F0rc3d

I was hoping to appease a Mistress the other day when I wrote this, and it had me pretty worked up throughout the course of writing it.  I thought I would share it here.

Mistress,

I know that I don't deserve to request anything of you, however desires to have take my personal desires to another level have overwhelmed me for some time now.  I'm so pathetic and trapped within my imagination and the confines of my home, I beg of you for an audience if only for a moment to release these thoughts that haunt me every day and night and in my dreams. 

I wake in the morning and after I shower and clean myself outside and in, I lock that pethetic little thing between my legs into it's rightful spot in my chastity device.  I then slide into my panties and savor the feeling of them as they move their way up my legs until they are fully on and fall into an almost comatose state but for a brief moment.  I then find a suitible bra that will hold my breastforms just right as to not reveal that they are not the real thing.  At this point my mid buzzes with anxiety and frustration at that thing that I keep locked up as it starts to drip with aniticipation of what's to come.  Depending on my choice of panties I must determine if a seperate garder is necessary, as the thrill of rolling on a pair of thigh highs nearly brings me to climax.  I continue to drip out the hole in my chastity device used for urination, and my panties start to become wet with the moment.  My next choices are crucial, as being a dirty little sissy slut require the right combination of clothing to make my motives clear.  A tight mini skirt will suffice.  As I pull it up past that thing, that sole thing that chains me to my masculinity I cry a little inside that I was cursed to carry this burden.  However I quickly dismiss those horrible feeling for the sense of joy as the skirt finds itself fully seated around my waist.  I might take a moment to glance in the mirror at myself at this point and savor the moment, and look on at what I'm becoming.  As I look through choices of tops to wear I take a moment to feel the fabric of each item.  Testing it to see if it triggers and emotion, knowing that each material provides an escape into a distinct state of mind.  I fall back on something probably a little too tight, but with enough to make me feel beautiful.  As the moment starts to overwhelm all of my senses, I glance down at my choice of boots.  Knee Highs or thigh highs?  Will I be crawling?  Will my choice in footwear effect my ability to grovel on my hands and knees?  The thigh highs will be appropriate.  They offer the benefit of comfortably allowing me to be on all fours for extended periods of time allowing my knees the ability to properly position themselves.  They also allow me to see those wonderful stockings attached by garder, and reinforce the feminimity of the moment.  Something is running down my leg, causing me to disconnect from this state of mind, reminding me of the person I must be outside of the confines of my home.  I must push these thoughts back, I reach for my wig, I pause, take a deep breath, lean forward and place it on my head.  As I lift my head back up, I jently give a twitch of the neck as to let the long beautiful hair to move aside over my shoulders.  I fell almost complete.  I don't own my own make-up, and lack that final piece of the puzzle.  I've debated purchasing some, but I become paralyzed with fear everytime I approach the make-up isle at the store.  I worry about the ability to remove it all properly and having my world come crashing down around me.  The fear of my coworkers laughing at me behind my back, the threat that I would have to leave so much I have worked for behind.  So alas I must settle for that which I have become so far.

As I walk around the confines of my living room and bedroom, I beg to be released from this prison.  This disgusting little reminder of my manhood starts throbbing, locked inside the confines of it's appropriate chastity device.  It pushes outward, trying to find any way to escape, and show me who I must be outside of this prison of closed blinds and locked doors.  I must remain vigilant, I must prove to myself that I am the little gurl who I see in the back of my mind.  I go deeper and my mind starts to wander further and deeper into the darkest parts of my psycie.  I go very deep.  I look at the restraints before me.  Wrists, Ankles, Thighs, Collar.  How far can I get this time?  I'm always able to escape from my self made confines.  I slowly and deliberately place each restraint in it's proper place.  Each gives me a sensation of joy and regret at the same time.  I know I must be restrained or suffer unlocking that horrible little thing screaming to be let out.  The restraints are all in place. I start attach the spreader bar to the restraints on my ankles, keeping my legs spread wide.  I start to attach a series of straps to each restraint, testing if will come undone.  With one final hand, left free I place an appropriate amount of lubrication over a sutibly sized dildo.  I must submit to this dirty sissy inside.  I must allow myself to become more than I am in the real world.  I turn the vibration setting on, slide my panties to the side and take it in my little boi pussy.  With a final outstretched reach I feel for the lock behind my back, and place the final restraint in place.  Unable to do anything beyond squirm on the floor with fully charged batteries occilating the vibrator in my dirty little boi pussy my mind slips.  It goes to a place where I find peace.  But all is not well in this journey as there are pieces of the puzzle missing.  I scream out in my mind for someone, anyone to find me and my predicament and truely free me.  Not from the restraints that bind me in place, but completely free me from my masculinity by taking full advantage of me in my helpless state.  I beg for things, bodily or attached to toys to completely transform me by any means necessary to allow this little slut free, and to truly become the little sissy I am meant to be.

Eventually I must release myself, I must remove these things that make me who I want to be, and return to the world where I am supposed to be someone else.  I cry a little inside everytime as I remove all of the things that really make me who I am, and place them securely away where no one will ever find them.  I have to lock the little gurl back into the recesses of my mind until I return from the professional world where I am truely enslaved to sustain my means of livelyhood.

I beg of you wonderfull Mistress to please consider my plight.  I have laid before you all those things that consume my mind at all points in the day.  Those things that I have never been able to share with anyone.  I desparately want to go further, I want someone to take charge tell that little gurl I must keep locked in the back of my mind what to do.  How she can become more.  How she can express herself in more ways than being locked in my appartment for eternity.  She desparetly needs the tutalige of someone as knowlegable and wonderful as yourself.  She tells me she can never be the little slut she was meant to be because I have to lock her up and live outside in the real world where people don't understand her.  I try to keep her in my mind, but I don't have the self control, and eventually let myself out of the confines of my chastity device.  I know of no person I could trust to place those keys in their hands.  Yet in my control I will become weak and let it out, and play with it to the point where it will scream for mercy.

Wonderful Mistress I beg of you, I plead with you, I grovel before your feet that you consider an appointment with me.  Take me to a place where that little gurl in the dark recesses of my mind can be free.  Chain my masculinity within is proper confines and bring me to the places I have yet to go.  Those empty places in my dreams that I cannot fulfill on my own.  I am but one of many who beg of your precious time.  If but for a moment you would consider me and the pethetic existence I have become, I would be eternally grateful.  I desparetly want to share this gurl inside of me, to let someone teach her how to be the sissy slut she wants to be.  I am but a man, and not worthy of the knowledge that women, especially magnificent woment such as yourself have.

I'm sorry if my pethetic attempts for attention have taken too much of your time, I will go now, and unfortunately release the demon between my legs from it's cage.  Unfortunately this is the curse of carrying my own burdens.  I wishfully hope to hear from you, even if it is to tell me I am not worthy of your time or presence.

Respectfully Yours