hardxdrive

first i do want to say thank you for emailing my slave broken a cut and paste email about abuse and the signs. I don't know who she is. i dont know if she is a bdsm keyboarder or a newbie. by the way she sounds a newbie. i dont play a game. this is not a bdsm movie or going to a bdsm club where you see nothing but people tickeling each other. no when i punish my slave broken. i dont tickle at all.

 

between you and me broken once was  more hardcore than me. everyday  she texts me, im's me, calls me , or in person tells me what more hardcore things she wants me to do to her. there are 1000000's of ladies online whos boyfriend or husbands doesn't do the things their ladies want to do in bed. im' not one of those guys. broken is very good to me, so if she wants something done in or out of bed. i will do my best to make it happen and make her happyxx.

 

i dont post too much about the vanilla things we do everyday or what  i do for her because i care for her. because i love her and  because she is such a great person. you have to do for her.

 

since we been together. i gave her a $100 the first week we met. it was funny she thought i thought she was a hooker. lol lol. no i just gave it  as a gift. then a few weeks later her bed broke and i offered t obuy her a new bed, but she said no thank you. i talked her into investing her money. i control her savings. this is what she wanted. i just wanted to give her my thoughts on investing. i pushed her to get better medical coverage. i pushed her to see another  doctor because ifelt her current  doctor wasn't good for her. i push her to love herself more and get rid of people who dont respect her. i pushed her to start wearing clothes that show her beauty and stop wearing clothes that hide her beauty. i tell her everyday how great she looks. we are both very affectionate to each other. i'm also so gentle with her with my approach as with my touch. that kind of touch makes her shakexx. i always grab her in the street when we first meet and plant a big kiss on her face and lips. i always make her laugh. sometimes not on purpose. wink i always make sure she has enough money in her pocket. i am now pushing her to get a higher education. what i  do for broken i have done with all my past slaves.

 

also i take her to  to new heights every scene/sex session we have.

 

So please tell me from what you see from your computer screen that im abusing broken.

 

 

violent obsession

 

as vanilla would say

 

I dream of you falling in love with me and your passions run so hot that you will never let me go. Even if I beg and scream for release. I suffer with your pain. You rape me constantly. Even when I  don't want it. Force me to cum. sick twisted deviant. torched me sexually. running with cum as I cry.

Monster Rapist. You have a opportunity to be as hardcore as

you can control (deprive it or force it)   

~my moment, ~bind me tight or don't let me stay still~

my food, ~restrict or allow food~

my light, ~you give me the right to see or made to stay in the dark~

my, sleep, ~drug me or keep me awake~

my, sound, ~to hear or not to hear masters growls~

my bathroom need dependent on you~. 

~Enema training if daily if needed. It's uncomfortable, painful from cramping and embarrassing to me.~ 

Make my ass bleed. ~

clips on my tits and clamp training or weights ~

if needed to pierced(hope not) ~must be very sterile conditions~

 

come after me, when angry if you must

They say your abusive, I am looking for the abuse.

I will wear your mark be it tattoo or branding as you choose if you decide~

If one day ever desires forced pregnant. ~raped beaten and drenched in daddy cum only if you decide~ I offer my body to you.Its there if you want to it it.

 

 

 

