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I’m a restraint/confinement fetishist focusing mainly on longer captivity scenarios involving consensual non-consent and forced fetishes. I imagine scenarios similar to how women are kidnapped for sex slavery, except in my case it's for fetish slavery, made to endure benign but humiliating, elaborate, or just plain bizarre fetishes with no way out and with little concern whether I like or not.
I'm romantically straight, but I do a lot of bondage play with guys. I find that since I'm not attracted to them, being held captive and forced to endure fetishes by guys feels more realistic than trying to such scenes with women. For more intimate scenes, I play with women.
In order to maintain a realistic sense of captivity, the bondage/confinement needs to be secure; if I can escape or am just pretending, there is no thrill. Same if I'm given a choice or feel like I can end the scene at any time. It works better when I don't have any real break in between positions and made to stay captive long after the initial thrill of being in bondage wears off. My adrenaline gets pumping if I can struggle, cry, beg to be let go, plead for whatever you are doing to stop, etc but denied and continue to have to endure what you have planned for me (unless there is some clear health issue, numbness, cramping, etc).
As far as play is concerned, I don't react well to the typical edge n stroke play or hard S&M pain play. I don't cum during a scene & typically end up in chastity which has the ironic result of making me aroused but frustrated. Nor am I into pre/post scene intimacy.
Keywords and phrases
Inescapable bondage, locked and secured, leather & medical restraints, straitjackets, sleepsacks, encasement, hoods, muzzles & gags, isolation & abandonment, cages/cells/boxes, chain & padlocks, unique bondage devices, elaborate play spaces & scenarios. Electro-torment, tickling, fondling, molest. Sensory deprivation, psychological, verbal manipulation & taunting. Outfits & costumes. "For my own good" scenarios with control over bodily functions: food, beverage, bathing, urination, defecation, chastity. Things like water torture, breath control, catheters, diapers, laxatives, enemas, forced feeding, etc are on the table if experienced and safe.
Love to do pics and vids, but can't have my face on net.
I can host if necessary and I have a lot of my own gear that I know fits and can be tolerated for longer sessions.
Limits:
Not much into impact pain play for it's own sake, but Ok with light versions of S&M, TT, CBT to get me to squirm and wish I wasn't captive. I can take heavier electro than percussion.
I don't like things in my ass, so I process all anal penetration to be a form of rape play. I can currently take light fingering, small plugs, and some medical related stuff.
Hard limits on heavy pain, piercing/cutting, weapons, anal intercourse, face/head slapping, blood, roman, golden, brown
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Been experimenting with Tumblr as well as . Can't really tell who reads this since there is no commenting and such so if you do, please check out my twitter and tumblr profile for richer posts and updates and things as simple as copy/pasting.
http://fetbuddy.tumblr.com
http://twitter.com/fetbuddy
http://.com/users/427451
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Twitter update
Having fun playing around with Twitter. Testing out a couple different iPhone apps to do to my mobile posts. I see it as a way of broadcasting my pervy thoughts as things occur to me. I can also share stuff I find on the net that is fetish related that I can't do on my vanilla profiles.
Not following much yet. A couple fashion mags, stacy burke, TES. I'm sure I'll accumulate and adjust.
-Fetbuddy
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Twitter account
Created a twitter account to say what comes to mind easier in a way that people beyond collarme can see
follow me at:
http://twitter.com/fetbuddy
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Skirt Watching
It was nearly 75 degrees today so I went down to Union Square to sit with a book and watch the preponderance of women in their spring skirts and dresses. Lots of full skirts, pleated skirts, and even those old peasant skirts that were popular several years back. It was so nice to see after this long cold winter.
I was also up at 34th street and the Old Navy had a window display of their "whirly skirt" collection and had them hooked up to these spinning platforms that simulated what the skirts do when a woman twirls around in them. It got a lot of attention from the throngs of people as they walked by.
When I was growing up girls hardly ever wore skirts unless it was a special occasion, and when they did, full skirts weren't typically what they wore, so it is so nice that they have been in fashion for the past few years and women seem to enjoy wearing them.
Haven't been to Paddles in a while. I'll probably go next weekend unless something comes up.
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Image Categorization
So I've begun a long term project of adding keywords to my erotic imagery collection. It is quite extensive and consists primarily of photos of women in bondage, women wearing outfits I find enticing, or some combination of the two.
Over the years I've tried to keep a fairly good folder hierarchy to keep track of stuff, but it's gotten to the point where there are so many images that they could fall under several different sub-categories and there are a number of secondary and tertiary fetishes that aren't represented in the folder structure. This results in it being very cumbersome to locate an image or set of images that I know have some particular attribute.
It will take a long time, especially since I'm constantly adding new images, but as the tagging progresses I could conceivably type in keywords such as "rope, chair, cheerleader, kneesocks" and bring back just those matches. This process is also helping me find duplicates that have accumulated.
