HOW CAN I EXPLAIN?
Before me stands a woman.
You.
How can I begin to tell you what I think and feel?
You have no idea of what you are.
No inkling of the power in you.
All you see when you look at yourself is
insecurity,
vulnerability,
too many raging emotions.
You don’t know what to make of me,
and, frankly, neither do I.
I alternate between extremes;
one moment I am hot,
the other I am cold.
One moment I am gentle,
reverently twirling your hair in my fingers;
the other I use you and take you
and leave you in agony from my abuse.
How can I tell you that when I look at you
I see the feminine divine in your eyes?
I see a force of nature behind the shy smile on your lips;
and I know that you feel anything but powerful
and yet I marvel at your strength.
I feel your aura envelop me in radiant feminine light
and I see it opening up like petals on a flower
to admit my piercing, punishing masculine power.
I feel your soul and body wrapping itself around me,
giving me a place to rest, to recuperate.
How can I explain to you how I want to control you,
to force you to open yourself up even further to me,
to be even more receptive of my worship of Woman?
I want to possess you.
I want to use you.
I want to extract tears of joy and agony from you.
I want to make you scream in pain-filled pleasure
and sometimes from pleasure alone
and other times from pain alone.
I want you to feel.
Oh, God, I want you to feel.
I want to drink your emotions
and bathe in your tears.
How can I explain to you how I feel?
How can I explain that I want to rest my head
on your breasts and suckle from you,
to have you pet my hair and nurture me?
How can I explain that I want to reach with my hand
into the very core of your body and wrap myself
in you like a warm, soft blanket?
How can I explain that I want to spill
the very essence of me into you
and have you keep me safe?
How can I explain that I want to feel
your suffering flesh ripple with anguish
as I take my pleasure from you?
How can I explain the awe I feel
when I look at you?
How can I explain the raw feminine power
I feel radiating from you and how
small that makes me feel?
How can I explain my need to control you
utterly and completely,
to bask in your grace and gentleness,
to take you.
To use you.
How can I explain?
I don’t know.
But one day, I will make you understand
what I see when I look at you.
One day, looking in the mirror,
you will feel the awe I feel.
One day, you will realize
how strong you are,
how powerful you are,
how beautiful you are.
And that day you will understand
my need to possess you,
to sacrifice your body on the altar of my desire,
to dive into your soul
and never emerge.
