) but that's how i feel now. incredibly strong and on fire at the ready for life all the time. its like work me in any particular capacity and i'll excel for you as far as i can go, even thinking about it now the place i was at in there is amazing. you turned me into a thing. i just now said it in my head and it totally made sense. i've never really thought about all the different ways,......actualy, i've never fully been there and enjoyed myself yet until that night. i think B had taken me there and rushed it and didn't build to much of a person around himself for me. it was like i was their in the condo and he was absolutely everything around me. and the one thing that killed me was that i could never know him as a person. the mystery, a constant nag knowing you'll never really know. now with being yours i'm so out of my mind grateful. it is such a pleasure to do the simplest of things with you. you made me a thing and the next day you made me yours. when life is played out the way it truly was meant to be played the tears of overwhelming feelings and a sense of finding my place is incredible. please if you could Master. please remember those things in me when i'm away and please please. is this the place that F and l talk about? ...... n |
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String...
As of right now. the house is clean laundry is at a stand still remarkabley so. (grin) i just got back from the gym and i'm writing up a grocery list. After i'm finished with this i'll take the dog out for a hike then come in and take a bath or shower then do the groceries. for super i'm on my own because Sir has a zoning board meeting. Other than that i guess that's all. Well no i'd be lieing. (smiles fondly) I had the balloons in my jeep from the party and i was sort of holding the rope to them, because i didn't want them flying out of the open window as i was driving. and i noticed i was like rubbing the rope between my fingers just sort of thinking. you went and got that from your supply and cut it yourself. i was trying to figure out why i was so fond of it. viola. (eg) i know silly rabbit ........ n |
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III
I thought this morning while getting ready for the gym about the roman numeral three on me (smile) i thought about the possibility of what would happen if i worked on it a little and maybe keep it fresh. but now as i type .... maybe that's not something for me to think about, is it. (grin) its not my body. its only my shell and i'm here to take care of it for you. picture of it blogspot dragonsnicole i feel so good and tired. well not tired tired but ... hmph ... maybe the word used and owned we be better. i feel so damn greatful and special. i think in life your just guided somewhere and things happen for a reason. i'd like to know what i did to deserve this chance of being a part of your life. its wonderful and all the work on every bodies part to make our lives all fit together is another gift from whom ever. god? naahh ;-) some mythical one then? nope ;-) ((shrugs and smiles)) i don't know. only you have the answers and i'd like to know them all. your eyes to the world our mine. i already feel that we have similar thoughts on most things and on others .... well its all a learning experience for me. your my world and you create it all .... thank you Master.... thank you for having me ............... n ps i'm not sure how many words i could type out and have the world understand what i felt being tied up like that at the party. i was absolutely and completely at your mercy and it scared the shit out of . and i trusted you and knew .... ppss wow this whole email i went off on a tangent of thoughts, didn't? I have laundry all sorted out and a load running. Floors partialy done and the blankets are all put away from the basement. Guest bedroom is all stripped and their bathroom too. I'm just taking this break to send word to you on my day and share thougths. ps the III i didn't stay home after the party at our house. instead Master Calvin took me back to his home w/ june. when we got there Master decided that it would be best if i slept in my room so everyone could sleep a little better. i hesitantly agreed, thinking that if i was going to sleep alone i could of slept at home. As usual Master seen it in my face i guess and came back to get me. I was laying in my bed with my clothes on and was just tired and wanting to go to sleep. Master came down and snatched me up taking away my clothes and put my bedding down beside his and j's bed. i can't really remember when he asked me about my reason for acting like i did but he did bring it up the next morning. when we woke up i asked if i could take a shower and he said yes and brought me down to his den and then asked me about what i had done and what i was thinking and that i shouldn't withhold thoughts like that. i felt so bad. he whipped me and brought me to tears and then pushed me to my knees and then used my mouth and then forced me down and used my front and rear. it was different, everything about it and i hadn't knowing that i did something wrong. it brought me to tears in its intensity, on one side it felt nice the way he used me as he wished and on the other side i couldn't totally enjoy it. i felt i didn't deserve to enjoy it, he made his point. i could feel it emanating from him , he was so far removed. why would anyone intentionally be bad is beyond me. i promised never to do it again. and i shan't. |
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Catching up
So i guess Dear Journal that you figured out by my last entry that my stream of thought is garbled ((wink)) That Labor Day weekend we all ended up going up to VT to check out some shops and on the way Master Calvin had us take a slight detour. I mentioned to Him and June as we were heading up the highway, about how in the winter time from the highway you could see a huge wall sheeted with ice up off to the right. Next thing we know we're all scouring the woods searching for it. ((grins)) June and i walked the snowmobile road which is paved while we watched Master walk along a woods trail. We all walked a while and we couldn't see any hint of it from where we walked. The only thing that might have given us any indication that we were in the right vicinity was the little streamlets here and there. Other than that we had no clue. Well. At least me and June didn't. ((smile)) June and i headed up to meet Master on the trail and walk back that way and see if from a higher spot we could see it. No still no luck from there. So we all headed back to the car and i ran up the trail a ways intermittently, thinking might as well get a little exercise in. I stopped at one point and lost em. lol So i waited and waited and figured Master was abusing June and they'd come along up the trail at some point. (eg) WRONG!! Master pops up and motions for me to come back this way. And off we headed back the way we came, but added a little detour that Master found. Niiiiice.... very f'n nice place. It looked prehistoric and just wild as all hell. Lovely lovely place. Thank you for taking the time to find it Master. Thank you very much. The other night at Sir's house while we were heading off to bed Sir said "There's a bat in the house." and i said "ok" and off to sleep we went. lol Forgot all about it till this morning. I was coming around the corner heading into the living room when i thought "Hmm ... that's an aweful big June bug on the screen." I walked up closer and immediately recognized the poor bastard. I went into the garage and found an old breeder fish tank holder, it is used to separate the mother fish from the other fish. I have him now in it with a small baggie with warm water on the outside to give him a little heat. And i've given him a couple drops of water. I'll have to look up some info on him. i hope he lives. I have an appointment to take the jeep in to get serviced, oil change, check the brakes. Yeaaah. And i'm folding laundry in between typing. its easier i think at times to do something intermittently while writing i tend not to get stumped. We have a dog now. she's fun. and oh so liddle. (wink) i took her for a run up the driveway so she wouldn't be bored today. man she's getting faster and leaner, i'm going to have to step it up and even if i do i still don't ever think i'll catch up to her. (grin) On Friday i went down to the other house. And i got my ring back from being fixed at the jewelers. I was just looking at it. its so unique and delicate. i really missed it. it doesn't take much these days for me to get fuzzy hazzy in the head. if i stop and think and think about Master at all i'm zapped into .... (eg) i don't know what sort of state. just lost in a moment of time. As i learn and live it feels like im coming into some sort of true self. i have to be careful with such thoughts. i can't wait to see what's next. just to look into his eye's and wonder sends me into blurriness. and never mind if he touches me. i know i've written about this before but i can't help it. its like when i leave there i'm all charged up and ready like a wind up flash light. and through the week juuust when it starts to peter out WHAM i get to see him again and get all charged up again. Its wonderful and i'm truly blessed. Now back to Friday. Went down for a sleep over and the next day we all including Sir would be going to a party. we went out to eat. mm good times. came back home and settled in. i got to watch Master fiddle with his new light. and then he choose to use me for a while in his den then put me to rest in the cage for a while. then off to bed stumbling though the dark to my little bed where little girls dream of dark mysterious daddies who touch them and make them keep secrets and heaven for bid don't tell anyone little girl. (veg) her special purpose for daddie. (i don't know if you want to keep that part out or not you'll decide i'm sure) Saturday went to the party. and had bagels and coffee before heading back in the am. the party was nice good people fairly comfortable yet a little tight. Master whipped me and stuck a butt plug in me and had me standing and cumming for him again and again with delight. i'm loving the way my body is remolding itself. at one point i was able to pull myself up and hold up there while he manipulated me into a wild ass cum. i feel great and its all because of him making my world something that know one else can ever imagine or feel for themselves. dreams do come true . thank you so much again Master i'm truly and eternally grateful and indebted to you ......as always your n. till next Dear Journal
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journal thoughts
(just) put pictures in place for my words. its your world now, not for anyone else in my book.... no one else matters ,,, what they think or care or read. Tough for them to not get a peak inside me (eg). Its like a little treasure chest and only you have the key to see whats inside and bragging rights ... when people see you out with us in my book is bragging enough. Make em wonder and be puzzled. just give em snipits. Its like the happier i get, the more closed my world gets and i don't care to share but i've tried to put more effort or little touches into your progress report and you can do with it what you wish as always Master my journal is about what and for who. thats the thing i don't understand. why do you feel the need to have it out there Master? Do you think i'll disapear? tell me you like to print the pages and read them then crumple them up into little balls and stuff em in your mouth then masturbate while you mill over what you've just read. ((joking joking joking))
Master's note: nicole was supposed to write about her Memorial day weekend, but a scene from lasts months party kept coming back to her. Perhaps in part because we had gone antiquing and old wardrobes keep catching her eye, a corner closet with an old house door that looked like something from the Lion, Witch and Wardrobe particularly interested her. All I know is that I seen the closet and I needed to go inside. He knew this before hand. We talked about the possibilities. I leaving it all in his hands wondered quietly. Enter silent darkness. Calm soothing lonely misery. Slightly on edge with a chain wedge up between my thighs. Memories of a previous perverse encounter in said closet. I wondered how long, I didn’t really care. He knew how long and he’d keep me safe from everything. Swaying, wondering, silently enveloped in him alone but not. He slides the door open and slips something and even sometimes forces something into my mouth. It takes me several minutes to really know what is in my mouth. Funny how taste works. At first nothing, just cold or warm … then slowly BAM ….. aahhh a piece of sushi and wasabi. ((grin)) mm Silent thank you’s. Low murmured yumms and mm’s. Leading into the night. Brought over to be tied up in the most heavenly of ways. Pig, piece of meat. His. Then chained up and captured electrically bound to him at his mercy and control. To shake and moan out and gasp. Dripping at the sound, and feel of him. Shaking till I can’t stop shaking …he knows …. He watches…such a thing I am of His. I’m saddened to think that the memories of everything can not always be typed down while I do this Journal for Him. It comes in stages and sometimes it doesn’t come at all ….. or maybe it does and its to much to write about. Brought out to a party and tormented, kept on edge again in an exquisite Master mind plot of constant building ecstasy. Brought up up and up into a mind blowing orgasm that was nothing like I’d ever felt before. I’ve stopped touching myself which he’s made no disagreement about. His touch was the first in 8 days he said. Cathartic catapult of a wild ass orgasm. For all to see and hear. I was with him and no one else, he held me up and kept me safe and brought me around again. Thank you so much Master. The squirming cowering tender creature at his mercy. She simply can’t do anything but obey. Move here move there, Goood just like that. Tears come at times and pass and the pain courses through her settling down in her groin. Makes her want to please him more. Accept don’t try to understand, your not him. You’re his…….till next Dear Journal ……… n
Good Morning Master, I was sitting here sorting out in my head what needed to be done today. And then it hit me. I wasn't thinking about anything else but my service to you. The picture you sent ... once again i can't help but say "it was simply beautiful". It sent me into a tailspin of emotion about so many different levels of service and the things i feel and do and am for you. It made me look at myself and see so much more in there, like huge parts of me that haven't even been seen before by anyone. To me when i think about that i hope and trust and feel that you know just how valuable such things are. Your my centering point ............. n the pic can be seen at my blogspot dragonsnicole ps I wrote up this poem last night before cooking dinner Master is the word i use that makes me warm inside Master is the word i use some things i can not hide When things are astray, amess, or array Master i know shall make my day ((like the made up word? shhh don't tell websters)) ((wink)) |
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An ending
The next day we were all pretty much pooped and we went out for a mom’s day breakfast and then did some antiquing and even hit a wonderful plant shop. fuck my face slap and squeeze my tits till i moan and drop to my knees pinch the inside of my thigh till i gasp wrech my head back with a fist full of hair i was strung up in front of the door. Whips, chips and paper clips how come i can't remember it all? and suddenly is was time to head home Thank you again so much for all that you do Master ………till next Dear Journal …….n |
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not out of the closet yet
Saturday we ended up going out for bagels and coffee in the morning and then Master and I took some more brush to the dump while june went to the gym. After we picked her up we had a quick lunch and then Master and I went up to Sir’s house so that I could feed little Mr. sick cat, who’s looking rather well considering his circumstances. So off we went. I was able to show Master the natural basin on the property and told him it was the latest in slave bath’s BUURRR…. Chi chi chiiily it would and will be. Once we got back we all got dressed and ready. WOW…. I was just hit in the head with a memory. ((EFG)) Saturday morning Master decided to use me for a bit and did some needle work on my tits and abused my pussy and left some rather brilliant bruises there that are still quite evident at this moment. Thank you Master. Thank you so much. So we head off to the party and there were loads of good people and great food there and then I see the closet. Yes the same one I fell in love with once before. I kind of leaned up against the door and looked longingly into it and then over at Master and he knew. ((grins)) he trussed me up in there and june said I was in there for a little over two hours. My god how time flies. Periodically he would open it and torment me and give me bits of food and then shut me off again. ((sighs)) Thank you so much june for the chocolate covered strawberries as well. Later that evening another Master asked if he could suspend me and Master allowed him to. Master said he would be there with me so I felt fine with it. It was really hot let me tell you. I felt like a piece of meat at there total mercy. My mouth was opened wide and this thing held my head back by my nose and it was exquisite torture. Master just sat there and tapped me with his foot now and again to turn and swing me slightly.. mmm Later on Master asked how I was and I said bored. And the only reason I said that was because I was sitting across the room looking at this guys balls that looked like a turkey head LOL. So Master put me in this chain thing and used the tens unit and some other wired up contraption on me and it was shocking how floaty flighty I was yet again that evening. I wanted to cum for him so bad in that thing yet the constant pain of the pulse at times kept me just out of reach and I expressed to him just that. And he loves it, to have me all wound up and no where to go….poor little nicole right? ((eg)) Once we finally got home and settled in bed I couldn’t cum soon enough for him and by the sounds coming from june I think she had fun as well a few times. ((wink)) |
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Life is like a box of chocolates 5/12
Well Dear Journal here we go again. ((smile)) It was Friday and I was heading down to the airport to drop off Sir. He was going to see his mom for Mother’s day and being that it was a quick jaunt he decided that I should stay and that way I’d be able to feed our Jacob cat. No argument from me on this. I hate the rushed visits. Its like going a thousand miles a minute and going no where all at once. It was an early flight and I was going to be calling Master at 12 to find out where we would have lunch together, seeing that I was going to be in that area. I thought that I’d have a huge amount of time to waste in between dropping him off and lunch but it turned out that I had about an hour to spare. I went to the mall to futs around for a bit and got the brilliant idea to get my hair cut. ((grins)) Sir said in the past that I could get about 3 inches taken off and well, when the girl was cutting we didn’t have a ruler and I hadn’t thought about keeping any hair remnants so it all worked out rather nicely I think. And to my delight everyone was pleased with the outcome. It was funny getting my hair cut by a stranger like that. Most of the time I have my sister or mom do it when I see them so this was something completely different. It was fun and of course I had to tease the woman doing my hair slightly. She was asking me about my collar and several times I had to open my mouth and then shut it and then rethink my answers. ((grin)) And she asked about a party I had mentioned that we’d be going to and once again I had to slap my mouth shut and rethink my words. She ended up agreeing that pot luck dinner parties were such fun ((wink)) And the look on her face when I’d say everything in the “they and them form not he” was priceless. After my hair was done I went ahead and called Master as planned and we had a very nice lunch and then I was off to head for home to ready myself to head down to my other home. He groped me in the parking lot at my jeep before sending me off and I swear if he wanted me to I would of sucked him off right then and there. ((eg)) So I have cut hair and there’s now a nice bounce to it and in my step and I’m on my way down to his house. Curses … the sick cat got out last night. Sir was asking where one of the cats was because the front door opened up and I was like “she’s right here.” And we didn’t even think that the other one would skiddaddle like that. DOH So there I am scurrying around the house looking and looking till finally I remembered seeing a cat outside that looked just like Jake go and hide in this burro type of place near the woods. Curses …. There is a cat that I’ve seen that does look like him lol. Anyways about an hour and a half later I finally got him to come back in using the other fat cat’s meow’s for sustenance as bait. Curses …. Cats. It ended up working out all right because Master and june were tied up getting Thai food and were running late as well. That night he whipped me soundly, no warm up simply how he wanted to and it left me feeling complete and whole once again. I’m trying to think what else happened that night and my mind is mush at the moment, I’m sorry. I just remembered … Master and I watched the movie Saw together. Quite the predicament those men were in indeed. |
