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What I'm hoping to find is either f sub or slave or pet Experience is preferred but not essential as have trained 2 novice subs before Would like someone who is real genuine sincere honest and communicated well Age size race place is unimportant but chemistry is and commitment What do I like, well I have a wide range of likes and not after any one thing and like trying new things and experiences and have a open mind and like to share and explore if u do too Been in this lifestyle for three years now and couldn't go back to vanilla even if wanted too Ultimately I'm looking for a full time relationship but not adverse to having some fun along the way but don't take that as I sleep around as I don't and not my thing My good points mmmm genuine thoughtful honest realistic warm strict patient firm cheeky naughty respectful good listener My bad points can be impatient and frustrated

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8/14/2012 1:19:08 PM
This is from, "A Submissive's Journey" published in 1994. The author is listed as unknown. I think that this ideal, written from a Dom's point of view, is what a D/s relationship should aspire to be. The Dominant's Creed: The Dominant... Above all else he cherishes his submissive, in the knowledge that the gift she gives him is the greatest of all. He is demanding and takes full advantage of the power given to him, but knows how to share the pleasure that comes from that precious gift. He is in control of himself first and foremost, so that he may control others. As a stern and demanding Dominant, he can cause his sub to cry real tears. As the consummate lover, he will then kiss the tears away, without ever stepping out of character. In times of trouble, a Dominant will leave the roles behind, to be a supportive friend and partner, never forgetting that this is still a loving relationship between two caring individuals. He is quick to understand the differences between fantasy and reality. He would never ask a submissive to put him before her career, or family, just to satisfy his own pleasure. To win his submissive's mind, body and soul, he knows he must first win her trust. He will show his submissive humor, kindness, and warmth. He must also show her that his guidance and tutoring is knowledgeable and deserving of her attention, that this is a man she can learn from, and trust his direction. He is romantic enough to be protective and chivalrous. When called upon, he will fight for his ladies' honor. He proves to her that he is someone she can lean on, and depend on. He is old-fashioned enough to be a bit of a chauvinist, yet modern enough to respect his woman. Quick to point out the differences between them, he also knows there is no inferiority in those differences. When it comes time to teach his submissive her lessons of obedience, he is a strong and unyielding professor. He will accept no flaw, nothing less than perfection from his student. Never does he use discipline without good reason. When he does, it is always with a knowledgeable and careful hand. He is a careful guide, with safety always his main concern. He knows how to use pain to extend the bounds of pleasure. He is a mentor who can bring her to the edges of her envelope, and gently show her the inner courage to reach new heights. He is always open to communication and discussion, always ready to hear her wants and needs. He is patient, taking the time to learn her limits, and knowing that as her trust of him grows, so will they. He never has to demand ritual behavior by her. She responds to him out the want of pleasing him. Compliance comes from the wanting to please, not the fear of punishment. He understands the fragile nature of mind and body, and never violates the trust given to him. He is secure enough to laugh at himself and the absurdities of life. Courageous enough to accept assistance. Open minded enough to learn new things. Strong enough to grow. His tools are mind, body, spirit and soul with a little help from rope, paddle and blindfold. He understands that each partner gains most from pleasuring the other. And both of them know that love is the only binding that truly holds.

8/10/2012 3:39:17 AM

So been here for a few weeks and it seems just like on dating sites etc that there are lots of fakes and disrespectful peeps on here and a large porpotion of guys who have no idea about communicqating with women  which ruin it for the genuine guys on here which is too be expected i guess, will it ever change and how does the genuine guy stand out on a first message to a potential partner friend on here, RANT over lol


7/30/2012 11:11:28 AM
What's wrong with peeps on here an don't peeps no what respect means anymore these days. Sent someone a polite respectful saying hello and introducing myself an got a message back saying hi u look like a prat just cause I'm wearing earrings ?? Work that one out then lol. This place is a joke simple as

