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I have a submissive now, so I will entertain conversation only at this point.
Note: Please do not email me with just one line. Put some thought into what you want to say. I put a great deal of thought into my emails, I would hope that others would do the same.
A little about me. I am a divorced father of two boys. I am a musician, and my musical tastes are very diverse. I am an avid reader, I like mystery, suspense and horror. I am a frustrated writer of short stories... I haven't been published as yet but I haven't tried very hard either. I love the outdoors and enjoy fishing, hiking and boating. I love movies and have a pretty decent collection of DVD's. I love to cook and try new and exciting things.
What I am looking for: A slave mostly, however the right submissive would be great too. The woman for me would be able to be a lady to the world and a slut in the bedroom. Now, that is not to say that I wouldn't allow my slave/sub to be slutty elsewhere... it is basically just a deion. My ideal slave/sub would be intelligent, well spoken, and have a good sense of humor. Even though I seek a slave this does not mean that I would treat them without respect, dignity and honor. I believe as a Master that when you own someone, even though they are there for my use, that does not mean that they will be treated like shit. I mean, think about if you own a car, you wash it, wax it, change the oil, maintain it regularly and listen for problems. If that amount of respect is due to a car, then how much more should a slave have? I realize what Slave means... that dynamic is not lost on me. I know there are some who think they are worthless meat and that is fine, but it is still my duty to be sure they are kept well and treated as something valuable.
This profile is a work in progress.
If you want to know more, please feel free to email me. |
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New pictures added of my cat "Alley" |
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Could it be that another year has almost gone by? As I get older it seems that time moves so quickly and that more hours are needed in a day. Life is too short to not appreciate each and every day.
I would like to thank all of you who have written to me regarding my Dad and Mom. My Dad is doing great and is as healthy as ever. My Mom on the other hand is not doing so well and I continue to struggle with her safety being in a house all alone. I just do not understand the mentality of someone who is well aware of her limitations and yet is so blind to the solutions that are offered to her. I guess that I will just have to wait and see what happens.
My kids... God do they grow up too quickly. My oldest boy (19) is looking into college and I am very proud of him because he seems to be growing into a fine young man. My 12 year old is just as chipper as ever and the world is filled with excitement and wonder for him. I hope that he never loses that facet of his personality.
My band is beginning to take off. After replacing our drummer we now have a guy in there that is outstanding and has the laid back attitude that we all have. We have one gig scheduled for February and two other possibilities for gigs in January and March. I do not expect to get rich as a musician... hell, I'll be lucky to pay off my equipment with what I will earn, but I am damned excited to be entertaining people again. That is one of the greatest feelings in the world to me.
I wish all of you a great holiday and a Happy New Year. |
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It has been a while since I have updated this so... here goes.
Chaos. This is my life right now and it is very tiring and stressful. There may be another issue with my Dad's heart but I won't know for a few days, perhaps weeks. Major changes are on the horizon if, in fact, he has to have a third heart surgery. I am trying to keep a level head but it isn't easy.
My mother is not doing well either. Suffice it to say that I am trying to persuade her to go into an assisted living situation. It would give her the help she so desperately needs and it would give me a little break from having to attempt to take care of her.
Chaos.
You know, I am not quite sure what the point of all of this is anymore. I feel as if I have gone 12 rounds with a heavyweight prizefighter. Life sometimes buffets you around like a rowboat on the open sea during a storm. It takes so much strength to just do the day to day things sometimes. I don't want to retreat from my responsibilities but a break from things would be welcomed with an embrace. I sometimes wonder if that break will ever come... I am realistic enough to realize that this is what life is about. My approach to things has always been to try, the best that I can, to deal with whatever is thrown at me and roll with the punches. I grow tired of that but I also know that if I quit I may as well just pack it in.
My grandfather told me on his death bed that the minute you stop fighting that you are finished. So I survive. I adapt. I try my best. And I fight and refuse to cave in to everything.
I am sure that I don't sound like a dominant but I don't much care about that. I am a human being and I have emotions, feelings and problems. I am not a robot. I try to be as open and honest as I can be with others. To some this is not a good thing because their illusion of love and the BDSM relationship is one where angels sing in the background through every waking moment. If that is what you want, move along. I am not for you. If you want someone that feels, cares, empathizes and loves then, perhaps... just perhaps, there might be something worth looking into. I make no claims to be something other than what I am.