my left nostril has cleared up. boy having it clogged for a few months.  you get to appreciate the small things even more. people on ms are funny. one person  who gets emails when I post my blogs so she can read them asks me why I want to be her friend. one person emailed me and told me that my slave was lucky to have me  also told  me she cant add me to her friends list cause she doesn't know me. broken posts in one of the bdsm clubs that basically my hardcore is basically simple to what she did  as a pro domme. she used to nail male sub's penis to the floor. so  broken I'm going to take the pins you got me and put them through your pussy flesh and nail it to your inner thigh. so think hard before you want to see me again and you know I will do it. I tell you  she doing great on ms. she said I  don't want to listen to her feelings. she wants my control 24/7 but always puts out vanilla girl drama. I have done thing for her benefit that no Dom  would do in a m/s relationship. soon Mary will leave and I will be alone for the first time since 1996 and before that was 1987. a lot of time to sit and think and grow. changes come about not with what you read, but what you      experience in your life. I still cry sometimes about it. I even hate taking my own money back from her that I lent her in the past. when she has a date when she will leave probably will stay in a hotel for a few days before. I cant and don't want to be there when she leaves. I know I wont make it emotionally and  physically. since 1/05 I have went against my personal believes in how I should behave. I guess you call that being human. on other web sites mostly bdsm ones. some say I'm a monster and a rapist. my slave said that turns her on. lol but true. I'm the most nicest person you will ever meet. I'm very polite and pretty shy. I respect a female in the bdsm or vanilla lifestyle. I remember when I first took broken down. when she recovered the first thing she said was. I've been looking for you all my life. as she said herself. I treat her like gold. I don't know our future. talking about broken and me. I do appreciate what we have and what we done. she is one unbelievable lady. so fem and yet soooooo hardcore. she can have any man she wants, but chooses to serve me, but her vanilla heart and past in getting in her way and her words don't match her bad slave behavior and the drama that goes with it. I getting to the point where I don't want that drama in my life. not now and not ever specially if she wants to be my slave in the bdsm lifestyle. don't be in the game if you cant play by my rules. there is so much I can do then I sense there is nothing i can do for her anymore. there are too many out there who would do for me without any question at all. broken gives me morexxxx and more of everything, but if I met someone who gave me 50% and without the drama. I would make my choice very fast. I told her this already. this lady lovessssssss me to death. she wants her master 24/7 and she wants to play hard and have sex all the time.    she's very oral and she once gave me a 2 bj's in less than   30mins. there are times I have to throw her off my cock and then she will beg to suck it again. if she just listen with her slave mind and not her vanilla heart. man what we will be and become. believe me we have such a great vanilla time as e do a lot.

today was ok mary kept asking for help with her moving. i cant help her leave me. she is an adult she will be ok. once she leaves i wont see her again. i didnt control her. well i did only in bed, but i did almost everything for her and when the going got tough. she came to me. she will feel it big time when shes in another country. even with family. her MHD wont be there when she turns her face that morning. it will be a whole new world for me in a few weeks.

 

i had a talk with broken today and in person wednesday. both time she cries. she is not letting go and lets her heart get in the way. now she vis not bi, but has played with another female for me and with me, but in the past few months she has indirectly fked a change 2x to play with my young ex-slave. i was a poly-dom before i met broken, but her ways got me thinking, so i decided wo not be poly and just be with her and we have playxx friends on the side. she agreeded but always after giving me a hard time. know and talk to doms and female subd where the dom had other slaves and his main slav so no problem with it. i just dont want to be in a position where she will top from the bottom. one time that happened in the past and i went along to make things calm and said myself. what the fuck am i doing. that wont happen again!!  anyway everytime we talk even if its just talk she always crying. i want to hear yes master whatever you want. in the past i would tell her to go with a dom who just wants one female sub. wel you know that answer. dont be in the game if you cant play.

 

lets see what the future holds for us.

again thank you for your support. im doing much better. a molar in inpacted near my nasal cavity. so i will need an operation.. my low point came cause i was crying about what i need and what i want and what was with mary. that was fantasy and fantasy is not reality. reality we had some great times,but more bad times. i stayed longer than i should have because we had that special love and touch for each other, but outside of that is wasnt good. let me say part was my fault as well. im blessed to have broken with me as my slave. once shes with me 24/7 she needs alot of work as my slave, but if she didnt. our m/s relation would be boring. some aspects of our relationship is gorean, but just a very small part. basically my total control over her and thats it.

I have gotten a few emails from people telling me my relationship I have with my slave is a gor one.

 

Your thoughts

i feel my whole being wants to shut down. i dont believe in killing oneself, but i would just want to  lie down and let nature take its course. i want to see my parents. its been too long, but i cant even do that. broken had a bad situation happen to her a few years back and i wont do that to her.