7/27/2012 2:22:48 AM
  • Communication.The ability to communicate, to be understood, to understand, and to act on those, helps build -
  • Confidence in oneself and in others, which are the building blocks of -
  • Trust - which should never be a given, but once earned remain earned until broken. Those who trust each other, in turn, communicate better.
  • Knowledge. Not simply the academical knowledge of what can be found in books and essays, but the knowledge of how to apply it and when to step completely out of the box - see Confidence.
  • The ability to read people - not so much their minds as their moods; it's impossible to figure out exactly what someone thinks, but by reading the subtle cues of body language, vocal intonation and so on, one can become very good at ballparking it. See Communication.
  • The ability to write to people - by projecting confidence, one can have a calming effect on oneself as well as others - note that confidence has nothing to do with Dominance or Submission. See Trust.
  • Honesty begets honesty. Don't play moods or pretend to enjoy things that you do not - while it may seem a quick-and-easy way to improve on one's relationship with another, ultimately this is a way of lying - and lies will rarely be sustainable. See Trust and Communication
  • Clarity begets clarity. Talking openly on one's curiosities and desires, being concise about one's feelings and thoughts, openly speaking on what one knows and what one wishes to learn will allow for greater and easier understanding of one another. see Confidence andCommunication
  • Reliability begets reliability. If one can depend on one another, one can more easilly be independant of one another - which may seem counterintuitive in the context of a D/s relationship - yet if one isn't capable of independance, one isn't capable of being depended upon. If one can be relied upon, then one can rely on others... See Trust andConfidence

Circles within circles within circles; I could keep up the above lines of reasoning for quite some time and every permutation, and make things seem entirely far too complicated.

What it all boils down to me, when it spins and circles well though - is the most important skill, mindset and attitude that one can in my opinion have - to give and to rely on.

Balance

Because without balance - without the ability to balance oneself, without the ability to steady one another, one will find that when it all teeters on the edge, it will lean towards crumbling down rather than tottering back upright.

Be balanced in your Dominance; bend, but never break one's own rules - the rules that you establish for your submissive apply in some fashion to you as well, for you are the one to enforce them. Expecting your submissive to follow your rules without thinking, taking the rules for granted will lead to imbalance.

Be balanced in your Submission; Just as your Dom needs to be consistent, so do you - and just as your Dom needs to uphold the rules, you need to follow them. Struggling may be fun for a while, and indeed is fun from time to time, but constant struggles will bring the house down upon yourself and others.

Be balanced in your relationship. Communicate, be Confident, and Trust; these are the cornerstones of any relationship - give them good, solid foundations to stand on and maintain that fundation so that all can stay inbalance.


7/26/2012 12:29:07 PM
For those who have sent me a message well this site won't let me reply so apologises and will get back to you when I can Mikey

7/26/2012 7:16:06 AM
What a real master does Journal Entry | 1 Comment ? 3 Love It | 5 days ago What a Real Master Does I see so many posts asking what is "normal" for a Master / Mistress / Owner to do. This is my response. This is my opinion only; I honor those who will agree to disagree with me, as well as those whose opinions match mine. A Real Master gets up at 6am on the weekend to take the dogs out because his slave has a migraine. A Real Master hands his slave a glass of wine and tells her to sit down while he does the dishes because the slave had a shitty day at work. A Real Master bows his head and apologizes when his slave points out that he failed to follow through on his word. Then he gives her an amends. A Real Master sees the stress on his slave's face, and stops before asking her to do one more thing. A Real Master punishes his slave when she does something wrong. Because he loves her. A Real Master asks his slave for her preferences, even if he doesn't always go by them. A Real Master asks his slave for her opinions, because he knows her perspective is different than his. A Real Master makes the final decision based on what's best for all involved, even if the best idea came from the slave. And even when that idea is counter to his own. A Real Master recognizes that the checking account has limits and demands that his slave abide by them, even when that means he can't have what he wants. A Real Master refuses to accept excuses, and requires a slave to be on her best behavior, even when she feels whiny. Because he loves her. Because he knows that's the best way to help her stop feeling whiny. A Real Master feels anger, sadness, happiness, fear, shame and a host of other emotions. And encourages his slave to feel all of those too. A Real Master understands that his slave won't always perform perfectly, while setting the atmosphere for perfection to happen. A Real Master goes for a walk, rather than taking his anger out on his slave. A Real Master puts his slave to bed on time, even if that means he won't have a freshly-cleaned towel when he gets out of the shower. A Real Master spends 4 hours working to fix a tiny leak on the boat, never once expressing anger at the slave who accidentally caused the problem. A Real Master uses his hands to punish a slave for willful disobedience. A Real Master uses his hands to hold and comfort a slave when she is overwhelmed with fear. A Real Master waters the basil plants when his slave is away, even if he doesn't like to eat the stuff himself. A Real Master pushes his slave to grow past her fears and limitations. And is there to support her throughout the effort. A Real Master smiles at his slave, and sends all of his emotion in that one action.

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MissSlut
 
 Age: 23
 Melbourne, Australia