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Bring me down inside you
Its funny. When you have less time in your day, or more so when something occupies your mind and keeps your attention you tend to not want to do much else. These days its Runescape. Well to be more specific its Master then Runescape then Sir and the house. But! Here’s where things change slightly in the thought process. Talking and sharing with Master allows him to manage my time or probably to be more realistic “He makes me think more about everything, not just him.” So with that thought. nicole tends to go about her day more smoothly, tending to what needs to be done here and smoothing out and making nice there. And its funny when I think about it, the “it” being my train of thought. For me taking care of Sir is not that complex. He likes a nice house and for things to simply be ready along with his schedule. His work clothes and casual wear are always easy for him to find. At one time I was responsible for setting out his clothes, but at that time it was rather limited as to what he would wear. And now he has a plethora of ties and dress shirts and for me to even hazard a guess would take eons. And he and I both agree it’s all in one’s mood sometimes what he would like to wear. I have to stop and laugh here. I think if I wrote about all the ins and outs in the main house I’d be writing for days. Does that make me lazy? ((what I think insideß)) How far is far enough. How done is done. I get focused and I want to do it till its done. There’s generally no stopping no changing course. I like to learn and do good and I think that’s sometimes why I’m so hesitant to write in the journal. To me in my thinking I always have far to much to write about and it troubles me that I can’t at that moment talk to someone anyone about everything that passes through my mind. Did I ever mention that I sometimes think to much. ((smiles)) I like to take a scenario or anything and fiddle with it like a rubics cube endlessly till there are no more possible results. How things work. To learn to know to grow endlessly. That’s why I’m happy I’m not to familiar with power tools. I’d have built this and that and that and this. Ohhh the creations MMMWHHHAAA HHHHHAW!!!! On the 5th of this month I was wanted down at Master’s home. ((calms herself)) Tunnel vision best describes it. You ever watch one of those magnificently trained sheep herding dogs when their handler, owner, trainer is within site of them? ((border collies)) To me what I interrupt in observing them is that they seem to barely notice anything else. Their aware of everything all the time but their focus is constantly on the handler. Performance, capability, endless desire to please. To act unconditionally in any manner at the slightest hint that that’s needed. Its always there in me. It was Cinco Dimio and Mexican was the nationality of choice. We had some rather yummy nacho’s that june whipped up. ((wink)) Noooo … she didn’t whip anybody. ((eg)) The kids had some friends sleeping over so the dress was casual and comfortable and the adult interactions were cordial. That is when the kids were around LOL. I’m so bad, I know. Towards the end of the evening I was told to come and followed into his. Hmm dungeon seems kind of silly today. I have to think of a better word for it. Or group of words. Let me see….His Deliciously Decadent Den. I think on this night june was allowed to go and relax and read her book. Which for her doesn’t happen very often and it’s a nice treat. The way she described the book its about Vampires and Werewolves with an S/m twist. ((eg)) For now Runescape is my brain garbage but maybe when she’s done at some point I’ll indulge. I decided to try something new on this night. I decided to stop thinking completely and simply DWIITID. It sort of takes me out of the picture and puts pure response into it. He had the hood on me and ball gag and then with the blindfold on top of all that it sends me away quicker than that border collie could ever take me. All I feel is ready. And not ready at the same time. I think this is when I start to undulate. Its soothing …and just lets me feel something quietly. I think I tend to remain rather still but just sway slightly. That’s the best way I can remember. Being able to watch yourself. Odd thought. He just worked me like a top. And when he does speak its like ….you just want more of that voice. Just thinking about it sends my mind racing on a tangent of pieces and pieces and pieces of him and instances and delicious thoughts of no more than a smile at times. Saturday morning I awoke at 5:30 as per june’s calculations. ((eg)) that night before bed I couldn’t come up with time and figures. I just told her what time I had to be there and where it was and she did the magic. Her figuring was great and with the couple of stops I had to make I was only there for 15-30 minutes before the first of the volunteers arrived. This project consisted of using pulleys, cables, and straps to move huge boulders around. Hmm … nice combination huh? ((eg)) All in total we moved 5 that weighed easily 500 lbs. a piece and then some. One of the men did the calculations but I was trying to hide LOL behind my jeep while slipping into some shorts. Vanilla folk BAH!! ((wink)) But once again I came home with a wealth of knowledge and huge confidence and ability in a project using these tools. The people were great and I even had the opportunity to do a GeoCache and found it without my gps. Whoooo WHOOO. Well it also helps when your working right along with the Head of the Forest’s Fire Tower Man. I know there’s a more professional name for him, pardon my digression. Came home pooped but the house was done. Sir and I quickly showered and dressed and met Master and june and had some yummy vittles and juice. ((eg)) What a treat indeed. I think we all had a great time. Sunday was another nice treat. Sir and I went down to Keene and did some grocery shopping. Its slightly pricey but you can find some really fun ingredients that you sometimes normally don’t see at other places in our area. So for now Dear Journal I’m off feeling Calm, Casual, and Collected ……….till next n ps dragonsnicole at blogspot contains pic |
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life
Good Morning M, So far this morning i've seen Sir off to work with kiwi, bananas, bran and coffee in his tummy. The bed is made and everything is put away i.e.. dirty dishes, laundry, papers. I went ahead and organized one of Sir's little cabinets he keeps hats and keys in and shall later organize the coat closet purging it of any remnant winter items. I also went ahead and organized the magazines so that Sir can look over them when he returns home. I'm not sure just yet what to make for dinner. I'm just about ready to head out to the gym now and all i have to do is comb my hair. Later i can vacuum and wash the floors or i can straighten up the furnace room or garage. So there is an abundance of things to keep this girl busy. (smiles) i just wanted to say to you that you can groom me to be anything you want with out fear of losing the me you simply like me to be. i hope that makes sense to you. Chatting with you yesterday really was nice and even the subtlest things you wrote set nicely in my head. Thank you for everything once again ......... n Good Afternoon M, Well .... once i got home from the gym i set about cleaning out the winter things in the coat closet and put everything up in the attic. I had lunch. And then i went and cleaned out the furnace room. There were a lot of Sir's tools in there from when he did the cage so i left those out in an orderly fashion and i'll first give him the chance to put them away where he wants. If he so chooses i will put them away, but i'll ask him first. I've done the last load or laundry and i have chop suey ready for dinner. I vacuumed the whole house except for the attic and bagged up all the clothes we'll be giving away to friends. (smiles) Oh i also wrote a list of items that belong to other people and put them in an easy to find bag. And i'm going to do a quick wash on the kitchen floor. Other than that i think i'm done for the moment............. n ps if you ever get the chance check out the movie "House of sand and fog" it was really good. |
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Hello again. I know ... its been far to long. I've just been living life and frankly i haven't really felt like sharing my secret thoughts. For some reason they've gone to fun and care free to guard them like their the worlds most valuable treasure. And to me they are.
Yesterday i had an awesome time on a near by mountain. The reason for my going there was to learn all that i can about the proper care of trails. This particular day was on erosion control. They would be making water bars, clearing trenches, and small stream crossings. And let me tell you .... i learned so much from these people. I was told that i'd be working and staying with the Trail Master (efg) all day long. Funny ... he plucked me right up when i first got there. (wink) We worked with another woman who's been doing this sort of volunteer work for 29 years and hiking for even more. I dug and dug and helped and cleaned my ass off and now i'd like to think that i can effectively problem solve and tackle almost any erosion problem. I'd really like to attend more of their volunteer days, we'll see right?
And traveling back in time i've been home going to the gym just about every day. I've tried to always keep on hand all the good foods for Sir and i to be at our healthiest. I've also been doing all the regular house paperwork and laundry. Went to another NWTF banquet and auction and ended up coming home with two really nice leather embossed trunks. They both found them selves stuffed with blankets and games. And noooo.... their family type games not what you were thinking.
I've also been down to Master's on a few occasions and the debaucheries continue. Tender tenacious turmoil bests describes my place there. And i love it ........till next dear Journal .................... n |
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Last visit before LLC
Good Morning Master, I'll try and explain my actions. I went to your home to see you firstly and to serve a purpose for you. I cleaned did my best and then had a lovely dinner with you and j. Once again all is well. i then had the delightful treat of being able to lay at your feet. your boots smelt soo wonderful and i was in total heaven. Now all the while everything in me was all about being my purist self that i am. everything i felt i did and it all fell into place so easily. You then motioned with your finger for me to come and i did. I needed all this from you so desperately ... i had to have a deeper feeling of being your slave before going down to LLC. When we were in the dungeon i so needed some marks from you. Foot prints in the sand saying you'd been there. Every lash and with every hit i hoped it left something there on me. It all truly was wonderful and i'm deeply deeply greatful at this point. You tell me tell me what the rest of my time there at your home will consist of and i had to leave. Yes i nodded and said oh ok. But you didn't look for the real answer and i didn't confess. I started towards my sleeping area and immediately scooped up my things. I was so sad ... i did what was wanted and had what i needed and just had to go. It was perfect the feeling of being your slave couldn't of settled in any deeper at that point. I knew you both be in the shower and escape for me would be easy. So off i went to my other home to settle down and reflect and rest. Not sad, overwhelmed .it was intense for me once everything washed together in me i want to represent your home and be perfect at LLC. Well think about who most of the people that are going to be at this place are Master. its just that i want people to leave wondering ...(eg) how you do it. last night was like the perfect little snipet for my being and everything that was done last night. i know i may be feeling things a bit to tense and it mostly has to do with me just feeling it. I want to shine and revel in it and excel and succeed, it realy quite a wonderful feeling. And with your guidance it makes things in me all the more content. : or excited .... sorry not the best word. anxious its like most of the people there whether they play or don't they know exactly what its about and i'd realy like to just realy be fantastic. ps if you would like to see the picture he took of me that night you can go to my journal and check it out. i think he did a realy wonderful job in capturing some thing wonderful. http:// dragonsnicole. blogspot.com / |
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Tuesday April 11th
Leather leadership
Hello Dear Journal, Lets start first by saying I am so lucky to have been allowed to go to the Leather Leadership Conference this past weekend. Thank you thank you thank you. Our weekend started on Thursday afternoon when two of my friends came over so that we could drive down to NYC together. We packed up my jeep as best we could and off we went. The mood in the jeep was generally ranging from excited to just plain out of control. (Eg) Drive drive drive laugh laugh laugh were there. Once we get into the city we all get really anxious and its unbelievably exciting. I couldn’t help myself. I had to do this. Were stopped at a light and there’s a guy in a car next to us staring at my friends amply shaped tits. Soooo I reach over and caress her tit all the while looking at this guy. (Vefg) suddenly my friend with the tits realizes what’s going on and goes into a fit of blushing and hysterical laughter and so did the girl in the back seat. The guy suddenly realizes I’m staring at him while all this is going on and he doesn’t know whether to look away or what and then decides instead to mouth the words “Thank you” just before driving away. Welcome to NYC ladies. (Eg) We then get the jeep unpacked and valet park it so we don’t have to worry about a thing. We check in and get a ton of key cards seeing that there is going to be 5 of us in the room this weekend. That’s right FIVE scantaly clad ladies in one room. (Eg) Hmm ... what next. We were all unpacked and hungry so we decided to take a walk and get some grub. Still didn’t notice to many people in for the confrence yet. The next day we decided to scout about the city some and take in the sites and shopping. (Eg) I wore this little lacy top and made sure the first button fastened was slightly under my bra line giving off a very lovely view I was told. The girls kept of laughing there asses off at all the nice people that told me that “your shirt is unbuttoned” LOL I’d just grin and say “I know” (eg) I can’t help myself ... when the opportunity to mess with people is there I more than likely will take it. I think it was later in the day when we were waiting in the lobby that we ran into him. He’s well known and a rather good player from what I’ve seen when I’ve had the chance. When I was introduced to him I told him that I’d met him at other events and named them and told him that I could understand if he didn’t remember me seeing that he must meet thousands of people a year. The chit chat was nice and he ended up coming with us so that he could stow his bag in our room for a bit. I thought that was cool. We head back to the room and some how I end up getting a few strokes of the cane from him. I still haven’t quite figured out how that came to be lol. I think at that time we discussed my options on play and I told him what I had arranged with M. He was fine with the fact that I had wished to only be hooded and gaged and possibly blindfolded and groped (eg) or not. Lol We’ll see right? (Wink) That’s the one hard thing about writing about all this in the Journal know its like the time continuum is all gone a stray. We ended up taking a walk around the city to pass some time and I suggested going to have a beer and thats when the chit chat getting to know you commenced. He asked if we all wanted another and I knew I did but being a good girl I opted out. (Grin) Later that night it was time for a cocktail party and then the opening ceremony. It was great and I’m am so damn shy. (Eg) I know. Of all the people in the world to be shy right. We had a few cocktails and ate some hors d'orves and I had a wonderful time being introduced to this person from California and this person from Atlanta or Chicago, it was truly amazing. And you want to talk about electricity it was so intoxicating. Everyone was friendly and charming and charismatic and sensual ... mm. I just wished M was there at the helm. And j would of been just speechless. But they weren’t there and I was once again missing a shirt under my jacket (wink) Oh such fun. I held myself with good posture and was sure to mind all my p’s and q’s and I hope I did M justice. I was also introduce to a man who mentioned to us that if I was left hooded like that he couldn’t be trusted near me. (Eg) Oh such fun once again. The opening ceremony was wonderful. They had some wonderful speakers and I’m just going to skim over this part cause I can. Lol We went back to our room and brought the little pig fuck boy who couldn’t be trusted and my other friend brought back another young man from Maryland I believe. Let the games begin. On one bed we have one friend naked and being tormented with the violet wand. She was holding the charger thingy so that she was charged and I couldn’t resist I had to give her a lick and a rub now and then. She wiggles and squeals to marvelously. And meanwhile on the other bed my other friend has the pig on his hands and knees with his cock and balls all in a bunch with tons of clothes pins. Yum. Hmm I feel I should give the pig some props. When we were at the cocktail hour I was talking to him and he told me a few stories about what treacherous things he’s done in his life. I thought I was crazy damn he’s my idol. (Vefg) Thus the reason for me refering to him as that. So my friend asks me to help out with the pig and I indulge myself in giving some wiggles now and again to the surgical tubing holding all his goodies in place. Its funny I can submit and feel the tops energy but when I try to top even in the slightest why I’m left feeling nothing. But I shake it and pull and he seems to be enjoying it so (grin) As time goes by I scratch him up a bit and bite him here and there and at one point I jumped on his back and dry humped him telling him what a dirty pig he realy was. (Eg) I’m so bad. Everyone left we went through all the classes with who was taking what when and then went to bed at about 3:30 ish and damn was I pooped. The next morning I woke up at my usual 6 somethingish and walked to a Starbucks MM god I miss that. I sat in the lobby for a while and watched the morning crowed mingle about for a while then headed back up to the room to make sure the girls were all getting ready. Crap .... I forgot to talk about our other two roommates. Lol I think they came in sometime late Friday afternoon and they were awesome ladies. So now were 5 hot mama’s. So I head off to the room and everyone is in full swing and were all off to our classes. Christ ... I don’t operate well on a couple some odd hours of sleep let me tell you. So the first course is a dude, nothing learned just common sense. And the second is the same and I’m ohhh so sleepy at this point and contemplating the option of heading back to the room to get a nap in. (Grin) I get to the elevators and was enveloped in guilt and had to go back and head to the next class. Crap crap and double crap ... I neeeeed sleeeep. (Eg) By the third class I was somewhat delirious and before the forth one could start I was up in our room hoping to take a quick snooze. Lol Nope not gonna happen. One of the other girls I was with came back to pee or change or something and caught me gave me the riot act and we headed back down together. It ended up being ok cause the class was reasonable informative and they guy doing the class even though gay was rather hot so I made up some naughty stories in between taking notes. (Eg) The next class I headed over and took the one my friend was doing and even though she had a small crowd I still think it went rather well. After that we went back to the room and freshened up a little we decided to go to the restaurant in the hotel for dinner. I had the sea bass with capers and olives and my friends had ravioli with fresh basil I think and the other had a chicken Marsala. MM and then to our surprise the Him found us again and ate with us. And the teasing and fun talk commenced and somehow the discussion changed to jovial to me and my thoughts about being fisted in the ass (eg) So back to the room we go and everyone