HerSluttyFukToy

I now own FukToysKunt, go read her profile and see what i'm doing to her.  If you're a fem and can cam verify I may allow you to use her. 

Monday 15th August 2011 - 11am GMT. Feeling down and disheartened, have let Princess and Sir Blake down and so not feeling very good about myself. There is a myth, or common assumption, amongst people who have a narrow view on BDSM culture and that is that 'submissives will disobey only to be punished'. That was true for me, say, last year but I recently learnt that to be a *true* submissive you have to take pleasure in someone else's pleasure. I get a lot from submitting to someone else physically. I get a feeling of self-worth, a feeling of pride and a sense of accomplishment too. However, the amount of times I have let Princess down (she gave me a list the other night which honestly made me feel sick) makes me think I am not good enough to serve her. I am not used to being dominated online, this is a first and though I try to do everything she asks to the best of my ability I still feel like I am failing. And I really do not like to acknowledge or be told that I am failing or doing a bad job. Maybe I'm just feeling vulnerable, maybe I am just missing Princess but I know I am not feeling very good about myself.

And I have let her down again, by writing this journal in first person. This might be my last journal post.

Sunday 14 August 2011

This slut is currently serving a man online instead of it's Princess, Humiliatrixx. This slut will be back under the ownership of Humiliatrixx when Princess believes that it has serviced him to the best of it's ability. This slut believes that by being 'used' for other people's amusement reinforces the idea of being objectified. This slut now acknowledges that it is to respect all who are 'above' it, whether they own it or not because it is only a fuck toy and has no opinion.

This slut has been quite inconsistent and Princess believes that this slut is only doing tasks if/when they are convenient for it - ie, it has not been available this weekend and the journal updates are not frequent. This slut, now, can only apologise but assure Princess, and readers, that this will improve as it yearns for Princess' approval and praise.

As it has not been completing tasks immediately when asked, this slut has a backlog of tasks to complete ASAP. This slut is to send Princess portrait pictures of itself as though it is dressed for a date with a lover and a picture of it with a ball gag in it's slutty whore mouth. These pictures will be sent nearly 4 days late. Also, as it is now to serve a different Dom for the time being, He has instructed this slut to write 'Forgive This Cunt' over it's body and take various pictures. This will be done in the morning, 3 days late. He has made this slut realise that it needs to get it's priorities straight and has ordered this to be online ready to go on webcam at 9AM GMT tomorrow.

Fuktoy

Wednesday 10 August 2011 

This slut was given the weekend off from training to relax but was given a humiliation punishment when it told Princess that it had broken the rules, played and climaxed, during the weekend.

As consequence it was ordered to write various words and phrases over it's body (pictures have been upload) and to masturbate with the magic wand through it's panties for ten minutes.

This slut felt humble and dirty as it read the writing while playing, this reiterated that this slut was nothing but a Fuktoy and to be used.

This slut is writing this while holding a butt plug in her ass and a bullet vibrator in it's cunt.

Though this slut occasionally slips up, where playing is concerned, it is becoming more obedient and craving more, and harder, use.

Thank you for the positive feedback via email too, it is very encouraging.

-HSFT

This slut doesn't think it pleased Princess tonight

Objectification

To be objectified means to be treated like a physical thing that holds no emotions or opinion, just to be used when it's owner chooses to use it.

This slut particularly likes the idea of objectification in the appropriate context and that the person who is being objectified is willing and everything is consensual. That being said, this slut is quite an old fashioned slut and likes the notion that everyone has their own place - a pecking order: Superior men and women have the right to objectify, use and take advantage of people - or objects - which are below them.

Personally, this slut like to be objectified as it allows me to detach and compartmentalise emotions and this slut also acknowledges pleasure in pleasing others, to know that it's... whatever... is making another person happy and satisfied, this slut gets a lot of satisfaction and a sense of accomplishment from that.

-HSFT

Backlog of my tasks and punishments to date:

  I was first asked by my owner to take photographs of myself naked with all my toys and lingerie. The toys I have are:

• A Hitachi magic wand
• Two rabbits
• A wand vibe
• An anchor
• Numerous bullets

I felt this task was OK and easy enough to carry out.

My owner has made it clear from the beginning that my cunt is hers and that I am to keep my dirty fingers from touching it - which is quite hard for me.