i haven't really got around to write about my slave living with me for 30 days, but in summary it was a very hot, sexy, kinky loving experience. she helped around my place everyday. she cooked great meals. greeted me almost every morning kneeling beside my bed or waking me up with her hot mouth sucking my cock. we did alot of hot kinky scenes. most were never planned. i gave her, her weekly enema. the were some she was a bad girl and did i ripe into her. there were times she would cry and shiver in bed for sometime after being delt a very hardcore spanking, beating, or a whipping. i alway ask her before i hand out my brand of punishment. she as a choice to leave and never come back. she always saids no. when she lived with me i fucked her at least min 3 times a day. i took alot of hot kinky pictures of her alone. she is very oral and is always has her mouth on my cock. one time she blew 2x in less than 30mins. lets say she has my number. wink. lol We did alot of taken down r**pe roleplay. we both love the nurse, medical, and intoxication roleplay. we also did breath play, public play, and knife play. im geting into more scenes with her that doesn't include sex. our last night was great. it was very vanilla. just watched a dvd. had dinner, and just layed side by side and talk and give each other alot of affection.

 

again today mary and i were crying alot. me telling her things she i know will never happen. that part will be for next time. i just want to thank broken for being there for me. she is a gem and i love her dearly.

not been a good couple of days for me. so far i had root canals done. i have a chronic stuffed left nostral. the left side of my face got infected. it blew up. and i was dying in pain. now the rifht is of my neck is very sore from i dont know what the fuck and im even 47 yet!! lol wink

broken was sucking my cock this friday and my cock wouldnt get hard. i guess yo can call masterfloppydisk instead of masterhardxdrive. lol wink. i had minor dental operation. im on a packed train and the inside of my mouth is bleeding pretty bad. im not going to spit out my blood on a packed train, so i had to swallow my own blood, plus pus as well. not a good combination. then mary comes home today and i again started crying like a bitch and started saying mushy stuff to her. honestly my tears come doen like a water fall and that never ever happened to me before. not even for my parents. my slave broken has been an angel and listen to my sob tales, but at the sametime i did what i di and i for gave mary 26 times. im not ever going to give up broken for another lady. mary asked me to a few times and i said no. so why all this crying. honestly be too mushy to talk about. anyway mary will leave for good in about 2 weeks she said and broken and i talk about making our 24/7 m/s relationship offical. to have broken makes me one lucky Motherfucker. when mary leaves for good. part of me will *** inside forever.

i went to the dentist to do a simple cavity. she gave 2 novorcan shot in my right upper cheek. to tell you the truth the upper left hand side where they said i had a deep cavity. i never felt any pain.

 

i also been to a doctor for a chronic stuff left nostrail. doc said i mite need laser surgrey.

 

anyway a few hours after i left the dentist the place where i got my shot started to hurt bad. ok the shots were off, but the pain hasnt gone away. in fact it got to the point where my whole left side of my face was killing. now my left side of my face has swelled. the meds i got dont help. i had to take combined 1 hydrocodine with 800 mg od mortrin just to ease the pain. i cant hardly chew and now my nose is dripping alot.

 

 

any infor or help would be appreciated.

 

thank you  mhd

these are people who can't for person reasons take part in real life the bdsm lifestyle. Some are honest about it while others are not. the ones that are not are people who go online and try to get invole in the bdsm lifestyle the best they can. this mite be finding a dom or sub in a long distance relationship. Leading the other person thinking that their LDR will one day be real life. When the bdsm keyboarder knows it will never be, but wont tell his or her LDR partner. This is done in fear of losing the closest thing they ever had in the m/s relationship.

other bdsm keyboarders go on bdsm forums and post nothing but hate. others mite even live in your home town.Some will give their number right away . Most will never answer the phone, or call back. some will be brazen enough to give you their number knowing it is not their number. Some in your home town will make plans to meet and never show up. i heard sad stories where female subs travel to other states to meet a male dom and that male dom never shows up.

we decided to go clubing. i dressed up in my army black tee and black army pants and shows== broken likes that dress atire. my head was cleaned shaved ang my gotee trimmed. she was dressed in a very tight black skirt and had e verything on right. i love that ladies hair!