is running this way and that and nakedness is rampant. Luck we weren’t vanilla otherwise we’d still be taking showers and deciding who gets to change first in the bathroom. (Wink) And were off. We get to the club that TES is having there party at and its small but filled with good company, though me and another woman were with can’t help but compare the play stations to the layout of a gym. The line for play was long and the time on each piece was short and I can’t wait for the chance to play with Him again and M (vefg) He played with my friend first and marked up her back and ass real nice with his whip and then took a rest and then later motioned for me to follow him out to the arena. (Grin) He had asked me earlier what station I’d like to play at and I was kind of miffed because there realy wasn’t a place that would allow me to be free with my hands up above my head, but he had his own ideas anyways. He ended up leading me to a like smaller picnic table if you could imagine covered completely with cushion and leather. Like a spanking bench but not. He then made me comfy and then blindfolded me then started in on me. (Eg) He played with my tits and flogged my front some but couldn’t keep the snack bite type nipple things on me and then had me try to cum, which wasn’t going to happen. Lol I think back now and should of asked if I could asume any position and if I was allowed would of done the old faithful ass in the air and went to town. It was odd though because all the while I wanted M there, it left a huge void in me not having him there. So he had me turn over and proceeded to use a cane then what felt like a prison strap on my ass which just about broke me. But he backed off and I was very thankful. It was odd playing with someone else like that. I didn’t know what to do when he kept giving me choices which is nice seeing how we realy didn’t know each other and I was relying on his good name in the lifestyle alone as my guide. Oh I failed to mention that earlier that morning I called M and requested to be allowed to play with Him and he said yes along with some other rules which I thanked him for and was very greatful for. Early I had told the Him man that my Master would like the chain he put around my waist to be showing along with his tag he made up which had Master’s name and my slave registry number on it. And when I was over the bench the Him man did adjust the chain now and again and place the tag on my back which was kind of cool. Lol oh this is funny. At one point during dinner the conversation turned to me likeing the fact that I was rather tight and I guess the Him man remembered that and was going to slide his finger in me during play. Well he slipped it in and moved up to my ear and commented to me on how tight I realy was ...... LOL I then told him that I had a tampon in. LMFAO My period at that point was just about done and as a safety net I felt it best to put a tampon in regaurdless (eg) and see it worked out. The him man then took his now snail trailed finger and brought it to my lips and I immediately sucked it up thinking of how M’s cock would feel in my mouth at that very moment and the sigh that came from His lips told me that M would of been proud. It wasn’t long after that that I was finished and getting dressed to go sit and enjoy my fuzzies. We went back to the hotel and I decided to call it a night and thankfuly my friend went off to play in another room with some people. It realy ended up working out rather well because one of the other woman staying with us came back early too and we had a realy nice chat about house service and she was interested in what I had to say and that was realy special to me. To know that I was doing something right and could possibly give insight to someone else was an honor. Thank you for your time A. The next day was wonderful and I once again snuck out to indulge in my Starbucks. MM mm. The classes on this day were much better and I learned a lot. One class was on creating effective learning moments and the other was on Edge play ...natural progression or dangerous trend. Both were very enlightening to me and I can’t wait to share all that I’ve learned with M. Oh the one realy cool thing I should of shared right away was that when I was laying on my bed in the room I was staring dead at the Empire State Building. (Smiles) One night it was all blue and another it was all yellow. Realy nice treat. After all this is was just packing and Him telling me I should really go to Tes Fest down in NJ in July. (Shrugs smiles) Who knows right. I told M about it and I’ll simply cross my fingers at this point. I got to go shopping with the ladie staying in our room that shared conversations with me about my life and that was a real nice treat and then got to meet a bunch of her friends that lived where she was from. Awesome people everywhere you turned. We left the big city and headed back to New Hampshire and for most of the trip back me and my friend F talked about some deep issues regarding the fact that a lot of people in our lifestyle don’t have a realy deep foundation of honor or respect and their standards aren’t to high in some cases. To often it seems that people are turning it on and off instead of tweaking it and making it work for them constantly as it should be, at least in my case. We got home rather late and I told the girls we’d wake up Sir and say hi and I think he liked that a real lot. He had two naked ladies on each side and one (myself) sitting at the foot of the bed watching them snuggle and fondle and it was realy interesting for me to watch. Then for the first time in I don’t know how long Sir decided to invoke his right and had me suck his cock. At first I was hesitant and then after straightening things out in my head I obliged. After we were finished with our snuggles one of my friends got up from the bed and the other girl realy wasn’t moving ... I hesitated for a moment then asked if she would like to sleep there in the bed with Sir that night and she and he said yes. That was the oddest feeling in the world I’ve ever felt. Its like all along I’ve kept Sir in a box sort of nice and safe there and now here he was out and ready for his own fun. I went off to the spare bedroom to sleep in the day bed and told my other friend of what was happening and she commended me for my ability to do the right thing by Sir and how proud she was of me. It still was very odd to hear them playing. This is the reality of my choices and I discussed it with M again and I can’t wait to talk to him again about all this. Phew .... I think I’ve written enough and I hope this all makes sense to you Dear Journal ............ till next............slave n ps I feel that I’ve learned so much about myself and I also feel that there is much room for improvement on myself as well and I can’t wait to share these thoughts with M. |
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Monday, April 03, 2006
For one thing this morning I’m not really liking the time change thing. Or its maybe that the weekend is catching up with me, I’m not sure. But I feel good….real good in fact. Part of it was ….well. Here I’ll tell ya.
Lets see …Friday late afternoon I’m off heading south to go pick up j’s child number 1. Chit chat on the way home, she’s happy to be out of work and ready to unwind. When we get to the house she chats me up for a few more moments and then heads upstairs. All I have to do to get ready is strip off my jeans and put on a skirt. So I decided ….(grin) iiiiiii decided to sit and watch tv while waiting for M and j to arrive home. I thought I could operate the entertainment system but …… um nope not going to happen for me today. (grin) I told the girls I couldn’t operate the system and they said I could come up and watch tv with them. (smirk) I ask ….”ARE YOU SURE?” they in return …”YEEES!” So up I went. Number 2 child went to take her shower and number one gave me the remote while she messed around on her computer. (BONUS lol) I picked something light and fluffy and something I so don’t normally get to watch….and that was ….you guessed it lol Rocko’s Modern Life. (shrugs) Ah I know I should of picked something educational and then I’d have something interesting to chat to M about ….(hangs her head low and grins) I’ll have to talk about things like that with M at another time I think. When they finally do get home we all change and off we went for another night out …..(smiles)
The place we were going to is the old bar that we used to have the old munches at. They made it a really big cool place. When you first come in the bar is right there and then to the right is a nice sized dancing area. Then off behind the bar area there is the grill with food and then to the left corner behind the bar with a pool table which brings you back to the front of the bar. Really roomy especial because its in Vermont, most places aren’t so big or put together as nicely. Then again I have never really been to all the places out here ….yet lol. The people in the place seemed really f’n cool. For me it was like old times with the bike. Tons of Harley types you only catch late at night and at the right spots. Their little hidden places where everybody has fun. Other than that the place was cool. The band was really good cause they played like really great old 70 music. That’s my FAAAAV. (wink) I finally ended up dancing and got to chat it up with bunch of old friends and had a really nice time.
When we got home I think we all went right to bed …. It was late and I was sort of tired and was allowed to head off to bed. M made use of me for a while then headed off as well.
So now its Saturday. I get woken up and taken into the dungeon. I’m blindfolded and flogged and the juices flow. M works on me trying to get me to cum. Its so frustrating … I’m so hot and so f’n horney and it just doesn’t’ stop I keep cumming and dripping and I have to be so frantic and done before I can pop the big one off for him. Its like make me really ache and I’ll cum for you. (Thought for a while about this ::PAUSE::)
Maybe………… I think I figured out something. I think I think about what he could do at times rather than the here and now portion. Hmm. We’ll have to make a test and see and then ….. well maybe we can do a graph showing how long did it take me to cum and out of how many times. (smirk) Or maybe I can simply share with him my thoughts on that I’m not paying attention to the right thing at that moment. I mean I do but maybe I should really try to zone in more? Scrutinizing myself that’s a killer of a past time for me. I manage it well though and simply try to do my best and that’s all I can do.
So flogged, whipped, sexually molested and …more pictures. He went and registered me as his slave along with j on a web site and then there is another one that’s rather cool that will have pics like the ones he puts in the Journal I write.
I don’t think I’ve ever really written about the way the Journal comes to be before. But the gist of it is that I write it up then send it to M and he looks it over and posts it and placing in what ever pictures he likes to and that’s that. Nice and simple.
Another thing that I’m going to share with M is that I think I’m conditioning myself to panic slightly when he puts his hands on my head while I’m sucking his dick. Though what I’ve been doing is learning to relax and stop and breath when and if I start to choke. I read an article once about how to work through the gag reflex and totally stop yourself from gagging. For me it only happens when there is a over powering smell other than his skin or like an errant hair. Lol which is like all the time. But seriously I think I’m a sucksess story for sure. (wink) I wonder what the real percentage is of woman that just absolutely adores being able to suck cock. And for me its not just any old cock either. (wink)
My mind is shot. I think the rest of Saturday was spent with me joining M with recycling and then we went to gets bulbs for the yard and then…AH HA!! At some point in the afternoon we were back at the house enjoying the warmth of the day and M and I were wondering if the cell was chilly or not and headed up there to it. We went inside and M molested me for a few moments and as we were heading out he turns and quickly closes the door right in my face. Stopped me dead in my tracks and I nearly walked right into the door he totally surprised me. He left me there for a while and later returned to put up some cuffs and strung me up then left me for a while again. He then later returned and this time was back and had some torturous implements as well. He was flogging and or whipping me and I did turn my head once quickly to look at him and immediately turned back and lowered my head and went with where he wanted me to go. I had this little stick in my hand through most of this and he later snatched it up and caned my back and butt I think with it as well. When he was through whipping me and such he pushed me up against the wall of the cell and now started in on his little kunt. He just went on and on and time slipped away and I ended up being extremely spacey loving all he wanted to do to me. He brought me to my knees in there and let me show my appreciation to him by pleasuring him with my mouth and I melted yet again into a sweet and very satisfying bliss. I had a nice bump on my forehead and my ear that was pressing up against the cell wall was all white and it was delicious to be slightly marred both mentally and physically. When he was through with me he had taken some pictures and told me to dress and then came back to collect me. And now I remember that on this night I was going to be going to Sir and I’s pot luck dinner for our rec. shooting club to raise money.
Sir was trying to decide earlier in the week and I told him if he’d like to go I’d attend the dinner for both of us. One of our cats is in renal failure so someone has to be there to feed him. Its worth it though because the cat is happy and cute and heck ….and so it goes right?. Sir liked the sound of that and planned all the places that he wanted to make quick stops at and I got him his ferry reservations and made sure he was all good to go. So Friday morning when I seen him off to work I wouldn’t be seeing him till Sunday night. And my mind immediately started to imagine all the delicious evil sinister possibilities of a poor lowly slave girl left all by her lonesome self up thar at Moose Creek Hollow. (smirk)
So its satruday and I’m with M tooling around and I kept mentioning the possibility of a Mr. Stranger Danger being at my house when I come home that night. I planned and said that Mr. Stranger Danger wouldn’t be looked for or shot at and that the house would be accessible and who ever he was damn he was going to be the luckiest man on earth. (grin) So here and there through my time with M that’s what I talked about with him. I was realy realy excited about the thought of it …. So so much unkown it was sickeningly sadistically sweet.
So I’m ready to leave and in the jeep when j pulls up and we all chat for a moment or two and I felt something down near my leg and when I look down there is what looks like a large manila envelope under my seat. I’m like what’s this? M smiles and says that when I get home from the dinner I’ll have to email him for further instructions and to not open it. (grin) And off I go …. All a flutter in my head. I stop on the way to get the ingredients I need for what I was bringing and then zoom home do what I need to do and go to the dinner. It was great I had a good time blah blah blah……LOL and then by like 9 15ish I’m look crawling out of my skin and just need to GOOOOO!
I get home run around the house turning on lights though I did leave sufficient lights on in and around the house. I didn’t see any strange cars and didn’t look around the house either because our other cat minoosh was acting normal so I was pretty confident that I was still alone. I ran upstairs and went on line and started to check and write my email when M popped on. He thought I would be home earlier and that it was rather late now. (frown how aweful) j was falling asleep on the couch and he was going to put her to bed. (Ohhh mmmrgh) This sucks…..this realy sucks. But instead I suck it up and ask about the envelope regardless and he says I should wear it to bed. And I did. What was inside the envelopt was an aweful aweful f’n easter outfit. I mean god durn thing all dry rotted and tight as all hell on my ribs and I had to hem and haw my way through zippering it. And I have on a garter belt little white panties and stockings. To sleep in….with no one here but me and my idiot Easter dress wearing self . But he wanted me to and there it is. I turned off all the lights and headed upstairs and climbed into bed with my sulky stupidly dressed self and alternated channels on tv from head bangers ball and a power rock music station. I wanted angry music with lots of anghnst and turmoil and gut wrenching feeling cause at this point I was feeling I don’t even have words for it….everything was flashing through my head. Go watch a movie like The secretary …get up and go online….go outside and take a walk in the dark. Crap …instead I just listened and felt the music and blared it as loud as I could at times to realy feel it. And sulk in happiness. Minoosh my precious little puddin girl cat is laying with me being my pal and plop. Off the bed she goes. Time passes songs pass and little noise is heard from another part of the house, but we have cats and that’s normal.
I hear a creak and a jangle and from out of no where BLAM he’s on top of me and on my back while my glasses are crushed and ripped off my face. I start to fight and then relax and panic and think what am I supposed to do sort of and he’s doing his thing to restrain me. I think he starts to pull me off the bed and onto the floor and I kind of got a chance to turn to look at this man. (smirk) He had on all black and a black hood and he just looked slightly shorter and slightly different in the body to be M. And all I could think about was all the guys at the club who new where Sir was. And then I started to doubt things. I now felt that if this person gets me hog tied or realy bound up I’m realy realy not going to be able to do anything and WHO THE FUCK IS THIS GUY!!! I still say nothing and now start to try and get free and struggle and pull free finaly not caring about anything but getting free and away unharmed. I’d wig out then relax and as soon as I felt a loop hole I desperately try to free myself yet again …. It was a constant battle for a while and at one point I lifted him right off the ground and was going to leave or something and he swept my foot right out from under me and with the stockings on I couldn’t get a grip and down I went. CRASH and more pulls and fight in me and try and try and pheww I’m getting realy pooped. He finaly gets me bound up good and tight and throughs this little like black sac over my head. And almost immediately I can’t realy breath and CHRIST I can’t take the thing off….OH GOD…. I CAN”T TAKE THE THING OFF ….and I scream inside I CAN’T BREATH I CAN”T BREATH. I’ve never in my life felt anything like this before and I still couldn’t say his name or break what was happening. Sometimes while being used I can calm myself down and work with what ever was happening, be it pain pleasure choking, even wearing hoods. I love them ….but this time it wasn’t the same. Something felt terribly wrong and I realy realy felt panic, fear, total overwhelming desperation and I yelled out to what I think equaled “ PLEASE PLEASE GAWD TAKE THIS OFF MY HEAD, OH GAAWD PLEEEEASE” I was seriously cracking. I heard him come back and he took it off my head and the air that hit me was like pure gold. I felt like I couldn’t breath in deep enough, I realy needed that. He left me there again and went away down stairs and came back with a bag. And then he snooped around the room looking into draws and such being burglarish. He commented on some naughty pictures he found saying something about someone being very naughty. He then I think took off his hood and went to work on the dress ripping it here and cutting it there and even just tearing it open with his bare hands …… and it all made sense to me. So he slapped me about the breast with this leather clad hands and tormented me with the very sharp menacing knife and I was in heaven. Its one of the best things that’s ever been done to me. After when he started to take us down back to earth again he had to rip all the tape off of me and out of my hair. And then before he completely untied me he used my ass ….poor lowly slave left to be nothing more than used and unable to do anything but accept ….. and well enjoy. (grin) Very intense night …..very intense. When he finaly freed me he had me show him the place where I kneel for him before my baths and had me suck his dick on the spot which was so nice of him. I can’t wait now to take a bath and kneel there thinking of the way he feels in my mouth and uses me to his total liking. MMMM. He then led me back to the bed and had me on my knees and crouch down into a compact little bundle and stay there till he’s gone then I can get into bed to sleep. He was off as quietly as he came and I waited till I thought I heard his car then climbed into bed. I think I slept immediately.