I also find that doing the tagging is educating me on exactly what aspects of the image are appealing to me. My tags certainly wouldn't match up with someone elses. For instance, I have no particular fetish interest in high heels, so while many of the images have them, I don't particular care to bring up images with heels or have a vocabulary to describe the various subtypes, so I'm not even bothering tagging them. On the other hand, I do find other type of footwear interesting (like mary janes, saddle shoes, etc), so I tag those.
Anyway, thought it was an interesting activity and wanted to blog about it.
-Fetbuddy
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Scene Idea - Forced Makeout
I'm going to start detailing some ready made scenes that I think might be interesting and easy to arrange. Since I'm not a pain masochist, it's sometimes a challenge to find activities that can be done in combination with bondage. Here is an example.
If you ever saw Revenge of the Nerds, there is a scene where one of sororities is running a kissing booth and one of the nerds buys a whole bunch of tickets to makeout with one of the hot girls but is thwarted by her leaving and a big ugly girl put in her place. That got me thinking.
Although I often do bondage play with guys, I don't typically kiss them. I've tried a few times when they initiate it but the taste/smell is always off regardless of the guy, not like when I kiss cute women which I enjoy immensely, and certainly don't need to be tied up for.
So I thought it would be interesting to do a scene where I was securely restrained and essentially forced to make-out with the guy for as long as the he wants to pay (would work for TG folks as well, or even women I find unattractive I suppose).
Since it's not a pain scene and as long as the bondage is comfortable and adjusted if it lasts a while, I'd have to endure the kissing until he's done or forfeit payment by safewording. We could also work out some type of punishment if I'm not being enthusiastic or whatever response you are looking for. Other roleplay elements could be integrated as well.
This is the type of scene that wouldn't work out in my personal casual play. Since I don't like kissing guys at all, I simply safeword and it stops. But with a paid scene, the rule would be I would have to endure it or give up the money. And since there is nothing potentially dangerous about kissing too much (unlike impact play), I see no excuse in having a safeword to slow down or getting out of it without penalty.
Sound hot? Send me a message to arrange a session.
-Fetbuddy
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TES lecture: medical bondage
Went to a lecture/demonstration put on by TES on medical bondage. Hospital restraints, straitjackets, hand mittens, etc. It was a good talk though most of the stuff shown I've seen orbeen in before. It was nice to see a live version of the Segufix set, though I didn't get a chance to be in it. I showed the presenter my black set of Humane Restraints and chatted a bit about related items for a bit after the talk.
Of course this just made me want to get buckled into my straitjacket and restrained down for an extended examination and evaluation period.
hint hint
-Fetbuddy
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a nice break
took a few weeks off from Paddles to visit family and work some vanilla photo gigs. I also bought a new computer and have been busy setting that up. My photos look amazing on the new screen.
Last weekend I went back to Paddles and did two scenes that lasted about an hour each. Each one started OK with some decent bondage restraint, but each ended being a moderate pain scene and for the past several months, my head hasn't been in the right space for pain scenes in my personal play.
I rarely get aroused during pain scenes anyway, though sometimes if the conditions are right, I can at least get an adrenaline rush from it and I can later eroticise it. I had to code out on both scenes and unfortunately the restraint aspect ended along with it, so I ended up being unsatisfied with both scenes as a whole. I'd much prefer just remaining tied comfortably for the rest of the evening, even if there is no further play beside being held captive.
The other thing that had been frustrating in some past scenes lately was that the tops I've been scening with were focused on stroking me to get me off. I finally had to tell them that I don't respond to that and that usually ends the scene as well. A couple times I was pretty effectively gagged, so I couldn't say anything till they got bored and asked if I was "close" to which I shook my head No. At least now they know and we can focus on other things.
I'm on the fence whether or not I'm going to go tonight.
-Fetbuddy
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Photo Weekends
Got two weekends of photo gigs so taking a little break from play.
I'm also getting a bit bored from my casual play at Paddles. The scenes only last an hour or so and I prefer longer term captivity scenes where I'm compelled to endure it. I need to elaborate on this but need to get to my gig.
-Fetbuddy
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Vanilla life busy
Busy again with my vanilla job. The nature of freelancing is such that when they have work for me, I'm so busy that I don't pursue much play during week and end up just doing my own personal play on weekends.
I'm still open to doing paid sessions on weekends though, so please indicate in your message that you are interested in booking a paid session and provide enough detail so that I can make a determination if it's a scenario I can fulfill.
One-liners saying you like a particular activity is not sufficient.
Anyway, heading to Paddles tonight. I'm open to doing paid sessions there as well, but you'd need to contact me first.
