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STOP: I'm transgendered. Meaning that what falls upon my chest and between my legs is not male, yet, but in every other aspect of my life, I am.
I haven't been on here in almost a year, but I'm back 'on the market' I suppose. I'm honestly looking for something serious and long term with a man who can see me as a boy, even if my body isn't yet male.
Ever Present 'About Me' article
There’s a street downtown where you can smell fried sugar singing outside a bakery, spicy sage and sandlewood and lavender and khus burning from a headshop, the garbage smells like spilled booze and sticky, dirty sugar and crumbling paper and coffee beans and something else. And I’m stuck somewhere in between skulking in the allies and bumming on the streets. I’m not outgoing and I’m only moderately bright. But I have my ego and I have my will and I’m not afraid to share, or fight. I love fierce but I don’t know how to show I care. I’m confused and confusing, I crave attention and love to hear that I’m the best, I’ll say it back and mean it.
There are times on days when the air is warm and the sun shines watery through heavy clouds, when I’m stuck between feeling good or bad. The sky could break and it could rain and I could decide to run and hide in a bookstore or my car, or I could run into the street and watch the rain fall and wish that the moment could trap me eternally. Love makes me love. Hate makes me hate
Senseless violence makes no sense, makes my stomach turn and my throat sting with sickness. Abuse makes me feel absent. I see no need for it, and I’d rather live in a world that’s accepting. Cuddling is cool but can get boring. Rambling is what I do best, along with writing and whatnot.
I’m a boy I think. I know I am but not to you, not your eyes and not your hands. I was born a girl but talk to me and see that that was a mistake. Overlooked when veins were busy swirling together muscle, while tissue grew for eyes and lips and heart, as I grew into being. But talk to me and see that I’m a boy. I’m just being me.
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I'll be your pet, I'll be your toy
I'll be your bitch, I'll be your boi
Collar me, lease me pet me and
I'll sleep at the foot of your bed
Love me, scold me
Teach me how to heal and sit and stay
I'm your prize I'm your jewel
Wear me on your wrist and I'll be good for you
Never be alone, I can tell by your tone
When your mad, when your glad
I'll do anything for you
I'm special and I know it
I'm a writer, I'm a poet
I'm strange and dark and
Strong and loyal, I've got fire
and I have soul
I want to follow, your the leader
I'll be slave, you be Master
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Its so hard to express everything you want and need when thoughts come in color and shape and motion. That create emotion. Then you have to know how that emotion fits you, and how you feel about how you feel. Then you wonder how much to share and how much to keep hidden. Chose which parts of you to embrace, which parts to push away. I’ll close my eyes and try anyways.
I want arms, strong, muscled, warn, wrapped around my body. I want to connect with you, to know you’ve entered the room without seeing or hearing you. I want answers when I’m unsure, I want to be sure that you care. I want you to be drawn to be, to want to be with me. I want to be pushed, to have expectations placed on me. I want you to know I’m special, to be proud of me. I want to b e pushed around but never held down. I want you to like me for me. I want someone who understands that violence without reason to a species with a reasoning minds is something that needs to be overcome. Glorifying gore is putting fame to hate and lying famine to peace and understanding. I want someone who is real, who does not fear themselves, who is creative and accepting of mistakes. Who will lead me.
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I've decided that my journal will be an open book about me. I want to further my adventures into this lifestyle and cannot wait for the right person to show me the way.
I guess the first thing I want to write about is... my writing. I consider myself a fair author, more than fair if I can stand to find the right insperation. I do have a few things posted on other websites, but nothing I care all that much about. I want to become a professional author someday, with as many published works under my belt as I can possibly turn out in one lifetime. I don't see anything stopping me, I look at each new hurtle as something to experience and to learn from. Because unless you have experienced something, I think it would be hard to write about it! I express myself in words, so when you message me, I will READ what you write, not just absorbe the general meaning of the fragments you have pasted together. I want a Master that appreciates my talent!
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I am mentally a boy, but physically a girl. Hence the listing of trans. Just thought I should be straight up about that!
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