The next morning I thought back and felt like I evolved from that. I realized that I did have the ability in my mind to go into what’s happening and not think … Oh its just him he’s not going to……sort of thing. But instead lose myself and succumb to the actual supposed circumstances. I talked about this on Sunday when I went down to help M in the woods. He must think I’m crazy with all the things I tell him that I think. (smile) But its important that he realy understand me and how I work I think. And he does like that I do that,,, though he laughs a lot when I tell him stuff. (grin) I told him that I can easily now place myself into a predicament even if he simply just like tackled me from out of know where ….. now I know in my head at that instance that its on. This is what’s happening play your part.
Another thing I thought about and realized was that he always tells me when he’s using a knife to torment me that “You don’t really know still if I’m going to cut you or not?” and he torments me and gets me going. But what I shared with him on Sunday is that …..i know at some point you will cut me. And he will do possibly anything to me … anything that he wants. The thing I don’t know is all the how hard will it be will it hurt will it this that and the other thing. That’s my way of thinking now. He will do what he wants to me to get what he wants from me. Its hard to explain but I now won’t doubt anything.
So Sunday was a good day to work with him and tell him all my thoughts about the previous night. I would ask if its going to happen again and never got any real replies. Delicious. j made her some great meaty sauce for the up coming party and then it was time to say good bye. I get to come back over on tues. to do some house work so j doesn’t have so much to do before the party and then on thurs. I’m off with some ladies in the area to NYC for the Leather Leadership Conference. M’s allowed me to play and I really don’t feel the need or want to play with someone else. The only thing I have considered was to be a cane test dumby for one of my friends friend. She’s never caned anyone and needs a victim. Ohh ohh me me. But that’s about it for now. Phew ….. what a weekend. Till next dear dear Journal ……….slave n
My GOD I almost forgot the best part……on Saturday night while M still had me bound up he brought me to orgasm and my word. I’ll make a note to check the foundation. Oh and another thing just came to me (smiles) Sunday before I headed out the M’s place I walked though the house hoping to find a souvenir of some sort and all that was left was an empty beer bottle on the mantle in our bed room and a small area of dirt where he made his entrance. Then as I was walking through the bed room I looked down and seen a round little white something and it was the inside cardboard cylinder that holds medical tape in a roll. (smiles happily)
Oh M said the dress was in the dungeon and I could have a piece or the whole thing as a memento too (grin) So after finding the tape thing I went outside and walked to the point of the house where M said he entered and tied my shoes and then tracked him back up to this car and actually found the place he got out and stuff. That was pretty fun. (grin) I was like a CSI slave. Later that day I told him a tracked him…. He laughed shook his head …. “Tracked me huh.” (smirk) and so it goes.
ps you can always look at my journal in my profile and see the pictures he posted |
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Monday, March 27, 2006
Well its that time again dear Journal. Time to recollect and reflect. Time to observe and be observed. I’ll start off on Friday and ramble on about things to the best of my ability. (eg) Well its Friday morning and I’ve done all the grocery shopping that needed to be done during the week. There’s a ton of food all ready cooked in the refer for Sir to re heat and when I return on Sunday I have a pot roast which will be a nice yummy meal for us. I went off to the gym and I think was hit on by this old lady that goes to the gym regularly. Come to think of it though I didn’t see her in today. (smirk) I was going to tan and was teasing the guy that works there saying to him “If you don’t give me enough time to change ect. and you start the machine before I’m ready I’m not going to be one of the nice people that get completely dressed and come out to tell you, I’m going to be naked.” I’ll scare the other people in here…((you get the picture)) Well he laughs it up along with the older woman and another couple working the weight machines behind us all. The next thing I know she’s yammerin on about paying to tan naked … why anyone can come tan on my land naked anytime they want and heck they ….they can even dust naked if they wanted to. LOL ((I stop and look at her and say “from tanning to dusting…dusting naked?)) And away I went. (smirk) After that I went and picked up a nice arrangement of man flowers for Sir. It would be nice for him to come home to a super nice smelling house and something visual and purty too. Ok so I’m home now the house is cleaned, he has his clothes, and food, I’m all packed and I’m off.
On the way over to Master’s I slow down as I start to pass my most favorite of places in the world. It’s a little shack right up on the side of the road and on this stretch is the only building for at least 2 plus miles going in either direction. At night it especially looks nice because of the way the headlights light up only a small portion and it looks so dark in there. For some reason I think of The Blare Witch Project at the end when the guys mumbling in the corner and she starts to scream and scream . I just like the way it looks its perfect for something dastardly I think.
I get there and ready dinner, chit chat briefly with kid number 1, straighten out my room a little bit, wash a few of the bathrooms for j and then take a shower. When they arrived home and we ate M took some pictures of us all sitting at the table and I think they captured the mood wonderfully. As a treat afterwards j and I were taken to the movies by M to see V for Vendetta. M made us were our ankle cuffs to the show because there wasn’t enough time for him to take them off. (grin) mm hm. When we came home M proceeded to play with us. One minute I was near the dining room being stretched forward and up and back and the next I was in a little upside down end table sort of contraption and I think at anther time I was leaning over the coffee table too. I think it turned out that he was doing similar things to us that night … the one here then there and vise versa. Lots of ouchies and mmm’s and loads of fun for me being that I realy got to work my body out … at one point I was up on my shoulder blades and arched I think…lol I have no idea. It was a great night and before going off to bed M used me in all the ways he wanted to and I have to really learn to cum when I have the chance. It must look crazy to see as a bystander what M and I look like when he f*cks my face. (smiles) I just remembered that he did take a few pictures of him using me like that. Though like a movie of it would be really wild to watch…. I think …maybe. That falls under the I’m not sure I’d like to see me doing that category. I love doing everything … don’t get me wrong ((veg)) But when it comes to looking at myself .. yuck yuck…. I’m to critical with myself. After that I went right to bed and in the morning M brought me up to snuggle. ((blur blur blur))
I was on the floor at one point being hit over and over with something wicked and heavy. I think I was even struggling to get away which put me into helpless mode for me to just escape which isn’t normally me but when the mood is right it all fits. Unless the feed back from M is different the results with the way we fill each part is wonderful. After that I was in that weird upside down coffee table thing and restrained this way and that and it was all I could do to keep a grip and make it through. So many points of discomfort and only minutes to hold in a manageable spot to alleviate just one point of pain. It was intense and I’m very greatful he took me there.
Later he had me work outside with him around the pond trimming back brush while j went to the gym and had her hair done and everyone had a lovely afternoon. We all got ready and headed over to a meeting and after chatting it up for a while j and I brought up the subject of M possibly taking us to a bar and leaving us there then coming in later to like “pick us up” ((eg)) It was a fun night out and I even got asked to dance as soon as we arrived. I’m standing there with j waiting for her drink and he asks me…I’m so shy LOL I know ….its soo stupid…. Put me in any place that’s lifestyle and I’m naked at the drop of a hat … and whip me and I’ll dance for you till the cows cum home. But ask me to dance at a bar and I’m like ARGH …. I even shared with j how my knees were shaking I was so like wired up. Out of my element indeed. To many rules to many people to offened. (grin)
Once we got home we sat down and talked about the day and shared a beer and they asked me to come sleep with them and make a M sandwich. Oh yes yes yes thank you … I just love M sandwiches. So upstairs we went and while j was in the shower M decided to once again push me into that try to escape get away mod. He used some whip on my backside and thighs and he was merciless in my minds eye and a few times I wanted to climb the door jamb or rip it off and when I turned around to look at him I had to turn back quickly to remind myself its what he wants and what he wants from me. Tense taunting turmoil and yet teasing. I could do nothing but drop my head in the end oblivious to most anything once he was through. After he was clean he let me down and took me to bed with them or maybe he did something else…(shrugs eg) I was told to suck his cock and while I was doing that he brought j to orgasm a few times which was really hot and connected us all together. After that M ended up doing a wonderful hazy screw with me, the one that your all melded together a wash with moans and heavy breaths and every movement counts and makes you dizzy. I don’t know how long we were there like that but it was wonderful to be there with him at his total will. At one point I did cum for him… J
The next morning I ended up chatting it up with j for some time, which isn’t the usual way, we do things. Most mornings M and I are the early birds but once I started chatting with j she didn’t moan and want to sleep. It was really fun and silly and was a wonderful way of starting any day in my book. We all went out for bagels then I headed home to be with Sir.
Today I started off by taking some belts and wound up tethering up my thighs to my calves. I took a few pics and sent them to M as a thinking of you gesture and later he allowed me to piss off the front porch and I should of taken a picture mid stream because it sure was a winner in my book. Though I did take some great after shots so he could judge the distance… ((eg)) Other than that its back to the usual the house is pretty much clean the laundry is pretty much done and so’s my Journal entry for today ………till next Dear Handsome Journal ……………..slave n
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the sexual sultry side
Well its Friday March 17th and its time to head down to be with M and j. I was told before heading down there that I needed to pick up child #2 at her place of employment and also what was needed to be done for dinner by M. I love having tasks and choirs. Give me a job and I’m happy as a clam. Its funny it could be cleaning, cooking, doing laundry anything that would normally be such a menial task, but when I’m told to do it oh it turns into something lovely. The one thing that I have to do when I’m told to do something is to know when to stop. Its like I finish and then I wonder …. Is that good enough? Can I do this or that better. Most often its not a problem and I’ve found that for me its best to simply ask if I’m troubled in anyway with the results. So before leaving the house to head out to M’s I once again made sure Sir had everything he needed to be comfortable in my absence and away I went. After picking up #2 we went home and I started to get din din ready with the child’s help. Which was really fun. She’s a little bit rambunctious and well heck I can handle a personality like that just fine. After dinner was ready and we all ate supper we got to go and play some candlepin bowling. I don’t know what my score was but I had a really nice time. Before we left I even got to play a simulated shooting game (grin) and j did this wild ass rafting type thing. Maybe another time I’ll try that bad boy. When we got home M and j and I sat on the couch and relaxed for a little while and enjoyed a beer together then headed up to bed. It was decided that I sleep in their room due to the drop in temperature and when we got in the room I was anxious to set up my bed on the floor and I was just standing there waiting. So M started to undress me and then tied me spread eagle on the bed so that I was lying on my back. Now this is where it gets fuzzy …. I have marks on my thighs and my breasts. I remember M squeezing the life out of my breasts at times and possibly using a slapper type thing or something on me but other than that its just a dream now. He did work on my clit again and right at this very second I can’t for the life of me remember if I came or not. Its funny because sometimes all I have to do is ask him and once he tells me or even starts to tell me it comes rushing back to me. Like when your drunk and your friends fill you in and it all pours back into your head. I love that feeling. Not the drunk one lol the him filling me in one. (eg) I did get a really special treat and that was when he decided to use me vaginaly and analy. Drives me crazy being bound like that especially now that I’m getting all my core strength back because now no matter how hard I stretch and pull and try to lift myself up it does no good. (eg) At times while being used like that and being put into a situation where I’m so not in control I feel like I’m going to go out of my mind. I love it. And I’m so so very grateful. Thank you again M …. Thank you so much for the use. I think because I’m not around him all the time and merely operating on my interpretation of what he would and does expect of me I’m just so out of my mind when I do get called to be there. Its like out of simple service and slipping into a deeper slave mode. I’m also honing in my skills as servant to Sir and I’d like to think and hope that I’m doing a good job of it. But when I’m ready to head out the servant part of me stays and what emerges as well is the sexual sultry side. I never expect or assume anything though I do hope inside quietly and look forward to just being near him. We do chat on the computer daily and he monitors my tasks regularly. And everything is just ducky and I feel then that I can’t do enough to please him. I’m so appreciative of the life I’m living. Sometimes when it feels vanilla I stop and think about what everyone wants and needs me to do and that it has really nothing to do with me and its all about making everyone happy and then I’m the most happiest. Sorry my writing is so garbled. (smirk) Now getting back to the bed. He used me for a while like that then tormented his (mine?) clit some more and drove me absolutely out of my mind with the way he breathes into my ear and bites and mm its like big electric f*ck all over again. And then he just totally blows my mind with the number one most special treat in the world. He came up and rode my face and then came on my face and in my mouth, god I couldn’t swallow his seed fast enough. All the other times I’ve been allowed to drink his seed it has been squeezed out from a used condom into my mouth and even then I’m greatful. But now with this new and joyous treat you’d think I was dying of thirst in the driest of deserts. I guess he really did listen to what I was telling him when I mentioned the post kaya did. Once again thank you M from the bottom of my heart for everything that you do and give to a girl. I think it was after this that he tried to use a pse unit on me which really did nothing for me other than make me itch inside and clench and unclench and clench and … well you get the picture. For me if it’s not a real live cock I don’t tend to like anything in me or rather its not a matter of like or dislike its just what works for me. After he was through amusing himself with me and released me, it was off to bed … I nestled in on my little spot of heaven on the floor and waited for morning and possibly the chance to lay near him once again. Come morning time the first one up to pee is j and then OH (smiles smiles) M wakes and passes by and I wait anxiously and he returns and passes by yet again. (smiles smiles) And yes thank you again so much M he tells me to come and lay down. We rested for a while and I pet j’s head and she responded with a sleepy “meow” (grin) And then he nuzzled me and teased and teased me … I’m not sure what he does to my nipples I’ve never really watched but the slightest softest touch sends my body into the instant electric f*ck feeling once again. And the teasing and the agonizing relentless closeness to cuming is constant and repeated over and over always so close then gone so close then gone. I swear he’s doing it on purpose now. (smirk) And then when he either tires or simply feels like it he brings me up and lets me slip right over the edge into that place we all love to go. The orgasms at that point never stop until he does. Its shear and utter heaven that best describes those moments and I’m left again feeling so totally and thoroughly greatful. A simple thank you can never be enough for the way I feel. I almost forgot another simple yet important factor that is nice in reminding me of my place and that is when he locks the cuffs on me. I know it may sound silly to some but for me it’s a wonderful reminder of my place. He cuffs my wrists to my ankles while he showers and leaves me there to kneel and wait and I melt yet again ……..till next dear journal……….slave n |
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Cum Wooden Pony
Sir and I headed out to go to a party and it was really nice. M and j came on Saturday and we got to play a couple of times. And I got to wrestle with a tree. (smirk) I am so god damn lucky to be living this life of mine. After asking M a few times if I could wrestle with this mighty oak he said yes. YEAH!! LOL I’m standing there and I’m looking at him and saying to myself “what the hell are you thinking, you can’t wrestle him.” He’s like a big swinging door and you’re a little tiny door stop … a little stiff wedge that you jamb under the door. LOL But needless to say I wanted to wrestle with him (veg) So I get undressed and he reneges by keeping on his pants (frowns) he was going to have on his briefs … not to worry. (grin) So I like jump on his back and cling and he rolls and I desperately grab and he squishes and I’m squashed and UNCLE ….so I’m standing there again panting looking at this mass of man on his hands and knees and I think and I think about “wtf this is so dumb but sooooo fun” JUMP onto his back and he’s up standing and I’m a little static sheet from the dryer no one ever notices that one. Lol And then he’s down and I’m grasping again and clinging and pinned and I’m spent. I played once already that night and damn I was pooped. Not that It mattered I was never ever really going to win this man. (veg). After I said my thank you’s M and I went back into the main house and relaxed and j got to snuggle with him and I snuggled on a near by couch to finish up on something I’d been reading earlier. I’m not sure how much later but M motioned for me to follow him and he brought me back out to play. Once he started working me I had this strange feeling like I wasn’t going to be finished mentally. Maybe physically but more often than not I can find the strength somewhere deep inside to carry on or at least I think that. (grin) He didn’t put on the blindfold on me and so while I was strung up standing there I could open my eyes and see him and wham that would bring me back totally… I could peer a couple sitting on the couch watching and not much else. Just M mostly and M and M. (veg) So he laid into me for what felt like endless time and then placed that weird rubber long thing up between my legs. At this point my calves were calling it quits I’d drop down and argh the rubber thing was there with its relentless bite so up I’d go on tip toes and try to relieve things. I’d hold my arms higher because I thought that was relieving the height of the rubber thing but that’s really hard on tip toes … then down and up and down then up. Then comes M again wanting to bring me to orgasm. Arched tense driving I go with him trying to will it out, then trying to force it out, wanting to bring it out. I like slip slid into that constant cum cum cum thing again and I want the other one for him. Come on …come one pleaaaase. OHHH wait. OHHH there. “Oh please please don’t stop ….pleeease. don’t stop pleeeease. May I cum? M says “Yes you may.” KA-PLOW KA-PLOW as he’s holding me there arched, taunt, tensed and shuddering as they rip through me again and again. Time’s gone I’m gone … its M and that. The that I refer to is me though I’m just a shuddering, panting, heaving mass of will for him. He can keep me there forever I feel at that point. Its so hazy and so dreamy intense and when it stops it drops you like a freight train and I’m left in a slump of mush just an utterly charged up heap of flesh. Content to just simply (be)………till next Dear Journal ……..slave n |
