FatesMisery


FatesPassion Male Dominant, 31, Anaheim, California	FatesKnight Dominant Couple, 30, cortland, New York	FatesProblem Female Dominant, 28, NWA, Arkansas

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	About FatesMisery i have created this account in honor of my Master, FatesKnight. It is a place for me to put my feelings, emotions, thoughts, poems, and so forth for Him. my other account is sweetmisery0074 on here. No private chat requests. I am still open to making friends online and in real life.

I thought I requested this account to be closed in August... only to recently realize that it is still active. Apologies to my ex Master... I will attempt to request a delete again.

Beloved: Toran's Soft

Beloved

Author: Toran's Soft ? 2000

Looking to you I dare to wonder
Where does this joy come from?
That cradles my heart
Why is it that flames?
Of pure ecstasy fill me
At the thought of a touch
Whipping life upon my skin
As the fire of you is building
Drawing me closer to the edge
Through your love growing
Learning my surrender
As you reach for me from afar
A silent promise of your desire
Shadows licking the walls
Of our shared dreams
Sacred and guarded?
By the one who holds my soul
Breathing warmth into it
Where does this path lead me
With its palms open wide
Silently I yield to you
Seeing clearly I find my answers
I have only so many ways to tell you
You are my breath
The blood raging through me
Your kisses bless me
As they caress my heart
And cloak me in your love
Releasing my private passions
Your hands strumming me
Teaching me your song
Silent tears shimmer
On their journey?
As our hearts and minds
Awaken to possibilities of each other
Spirits drifting closer
We connect while we're apart

Okay FINE! I will admit it. I am a needy, bratty, impatient, overprotective, overly possessive submissive. I need to feel wanted, needed, loved, and cherished. And if I don't feel this way, I get VERY bratty! Is that soooooo wrong?!

FEAR

I am scared at times. Yes, filled with complete fear. What scares me the most?

Not being a good person.
Not being true to myself.
Not being a good mom.
Not being a good daughter.
Not being a good sister.
Not being a good aunt.
Not being a good friend.
Failure.
My insecurities.
My past.
My future.
Us.
Losing You.
Doing something to mess things up between us.
Not being good enough for You.
Not being able to make You happy.
Lost time.
Not being able to ever see You again.
Not being able to touch You again.
Not being able to feel Your hands, Your touch on me.
Not being able to wake up in Your strong arms again.
Not being Yours, completely.
Finding myself thinking of You so much.
Feeling so much in love with You that every part of me, my flesh, my bones, my heart aches for You all the time.

Tonight, Master and i had a good constructive conversation on the phone.? i have been having doubts and insecurities about certain things and about us.? He made it clear that i did not and should not have these feelings.? i should continue to have faith and trust in Him and us.? i think i have these negative feelings because of my past relationships and the wounds they have left behind.? i need to let go of those feelings, allow the wounds to heal over.? i know there will still be scars to remind me, but i think that is a good thing.? While talking with Him, i also realized there were a couple things that He had asked me to do that i was not doing.? i guess i did not realize how important they were.? "How can I move on and ask you to do more for me if you can not do these things that I ask of you?" is basically what He asked me.? It made me feel saddened and unworthy for awhile, thinking that i had failed such simple tasks.? But i soon realized that i should not dwell on these feelings, i should just start doing what He has asked and began improving the relationship.? After all, what He has asked me to do benefits both of us.? i want to make Him happy.? i want to please Him.? i want to belong to Him *completely*.

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FatesMisery

About FatesMisery