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It is perfectly acceptable to suddenly break into song. It’s perfectly charming, too. |
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After a flurry of interest, everyone seems to have gone "poof." |
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Boy...Valentine's Day sure brought out the lonely trollers! |
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For the first time, someone put me over their knee on my birthday. WHY HAS THIS NEVER BEEN DONE BEFORE??? It was amazing! I had to count out the spankings...I now understand sub space. |
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Why is it that you can have a stimulating conversation for days, even weeks, and then communication is completely cut off? Do they think that we can't see them online? Do they not realize how hurtful that is? If you have changed your mind, at least have the courtesy and decency to say so. Or, more than likely, you have reached the end of your creativity being a fake!
Stop wasting our time!!
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How is it that the same person can break your heart over and over and over? When do you finally learn and walk away for good? |
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Is it smart to start over? |
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Why is it that every victory is then met with defeat and you have to start from the beginning all over again? |
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So I start again...hoping to find what I truly desire. |
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Clearly I'm learning impaired...why did I think happy ever after existed? |
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I have a shot at happy ever after but it wasn't found here! |
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"if happy ever after did exist..."
wouldn't that be nice? |
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Here I was thinking I had that wound all bound up and healing. And then one text opens it up again and I'm right back where I started....a sobbing mess with a broken, exposed heart. Is this ever worth it? Makes me wonder if trying again is really what I want to do. |
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Considering a change to my status as I have SO been enjoying online Domme'ing!!
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Complete disregard...is there any greater betrayal? |
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it seems that the thing that I longed for most came only at the end with no hope of a future...it was a wonderful journey and I'm deeply saddened that it is over. I'll never regret it for a moment because I gained more than the pain. Maybe now the healing can begin. |
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what does the future hold? |
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what about me? I like to cum too! |
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what a surreal event...did it really happen? |
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I will always be owned...no matter what. |
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Oh that wonderful, fateful day...how well I fit in your arm, and the shuddering orgasms (from us both), and the absent minded meal, and the flip side encounter. Was it a beginning or an end? Only time will tell the true outcome. But no matter what it is, there will always be the heartfelt love. That will never vanish. |
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Today, for the first time, you touched me the way I have been longing to be touched for years. How did you know? |
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Isn't it splendid that we're on the same page again? |
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and the distance continues to grow.... |
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The depth of betrayal and disregard is more than I can bear. After all my love and support for so long...to be simply cast aside. I deserve better. |
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Just when I thought I had learned everything about you, you reveal something that serves to reinforce why I adore you! |
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Is there anything more exhilarating than the first modeling of new thigh high boots? |
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Isn't it amazing how full 18 minutes can really be? |
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I had my feet tickled today and the sensation was amazing. It wasn't about the actual feeling but about the way it made me feel. I had no idea how intimate that activity could be. But if you think about it...you don't casually tickle someone's feet...that is reserved for strengthening the connection that you already have with someone. When we laugh and play together, we grow together.
It was an unexpected surprise! |
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I needed a reminder today about who I belong to and what I am allowed to do. It was not a pleasant experience and I should have known better. But because I belong to such a loving and caring Master, I was forgiven quite quickly and reassured that I will not be forsaken. And I was given a gift later that I truly desired. We will have to put forth a lot more work in the future to make this happen but it will be worth the effort. All things worth having are worth fighting for and this is no exception. |
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Oh what a difference a day can make! From a feeling of complete despair back to the realization that I am owned and collared. Thank you, Master!! |
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I'm having a lot of fun reaching out to others and exploring my domme side. I remain cognizant, however, that I am being allowed to do this and that it is not my sole right to do it. Everything I do is ruled by Master and I love it! |
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Isn't it fantastic that after three years, we are still learning about and from one another. We continue to be honest and open with one another without grudges and it really is working for us. How did we get so lucky as to find one another? I simply do not know how I would exist without you or how I got through all the time before I discovered you. I truly feel that what we have is what people talk about...finding the love of your life. And if there's a little kink thrown in for fun, what could be better? |
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You continue to amaze with your seemingly effortless ability to make me so unfathomably happy with something as simple as a look or a touch or a gesture. My happiness is so overwhelming that it literally brings me tears of joy. Thank you for being the only person ever in my life to have this power over me. |
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My longing for you is like a deep hunger that I cannot satisfy. I crave your touch and a connection with you. Days without contact or brief encounters are not enough. I must have you but I also know that I cannot dictate that. Please consider my desire to serve you and take pity on this lonely sub. |
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You look at me and make me feel like the most desirable, sexy woman on the face of the planet...thank you for making me feel so secure and unashamed in your arms!
And while you say that I would do this with no other, I get the distinct impression that you would be hard pressed to find another as well. It makes me feel all the more special. And that what we share is unique.
While you haven't said it, I feel your true emotion...it is evident in everything you do. The way you touch me, both physically and emotionally, the way you speak to me, and the way you provide me with the gifts of your time and your consideration. I love you too!
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"you're not allowed"
I never thought I would be so elated to be told that
and LIKE it!
