HeadMaster75

Little White Lies

That's a comforting phrase, isn't it? After all, white lies are safe, friendly statements that don't really hurt anyone; they just smooth the way for people to get along in society. White lies are telling your boss that you're stuck in traffic, instead of that you overslept. White lies are assuring your sister that her dress does not, in fact, make her look fat. You hear them, and probably tell them, every day.

But is there really such a thing as a "white" lie, in the context of a D/s relationship? Somehow, I don't think so.

Recent research suggests that humans first learn the concept of lying?and how to do it?between the ages of two and four. And for many of us, it's a lifelong habit. Really, who is honest to everyone, everywhere, all the time? I?ve yet to meet the person who will claim this?and if I did meet her, I'd probably think she was lying!

However, no matter how most people behave in day-to-day dealings with others, there is one person to whom a girl should never, ever lie. I?ll give you three guesses as to his identity.

At the risk of generalizing, part of a Master?s role is to shape his female, to help her grow into what she needs to be. How can he do that, if she isn?t completely honest with him? Lies, secrets, unvoiced fears?all these things interfere in his ability to know her, and make it impossible for him to determine the best way to deal with her. So her chance at improvement is ruined before she even begins, all because she?s not telling her Master everything he must know?which is to say, everything about her.

Now don't get me wrong, please. I understand the urge to bend the truth, and particularly when we know the probable consequences of telling it. Pain (of the non-erotic variety) is a common part of those consequences, and as animals, we generally find that pain is something we want to avoid. So yes, we may be tempted to hide a wrongdoing or improper thought from our owners, simply out of fear.

But eventually, lies?even ones of omission?hurt us much more than would a physical punishment, or even the emotional pain of disapproval. And they hurt our relationships even more.

Take a moment to think about it, please. It's human nature to push boundaries, but what girl really and truly wants to defeat her owner? Maybe in a moment of anger or fear, she might think she does, but it?s never a good idea to try.

A female?s deception is often the first step onto a very dangerous path. Even if she gets away with it, the experience only makes her unhappy. She has less respect for the male she serves, because she?s ?put one over on him?. She feels guilty, as well, for having betrayed his trust. And she feels trapped by her own fear of what will happen if she confesses.

Over time, these feelings will build, and they?ll probably spur her on to more misbehavior. Why? Because frankly, she's asking for his help. Whether consciously or not, she?s seeking a limit, to be brought back to what she instinctively knows is her role. She?s trying to MAKE him notice her failings, so that he?ll correct them.

Topping from the bottom, anyone? I have a pet peeve about that bratty little habit, and I know a lot of dominants who do, as well. Engage in enough of it, and you may well find yourself without a Master to serve.