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Resolution
On this night I went over to M’s and j’s home and we chit chatted for a bit and then we all headed up stairs to my delight. When M announced it was time to head off to bed I was going to be ok with simply heading off to bed but there was some part of me that needed closure and a coming together affirmative action sort of thing. I think M and j seen it in my actions posturing or on my face cause M then decided to have us all go upstairs. He had j and I stand before the foot of the bed and then after having put on the cuffs he had us stand and stretched out are arms up above our heads. It was really nice to be close to everyone again. (smiles) The one and only down side that I can see and feel when he has us tied up together like that is it kind of keeps you out of a certain head space because for me I’m always thinking of the other person. Yes I’ll admit I do love to move when being played with. It never takes me out of a certain mode it just is what I do. But regardless of the fact it was very nice. I’m not sure what he was using on us at this exact moment but I do remember the warmth emanating off of j’s body and every time I would feel it I thought I was pushing to much on her side and would arch my back and arch and arch…..(I need to work on that) I know I was all stretched out and I couldn’t imagine if she was so I was simply compensating and compensating. After some time slipped by I noticed that j wasn’t up there with me any long and that M was manipulating my nether regions (veg) What he actually was doing was working me like I need and love to worked. Paces what paces? Put me through them please all of them. I remember him rubbing and working on my clit like crazy and I really really wanted to cum. So I strained and stretched and arched and tried my best to push every fiber in my body to the fullest extent that’s its willing to go to reach in and have that elusive orgasm find him. I think I was breathing in a different way at that point. It was a really high pitched fast jerky moan I think … hard to hear now but it was intense along with everything else I was feeling. So he continues to manipulate and work his kunt and wants to coax it out of her and rip it up and out of her …. And he says in his voice “You can cum for me.” His voice never ever sounds the same at any other point in time to me. I bet mine and everyone else’s doesn’t either. That voice to me is the real me … that heavy panting just full of feeling voice and way of being is the way I am most often and have to constantly keep it in check. If M even comes close to me and never mind if he touches me in any sort of miniscule way it slips out suddenly and I have to scramble to pull it all back inside of me. (grins) It’s like dropping your purse and everything falls out onto the ground and meanwhile crowds of people are passing and you hurry to pick up your now very treasured items. Hurry so that know one sees what you have inside of there. Needless to say a girl did not cum. M brought me down to where I sleep and said his good nights and I knew then at that point that there would be no play in the morning. Don’t ask me how or why it just fit the scenario and I knew. So I somewhat sullenly laid down and went to bed. I left my panties on and thigh highs just to like affirm to me the fact that things totally didn’t feel right yet. In the am sure enough M came down to wake me at last and he was dressed for work. I knew it … but I was ok with it. After collecting my things it was time to head out. I wanted to take j out for coffee and a bagel but M stated she was going to sleep in a little. Hurumph. Later after her and I talked I found out she was getting up as M and I drove away. RAIN CHECK!! |
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Women's weekend
Hi there again Dear Journal. Its been a long time …..(holds head down) I know. I’m sorry but more often than not when I write, things in my life have to be relatively calm, cool and quiet and well …. (shrugs) Heck …. I’m not always in control of such things.(grin) But as you can see now by my typing all is wonderful at Moose Creek Hollow. (smiles) When Sir and I were building the house that’s the name we had to use so if a 911 call were made they’d know where to come. (grin) And so it goes… Saturday March 4th This weekend I had the delightful treat of going down to MA to attend a conference on learning the ins and outs of putting on an Outdoors’ Women event. Not only was it a real nice drive but my traveling companion was pretty great too. She and I belong to a club up here and want to try to entice more woman to come on out and play. (smirk) So off we go …no husbands (in her case) no Masters or Sir’s in mine. She knows dribs and drabs about my life and has read the Beauty books, though I tell her there’s a whole lotta fantasy in them’s thar books….(eg) But needless to say we had a great time. The Resort ((oh I know what a big word)) was posh and this was my friends first time going way without her hubby. It was so funny. I for once got to tease and torment someone. All the ladies I meet there were wonderful people and I truly learned a lot and can’t wait to see them again. The Resort ((there’s that word again)) staff was fun and some even said quietly how they liked my necklace (smirk). Me and the girl I went with never did get the chance to go for a swim. We sat and listened to the lecture that lasted 5 hours with no real break in between. Lol When I got home I was telling Sir gesh they need some leadership skills for holding a conference. ((grin)) Yeah, so no swimming we just ate afterwards and then had a couple of cocktails and by like 8 I was ready to go get snuggy. So off to our suite we went lol (wink) … that should be sweet cause that’s what I am. LMFAO I had one heck of a time staying up past 9 … I just didn’t want to go to bed to early and then be up like way before dawn even thinks of getting her butt crack up. We woke up jabbered some more with everyone and then headed on the road. And a good time was had by all. |
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Friday, March 03, 2006
Well yesterday was a busy day. I called my mom to find out when my sister from IL would be there. She’s coming down to visit my Aunt that’s in the hospital up in Boston. She said she was there and told me the time they’d be heading to the hospital so that I could meet them. Once I figured out everything I had to do the race was on. I got Phil all settled and seen him off to work and then I zoomed over to the gym and did a maniacal work out. (grin) I ran home and jumped in the shower and then was off on the road. It worked out great cause we all got there at the same time due to my mom locking her keys in her car LOL. The visit with my aunt was pleasant … she really didn’t expect us all to show up like that and she laughed a lot so that was good. I can’t stand seeing people hurting like she is. Her body is so fragile its like its just not working any more. She’s had rheumatoid arthritis since her early 20’s and now she’s in her 50’s to give you an idea of what she’s been going through. So now her skin is like paper and her hands are all warped and her feet and she has a fused knee which she sustained a compound fracture to, its like man enough for her. You think things like that belong happening to the bad people not the ones that have nothing but good in their life. She raised her daughter from when she was about 3ish when her husband was lost at sea as a fisherman and really never dated or settled with anyone else. It just stinks. But I got to make her laugh and got to give her a HUGE hug which I love doing. ((smiles)) I knew her leg hurt her but I was like ((shrug)) …..”can I give you a hug auntie?” she was like “you betcha” made my day and I think her’s as well.
After that I drove back home I was pooped. I took care of what Phil needed and then excused myself to go and lie down. Went na nights and slept like a rock. In the AM woke up and once again did what I needed to do to take care of Phil and then went online and did the house billing and banking Matters and then looked up directions for myself . This weekend another woman from my area shooting club and myself will being heading down to MA for a bunch of seminar’s on how to put on a outdoors woman event. It sounds like its going to be a lot of fun. The place its being held at is supposed to be like a resort of sorts. I’d love to get a message but I wouldn’t know if they would on top of my bruises. Which to me isn’t a problem. Oh well I’ll feel the people there out and go with it. ((grin)) Which brings me to this.
When I was at the gym this morning I wanted to know from this guy Chris that works there whether or not Gatorade would be good for fatigued or sore muscles. So he’s standing there with some guy on a weight machine while I asked him this. And he says to me … well what kind of exercise where you doing to do that to your muscles. ((eg)) I paused … I held off saying what I would normally say and that would be the truth. Lol So instead I said “just life” the guy on the machine ((big burly dude)) busts out laughing and says “well at least she’s honest” it was so funny. Later I went to Chris and apologized for reacting the way I did and said that I felt the truth might have been inappropriate. He’s very nice. ((eg))
But that’s about it other than the mundane other choirs to do now and my journal. I don’t mind the journal I just need to really monitor myself otherwise I tend to go on and on and on. ((grin)) so till next Dear Journal……………slave n |
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Wednesday, March 01, 2006
Hello again dear Journal. Its wend. Morning almost afternoon and I’m back at Sir’s home. I’ve just gotten the house back into shape and the only choir for now is the laundry and bills. It’s a nice feeling coming back and not being all wound up and anxious or worried. The feeling I get now going back and forth from Master Calvin’s home and Sir’s home is a real sense of calm and them letting me simply be me. For some people the notion of caring for two house would seem so strange and quite possibly to much house work for one to handle. Everyone is realy fair with what they expect of me and I always look forward to doing most anything. ((grin) most ((there’s that word again)). But seriously, I am so happy with the way things are going. Now I’ll try and give a run down of the past few days for you. ((smiles))
Well change in plans for the little run down I was going to do and so now I’m faced with a challenge. What I’ll do instead is write about certain instances that happened while with Master Calvin and slave june at my other home ((smiles))
One thing I’ve learned is that its hard to writhe and wriggle when your tied face to face with june. One night Master Calvin had tied she and I so that we were face to face. I think our arms were tied up above our heads and we definitely had a rope going up through our ass and pussy’s that lead from one to another. When I get tormented if I’m allowed I tend to gyrate and twist and turn … I guess you could call it like dancing or grinding ((grin)) what ever it is the person connected to you can feel it and its forced to dance with you. Poor june got the brunt of the rope twisting and pulling against her too ((grin)). Lesson learned.
Another thing that should be talked about is the night I was totally objectified. I was in the bedroom with MC and j and we were all settling down for the night when MC told me to “come” and moved to go down into the dungeon. I went with him and once I was brought down there was immediately placed on a spanking bench and whipped until I was a mass of welts and tears. I was then taken from the bench and forced to crouch down on the floor while MC shoved a butt plug up my anus and then brought out to the crate and closed up while MC went upstairs to take his nightly shower. After some time he came back down let me out and removed the plug and then brought me back upstairs. They had set up my sleeping matt and sleeping bag and MC had me climb in for the night. I think he chained me to the bed like usual but I’m not sure. So now at this point I’m quite fuzzy quite content and then I hear them together on the bed and it hits me. “I’m never going to be able to have that any longer …. That snuggle time for bed, chit chat closeness.” I hunkered down and was realy disturbed but I was soothed in my head in knowing when the next day was here I could talk to MC and j and discuss my feelings. That’s the one thing I keep doing and doing is opening up and letting them know me… all of me. But that little thought was in my head when we were talking about the possibility of finding a permanent home with MC and j. that’s a whole nother story that was taken care of though talking and communicating and is worked out day by day. Right now as it stands I am servant to Sir(phil) and slave to Master Calvin and they make my schedule. ((smile)) but that’s were my head was at … poor slave made to listen and dwell and yearn and think and think. Which then lead to this.
After I talked to MC and j about all the things I thought of that night and how everything made me feel, I went on to tell them how I thought it would be good for my headspace to be made to sleep in another part of the house and not be the needy wanton slave and instead be the on demand knowing her place and functional slave. MC said he would take that into consideration. It ended up on another night I did get to sleep down in the med play room on the hospital bed and it was really nice. Chilly but nice ((grin)) I can’t wait for the warmer weather. But I was sent off to bed and snuggled down and in the morning when I woke up at my usual butt crack of down I headed upstairs. It was so funny I came in up through the dungeon and j is like “mumble mumble … still sleeping” and I’m like “don’t care I’m up want to be near Master now.” So I laid my head on the side of the bed near him and was very content and then laid down on the side of the bed …. It was chilly and hard but he had his hand on my head and neck and that alone made everything worth it. Later he allowed me up to lay near him and heaven settled in. I confessed once to MC about how addictive it could be for me to be allowed to sleep up in the bed near him and that that to me was considered such a special treat. Makes me feel like the most specialist, honored, grateful slave girl in the world. You’d think the simple act of sleeping in a bed wouldn’t be so grandiose. ((sighs and grins)) its funny when I do sleep in their room and I’m lying there when I wake up in the morning listening to hear his morning sounds and waiting and waiting to see his face appear and possibly him motion for me to get up and come and lie down. ((smiles fondly)) just his words “come” or “up” or “down” sends warmth through me. Happy happy happy little slave girl.
Last Friday I think it was I was there and it was j’s last day at her job. So while everyone except the kids were at work I was their to clean. Heaven. Give me a duty and I melt. Tasks I love tasks. Clean clean scrub scrub. LoL. I’m not sure how it ended up in my end ((grin) but MC put in the butt plug and said that if I needed to at 12 I could take it out. What an odd sentence “if I needed to”. Darn right I needed to like every half and hour. ((grin)) but I waited and cleaned and tried not to carry to heavy a load of wood into the house just in case. (eg) And all the while the teens are milling about doing their thing while I twitch and it twangs. ((grin))12 o’clock on the dot came and guess what came out. Ohh gesh and a whole lot more. Ahh what a relief. I liked doing that for him. Can’t explain it but it felt really nice knowing he wanted me to do it and he wasn’t there and had only words in my head controlling me. “if it would please you …. truly”
Hmm this one is a hard one to conj our up. One night he had me in the dungeon and I was straddling this rope that vibrated and I think that it was covered in rubber and my hands were tied up above my head so I was on tip toes. (laughs) I have the marks on either sides of my breasts from where he lashed me but I really don’t remember the actual hit … maybe way way way far away I can remember screaming out but it just escapes me. But then I do remember vaguely him lubing up my pussy and ass area with Ben gay…a sensation I’ve never quite experienced. Not quite cinnamon oils but yet a constant discomfort. So I had no other choice once left to simply grind away and find some way or some place to sooth and pass the time. Dance and grind and rub and breath and wait and wait once again never know what will come back to you. Will it be tender or cruel … I just always want him back with what ever he brings.
Marshmallows. They look so inoccent. The word itself is rather inoquious. But get them moist and stuff 12 of them up someones ass and you have something completely and totally different. At first I was like hmm smells like marshmallows then I remember j’s words about them. Ohhh ((frown and eg)) it was a constant constant cramp cramp and my body wasn’t having any of it. I was torn between trying to hold them in for him and then wondering if I could just shit them out. He wasn’t telling me to hold them in he was just doing his usual milling about sort of thing always keeping you wondering. ((eg)) so I asked at one point “Master?” nothing …. No reply. I’m not even sure if he was there now. (grin) he could have been … just silently watching and smiling. Meanwhile I’m a writhing mass of discomfort. (smirk) then again I dared “Master?” and in turn says “yes kunt?” and she says “can I shit these out do I have to hold them in Master?” ((writhing and clenching)) and he says something to the affect of “I’m waiting for you was wondering what your waiting for or about time.” Oh let me tell you getting out that first batch of them was so hard. I’m kneeling on something in their living room and tied to half the coffee table. And I have to and want to desperately shit. Mental break down of emotions and the first pile hits the floor. ((eg)) it was so sick and raunchy and made me so happy? Lol Marshmallows. Hmph
Not last night but the night before MC had me in the dungeon and he was experimenting with different ways of suspending me. Most of my weight was being held up right under my breasts and then from there he would alternate having me lay out flat with my legs up or parted or this way and that. I just like going with it and smile. Once again attention mmm. When he was through he had me get on my knees and suck his dick. To me its not as simple as that. Its like every single part of me is in my mouth and I can’t do enough to please him. Its very special for me to be allowed to do that to him. When he had enough of my mouth he had me crouch down and used me pussy from behind until he was satisfied and then proceeded to try and get the vortex to cum. Once again I go and go and go and come so close so many times and its all frustrating. I still tend to think in the back of my mind that he likes torturing me that way. (eg) But needless to say I didn’t cum and upstairs we went so he and j could take their shower. I was brought into the bathroom and made to kneel near the shower door and then he poked his head out and told his kunt to make herself cum. Instant disappointment from me. I love cumming for him and now more and more I look at my making myself release to be less and less of a desire…. I yearn for his touch and its so much more satisfying when he brings that out in me. But I did as I was told and came as quickly as I could and was left feeling very disappointed in myself. And an ache. My god I thought I could press down on my pussy as hard as I could and nothing would quench it. Squeeze my legs together didn’t work. Grind a little here a little there a lot everywhere and ache ache ache. Which led to last night thank god.