I have said enough. Some people will judge me based on what I have said here, I don't care. People may think what they want of me... they will anyway. |
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Well, it's a New Year and already things are crazier than last year... although last year will be tough to beat. I had a great time over the holidays with my family. I rang in the new year with both my sons sitting by my side watching Dick Clark. You know, I was really inspired by the fact that Dick Clark came back to do his New Years thing, but it warmed my heart to watch this man, who suffered a stroke, talk and move around. I also gained a great respect for the people at ABC for bringing him back. It wasn't the "trendy Hollywood flawless superstar" we saw... it was a regular guy who just loves what he does. My kids thought it was great as well.
My Dad is doing well and he has far exceeded his doctors expected timetable for his recovery. He gets tired a lot quicker now, but the man will turn 70 next month... he is entitled.
I have been quite busy with some personal matters so I am not quite back on collarme as yet, I hope things to settle down a bit sooner rather than later.
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I have added the Interest section to my profile. I felt silly doing some of that because it is so hard to pigeonhole everything into a like or dislike, especially when I am beginning in this lifestyle. I have a few things that I am curious about and some things I like the idea of, but I am not quite sure that they are for me. Allow me to clarify a few things. I am not against religion, I put on the list that I tolerate almost everything but I do identify most closely with Christianity. I am no Bible thumper and I can't remember the last time I was inside of a church for a service. My spirituality is a personal thing and it really is nothing that I am willing to discuss unless I know you well. I have my reasons for that. I do not think that everyone should think like I do... if they did I would be very concerned for the future of the human race.
Politics is taboo and it only serves to piss me off because it is all basically a joke. I still believe in the right to vote, but it truly is the choice of the lesser of two evils and not who is the best person for the job. Therefore politics is a clear dislike for me, although I do pay a little attention to it, I would rather have my scrotum ripped off by a food blender than delve into a political conversation.
In the BDSM interest section, I realize that I have many things listed that I am "Curious" about. That means what it says, I am curious about that item it does not necessarily make it an interest.
Lastly, as an update, my Dad is doing well. He is recovering nicely. And thanks again for your thoughts and prayers for him. |
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I have much to be thankful for although life isn't ideal it is sufficient and I am truly blessed by the people I have in my life. My Dad came home yesterday and he was quite relieved to be there. I am taking my mother out for Thanksgiving dinner in a few minutes and then I am going over to visit my Dad. Football and cribbage will be on the menu for us.
I want to wish everyone a Happy Thanksgiving. |
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As my Dad would say, "The good Lord willing and the creek don't rise," he will be coming home tomorrow from the hospital. This has been very stressful over these past several days and weeks prior to the surgery. I am burned out. I have little energy but I push myself to do what I have to.
People keep writing to me and being a support that I didn't expect. I am so thankful for all of you that have written to me and given my Dad your time and prayers and thoughts. Just when I begin to think that humanity is on a crash course with disaster, people like those that wrote remind me that there are others out there that care and practice kindness. It is refreshing to say the least.
Happy Thanksgiving to all! |
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I just got back from the hospital. My Dad made it through the surgery OK. They replaced a valve and repaired another valve, they also put wires in for a pacemaker but it is undecided if he will need one or not. I am still on pins and needles because it isn't an easy thing to sit there and watch a loved one in pain and be helpless to do anything for them. I am hoping the worst is over and it is uphill from here. Time will tell.
Thanks again to all of you wonderful people that have been supportive and written words of encouragment to me. Your prayers and thoughts have been comforting. I will post more soon. |
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My Dad went to see the surgeon on the 2nd. It was a good news, bad news thing. The good news (if you can call it that) is that they are going to replace his mitral valve with a metal valve. That valve should last about 25 years or more, my Dad told the surgeon that he wanted to schedule the appointment now to get it replaced in 25 years. The bad news is that this valve is very bad and is regurgitating blood back into the atrium of his heart. This has caused damage to the heart. He has two chambers of his heart that aren't just enlarged, they are huge. The doctor told him that he could try to make them smaller but the chance of success was slim and not worth the risk. He also informed my Dad that he will be checking other valves in his heart and that he will also look for blockages in any arteries around the heart and if necessary, perform bypass on them. The surgery is scheduled for the 17th of November. The surgery will take about 5 to 6 hours, possibly more if bypass is needed. The risks go up the longer he is under the knife.
I want to thank everyone that has written to me and wished my father well and is offering prayer for him. I also want to say how wonderful it is that there are people out there who really do care. I want to thank you for your support and offers of lending an ear if I need it.
I will post more here as things develop. |
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My father has to have open heart surgery very soon. If I have contacted you and I have fallen off of the map it is because I am attending to that. I am very close with my Dad so this is a very scary time for me. I just wanted to put something down here to explain what is going on. I appreciate your understanding and I will be back in touch soon. |
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