H4T

Every man I have invested any time in on this site has turned out to be a cowardly, lying piece of shit. Fuck all of you.

Someone PLEASE convince me this site is not a shithole full of fat weirdos!

It amazes me that so many men here are constantly complaining about fakes and scammers. My experience here has been a lot of "lookie loos" and no one interested in actually making a connection. I haven't contacted many men on here. One or two I've contacted and they haven't had the courtesy to respond. Yet they are on here multiple times a day, again, just window shopping. I've also had some great "starts" to potential situations, only to find out the guys were married, wanted a harem, etc. One guy wanted me to meet him at his house when his wife was at work. Total lack of class. I've had guys promise to change my opinion of Collarspace, but that has yet to happen. It's unfortunate, because I am an outstanding woman and a fantastic sub.

It seems to me the majority of men on here don't really want to actually meet anyone.

If it's obvious to me that you haven't read through my profile, I will delete your message. I am very specific about what I'm looking for. (Guys over 55, this means you!)

I love reading profiles of bad ass "Doms" who don't even have a command of basic English spelling and grammar. SUCH a turn on, tough guy.

Not really looking on this site anymore. Too many fakes, married men, liars and time wasters. I'll leave my profile for the hell of it.

Men:  you really are such simple creatures!  So why, after 30 years of trying, can I STILL not figure you out?  You give me migraines.

How to not be rude? I am a very kindhearted person by nature and want to be nice to everyone. Unfortunately, I am getting second and third rounds of messages from guys I have already politely declined. Since some folks clearly haven't A)read my profile, or B)gotten the hint, I've taken the "cruel to be kind" approach and blocked a whole slew of profiles. I hated doing it, and I feel badly about it, but this is all just unmanageable as it is. Sorry. I hope we all find what we're looking for.

"There are people who cannot resist the desire to get into a cage with wild beasts and be mangled. They go in even without revolver or whip. Fear makes them fearless..."

I was told by a friend to stay away from this site because it's a cesspool. I wish someone would prove him wrong.

I am having great difficulty with the messaging features of this site, regardless of which device I use, phone, tablet, or PC.  If you have messaged me and have not heard back, it doesn't mean I'm ignoring you.  I have tried to send messages three or four times and they disappear into space, or I get a "captcha" security check which goes nowhere.  Frustrating.  But it's free, so I'm trying not to complain too much. :)

I guess the "fresh meat" smell has dissipated. It was nice being popular for a couple of days.

I received an email from another site saying I was reported as fake or as a spammer. The irony.

Wow! Wish I knew where this came from so I could give proper attribution.  Idealized, yes, but perhaps not impossible.  (Emphasis is mine.) "A Dominant should be a guide, a protector, a teacher. A Dom should ALWAYS have the best interest of the Submissive at heart. Being a Dominant is about taking responsibility. About stepping up to the plate and saying: “My shoulders are big enough to bear the weight, to accept the responsibility that comes with taking control.” A Dominant is a leader, a doer not a talker; someone who is willing and ready to provide another person with what they need. A Dominant needs to know and accept that many Submissives will appear in a manner that the Dom might perceive to be needy. If the Dom isn’t happy to accept the emotional needs of the Submissive, then the Dom isn’t ready to take ownership of a Submissive. A selfish person can never be a true Dom. They are a child in an adult’s body. A cruel Dom is nothing more than a kid with a magnifying glass burning ants and playing God. Submissives will rebel, fight back, be disobedient, bratty, insubordinate, and just like a child they will generally test the limits of the Dominant. This is where the good Dominant shines, he won’t feel threatened, and they won’t lose control, or become emotional. This is an opportunity where a Dominant can display why they are in charge, and why the Submissive can trust them with control of their lives. Correction, discipline, and punishment should be structured, fair, controlled, un-emotive, and relevant. It will reinforce the rules, the need for the rules, and the positions of Dom and Sub. It will give the Submissive what all Subs crave; a feeling of safety within the confines of a caring D/S relationship with clear boundaries and rules. Afterwards the Sub should feel a positive sense of purpose and direction, knowing that the Dominant is striving to achieve the absolute best for the Sub.The D/s relationship needs to maintain balance. For every slap of the hand, swing of the flogger, or stroke of the cane, it needs to be equally counterbalanced with a kiss, a hug, a stroke of the hair, and a whisper of a kind word. A good Dom genuinely wants to see the submissive, grow, and improve as both a person and as a Sub. As such the Dom won’t just use the power granted him by the D/s relationship for sexual gains or amusement; they will endeavor to institute rules and instructions that will break bad habits, provide the Sub direction, focus and drive, and generally enrich the life of the Sub."

I realized that you can see the last time someone looked at your profile (if they're logged in, apparently).  So, sorry guy whose profile I've looked at 50 times.  I'm not a stalker, I swear. Off to hang my head in shame now...