J had some running around to do and I was her little slave sister chauffer. We went to do her errand first and then went to the mall and had a great time looking at this and that. And had a wonderful time teasing the waiter where we had lunch. I’m not sure if he new about our collars or their meaning but he made it a point of saying to the man sitting behind that “Daddy would feed them” spoken to the guys kids. So he then turns to us to give us our salads and I said to him (eg) “But who’s going to feed uuuus?” He comes back and says “believe me ladies I would loooove to.” I thought j was going to die and me too, it was sooo funny and fun. I love being playful like that. Just saying enough so that your not being blatant but if they get what your really saying its so much fun. Part of the day with j I was fussing and she’d be like “whaat” and I’d be like ARGH and she’d be like “whaat” and I’d be like ARGH until I finally told her. She’s so funny.. she’s like I totally know what your saying and we’ll tell Master (eg) Well tell him we did and his reply was something on the lines of me hoping. Lol ACK (eg) We made dinner that was a bourbon salmon and some really yummy biscuits that’s j’s been dying to make and she also made some really yummy scallops too and steamed broccoli. We had my Sir (Phil) over so that we could still fell like everyone’s still together and I think we all had a really nice relaxing time. After dinner and desert it was getting late and Sir still had to drive home so he headed out and I’d be home in the AM. J and I laid out in front of the woodstove for a while and MC went and did what he needed to do on the computer. He later came out and proceeded to tease and torment me about my achy ache. (eg) So up to bed we all went. I tried to convince MC that j wanted to play and nope she was snuggly and would watch. (grin) So he cuffed and clipped up my hands once again above my head and put one of the weirdest most oddest looking freaky thing into j’s pussy I’d ever seen. It was like a funnel but made of wire with no sides. It left her kind of open and just strange looking. She said she liked it once it was in (smile) He then strapped me and flogged me and put on the tack bra and had a wire circle thing down the front of my undies. Then he took off the undies and the bra and really laid into me bringing tears to my eyes and thankfully j was being nice and wiped away some snot which was realy going to bother me. Funny beat me and beat me and beat me and “oh is that’s snot on my face?” Anywho (g) he then started to work on his kunt again and work and work and I was close and close and close I’d laughed at one point cause he just stopped short of bringing me relief and he took it differently and I missed my chance. He brought me down and laid me on the bed and went to work on me again and finaly finaly after I’m not sure how long the tsunami came. CRASH RIP TEAR….oh feels so good. I am soo soo very thankful for the things you give me Master. He went after me after the tsunami subsided and seen the wrath that that brought out in me. (smiles) I know there might be some things that I’ve left out and if I remember I’ll try to write it down. But for now dear Journal I think a girl’s done for the day. Time for dinner and bath time and putting away of laundry. Till next ………slave n |
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its sunday ...hmm. is it my day off? most people don't continue to work on sunday ...hm interesting most. When you think about the reality of being a servant or a slave you never realy think it through... but can you imagine when its realy happening. i think, that you never realy process the whole Huge scenario. these last few weeks have been interesting to realy get to map out all the dynamics of each person and realy talk about how everthing feels constantly ... to tweak something here and to make note about something there. its wonderful simply wonderful. constantaly understanding and evolving.
i look at other people and the way that they live and say how can you not want this? i guess in a sense many of our Great Grandparents lived in a simalar way. the man doing the man thing and the woman doing the thing she do thing. HEH ... but i doubt that anyone was getting punished in the house. except maybe the kids. well anyway. (smile)i'm majorly liking life. its a lot of work mentaly and physicaly at times but as long as i'm one hundred percent with myself and others it'll all be good. my job is to preform and know and do my best in everything. once a person gets to that point the one thing to them thats unfathomable is the thought of doing any wrong...they may at times fail to preform up to a task but more than likely it would be a time issue not totaly in her control but with proper management time is only an excuse. in your head you always want to be playful, or pretty, and always simply pleasing to them.another thing i was thinking about doing to make it in my head that P is my Sir and i his servant is to now care for him in an even more proficient and professional way...(heh) (smiles) i think anyone would want to care for their best friend and that manner. again its growing or not growing or what ever therefore honesty first and then actions. i think the seperation of choirs ..ie. his clothes first his what ever first until its all done then the regular house choirs then at last my personal effects (smiles) it sounds right.
on another note ... i love being that thing. that anything. that just be there happen thing. just in a constant state of wondering ... turning that off is a rather interesting process. you, hear, smell, tense, shake, the antisapation is so maddening and you have to quickly remember what happened the lat time you were made (heh) yeah made ... he realy twisted your arm, to be allowed to finaly reflect outwardly your true core self more like it. i'm still not in perfect shape and i think thats the last little shread holding it in. when i say it i'm refering to my core...(smiles) i just like the word. =^..^= i'd like to be able to write like ... ((stops and thinks))
i just came to a conclusion on the crate ... or like a thought that the crate is a welcomed relief .. you can go back and do the one thing you love to do best and thats to think of him ...mm yummy ... mm what ever ... mm god yes...recently i told C and j that i can't realy write about play anylonger. or maybe it depends on how hard or better yet how challenging it was. so far i think i've risen up to any challenge thats been given to me. Hmm.. yet again i'm bothered by a word that to me is insuficient to represent that feeling. For the word given ...(laughs) i need more coffee. LOL i just constantly want to learn about anything and to grow constantly. i now feel like this little bud of a flower in his garden and i so enjoy being that.
well ...i think if i've written this much i might as well try and to conjour up an image of play times. there has to be a better word than play(yep here she goes again)
((think think think)) what i remembered most about this particular moment was that ...LOL i was tied up by like my ankle area and hoisted up so that if i realy realy ... i think i was arching my back to get up on the backs of my shoulders with M's guidance. he was also working on getting me to cum i hate not being able to cum as fast for him. training constant training. the learning part is always so wonderful. its seems to me that unless i'm like put into a perdicament that is with me being totaly ...((smirks)) there isn't even words in the human language that can describe what the heck thats like ((eg)) i ...ok. i'll describe it as this.. unless i'm fatigued and heading towards ... nope no words. its waves and waves of orgasms that never realy end and i'm not sure of how long i could go like that. i think hours which is a scary thought. but until that tsnami comes along and brings hell with it type of orgasm i'm never realy done done type of thing. but then once i get that sort of orgasm that turns things into a different situation of the bigger havocy ones. after that i think its all mental melt downs.
LOL ... i thought of a word to describe good "play" the other day. Subspace trauma. i wish i could describe exactly why i like the words together. it just sounds raw...if think i've rambled on enough..........thank you for your time......slave n
p.s. before posting this i did a quick run down around the house and the things that need to be done are small but considerable... i think i'm up for the challenge. |
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Well hello again old friend. Have you missed me, have you thought of me? I hope so. ((smile)) I’ve been such a busy little slave girl. So many new things are happening in my and Master’s life and its all so good and yummy these days.
Well now lets see … what shall I start jabbering about first. Master let me join a gym. I love it and never knew how much I really missed it till I started working out again. Can’t get enough endorphins mmm. Its nice I get to work out and reminisce about play and such. Such a hard life I live. ((smile))
This past weekend I got the chance to sleep over Master Calvin’s and his lovely slave june’s home. And then they took me to a party and Master came after work and brought me home later that night or should I say early the next morning. ((smiles))
On Friday night when Master got out of work he came home and I had the jeep all packed and ready with my things. We then drove down to a little Chinese restaurant that was at the half way point between MC’s home and ours. I was really surprised that the food and libations were soo durn yummy too. That was a really nice treat. So we all talked and ate and drank and had a nice time and then it was time to head out so I said my good bye’s to M and headed out with MC and j.
We arrived at their home and got comfy and watched the opening ceremonies to the Olympics which was really fun cause me and j got to giggle and make naughty comments about all the boys and such. ((eg)) When it was time for bed we all headed upstairs and they had me set up my sleeping area near the foot of their bed. I brought my sleeping bag over so that I can leave it there and they don’t have to worry about my bedding and such. MC set me up with a night time collar and chained me to the bed but only long enough so I could reach the toilet. Its funny cause when I wake up at night to ask to pee it ends up being a pee fest with j getting up too to use her pot. ((eg)) So fun so fun so fun. Speaking of pee. j and I were kneeling before the bed when MC came over and undid his fly and had j suck on his cock. When he withdrew from her mouth her comment was something to the affect of “tasting like asparagus” and I was thinking to myself “what an odd thing to say”. ((shrug)) Then before putting his cock back into his trousers MC moved to me, so I immediately opened my mouth and was starting to suck on his cock when ((squirt)) out comes piss LOL into the lungs of the unsuspecting victim. ((blushes and smirks)) Cough … chock .. smiles and giggles all around. Ya got me Sir. Mmm more please was my next thought once I recovered. Now I should back up a bit and talk about some play that night as well I think.
I’m trying to think of how to start this off. That’s the hardest part is writing down play. Well MC decided to have us kneel on all fours side by side and bind us together by the wrist to wrist ankle to ankle method. I’m not sure what he used but there was lots of them, it, and those sort of things… ouchie yummy more more more please’s. j and I and he certainly had a lovely time. Thank you again MC for allowing me to be there Sir. I think after that we all went right to sleep. I’m trying to think back … I don’t think I sang anything or told any silly jokes …. Hmm I’m drawing a blank. ((grin))
In the morning I woke up at my usual like butt crack of dawn time and asked to use the bathroom and then I tried to sing. j was noting having the lets be jolly in the morning time LOL. It really was her fault, they like to listen to music while the fall asleep and well this stupid Neil young song was bored deep into my cranium and I had to get it out and well sometimes ya gatta just siiiiing. ((grin)) I did manage to go back to sleep for a while and then MC woke me up and had me join him so that j could rest.
Wow … I really can just write and write. But it seems sometimes if I don’t write all the things or details down I’m not doing like time that’s passed justice. I know I’m a bit off but I like me sooo. ((grin))
So we were downstairs tending to morning things.. Woodstove, food I think ((grin)) And MC decided he wanted to play with me …. To make a very very long story short it ended up that he restrained me with a whole bunch of belts down the length of my body and hitched it so I really couldn’t move. He used needles on my tits which was a first for me and it was funny cause while he was doing it I could hear him peeling open the packets and smell the alcohol and feel the initial puncture and it was all just wonderful. At first I was like … hm should I freak out then I immediate thought well he could just be fucking with me and so instead of the freak out I decided to calm down my breathing and to just go with it go with everything he wanted. At times here and there and there and here my breathing and shaking would escalate and then I would find myself somewhere and bring down the breathing and the shakes and just sway and sigh and float float float. Once again every touch hits wires and nerves in me that take off like lightening. Everything is racing and nothing is happening at times not a sound nor a touch and still the lightening continues. The binds hold the blindfold conceals they all know their job and do it so well for him and even I can never help but to follow suit.
Later miss j comes down after maybe hearing a scream of a poor little n having her rump pressed up against the woodstove tricked into it by MC feigning a tender hug and kiss. ((eg)) I think then I was allowed to snuggle on the couch for a little while then put into the crate with a blanket “thank god” the location that its in is somewhat chilly and I’m very thankful for the use of the blanket. After a short while in the crate j asked that I be allowed out so that she could have my company while she had her morning coffee. Thank you again miss j ((smiles)) I’m free …. Ya right. ((grin))
J had a hair appointment and I went with MC to do some errands and then we all met up back at the ranch and had some rather tasty vitals from the previous night. Mmm. J and I then prepared the food for the party and we all got ready to rock and roll. After a few minor adjustments to j’s top, which now was rather loose with all the weight she’s been losing, we were all good to go. KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK YOU VIXEN!!!
Once we were at the party spot well all went in and MC did his thing and j and I did our usual sister slave thing, which is mill about helping laughing the usual fun little girl things we tend to do together. ((Smiles)) So the people come and the party starts and then I end up in the kunt closet. ((veg)) No use for me just hang and grind and think or not which ever makes no difference kunt bye “slide goes the door darkness” mmmm Light returns momentarily with whispered words and touches then vanishes into darkness once again. Mmmm Reluctantly she’s released and returns to the party and longingly looks back into the closet to find a lost earring. I hope to return there I need it.
M finally arrives and is greeted with warmth and tenderness from all and its time to eat. I was really happy with everything that was there what a real treat. So more talk more this more that till a j pipes up with M can we play please. Oh yes can we reenact what we did last night for M pleaaaase.
Well we kind of reenacted it ((veg)) it was chilly and we were on the platform thing not a bed ((eg)) but needless to say it was fun. Fun but cold. I can deal with cold and use it in a masochistic way but for j it just does bad things for her. I think there should be a rule that if your going to host a party you have to turn the heat on in the play area like 6 hours in advance or the day before. ((grin)) So j was released to go snuggle with M and I was repositioned. MC brought out the most wonderful toy in the word yet another love for me … the TENS unit. My god what an evil evil lovely little contraption it is. Nice little pulse pulse BZZZZT. I bet with enough of a jolt a person could just about topple over a platform (wink) Lots of screams lots of dripping on my part. Many delightful marks and welts and zaps and biting and squeezes mmmm heaven. So when the question is playfully asked. “have you had enough” my reply is simply ….”I can’t answer that.” Lol A girl just could go and go though her body don’t think so… but no worries are found she’s safe and someone else is in control.
After being let down and tied up to snuggle … tied up so that her arms are in a pretzel behind her back and ropes are forced up tight in her crouch with a stupid fake penis bobbing around. (Humiliation at its best in my book) But snuggle I did and teased j about her comments while I was being abused. (wink) so fun… do we have to go home PA? Another day and other time somewhere else someplace soon. A girl can dream can’t she? Good night dear Journal ………..till next. |
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Things not forgotten
The last couple of weeks have been fairly busy. I've not written in my dear Journal and now at this time its all a blur. What I'll try to do for you today is give you a glimpse into the past.
We had a party at our house on the 12th and to my delight it went really really well. I was loaned to Master Calvin and he and Master had fun putting me in what I like to call predicament play. Its the sort of thing were your damned if you do damned if you don't. With proper use of ropes clamps what have you, the "victim" (grin) can only find relief in very small increments if that loop hole is provided. I say the word loop hole meaning that the Dom/Top may leave one small position for you to go into to not have anything that is tugging, pulling, pinching, ect.. In that one tiny spot you now find yourself enveloped in a delightful torturous universe. Though you may be somewhat safe from your captor's restraints you are still within easy grasp of them. So the picture or predicament is in place, you know where the pain lies but can you or will you or do you want to be away from it. For me the answer is no. I try to find .....no I don't try to find, I find how to use it all and make it so hurty yummy that everything else out there outside my now ever closing shell disappears. Yes I can sort of hear things outside but it doesn't process very well. Mostly words sounds don't quite compute. What does get processed is them. (Dom/Top who ever is playing with me) I listen for them only, and feel for them only. Every time they come near and by chance brush up against me my inner arms reach outto them and hold tight. I wish they could feel how strong a grip I have on them. If I could keep them there for infinity I would. But such control I don't have. I only want and want and want. The slightest whispered breath on me sends me into an even deeper state of want and need. And with those feelings I tend to find the pain places within my confines. Which in turn sends me further along into that vast open hole of want and need. At times when they leave me to smolder my senses will eddy out and I'll be back to what I think of as normal thinking LOL. In reality I'm not centered at all but I think I'm fine. Once they come near again I shoot right back into the vortex of need and want. And it goes on and on until they feel they have had enough or that I'm just plain ole done. I know I get carried away with writing about it but its hard for me not to slip back into a moment.
Now what else. Hmmmm I think that's plenty LOL.
The next week was normal I think. LOL And then came the munch on Friday. We drove down to VT and met everyone at a fun little bar with some rather interesting music from a band that ... Shall we say was um maybe I didn't have enough beer to fully appreciate them. But the company was outstanding. I the lucky little slave that I am got to sit with Master Calvin and june the lucky little slave that she is got to sit with Master Phil. (efg) Once we scared away the other couple it was all naughtily delicious. I think one day I'll make a poem or song about the way if feel being fondled by Master Calvin. (Giggle) He's my favorite rub toy outside of Master but then there is also George who was a previous Master of mine and he's a nice rub toy for me to. LOL Yes I must confess I am a little sexual demon. Gimme gimme gimme or which is just as much a turn on for me the give give give part. Ok ...enough about that night. Oh wait I didn't want to leave out the fact that june and I looked really hot. She had on this awesome looking shimmery silvery looking dress that just flattered her figure to know end, and I had on a silvery shimmery shirt and skirt combo with just the right amount of cleavage so that we had the place dieing to get a piece of us LOL Or I thought at least. I was fascinated by the way june was being ...she kept falling into what I later found out to be a natural state for her, but she was like so little girlish and cute and shy. Now let me say this. If I hadn't known june the way I know her I would think one thing, but I do know her and it was like sooo interesting. I wanted to know everything going through her head she was really wild to watch. I got to talk to them about what I had seen and I understand it all now. Fun fun and more fun.