I do so love being owned |
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What a wonderful, easy day we had. The encounter was as it should be...each getting what they wanted and needed and both able to bask in the afterglow. No pressure, no regrets, no judgments...just joy. "tis the season" for joy. And peace. And love. |
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For whatever reason, the greatest revelation just hit me...you are what I have been waiting and hoping my whole life to find. |
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Master introduced me to his long time friend, Emma, this week. She is very shy and demure but a true joy to be around. I know that she will be an interesting addition to our relationship. I only hope that over time she is able to become more self confident and able to push her boundaries. |
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the perfect fit
is there anything else to say? |
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if I didn't have you - are there sweeter words? |
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You used my name today...do you have any idea how hot that was? And I love the branding. |
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The time without contact has been torture although I know there was no way around it. You fill my thoughts and desires. I long to hear you again. |
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You almost said what I have felt for a very long time. Don't be afraid to express yourself. It will be accepted and reciprocated. |
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Hands on the hood. Your self restraint is exasperating! (grins) |
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What a wonderful time...amazing how even brief interludes feed my soul. |
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The things I miss made an appearance but they are desired now even more! |
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The things I miss:
your firm hand
your swift blow
your commanding tugs
your powerful hold
your restrictive bondage
your stern directives
your sweet voice
your alluring scent
your soft carresses
your gentle touch
These are the thoughts that fill my days and nights.
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Remember, everything happens for a reason whether you understand that reason when it happens or not. Stand firm. Be proud. Never lose your sense of self-worth and never doubt your value! |
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How is it that the wonderful opportunity to be with you is followed by sadness at not continuing to be with you? Today was a gift that I so appreciate. It has been far too long since I have been able to have your arms around me. The way you touch me makes me feel safe and takes away all the daily pressures if only for a brief time. Words are not needed to explain the feelings that come with being together. Your presence calms me and brings me to a different level of existence. I wish we could live in that place always. Maybe someday... |
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How do you always know precisely what I need, when I need it, without me saying a word? You're amazing!! Thank you for giving me everything I desire. |
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Every day I am amazed by your resilency, tenacity, and strength. I am so proud of you! |
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The knowledge that you long for the sound of my voice as much as I long for yours makes my heart flutter. While we can't always be together, being able to speak allows our bond to grow. |
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You fill my heart. I have never been wanted before and now that I know your wish, I desire no other to want me. |
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The desire to belong to him......knowing he wants me to belong to him........could anything be better? |
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He revealed that he has a plan for who he wants me to be. That revelation brought tears to my eyes...just knowing that he envisions who I can be for him brings me joy. He has no idea how these snipets of information touch me. |
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His thoughtfulness shows me he thinks about me almost as often as I think about him. |
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I would be eternally contented to lie in the loving embrace of your protective arms for the rest of my life. The thought of falling asleep and awaking in that embrace gives me cause to hope and reason to rejoice. Thank you for making me feel secure and loved. |
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I have been consumed by thoughts of you with your name upon my lips. Longing to touch you and needing to be touched. Thank you for your continued concern over me and care of me. |
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Today was a day I didn't think would ever happen but oh how I have hoped for it! What Master said to me today stole my heart (as if it were not already his). The spontaneous declaration of emotion and longing brought me to tears of joy!! This day will never, ever be forgotten. I hope he truly understands the hold that he has over me and how much I cherish that. |
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As I read other journals and get a glimpse into the lives of others, I am overwhelmed at how fortunate I am to have a Master who rules with compassion. The mere fact that he understands what a gift submission is and that it should not be taken lightly gives me great comfort. Ours is a relationship not to be compared to any other. It is negotiated and agreed upon by both equally. No one can dominate or submit without the consent of the other...a truly symbiotic union. |
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Master and I discussed my bad behavior last week. He assured me that while it cannot always be a reality, he truly desires to see and speak with me every day. It is unacceptable for me to doubt that...EVER! I have to learn my place and trust in that. He owns me. And I am so fortunate that he does...I love him with all my heart. |
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The silence is broken and I have been assured that I am not being forsaken. He had no way of knowing about this entry and how I felt. Could it be that he is that in tune with my feelings? |
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My longing for contact is so overwhelming that I can hardly function. Am I being neglected purposefully so that the sensation will be that much more intense when I am granted the opportunity to be with him again? Or has he lost interest in his sub? Does he not find her pleasing any more? Has he found another that serves him better? Please tell me my love has not been misplaced. |
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Why is it that the extreme ecstasy of being held and nurtured by Master is almost inevitably followed by quiet, desperate days yearning for the smallest of contact? What is this power that he holds over me? |
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The anticipation of this day is almost more than I can bear. I have a plan to set the scene for today but what happens will be completely up to Master. Oh, the possibilities.... |
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I was blessed with an opportunity to see Master last night and I did not live up to his expectations. Why is it that I can so quickly revert into old habits and the cover of shyness? My inability to do what he wanted when he wanted it nearly brought me to tears. To his credit, he sticks with me and coaxes it out of me. He knows the desire to please is lying there, just beneath the surface, and he has taken the time to learn this about me and understands that if he is patient, he WILL get what he asked for. That doesn't mean that I shouldn't be punished for not complying with him immediately but he also tempers that response knowing how hard I try to get past these barriers. He truly understands and appreciates the turmoils of a novice sub. |
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No one has ever been able to calm me in the way that he does nor has anyone ever been able to take me in hand when I'm being bratty (and I don't mean in a sexual way) and I have accepted that reprimand. I am still amazed at the way he can make me feel and I cherish it. He has broken down walls that I have had around me for years and he seemed to do it with such ease and without me knowing it. I have never felt so comfortable or unselfconscious about myself physically as when I stand naked in front of him. I have absolutely no shame when he looks upon me. He accepts me and makes me feel wanted and worthy of his desire. And I have never experienced that before. He is truly a gift.
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Master is so patient...he knows how insecure I am and always says the right thing to calm my fears. I cannot imagine a life without him. |
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Master is my world...he gives me so much joy. I wonder if he knows how much I value his tutelage and strength? I also wonder if he knows how much pleasing him pleases me? |
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I love reading Master's emails to all of you and seeing myself referred to as his "sub." It gives my great pleasure. I like seeing that I belong to him and never realized how much I would like it. |
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