She decided to drink before we got in trhe club. her idea. not mine. Anyway we get to the club and everybody that is breathing knows her. One guy was slobberi ng over her arms. in front of me. no big deal.  we took pictures and she was just all over me non-stop. she even became very aggressive and through me to the wall pinned me there and forced her leg between my legs. oh poor me.  she wouldnt stop her xx attacks and then she reachs down and goes in my pants and pulls out my hard on on the dance floor. the dance floor wasnt crowed yet and some lights were on. i told her put my cock back in. then she wanted to take to the bathroom and blow me. can my cock have the night off    dammmmmmmmmmmmm

 

we both groped and made out heavyly as well

i fked broken  7x

made her cum and piss with new high speed vibrator 3x

punish her 3x

she came too many times to count

me 2x

we scened 3x

we scened with no sex 3x

 

mastercard priceless

my slave and i took a walk in the city and we just happened apond a nurse outfit store. my slave and i were talking about buying another nurse's outfit for our roleplaying scenes, anyway we bought it with another nurse's cap, I told her to put it on when we get home so i can take some hot kinky shots of her. well when all was said and done she came out of the bathroom looking very hot. I then gave her different kinky props and I started doing what ido best/ take great shots. then all of a sudden i got so hot and hard looking at her. i had t ostop the photo shoot and took her to the bedroom and gues what i did. yes i let her dom me and take me down and force a hot blow job on me. i said this postion of sub and dom has to change, so i told her to undue the cuffs and i just chnged the role so fast she didnt know what hit her. she was so hot putting up a good fight and almost threw me over the bed, but me holding on and her breathing in the choth took over her will to fight me. i threw her on the bed and just took her pussy from her and made her cum like mad!  thats was out.

 

note: what we do is  done by to consenting adults who are into these two  different fetishs, thank you and have a nice day

I get emails from female members all the time here is a short few:

 

one saids she reads my blogs and masterbates thinking of me ALL THE TIME.

one emailed me and said DO YOU WANT TO FUCK ME

one emailed me and said i want your COCK!

I get this all the time. how big are you?

I also get WHAT WOULD YOU TO ME? Emails.

 

 

 there are female members who want to .reach out to me and tell me their turn-ons and kinks

I get emails telling me how HOT my blog posts are.

 

I guess its the photos i post, and what i do to broken, and  few trips to the gym and jogging doesn't hurt. lol

 

I also think how icare for her is part of that being sexy.

Today I spent an hour on her behalf just talking to her and being on her side. At one point she so kinda of angry and crying at the sametime. it was scary for few seconds. she knew that when she moved in with me it was temp for now and that Mary would come back 9/10 and i would want my own time since the last time i was by myself was 1/05 and before that was Sept 96. so today is almost 9/1 and i need my own time now till Mary comes back and then moves on with her life. I also wanted her with me for a personal reason that has to do with her happiness.   So as she takes her stuff she starts to cry. do you think she's crying cause we had a great time together 24/7 for 3 weeks or thank you master for bring me in your life..no   she starts to cry saying i don't want her anymore. then i told her to check she got everything and i see she forgot her camera... i think on purpose, but all in all it was a great time being with broken 24/7. i know we could have a life most people could only dream about. she has cooked for me cleaned the house and helped me in different parts of where i live and the sex and scenes were incredible

broken is on the verge of being let go on trust issues. i give her alot of room. more than most master will alow their slaves to have. even if it has to do with vanilla if she created it. i own it and needs my permission specally if it has to do with my likeness. i have openned my home to her to give her the peace she so wants and went against what i want and need for myself. i do for my slave before i do for myself. yes i can punish her hard and hurt, but that is too easy for her cause she can take alot of hurtin. right now i have this bif fkin headache, so i mite be in the market for looking for another female slave.  will say more when the time is right.

if you found that sub or dom you been looking for a long time, but that sub or dom doesnt like your cat or dog. Would you get rid of your pet for your bdsm lifestyle partner?

today broken came home and dressed very sexy in gothic style clothes. she looked so hot that i started to take pics of her. then we moved in the bathroom and i was getting her hot by talking sexy to her and just feeling her up and holding her nose and mouth in a breath play scene and telling that she needs help. will someone please help her. got the idea from the forum haters. I tried not to laugh as I was talking sexy to her. she said to me master can we go hardcover tonight. I told her to say in the bathroom and not cum out. I went to the kitchen and took out a bottle of relaxant and put some on a  rag. i didn't do her for a long time, so i felt good about doing her. when i went into the bathroom i shut the lights off fast and grabbed her from behind and held the rag tightly over her nose and mouth. she tried to fight me but of cause i just have a little to much muscle. then all of a sudden she went limp and i held her as i lied her on the floor. i started to hold her nose and mouth shut knowing she would reach a level of trying to live and try to stop me even though she was almost knocked out. well it wore off and told her to so to the sofa and rest it off.