The next night we invited them over for dinner and june brought over the most amazing delicious torte I've ever had. She made it for Master Calvin as a special treat and I thought we were pretty special seeing that she shared it with us. I made a stuffed pork roast which I'm happy to say came out good. I was scared because I've never attempted something like that. But I'm not scared no more. YEAH!! We watched the movie Little Nicki and everyone like it. I was having such a hard time behaving and it sort of really messed with me cause I didn't know where to look or be. So instead of being the fun crazy slave I normally am I remained silent and somewhat distant which I think wasn't very good. I've talked this over with everyone and next time rather than take myself into my own hands I'll simply state or announce what's going through my head and ask for help and guidance. Better to leave such things to the experts isn't that the saying. (smirk) We all cuddled and snuggled and Master was going hunting in the AM so it was an early night.
On the morning of 25th I was conversing with Master Calvin and... Yes I was horny and didn't want to do the same ole ass in the air sort of thing so I think I asked him for suggestions. I don't know if he said outside or I said it but that ended up being the place and I was to make it somewhere that Phil could see it easily enough. I picked out on the front cement porch, which was partially covered with snow. Master Calvin said it was 16 out and I thought, BAH 16 taint nothin LOL WRONG!! By the time I got down stairs I was really horny and determined to cum. It took me three times to finally step out and do the deed. Damn it was cold. The first time I opened the door I closed it immediately. BRR I then turned right around and got my electric snuggle blanket and a towel and brought them to the door. The second time I opened the door I actually placed my foot on the top step and immediately went back in thinking WTF By now I really realy want to cum and have set it in my mind that this is the ONLY place that its going to happen so get out there and do it. Third times a charm out the door I went and immediately turned around and plopped down pushing my ass up as high as I could to get as far away from that freezing freezing cement and snow as I could. BRRRR My shoulder blades and left arm immediately went numb I think and my legs and butt which I can normally cramp up to make myself cum were numb too. And so I'm rubbing my clit and trying to clench and its cold but I'm kind of warm oddly enough. Then I start to think "Nicole ¦you"re not going to be able to do it. Just give up. I can't do that this is the spot ...this is what I came out here to do bound and determined. So I used the cold and discomfort to the best of my now dwindling ability and had a rather freakin awesome cum. (smirk) So see june it wasn"t merely a snow angel I had major motive. Well in my warped head I did. When I finished I tried to get up which is normally an easy task and discovered Christ my legs aren't really working...brrrr. And shuffled into the house wiped off turned on the fireplace and started to warm my shoulders and body. Damn that was really cold. I'm not sure I can do that again. Who am I kidding I'm pretty sure. (vefg)
I've been presenting myself to Master constantly so that he may use me at any moment. And its going rather nicely. Oh such a tangled web I weave ... till next dear Journal ....simply nicole
Notes From Master Calvin :
as for predicament bondage, your choices were 1) to kneel upright, in which case, your head was pulled back via a rope braided in your hair 2) or to sit back, which relaxed your neck, but then clamps tied to overhead ropes pulled on your breasts/ nipples
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Subject: pms or bust
Time: 10:26:50 AM EST
Author: nicolemongo
Mood: Chillin'
Music: Musical Star Streams
After reading june's journal i thought it was only appropriate for me to follow with a entry from the night that Willy Wonka came to town. (eg) hmm. Type less...............................Where should i start? (veg) mmm. (eg) On the 16th of November i was allowed to go over to Calvin and june's to watch a movie and relax. We all got to snuggle on the couch and enjoy each others company. I like there couch its snuggly and ....get this....you can recline in the end spot. Nice little handy feature, very nice. Comfy, cozy, content, excited, happy, elated...its such a treat to do that. To be able to go to a friends home and just .....AHHHH. Relax. Almost like home. But not your home. Most of the time i get those feelings going back to my family's home's and phil's families for that matter. Scents are familiar, creeks on floorboards, a ding here and dent there. But its all safe...its all nice. Did i fail to mention that i had a real nice time hanging out? (grin) Well ...bye the time the movie was over it was rather late. And with the rain and the thought of going into an already dark house the notion was passed on to me that it would be better to stay put and leave in the AM. But..but i don't have my snuggles and toiletry. (pout) She really had to twist my arm. But.....but before i sealed the deal i made a sleeping over clause up. (vefg) It was in the fine print they hadn't seen it in the Contract. (smirk) i stated that i was to stay if Master Calvin promised to give thyself a royal spanking in the morning. Well i didn't put it exactly like that but you get the picture. Master Calvin was aware that all was well with Master Phil in this matter too. Once it was decided that i stay june set forth and found me a nice little tee shirt. I forget what was on the front, though i know it was something cute. (smile) She took care of my ever need. (veg) Well not everyone silly. (eg) She made me a snuggly bed, and even offered that i could sleep in the cage or on the crosswalk thingy near their bedroom. I'm such an idiot. All i could think about was possibly being cramped or chilly. (frown) Stupit stupit girl. (sigh) If asked again i won't make the same mistake twice. :o) As i lay in bed i could hear the water running from the fish tanks downstairs. It sounded just like laying in your tent at my house, right along the stream. Sooo peaceful....you could bottle that stuff and sell it. (smirk) I slept very well once i convinced myself that the sooner i slept the sooner it was moooorning and i'd get a spanking and i'm not hooo ooome , i'm at my friends house. Very cool. Very cool indeed let me tell you. Well off to sleep i go. Kitties at my feet snuggled me all nite...(KITTY LUVINS) meew
Morning
I hear familiar morning sounds. People moving about getting ready for their day. That's another thing i thought would be odd, the waking up to your routine and their be another person. Can be awkward. I feel bad when people talk about work and my work is so much different. On one hand i can so relate to them having been in a job outside the home before. My life is so different than most people. Its the apito of the American dream in my book. (vefg) You think about it. All i have to do is keep him happy. Do everything for him always. Take it ...give it...constantly strive to see him smile both inside and out. That's all you have to do to live like a Princess Slave.....kept...used....abused.....loved....... to have your mind in a complete and constant state of erotic excitability. (laugh) Its tiring....i don't know if one person alone can fill up all the nooks and crannies of a lustful carnal vortex like that. All the pain all the pleasure just feeds me and makes me stronger. Empowering extraordinary. Even when i'm brought down to tears and snot bubbles and trembling ...totally void of rhyme or reason. When i'm like that i still smile and feel elated to quiet an extreme, knowing that i lived through it. You can then try to relive each step it push each stroke each pull, tug, heavy grasp.......But its all just a blur....its all gone now to only return in fleeting glimpses and inner smiles and aches that no one around you can see feel experience. To walk through the house and suddenly be pushed right back into a moment so strong that you almost lose a step. There is no other way i could ever live. How do people do it? Without knowing. i think there is to much life and energy in people to not use it all. Its a shame. But .... not for me. (veg)
Ok ...if your still reading wow, love ya. (smirk) But seriously. When i heard that june was up i also got up and folded the bedding for her then went downstairs. She gave me yummy coffee and asked if i needed anything more and i kindly declined. i was to anxious of the unknown. i wanted to be sure that she was all right with this and that everything was still fine. She's so sweet....she regretted having to go to work and i sooo soo know what that must of felt like. When she was not working a few times in the past we got together early before our Master's would get out of work. We should of taken advantage of those times more often. I really miss that....i wanted to mention to her as well about a comment i made that night about me not wanting to snuggle with her cause she didn't have a penis. LOL Yes i am soooo bad. i told her that morning in the kitchen that my own in securities about that unknown makes me nervous being i've never really done anything with another woman. She understood totally and with those words my love and appreciation for her deepened. Off she went to work. Leaving a slave in her home with her Master not really knowing what was going to take place. Possibly the only thought in her head were that she would find out all the juicy details when she got home. I can honestly say i'd be just as comfortable to go and leave june with Phil. The life of a slave. (warm glow sigh) I stood in the kitch for a few minutes and was like ....derr. What do i do now? I went into the tv room to watch some tv while i waited. No go. I couldn't get the tv to work. I have to make it a point to leave instructions to our tv out for guests. (eg) Anywho...........I found a magazine and read some stuff. I don't even remember what it was that i read. I just sat and skimmed and listened to the house noise waiting for some contact and enlightenment as to whats going to happen next. ::listen...skim....listen....skim:: Finally i hear a toilet flush. ok ....so i wait hmm nothing. ::listen....listen:: I decided to put the magazine back and head up to ask if i can use the toothbrush june offered to me that night. "Umm ...Master Calvin?......brushy brushy ....think think think.(smirk) It was ackward at first (veg) I had NOOOO idea what was going to happen. I thought the least that would happen would be i'd have rosey cheeks on the way home. So we stood ...looking at each other...like well....
Said to me "You must of thought about this previously, where do you want it?" or he said something to that affect. The only thing going through my head was ...i don't care what you do....just do it. When you have that much trust in a person...you then fall into their world ....similar to your own Master's world. All bets are off your theirs. He took me into their bedroom and had me lay down spread eagle on my tummy. He then took rope with these neat clothes line things that cinch the rope tighter and attached them to my wrists and ankles. After that it was all spanking and paddles and brushes and grabbing and pushing and the pulling and just raw energy. MMMM Better than mama's fried chicken. (VEFG) There's no more time when your in that state of mind. When being used like that its a complete rocket ride just hurtling through you and yet it also feels like the stillest waters on a calm night. He choose the most amazing music...the woman moaning was with me or i with her....quite a nice trip. Later when i was home and Master arrived boy did i have a story to tell........till next simply nicole
p.s. there was one thing that was brought to my attention that i hadn't written about. i didn't forget...(grin) i just kept it for myself in words not type. (grin) At one point while being played with by Master Calvin. i nearly lost my head....or maybe i did. LOL Hard to say now. But it goes like this. He was sort of laying on top of me and grabbing the sides of my breast and squeezing them so hard i thought he was going to rip them right from my body. He just kept on grabbing and squeezing and yanking and i just kept on going through wave after wave of like an orgasmic reaction. I was totaly lost...all i could do was ride with it in a total state of delarium. i was listening to him and feeling the pain and just writhing and squirming and churning with the constant pleasure of it all. i was simply at awe with my reaction to that and quite honestly i still am. It was like sex ...though we didn't have it, but it felt like we were right intoeach other. Very good fuzzies. |
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Frustration
I think that from now on I’m going to write down a little bit as the day passes instead of sitting down and trying to remember everything that went through my head through out the day. (Smile) Today was an odd one. I finally finally pushed myself enough to get out the painting supplies and do some more of the trim work. For some reason it just really irks me, I can’ figure it out but I get all like cranky before starting out .... or maybe I get anxious cause I’m all ready thinking about what I need to do while painting to have it end up looking perfect. When I say perfect I really mean it I want Master to come home and think a professional team was in our home doing a real bang up job. (Laughing) Once I start it all ways changes I calm down some and then enjoy myself. Enjoy myself that is unless my brain kicks into overdrive and I start to do the indi 500 of thoughts. And most of what I think about really isn’t that important its more I think out of frustration. I’m going to have to talk to Master about how I should think or what would be good things to think about throughout the day. Re reading that last line is really odd. But to me I think it needs to happen because even though I’m busy through the day and not really that idle I still think. Thinking thunkin thinking some more. And then being the brainic that I am when I do go online I go and read naughty stories LOL I do it to myself ... I’m most definitely my own worse enemy. I just thought of something. LOL Master took away my privilege to play with myself LOL Thats WHY!!! Ah HA. Thats why I have a headache thats why I’m so frustrated ... god I make myself laugh. DOH .................(elapsed time)Well now that I’ve been vacuuming for a while some more thoughts ripped through me head. One of them was that Master was going to be going hunting on wend. And possibly the day before or after. Now me being me as soon as I heard this instantly whipped up a scenario of possibilities of things that could happen. One of which that I talked to Master about was the possibility of him telling some of his friends that I would be alone and that at said time I would be in this part of the house wearing a blindfold and possibly have head phones on listening to music. After I thought about this for a while the only person I could really see him telling this too would be Master Calvin and his slave June. There part of a chosen few that he would trust and know that I would be safe with. I had a chance .... well I took the time to go and hang out with June this past Saturday afternoon which was a really awesome treat. We listened to some music she likes and horsed around and of coarse when I could I would tease Master Calvin. I just can’t help myself . LOL But it was really nice. When I was there I passed by the previous scenario to Master Calvin and I think he liked it. (Grin) I don’t know what sort of thing he would plan but I’m sure it would be something that I would never think of. Well needless to say its now Monday and Master is still unsure as to weather or not he will be going hunting or not...(pout)(smirk) So as you now know some of my frustration is from what I’ve just typed. I’m sorry, Master is a wonderful player but for him to take me down into some dark part of myself isn’t really something he can do just yet for us. Maybe in time. I’m not sure. Either way my love and devotion to him shall not change. We’re having a party here at the house this weekend, you’d think that would be suffice as far as being able to play but for me nope I’d like something to happen before hand. (Grin) I can’t help it I’m wired to go forty thousand miles a minute and nothing less. (Grin) A girl can hope and dream can’t she? There’s always tomorrow and the next day and the next day. And as far as I’m concerned as long as I breath Master and I shall talk and move forward constantly. He makes me so happy. He works so hard all the time always for us. I need to remember that when my mind starts listening to my clit. (grin) I just love being used and tormented and being sore and achy from that instead of me doing it to myself through house choirs or outside work is so much better for my soul. I miss it .. I want it.... I need it. I thrive and flourish in its turbulent waters. Puts my whole being at ease. But like I said with constant communication and GRRRRRRRRREAT Friends ....(wink wink nudge nudge) life can and will only get betterer and betterer for such a lowly slave girl as I...............Till next dear Journal.................simply nicole |
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Boy I tell ya a girl sure could get lost in the woods if she realy wanted to. What started out as a nice normal day turned out to be a realy nice normal day. This morning before heading out to work I asked Master what he would like me to do (knowing full well that other than painting there wasn't too much to do other than laundry and such) But none the less I thought it would be the right thing to do and ask just the same. I regreted it immediately. Paint... how many coats of paint here how many there. Yuck. I realy realy realy wasn't in the mood to start up that project again. So I mentioned to him that with the hurricane coming through we might get more snow or rain and that maybe me working on the drainage ditch on the drive would be a good thing. He gave me that look and I gave him mine (lil doe luvins to you Master) lol Pa leaaaase please no painty paint. He said he would call me later and I knew at once YES I can go outside and work. The weather here has been realy damp and there seems to be less and less nice days to do outdoor work and before you know it all will be under like 5 feet of snow (smirk) I can't wait to go snowmobiling. Sledding, sking, snowshoeing oh my. (grin) I'm going to attach a couple pictures in my journal today. One shows me on the snow tube taking advantage of Master being gone for a couple minutes. My sister came up with her kids and we all went over to the pumpkin festival in Keene and had a realy nice time even though the weather turned realy yucky towards the end. I made a double batch of this noodely shrimp creamy pesto stuff and boy was it good. mmm One of Master's favorite's. Well in the morning I was lying in bed looking out the window and it sounded like rain running off the roof but I couldn't hear it. Hmm ...So I get up and look outside not having my glasses on yet i'm like wow the mulch has some realy realy white frost on it this morning. Then I'm like HEY!!! Thats not frost its SNOOOWING!! Its SNOWING. (laughin) "Master its snowing, its snowing" Grrrr from him. LOL Out of our room and to my sister's room knowing heck there up for sure. :knock knock: "Cooome innn" "Hey you guys know what?" "No.. what?" ITS SNOOOOWING :everybody's out of bed: We all run to the doors out on the upper porch .... "Wow!! SNOW!! And before Halloween no less. Pretty cool I must say. (grin) So we had breakfast and the kids went sledding and then they left and Master said he was .....I was going to forget the part about me trying to be creative. LOL Ok ... rewind. They left and Master got on the phone so I took advantage and thought I would try on some things to possibly wear to an upcoming party. I put on my high high heels that I havn't worn in like forever and some little thong type panties, along with a vest type leather thing. I then found one of my work suits and only put on the jacket along with my bird mask thing ... kinda looks like story of O and I realy hadn't thought of that until Master Calvin mentioned it at a party once. I'm going to have to read the book again. (grin) So I get all dressed up and doing my best to not kill myself head downstairs to surprise him, knowing full well he's on the phone and won't realy be able to say or do to much. (giggle) He looks at me and he's like "mmm" (big smile) So I do a little prance around and head back upstairs. By now my feet are killing me. :note to self don't put on shoes like that without stockings: OUCH So I head upstairs again trying not to kill myself and what I thought was a moment of shear brilliance came over me. I went to our closet and got my other black shoes that don't kill me as much and carrying them in my mouth and crawling on my hands and knees head downstairs to beg that I be allowed to change into them instead. Nope no dice. (smirk) I get down the stairs almost around the corner and guess who's off the phone. Yep you guessed it. (grin) I made some little doggie whimpers and even held up my hands and begged like a good little puppie girl. Nope still no dice. As he smiles down at me he says "That looks great but what I need you to do right now is to go get the recycling ready for me." (pout) :bewildered, miffed: Up the stairs I go. But wait ....(grin ) Do you want to take a picture of me like this before I change. I'm soooo stupit. LOL "I sure do" He says. ARGH He had me pose this way and that and let me tell you. The way I think and feel I look is completely different from what I think and feel when I look at me in pictures. If that makes any sense to you. I mean I'm not that out of shape but it just frustrates me when I see myself ... every flaw every bump bulge anything is right in my face ... I hate it. I don't know why i'm so critical of myself but I am and I'll still do my best to get to where Master and I would like to see me. I'll put in a few pictures of what he took. So when he was finished I went and changed back into cuffs and collar and got everything together for him. As soon as he was out of sight I ran and got my boots and the tube and jacket and away I went. Weeeee. Boy was it cold out there. I then thought oh good photo op for him. Ran and got the camera took off the boots and set it up so I could take a picture of myself for him. (smirk) Yeah he knows I'm crazy. (grin) Surprise!! For the rest of the evening we just hung around then off to bed. So getting back to today. Once he was gone and I played a game of pool with one of my ex co workers (grin) I went to the post office... nothing good happened LOL Came home and intended to work on the driveway .. Nope that didn't happen. And I think this is where the kittie in me takes over. (grin) I had some extra coats in the garage and water and intended to work on the ditch, i realy did. (smirk) But then I seen the pile of brush and I'll attach a picture of that. (wink) Then the birdie's wanted food :peep peep to you too Mr. Birdie: (smirk) Then I started to drag some of the brush to the pile and I noticed the first stream and gosh I still wanted to unclog that. So I went down there and worked on that. I did a good enough job on it so that its not running around the log walkway but instead underneath. Yeah for me. LOL So now I start thinking about the other streams ... so I head up to the next one and work on that one till its pretty good. Then I go to the next one and do the same. Brrr. I don't like drizzle. But i'm feeling good so it doesn't bother me that much. Just then the phone anounces " Call from Master!!" Which just about sends me to the moon. I don't know why but it always startles me so badly. LOL I guess I realy get into what i'm doing when i'm outside. LOL So we chat and he's ok with what i'm doing and I told him i'd check noaa for him about the upcoming weather forcast. Good. Now that i'm done here i can head up and up the stream. LOL Not home nope ...(little cat in me taking over i think) I clean and clear here and there and up and up. And wow you can see valleys and OH ... OUR HOUSE!!! It always makes me laugh at how small it looks from up here. I'll put some pictures in here for you to Dear Journal. So I walk this way and that way and I should of had my gun and water. Bad girl, I know. But I saw lots of moose tracks and realy had a nice time meandering this way and that. Saw some poop that was like tear shaped too. I'll have to ask Master about that later. (grin) Came back by the streams on my way home and saw some realy nice trout in the second one ... BONUS!!! That was realy cool. I always get worried when I work on the stream or land like I'm changing nature to much. But when I see animals like that thriving I think that I'm doing a good job. And besides Master is always very pleased in how things look afterwards. For now i'm chilly and I think I wrote enough for tonight Dear Journal. Rest well.