Feeling feisty this morning. One of the biggest frustrations in my career is "people" who don't read directions. Here, it translates to READ THE PROFILE. Not wanting to give you my phone number on the first message is not "playing games," nor is my unwillingness to meet you tomorrow. I'm a sub, not stupid. I don't "play games," especially with my own safety. I don't feel comfortable giving a photo immediately. Read the profile! I have a very specific "type." We all have our kinks. Read the profile! Messaging me every hour on the hour will get you ignored. Read the profile! It's not in the profile, but rude messages will get you ignored. I can't even believe I have to specify this. Finally, if you have the word "cunt" or something otherwise graphic in your profile name, I will most likely not respond. Behind closed doors, I'll give as good as I get. This is what a lot of men don't get: you want between my legs? You need to go through my brain first. (Can you feel my frustration?)

Why do people not realize it takes exactly four clicks to figure out if a picture is fake?  If you can find it on the Internet, so can I.   Starting to feel like an ugly teenager.  I'm not interested in those that are interested in me, and vice versa.

My BDSM "test."  Not sure how accurate these are, but it's food for thought.  == Results from bdsmtest.org ==  79% Submissive  68% Exhibitionist  64% Voyeur  61% Rope bunny  56% Masochist  56% Brat  55% Boy/Girl  53% Experimentalist  52% Primal (Prey)  47% Ageplayer  44% Vanilla  41% Slave  27% Pet  22% Non-monogamist  9% Rigger  6% Degradee  3% Degrader  2% Owner  2% Primal (Hunter)  1% Daddy/Mommy  1% Switch  0% Dominant  0% Master/Mistress  0% Sadist

I'm still getting the "lay of the land" here.  I have received many messages, as I'm sure is typical when a "new" female joins the group.  I am trying to get back to everyone as much as possible.  I hope this doesn't get me banned, but I don't find this site that user friendly.  I'm  fairly proficient in web skills, and I couldn't figure out how to attach a damned photo to a message!  It took me over a week just to set up an account because the site was having problems.  Anyway, happy to be here now! (Please don't cancel my account!)    Online "dating" in its many forms can be a feat of endurance, for lack of a better term.  I have some limited experience on other sites, and what I've found on most vanilla sites is that many of the men on those sites want a supermodel with a PhD.  I am not one to criticize men in general, because I LOVE men, obviously, but a lot of the men I've encountered on vanilla sites tend to be arrogant, delusional, or prone to freak outs.  Many of them tend to greatly overestimate their desirability.  Others tend to be SO pushy.  I'll give you dudes some advice:  messaging me ten times in one day when I haven't had a chance to respond to your first message is NOT a turn-on.  It's stalkerish!  Now, I realize some women like that.  I don't.  I also realize that we women can be just as bad as men in "dating" behaviors, so we're all guilty.  It's this world that we live in and we are all just finding our way.  What I do like about this site is that it requires users to be specific as to their wishes and that's by design.  It's helpful. Exploring an entirely new lifestyle has been invigorating in a way vanilla dating is not.  Vanilla dating has been, at times, a soul crushing confidence destroyer.  I have never been told I was unattractive in my life.  In fact, I would say I'm objectively attractive.  But I am no selfie queen.  I modeled when I was in my late teens and early twenties; just local print ads and the occasional fashion show because I'm short, but I met (and still meet, I think) society's objective standards for beauty.  I have lush, thick longer curly hair.  Very fair skin.  Light brown eyes. High cheekbones.  Full lips. I'm voluptuous and curvy (and I don't mean that they way so many use it these days as a euphemism for obese), and have naturally large breasts.  But the thing we need to remember is that time takes its toll on us all.  I am not the stick-with-boobs that I was at 25.  I am a full grown forty-five year old woman.  You don't get the maturity, intelligence, and life experience of almost middle age without living to almost  middle age!  This has everything to do with why I love submission. To have a strong, firm, commanding man take control of my body, mind, emotions and erotic pleasure is an unimaginable relief and release.   So aside from what's in my profile, I'll elaborate a little more on the type of Dom I am seeking.  I am not interested in a twenty five year old hard body gym rat.  I'm not interested in a fifty year old hard body gym rat, for that matter.  I am interested in a REAL man, who has lived life, and is in complete command of his intellect and emotions.  I am a social drinker but am not interested in a man who drinks to excess.  Same with drugs.  I have no problems with marijuana (because I don't really consider it a drug) outside of play.  I do like a bigger man, because although I'm not a tiny thing, I do like a man who can throw me around a little.  I am an educated woman, but that is not to say I insist on a man with an equal education, or even any formal education at all.  I know many folks who are auto-didactic and are great conversationalists and plenty smart.   I like a man who reads.  I like a man who keeps up with current events, but I'd rather not discuss today's political climate.  I like confidence but not arrogance.  And although you can't really tell from what I've posted so far, I also enjoy a good sense of humor and love to have fun.   The words people most often use to describe me are "sweet" and "kind."  If you get to know me you'll know why. But never mistake those attributes for naivete, because to put it bluntly, I've seen some shit.  If you get to know me well, you'll understand what that means.  I've also been told by several Doms that I am the "perfect sub."  Now whether that was true or they just wanted to get me naked,  tied up, and collared, I don't know.   Anyway, if you read my ramblings this far, thanks for hanging in! Have a great night, and I hope we all find what we are looking for and deserve!

Female Switch, 25, Denton, Texas

Male Dominant, 25, Longview, Texas

Female Switch, 52, Merced, California