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Hmmm, let's take these one at a time:
1. you are most likely divorced.
As I noted, married 38 years, certainly with its ups and downs, but now in a very contented period which I think we have earned.
2. your ex-wife and children literally hate your guts. they spit on the very air your[sic] breath[sic].
No ex-wife. One adult son in close touch and we enjoy a close relationship. One adult son is in infrequent but friendly contact with the family.
3. you are miserable in your employment. you have had a string of menial jobs, have never lived up to any potential whatsoever and your co-workers secretly despise you.
I had a number of menial jobs until my early thirties, after which I had a 32-year career with the same employer at a professional level. I did not live up to my ambition to have a mathematical object or discovery in physics named after me, but I found my programming work fulfilling. If my co-workers secretly despised me, they covered very well!
4. you are addicted to porn.
Guilty as charged.
5. you are a chronic masturbator.
As are most males, yes.
6. you have never satisfied a woman sexually.
It is difficult to answer this truthfully without the appearance of braggadocio, but I enjoy the woman's pleasure more than my own and have gotten very good feedback.
7. women hate you.
Women seem to at least like me, and some have loved me. Some relationships ended awkwardly, but most not so.
8. your mother wanted a daughter.
My mother wanted whatever God sent her, and had three daughters and six sons, of which I am the eldest.
9. you are overweight, balding with acne/poor complexion.
I am quite overweight after having successfully cut my weight in half fifteen years ago. I am balding and wear what hair I have (white) very close-cropped. Acne has not troubled me in half a century, and my complexion is reasonable but I do suffer from dry and flaky skin, alas.
10. you are a closeted homosexual.
I experimented a time or two in my twenties, and discovered two things: (1) sex is sex; (2) I like girls better.
Your observations, while largely wide of the mark, do not offend me. I may seek therapy at some point, but I believe I would want my references to come from someone a little more experienced in the real world and a little less arrogant. I hope my observations do not offend you.
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