-Fetbuddy
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immediate play
I love when i get to paddles and i'm tied up within less than 5 minutes of my arrival. No small talk, just stripped and strapped down for 2 hours for all kinds of fun.
then passed off to another dom for an hour or so more.
Good times,
-Fetbuddy
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NYBC tonight
Haven't played in about a month, so heading to NYBC despite the frigid temps to hopefully get some play in.
-Fetbuddy
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Quiet
Been a quiet couple weeks. Been busy with vanilla job again and getting ready for vacation with family, so no play recently and for next couple weeks.
I'm sure once holidays are over, I'll be anxious to play. This season typically awakens crossdressing desires as well. Growing up, the preponderance of store catalogs always had ads for pretty party/holiday dresses that I wished I could wear. The few girls/women in my family didn't dress up and that made it even worse. It always seemed unfair that they could potentially wear all these great outfits, but chose not to, whereas I would love to wear them, but couldn't.
Anyway, most of the season's activities now involve just sitting around the house with immediate family, eating and watching the nephews run around. By time it's over I really need some bondage play to take the edge off.
Off for now,
-Fetbuddy
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Two bottom scenes at Paddles
Did two different scenes. The first one started within 5 minutes of my arrival. A bondage top I did a scene with a few weeks ago was there again and he was all set up at one of the bondage tables, so I walked up and within moments I was getting strapped down. I like that he jumps right in and is forceful but not painful in his play style. I was nake, spread out, blindfolded, gagged and strapped down with leather restraints and some rope. He did some cock&ball bondage that was very intense and once I was secured did some sensual play and began covering me in oil. The next thing I knew, he took out a disposable safety razor and began shaving my pits, chest, stomach and genitals. I was alreay trimmed from a little over a month ago, but he shaved me clean, especially around the nips, pits and groin. I've been fantasizing about a forced shaving scene for years, and it was so awesome for it to occur without any warning or discussion. I really felt like I was a fetish doll, with no choice but to endure his desires. At some point someone else was playing with me at same time, so I had all kinds of sensations going on.
After that scene ended, I wandered around a bit watching some scenes, hoping I could get some more play action in, especially since the above scene only lasted about an hour. The rubber guy I played with a week before was there and he was with a friend. After a few minutes of talking, the friend had me strapped into the bondage spreader chair. He had a great set of wrist suspension cuffs that were very comfy. It was a good secure position and he mostly did some sensual play with me and some tickling. He was trying to jerk me off for a while and I finally had to tell him that I don't respond to that type of play. The position got a little too stressful and I shut down after a while, but it was a good first scene.
That's it for now. My vanilla project is finally done, so I can now book scenes anytime during the week or weekend.
-Fetbuddy
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rubber sleepsack
Never got around to writing up this past sunday. Went to Paddles and it was pretty quiet when I got there. I bottomed for a quick bondage scene that only lasted a few minutes so I was anxious to play. A tickle top I play with was there, and he gives great massages but doesn't do bondage, so I got a nice backrub from him. A rubber fetishist was there as well and after chatting for a few I was getting prepped for a rubber sleepsack scene.
I tend to like leather better than rubber as the later is very hot and sweaty (I guess some like that), but I was craving confinement more than anything, so I happliy got zipped up and strapped in. There was an attached gas mask hood as well, so there was a good sensory deprivation aspect as well. As for play, the tickle top and rubber guy tickled me through the sack and did some sensual play. I felt bad when rubber guy tried to get me to cum, and finally had to stop him since he was jerking me very hard and it was just causing pain rather than pleasure. He was pretty tired after that, so he let me just lie there and enjoy being in the sack. I was in for a total of 3 hours and I was drenched in sweat.
Oh, and last night I met up with the newbie I played with last week. He wanted to treat me a massage after the long scene we had done, so I enjoyed that as well. We'll be doing another bondage scene soon as well.
That's it for now. I'll be at paddles again Sunday.
-Fetbuddy
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back in action
Well, after several days of having a headcold and then spending a couple days with family for thanksgiving I was in the mood for some play big time. So I emailed a newbie subbie that I'd been talking with and we set up a session for Saturday evening.
He'd only been tied up once or twice before, so I wanted to give him a very intense restraint experience. Over course of 5 hours, we did 3 different bondage scenarios with no real break in between, as I like to transfer a bottom from one bondage situation directly to another, so that the captive mindset is maintained. I utilized rope, locking hospital restraints, chain/padlocks, and blindfolds. I freaked him out a few times which was good cause I love pushing limits and doing psychological mind-fuckery.
Afterward, I did a tutorial with him, teaching him a few basic rope bondage knots and their application and how to stow the rope after play.
I'll be heading to Paddles tonight for NYBC
-Fetbuddy
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head cold
Got a mild head-cold, so I passed on Paddles yesterday. Just as well since the subways in/out of Astoria weren't running and didn't feel like dealing with that cluster-f.
