I’m an emotionally mature, stable and financially secure business professional. I’ve had both vanilla and fetish relationships in the past.

I believe the foundation of healthy BDSM is respect and care and not degradation. A bottom is elevated in status and beauty through the relationship. A Top shouldn’t put their partner in danger of serious or life-threatening physical or emotional harm.

It’s best when partners respect and need each other, but it’s not helpful if one or both constantly depend on the other for daily emotional support and stimulus. It’s important to have friends and interests outside the relationship

I used to be primarily submissive, but then began exploring more of my dominant side and I believe occasional switching keeps things interesting and improves both Top and bottom skills. But I don't feel the urge to Top everyone; it depends on the person.

I’m very much into exploration and trying new things both in life and BDSM, although I know certain fetishes strongly appeal to me (keep reading for those).

Don’t you often think, like I do during the sometimes mundane work day, about losing control to someone? About being suddenly captured and having something utterly unpredictable happen to you? About having them explore your most very sensitive parts of your body against your will and cause you to pant and sweat with lust?

What would it be like to be surprise “abducted” by your lover driven to a very secluded location outside of town for the weekend (or to abduct your lover)? You would be your captor’s play toy for the weekend? Imagine a cabin in the mountains near Big Bear or secluded house in Mexico near the beach. Absolutely no one knows where you are and you can do nothing to stop him from doing whatever he pleases with you.

I think the exchange of power results more from trust and taking over physical control of the sub and less so from mental control. Not a believer that people are naturally ‘superiority’, more that they earn respect. That's when the mind follows.

My aim is for mind blowing experiences. I believe such experiences do not require genital intercourse. Sometimes just a taste of play is fulfilling. A quiet evening at home watching a movie can be nice when spiced with a sub comfortably bound and embraced by the Dom on the couch.

I love good gear. Good gear’s appearance is a bit menacing but also sexy. Also, its design and function is diabolical in the way it entraps the human body.

I’m continuously thinking of new and fun scenes, scenarios and tricks for teasing, tormenting and titillating my partner. Some of these fall into the category of predicament bondage. Imagine straining in bondage to press yourself harder against a vibrator that’s not quite close enough to let you reach orgasm and the harder you strain, the harder clamps bite down on your nipples.

What I like about being in the Top role: taking your body to crazy heights of pleasure and giving that pleasure in many, many different forms; the irresistible sexiness of your body when it’s in bondage and fetish clothing; thinking of devious scenarios and predicaments to trap you in and begin a mind-blowing scene; fulfilling your scenario fantasies; and mostly the emotional intimacy that comes from playing together. But again, this only works for me with certain individuals, not everyone.

Outside of BDSM, I love motorcycles (you could probably tell from the pic), skiing, fine food, cooking, travel/foreign cultures, some art and architecture I used to live in Europe so European travel and cultures interest me. I’m impressed by those that have an appreciation for a non-American perspective of America and the rest of the world.

If you’ve read this far, I’d suggest exchanging some email thoughts then maybe a mellow meet-up for just coffee/drink to see if we click. In any case, I’d love to hear about you and your interests both inside and outside of BDSM.

(some futher thoughs in my journal)
Cheers,