Humiliatrixx later instructructed me to put clothe pins on my nipples and, by using breathing techniques, to keep them on for 3 minutes while my face and knees are on the floor and my ass is in the air. I was to repeat this process for an hour. However as it was midnight, during my first break I fell asleep and was unable to complete the task.

The next morning I told my owner what honestly happened and I think she appreciated that. I was instructed to complete the task (which I did) but I was also punished too. My punishment meant I had to kneel (without using my hands) on uncooked rice and hold my Hitachi to my clitoris for 1 minute.

I felt that the punishment was a little challenging as the rice was uncomfortable to kneel on and unable to use my hands meant that it was hard to keep my balance. The use of the Hitachi for 1 minute made my cunt super wet though but I knew I was not allowed to orgasm.

 I didn't hear much from my owner for the rest of that day which made me a little anxious as just speaking to her excites me. That evening, just before bed, because I didn't have my owners encouragement to keep my hands away, I played with my pussy, broke the rules and gave myself an orgasm. Again, I was honest with Humiliatrixx and carried out my punishment.

I was a little uncomfortable with my punishment at first. I was to contact the last male who emailed me and perform for him. He was a 49 year old American. I was to write 'Maturbation slut' over my tummy and ask him for tasks to punish me with. He asked me to take and send him picture of me using each of my toys and a few pictures with my fingers in my ass and cunt. My owner contacted him for verification that I carried out his instructions efficiently.

I felt a little apprehensive, as I said, because it was an older man and I was entertaining him. But I also enjoyed the thought that my owner and another dominant were talking about and discussing me.

My Latest Task, Last Night 2nd August 2011.

In the morning, Princess told me to lubricate the back of my thighs with butter, lay on my back and hold my knees to my chest as I whip my thighs with a plastic coat hanger. I was to do it until my legs were red. I whipped them for around 20 minutes as, perhaps my strokes weren't hard enough, but it took a while for them to colour.

I think I would have done better if I had someone else to whip me as I am not so good at infliciting thud-like pain to myself.

Humilitrixx asked me to take a better photograph of myself to prove I was genuine, which I did and which I hope everyone appreciates it.

In the evening, Princess instructed me to use my favourite rabbit until I was on the edge of cumming. To stop, wait a few minutes and begin again. I did this over and over until I was really desperate and had to beg Princess to let me cum. She didn't.

Instead, like the morning, I was to whip the back of my thighs while a bullet was vibrating on my gspot. When the urge to orgasm heightens, my hits were to be harder to distract me from cumming. Princess eventually allowed me to cum and I squirted all over my bed. I felt really dirty because it was late at night and I had to sleep in my nasty squirt.

I also finger fucked my ass a little and worn my butt plug for a while but my ass was super tight so maybe that's an area I need to work on.

I also had to read about sensual spanking last night and I learnt that spanks are best carried out in a rhymatic nature - I think this helped me as I was whipping the backs of my thighs.

*I have taken pictures of me playing with my rabbit and the squirt afterwards*

Emails of encouragement are welcomed,

HerSluttyFukToy x x x

Another Verification Picture

I have uploaded another verification picture and added todays date (2nd August 2011) to it. The picture clearly shows breasts so I am not a dude!

Hopefully the accusations will stop!!

-HSFT x x

My First Post - Authenticity

I was asked to write about the experiences that my owner has facilitated for me - and I will later - but something that I keep getting emails about are users accusing me of being - not asking if I am - a man.

I appreciate why this is. There are numerous fake profiles on here. But I am genuine. It might be hard to believe but I am honestly 18 and I am honestly a female.

I thought my picture - the writing on my inner thigh - showing my cunt and no penis, would verify this but obviously not.

I will not verify myself on Skype or MSN or Yahoo as I do not think my owner will allow this but also because I shouldn't have to. I have uploaded a picture of myself which clearly shows my CollarMe Username WRITTEN on my own body.

I have not listed my likes and dislikes on this account as I do not they are relevant. As I stated in my profile, the sole purpose of this account is to log and journal.

What I will do - when I learn how to do it - is upload an audio clip. That will probably not convince the doubters that I am real but I am not interested in them. I am interested in people who want to read about the adventures with my owner and I.

 Please do not waste your time accusing me of being a bloke, if anything the emails are just time wasting and, quite frankly, depressing.

Thanks for reading,

- HerSluttyFukToy