Being sick always brings me back to when my fetishes were being refined during puberty. I'd be in bed with nothing to do, and my fantasies would drift from one bondage scenario to another. Of course, it was when I was sick that I would have some time home alone (at least till my grandmother would show up) and I could crossdress and practice self-bondage. It was amazing how miserable I felt when my mom was seeing if I was OK to go to school, but once she was gone, I'd have all kinds of energy to dress up and play.
Many close calls during those adventures since I'd get literally caught up in what I was doing and then I'd hear the garage door opening when my grandmother arrived and I'd have to scramble to get myself untied, take off the dress, put on my pajamas, put everything away, and be calm when she got inside.
I wonder if anyone reads these entries.
-Fetbuddy
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Slow week
My vanilla job called me in for a 2 week project so I haven't had much time to work on any of my fetish sites. I wanted to see if I could get a simple fetbuddy website constructed on Google but haven't had time. I might be able to look into this weekend, but I have other things I need to do as well.
Anyway, I'll likely be at NYBC this Sunday.
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Topping felt good
Did a rope bondage scene last nite at Paddles. I got there early as I usually do but it was pretty quiet. I was hanging around the table where they keep the house rope and a newbie kept saying how he wanted to be tied up. I haven't topped a full-on rope bondage scene in a while, so I volunteered my services.
I had him naked on the steel framed table in the back and put my leather mittens on him first. We chatted a bit so that I could get his experience level and he said he'd never been tied up before but was willing to go the distance. So I grabbed a whole bunch of rope and fully secured him and blindfolded him with a scarf. He was a chatterbox and kept trying to top from the bottom, and I didn't have a gag I could use, so finally I told him to just be quiet which he managed to do OK.
He wanted some tit torture, so I indulged him best I could as I don't have any clamps or such. He enjoyed having his cock and balls flogged with my mini flogger as well. As I got tired I had others who'd been milling about play with him a while I kept an eye on things. Then I'd add more rope to keep things exciting.
My favorite part was when I decided to fashion two rope floggers and was able to do some dual-arm flogging which I hadn't done in ages. I really got into the beat of the music and the crowd seemed to enjoy it. I got it going hard enough that he finally coded and needed to be let free. That was fine cause I was tuckered out at that point. It was a nearly a two hour scene from start to finish.
The rest of the night I chatted with a few folks: one guy who was watching who probably wanted to play but I was too worn out. Maybe next time. Another was a CD who I'd seen around before so I finally struck up a conversation. We had nice chat about the nature of CDing and BDSM and soon it was 11:30 and I was getting sleepy so I called it a night.
That's all for now
-Fetbuddy
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NYBC at Paddles
I'll be at NYBC at Paddles tonight. This is where I get my core bondage fix satisfied. If you want to arrange to do a session there, please contact me to discuss details.
Fetbuddy
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flickr page
created a flickr page so that I could host more of my pics and tell the story about them. I'm very visual so having a flickr page and sets of favs to link to is the best representation of my interests.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/fetbuddy
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Boring lecture
Lecture at Paddles was not what I was expecting. Was hoping for a varied discussion of creative ways of integrating gender play and bdsm, but it was mostly a lecture about the nature of transsexualism. Oh well. Killed any mood to play after so I called it an early night.
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Heading to Paddles tonite...
Going to the Gender and BDSM demo/lecture at Paddles hosted by Dom/sub friends. Bringing my gear and "glee style" cheer skirt for potential play after. could be fun.
Fetbuddy
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I've been active in the lifestyle for many years and have played in a variety of contexts. I've also always wished I could make some type of living out of my fetish interests. Being a switch, a part-time crossdresser, and able to play with men, women, and TG folks, I find that I can play in a variety of roles and can take on a persona very easily that matches the needs of my play partner. These roles don't always thrill me (or I've done them to satisfaction in my private play), but when I have a formal role, I'm able to approach that elusive "consensual, non-consensual" mindset a lot easier.
I've done some "volunteer demo boy" gigs and some paid fetish CD modeling in my past and found it to be much more enjoyable than regular casual play. I am far more reluctant to safeword and willing to explore new activities if I'm contracted to fulfill that particular role and this is strongest when there is pay involved.
I'm not sure how much of a market there is out there for a paid male/CD switch. However, based on my own experience and that of some friends in the scene, there seems to be a need for "fetish buddies" that can satisfy certain fetish needs that can be explored outside of a romantic context.
Also I'm a skilled photographer, so in addition to being a paid partner or escort, I offer fetish photography as one of my services. Note: I no longer do modeling (male or CD) where my face is visible, though I'm happy to appear in photos where my face is masked, hidden, or obscured in some other manner.
I hope to keep this blog updated with my thoughts.
--Fetbuddy
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| Age: 23 |
| Chicago,
Illinois |
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