 

Guess what I got more relaxant and did her again on the sofa. Her mouth wide open almost put to sleep again. I closed her mouth and stuck my tongue in there and she started to suck it and I sucked hers and just made out with her and felt her up. She said later I been looking for you all my life.

In the vanilla world there is nothing my slave doesn't do perfect. In the bdsm lifestyle she is 65% there, but lets her heart get in the way what she has to do in being the slave that I want. She is not perfect and I don't want her to be, but as always I want what I want. In the vanilla world I would do anything to keep this gem, but in the bdsm world I can't do that. If I did our m/s relationship will be no more or no more of what we know to be. Sadly life goes on if that would happen.

i got into bdsm when i was 16. i was hanging out with a group of friends. all guys and one friend he found a bunch of porno mags. we told him to go get them and he did. he one mag to me and each of my friends. all were mostly playboy, but he put in my hand the only bondage mag he had. i opened and look at the picture of these bound and gaged ladies and i just got this big hard on and i had a orgasm without touching myself and said this is for me

I got up to piss and it happened that my slave was sitting on the toilet. I guess taking a piss. As I went in the bathroom she started to yell at me please master please! I didn't understand her yelling since i didn't want to bother her and i was just going to the tub to piss. then she yelled again please master please. then had enough. i just got up and i was out all night the night before, so i just start to slap her around the head and shoulders and told her to shut the fuck up. when  I laid down I was so mad that i got back up and when after again in the living room and told her she had a choice to leave now or get whipped very hard. she choice to stay, but i changed my mid and had her stay in the bathroom and sleep there for 4 hrs without food. i did give her a pillow and exercise mat to sleep on. hey i have a heart. i ordered her to right in a notebook what she did and how it wont happen again. then i woke her up from her little sleep and gave her a large enema and fucked her while she held it in.   this is her punishment weekend. There is a lot more to come. Part of her being really broken.

 

My slave has no privacy. Now before she goes to the bathroom in the house she has to have me with her.

I find it very hard to be get into a hardcore kinky roleplaying scene with the music from the mr.softy icecream truck blasting outside my place. what would you do? wink

Unless it a big bdsm scene where curtain clothes are worn and curtain toys are used. I always go for the spur of the moment. Like today with my slave broken. We ate out and watched a movie at home, but during that time I punished her, relaxed her and took her pussy from her many times during the 9 hrs we were together. I even fucked her 3 times during the course of us watching the movie. I love what we do when it is not planned. It makes things so much hotter.

me and my slave broken like to get into hardcore take down r*pe scenes. She puts up a good fight, but I know shes not fighting me off with all shes got, so I asked her next time we do that kind of scene to fight back with all shes got. She told she afraid to hurt me and take me down. Lets say Broken has a part time job as a Bodyguard. I said to myself. What should I do? If we do a hardcore scene and she puts her all into it and does take me down. If that happened. How will I ever have the upper hand in this m/s relationship?  So should I go for it or just pretend I didnt hear what she said and not push her on to fight back with all she got. wink lol

I talked to enough ladies and heard their stories about meeting a person online who claims to be a dom, but when that that lady meets that dom. The only sex they have is vanilla.

 

Your thoughts.

some will go out all lenghts to be in a m/s relatioship. even have one that is online only. honestly i tried it when i first went online. its a fools game. taking and giving orders to someone you never saw in your life. i have talked to some who had an online relationship for years and that is very sad. to have an relationship with someone you never touched. if you never meet in real life it will burn out. most. who have online relationships already have someone in their life real time. again its a fool's game. you are no real master/domme or no real slave if you play it oeenline and you will never reap the benefits of a real m/s relationship.

