FallAngel

Another year has come and gone.  A sad year in many ways  but mostly what describes it is empty.
There was always the hope of a better tomorrow but as the tommorows become fewer the hope diminishes as well.  It's a twenty year olds world. Young, slim, and pretty with no cares for tomorrow and plenty of money to spend.    Those of us that have lost our youth, our leanness, who ar eno longer pretty,  We are relegated to the sidelines, eternal spectators of love and lust, beginning and ending each day the same, in bed, alone.  The partners of yesterday a dim memory intertwined with fantasy's and might have beens.  Inside stil lives the heart and soul of that twenty year old  yearning to be set free,  crying out " Love Me!" and listening to the echoes of its pleas fading into silence...

If things go the way I think they will, I have five more years until I will be single again.  Being determined that any future relationship will be with someone who has an active interest in the kinkier side of life,   I am guessing I will have to move out of rural North Carolina and into a more urban environment to find a compatable soul.  I have time.   

In the office plenty of work awaits me and all i need is a gentle nudge to get started. Ok lets face it the mood I'm in today a gentle nudge in the right direction aint going to do it.   Its going to have to be a bitch slap in the right direction...   Now I'm sure there will be a whole lot more volunteers for that than there were for office slave  

Is it wrong for me to love a gay woman?  
I got to see Melissa Etheridge in concert this week.   Best show yet.  No opening act.  She played a  couple of dozen guitars and sang for almost three solid hours with no breaks.  The old hits, the new cd, even a rocking version of "fever".  The funniest part of the night was the three guys in the seats behind me.  The smallest minority on the planet - drunk gay rednecks,  screaming out in thick southern accents   "WOOO, Bring me some Water, WOO HOO"    You can't make this kind of stuff up, if I put that in a story no one would believe it. 

Surprisingly  no one has leapt at the prospect of  being a clerical slave,   (heavy sigh)   Sure I know you submissive women out there all you want is to be tied up and tounge lashed.
Maybe get your ass a bit reddened, a nipple clamp  or two,  sure,  thats nothing compared to the torture of hours of fileing and filling out spreadsheets.  Thats hardcore torture. 
I've still got a stack of folders two feet high and dtaa entry for all of 2010 to get done.   

A Saturday of torture.  No tthe fun kind we inflict on each other.  Filing and data entry.  trying to get business records up to date.  Hmmm maybe I should place an ad.  Office slave desired, let me chain YOU to my desk and update my records.  It'll have to be a long chain so you can reach the filing cabinet.  Like that would be easy to find.   A brief dream break, now back to it.

Somewhere out there is a frustrated married woman.  Filled with desires and fantasy's but in love with someone who is strictly vanilla.  Maybe over time your partner just lost their desire to dominate.  It happens, but the desires don't go away.

Looking at profles and messages there is a lot of anger on this site,  although the few people I have chatted with on here have been pleasant.  One would think that this community would have more tolerance, but tean I guess like the rest of the internet dating scene the women get mobbed with mail and the men wonder if they are the only ones online. 

Funny how many peope are so intensely into the D/s scene as long is its only online, and text.  Taking it to the next step of actual human interaction  and suddenly it becomes a very vanilla world. 

That ideal woman I am looking for is happy in her vanilla life, but with a strong submissive streak and fantasies she'd like to live out in secret.   A submissive couple would work as well but trust me it won't be a smuch fun for the guy as I am very hetero, although the interction between the two could get interetsing...