p.s. Master pointed out a couple of things that totaly slipped my mind (smirk) 1st was instead of putting a lot of our toys away in the basement Master let me put up a baby gate so my sister's kids wouldn't go down there. I explained to them and winking at my sister that we were doing work down there and they were not to go downstairs. LOL
2nd Was when I brought my sister up to our bedroom to see our bathroom all finished up the kids were poking at our spanking bench and I had to yell out hey thats Uncle Phil's work bench. Which by the way was covered with a sheet. LOL
And 3rd this one realy made me laugh. I came back from the grocery store to see my leash on the coffee table. I'm just standing there like "wha ... wha." While the kids and my sister are just watching tv. My sister then turns to me and says "Oh that was under a cushion in the couch. Me and the kids thought that you use that to walk the kitties. (wink from her to me) LOL I don't think the humor in it all will ever end. |
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I have no idea where to start. But wait I know ...we'll talk about painting. And not your artist type of painting i'm talking the stuff that nightmares are made of. LOL It just made me bummed. I don't mind doing the walls thats ok and can be fun. But door frames and baseboard crap STIIINKS. And its funny cause I can laugh about it now. While I was painting boy thats another thing. It looks nice though. Like the house is realy becoming us more and more. Now ...the real fun will be when we can finish out the cellar and have that all nicey nice. (big mind lapsing pause) (smirk) Just a boring painting kinda day. No one to tease or fantisize about on the way to the post office. Though a couple of times I heard a big truck laboring up the hill and I did find the time to imagine something interesting. It wasn't anything to brutal, I think I'm a whimp or I just can't seem to do a dry run of something like that in my mind. Or maybe thats what would be so good about something like that happening. I think I've been thinking about being grabbed up like that more and more because of the way our house is. The other day I thought of a real good one and hope that we can do it one day cause I think it would be realy freakin wild. Imagine you have a big chunck of land and on it lived and wandered these not quite ponygirls but something of that ilk. You could hunt them or trap them. The possibilities are simply endless (vefg) I think i'm all out of thoughts today. The clasps on my cuffs are realy nice. The cats aren't as afraid of me any more. CLACK CLACK CLACK (smirk) I had to talk myself out of going on a hike today about 4 times before I started to paint. Something with all the frost this morning was realy nice, and the house being nice and warmer made it even that much nicer. (grin) Opps just heard that truck again. LOL A delivery ...."huh" "NO WAIT ... (yelp) AH... what are you doing to me? LOL But back to the hiking need. (wink) It warmed up pretty good and just looked like a nice time to head out and up and possibly over (grin) I think cause all the folige and flora have died and now all you see every where is freakin nasty switches. (eg) I think its called birching? I'm sure someone will tell me the correct term if I wrong. (grin) I just chilly. I need snuggley clothes. (pout) I'llstay dressed though cause if I take a shower i'll have to only have my cuffs on and that woul be far to chilly for me right now. Poor poor slave girl .. I know. LOL .............. Just a lazy lazy yucky painty day. I think thats all for tonight dear journal. Tommorrow is going to be a nice day. I can tell. Though Master has to work. I think thats what gets me into a funk sometimes. It used to be Him and me and me and Him all the time. All I can say is Phoey and yes I know its only for right now. Soon enough soooon enough. (sigh)
I had to come back online and add this in. I was washing my hands getting rid of the remaining paint and thought to myself. "Who are you kidding?" The whole time I was painting I was trying to make it look perfect so that when you came home you would be soo proud and that you thought I did a great job. I love it when the house looks good and your happy with all the work that I've done. It makes me so happy seeing you pleased. Attention to detailpays off I guess and all the little things add up. All the little reminders about you filed away in my head. Favorite foods, music, TV, things he wants, needs, desires, is he tired is he content, does he want to rub my feet. (wink) HEY!!! How'd that get in there? Hmph must be a blog ghost. Or wait I know ....."It was Noooooooooshie!!" LOL I hope you like it. Good night Dear Journal |
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Which came first the gutter or the mind?
I'll take it your wondering what exactly does my subject line mean. I am as well. Since my last post Master has been steady with the cuffs and now its going on possibly four nights of wearing them linked together while I sleep. Notice linked not locked. But baby steps he's taking and baby steps i'm loving. (grin) Not yesterday but the day before Master had me paint the other walls in the dinning room the same color as the ones in the other rooms downstairs. Notice how I changed the subject so fast. (smirk) It was a suggestion from Domdra9on and Master and I think it looks Grrrreat. But the painting's not over. Today lucky me....no realy this is something realy special to me. LOL I .... and your not going to beleive this, but I got to go to another town to buy paint. YAHOOO Now getting back to my subject line things will be a little bit clearer to you. I don't get out often so when I do I feel that its only right that I can be ....hmm shall I say slightly frisky in all my endeavors. I do however pay close attention not to foist my lifestyle into someones face but hey if there is a comment made I'm rollin with it (weg) Well on the way to the store there were some state highway dudes working out on the road and gesh my mind just started to wander and wander and thats when it hit me....was my mind in the gutter or has it been there all along? I think most of the time its there wallowing lazily about simmering nicely and sometimes it simply boils over and thats when I realy notice - sheesh calm yourself woman. The good thing about all this is that I share all my naughty naughty thoughts with Master and I can't ever think of one time that he's said Eww Yuck or Thats just not riiiiaght LOL. Like he'd ever say Eww. LOL (pause) But none the less the fantasies fly the road crew would of gotten no work done and I'd be SPENT!! LOL Sooo I took my time making the most of the drive there and found something out that is very very important. Little slave sisters and brothers heed my warning .... never never drive while listening to scene music LOL LOL (veg) Not a good thing. I did you'll be happy to know make it to the store in one piece. PHEW Got the paint picked up some clasps for Master the other ones are long and are doing a number on my feet and furniture clanking and clacking on everything. It was great looking at the clasps because in the same isle were two other men that simply went silent and seemed (in my head at least) to be behind me watching. LOL But I perserviered and did my best to pick the best ones. Tonight I'll find out when Master gets home. Nothing realy exciting happend after that except I got to pass the road crew again (wink) I sure do make myself laugh. Master is always tell me that. "You sure do crack yourself up." And yup is my only reply. Yesterday was Master's day off and if you must know I accomplished nah dah. Other than the usual caring for the house things it was a day of la la laa's . We did however get to walk down to the camp and I being me took along the camera. (wink) I was hoping something would happen when we got to the camp and yuppers you betcha it sure did. Though in my mind I have the idea of making it into like a major event by bringing a lighter to make a fire and realy settle in. Nope no fire no standing still for long. He pretty much scoped out the camp found a spot pointed and down I went. Brrr brr brrrr but not for long. I've attached some pictures of his handy work. (grin) Later on at home he decided it was time to take a bath and relax. I wasn't going to object no sir re. After taking the bath he motioned for me to join him on the bed and me being me said "This is soo vanilla." Not a very good choice of words I must say. The look of disappointment on his face can not be discribed. (frown) I couldn't hlep it. As I've mentioned in the earlier post we've fallen prey to ole mister slump or patterns and I just couldn't stop the feeling that I knew step by step what was going to happen next and so on. I should and have to learn and trust him that'll he'll break the cycle and patterns that we've fallen into. I have that faith. He then put me on the spanking bench and told me just what was going on in his mind and how its going to be. After he finished with me he simply told me to go downstairs. I went downstairs and thought to myself he didn't tell me where to sit so I'll simply do what I at that moment thought would be the proper thing to do and that was to stand and wait by his seat. I wasn't concerned of how long he would be. I was however very disappointed in my earlier actions. So wait I did and he did after some time come downstairs and had me sit near him we talked and that set my mind at ease. I don't want to dissapoint him but I do need change ... otherwise I fall into the pit of domestic servant. Talking talking and talking and lots of love on both ends makes things much much easier. More rules came from that day. Good rules that a slave can rise up with and persevere at. (smile) Funny thing when I think about them I curse myself for not thinking of them and it makes me feel like I missed a beat or slacked off. But then I say to myself thats why he's in control and NOT you.I think for today I've written quite enough. I hope he's proud. till next dear journal ......simply nicole
p.s. most of the bruising was from a party we had at our house. Thank you Domdra9on and dragonssas. (warm hugs) |
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Well I think this is going to be an interesting undertaking. To me sharing information or thoughts in me with others is a pretty big thing. I guess if and when you finaly make the decision to do so your finaly able to take the leap into the unknown. The reason I say that is that most people you know see you in a physical sense but only somtimes know your thoughts. Their yours to be secret ... your own private little joke...to be shared with a chosen few. Its always that way if you think about it ...or if you would please entertain that far fetched notion of mine. LOL (note to self ... never never let nicole just write any ole thing) But anyways I am going to start my own Journal. (BIG pause) ::read over read over:: I think sometimes i'm the type of person that takes stuff way to seriously. Like this is a test and grades will be given and oh my the aweful consequence be it you fail. I think I'm feeling so giddy because my slave energy i'll call it has been powered up. Master and I have been living a wonderful life together and through everything we've been through to get here we've lost site of the very reason that we came together in the first place. And such huge places in our lives they are. ::read re-read pause:: I ... myself felt a desperate need to get it back. I was so frustrated and was tired of waiting and also having spent such a very very wonderful evening with a dear couple the other night I was gonna let it be known. Yesterday morning before Master was heading out the door I said ..."You need to step it up." "I need to find my place again." He said nothing realy and was gone. I chatted with j on the computer for a little while and discussed this and that and like usual the words from her helped give better light to my thoughts. While we chatted the phone rang and it was Master ... he simply said he was dissapointed in my tone and actions and that he forgot to say he loved me before he left (little ritual). "We'll talk when I get home." was the other words and no more. I hopped back on the computer caught j talked to her somemore about the hazards of people compairing others. I try not to. But these days its tricky......... Until now. I went outisde to find a project and there always is one no matter how big or small. So I hopped up on the atv and headed up and over into the woods . Wee big stream yeaah woodsie woodsie woods. LOL The first stream is slightly washed out and I think the logs we were using as a foot bridge need to come out due to the fact that in that spot it just gets clogged. The second stream had a realy neat wash out causing one of the logs I used to get the atv over it to just totaly move. No easy ways for me today I thought. So I carried my stuff the rest of the way and worked on a clog on the last stream. If you can't tell at this point i'm just blowing by the minutes to get to the naughty stuff. (smirk) I decided to take a break and rest for a sec and noticed my phone going dead. (smile) Well i'll just have to head back. I was day dreaming thinkin again about life and such (LOL) and thougth to myself ... hmmm what would j do. (giggle) Well looky there a nice flat rock thats just about the right size to perhaps allow a person to jerk her clit off into a most yummy orgasm. And away we go. After having placed my vest down "Hey ... Master's not here so I CAN have a little comfort!" I thought about friends standing around waiting for me to hurry up and finish. No real words just body language telling me "come on hurry up" Close your eyes nicole I thought ... can you here them breath. Their looking at you kid. Nice little thought it was and boy I would of made momma PROUUD!! Yes I know ... sick lil gurl. : P Wouldn't cha know I just about lived it over agaaain. I'm telling you .. the core of her soul is a machine. Buutt anywho. Went back in took a tubby thought and contemplated thought and thought and thought. Waiting ...more chat. j once again adds to the magic being she is all ready being a good girl she dressed right and dinner is done. Insparation to the rescue. I say to her ..."nah no proper dressin up for me ... i'm gonna be wearin comfy clothes." Ok well have a good night off the computer I go. Think thought think thought. ARGH Down the stairs I run fast as I can... i have to get my cuffs on and look pleasing. Do the right thing its him ... for him he's coming hoooome. Snuggley clothes off folded nicely..(thinking in the back of my head maybe I can put them back on) LOL silly silly slave.... On goes the cuffs ready goes the dinner on goes the leash. He's HOME!!! Gentle words from him...his eye's and feature's are slightly different. He points I move he gesture's I obey.(don't giggle or smirk I think) He's HOME! A night to continue in cuffs and the warm fuzzy feelings of slavery. New rules just enough tweeking of her I think. I love it. I know its only going to get better and better and betterer. (VBG) Does he know what he's in for? AHH He can handle it. |
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| Age: 19 |
| Los angeles,
California |
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