its been a tough few days for me with my ex leaving for a month. I just wanted to spend quality time with her because she is going on a plane and you never know what is going to happen. My relationship with her was basically gone two  years after we met, but we had this gift of the touch for each other, so i held on. if you wasn't for my passion for photography. i would of never knew  how really alone i was. dont get me wrong  we did a lot of kinky shit and made tons of love, but there was a lot missing. it was not a 24/7 m/s relationship and that was ok. love is love. we traveled to different part of the world together and the truth  she is  very hot and very adorable and so is her voice. i took care of her and almost did everything for her. i love to make her laugh. there also was a lot missing. i see that she wouldn't go that extra mile for me as i would do for her and sometimes even cared about money more me. we also fought a lot of battle in the outside world and we  most of the time won and we fought a lot of battles with each other. At 5'5" 120lbs. She never backed down even to me, but she was always very submissive in bed and would put up a good fight before she let herself be taken lol wink. in this relationship i been crying since 2/8/05. Daily other than one week that she got me real mad. We are never on the same level and our goals were 90% never the same

broken may not see her master till this cumming tuesday and of cause she was crying about and talking back of cause about being punished over a cat. it not the cat. im a cat person is that she was not there for her master so im not there for her. she doesnt want her daily life to be uncontrolled or un directed by me. She needs to fell other kind of pain and that is the pain of her short lived freedom.

 

i want to thank all who wanted to become my friend and thank all who take the time to text me and tell me their thoughts about my blog post, but i prefer you make comments on the blog post your read so others can read what you have said and learn from it.

 

my live in mary is leaving this monday night and i just want to spend as much time as i can with her. she taking a plane to a latin country and you just never know. i want to send her off with as much love i can give has her friend. its going to kill me when she leaves and this has nothing to do with broken, mary cant walk in her shoes, but i have very very very strong feelings for mary and i need to do what is right. i payed alot of bills this month and told mary to take the money she was going to give me for the house bills and give it to her family as my gift.

i get emails sometimes telling me how hot and sexy i am because of the strengh and control that i show. Also including my self-confidence in what i do. specially in the bdsm lifestyle.

we those skills took years to develop and there were plenty of mistakes along the way.

it took me a long time to love myself. Basically that process started when i was 29 and to this day i still fall down, but i always get back up. i have my own issues still to do with. there are times when i cant be strong. there are times where i cant be the dom my slave wants at that moment. sometimes the vanills person in me takes over and I become that caretaker and good doer and not quite that dom everybody knows about. i guess yo call that being human.

not very scene i do with my slave cums out the way i want it to. one time i had my slave on the bed on her side tied, but not gaged. i was fucking her hard and i felt good. then all of a sudden she tells me your not inside. not inside i said. am i in your ass. she said no. i asked what am i fkin. she said i dont know. we both started to laugh so hard.

another time i was fkin broken in the ass with a dildo very hard. then she screams in pain. you are not in my ass, but you are making another hole. lol lol.   one day broken and i were eating in the dinner and she did something i didnt like, so i started to go off on her, but i had some food on my fork. as i was helling at her in public. the food on my fork went flying. she just started to laugh and so did i and i yelled. CUT TAKE ONE. LOL

 

in my world

 

today i wanted my slave to cum to my place again to serve me an service me, and to continue her training and breaking her in as my new live 24/7 slave. Well I get this text that she found this very mentally disturbed cat and she was going to get it help. I didnt say anything and I texted her just saying later. She knew something as wrong. I told what I wanted todo with her today and that I had to masterbate. So if I masterbated that means I was by myself and if I can cum by myself. Why do  I need you!  She texted me was sorry and that she wont do that again and I should cum first in her life. I told her she did the right thing, but she still will be punished for it

she finally came over to where i live. As soon as she came in she put her stuff down an kneeled at the side of my bed. I told her not to talk unless she was spoken too by me. I ordered her to stand bend over near the beed. I ordered her to drop her pants and panties. Then I just put my cock into her wet pussy and fucked her. After that I took some soap and decided to clean her pussy and ass out. Of cause master bate her as I clean her good. I decided to finih her off with baby oil and baby power. Then I ordered to lie next to me in bed as I love when she lays her head on my my chest and puts her hands on my cock and balls and starts to massage me. Then I gave her  bandana and told he to gag herself. Then I handcuffed her from the front. laided her down on her side put something on a rag and forced it over her face as I took her pussy from her which I did this a few times. I got mad that I couldnt cum, so I took out a smal whip that SHE bought me and whiped her good and boy did she cry hard. Then I talk to her and started my teaching her what I want from her 24/7.