ezmerelda1

For many people, submission happens in their daily lives without it ever becoming part of their sex lives.

I wonder:   Why do most BDSMers consider the path into submission beginning with lightly-kinked sex and lead to a change in their lifestyle?

For many people, the process goes the other way:  They naturally find happiness in serving other people. They find their inner discipline is strengthened by the more dominant personality of their partners.

Nevertheless, they might balk at the idea of sexual submission in the way that some sexual submissives might balk at the idea of subsuming their own wills to the will of another.
 
The slave is beyond the last level of the submission.  The slave vacates limits. To be a slave is to offer one's self without reservation.

From my perspective,  very few individuals fall into this category. Those that do, that I know personally,   are generally with their Dominant for a very long period of time. Trust has been long established, limits and range discovered and a relationship of personal strength has emerged which allows the submissive to transcend to this level.

This is a level without safewords, without limits.  The slave is only with their Dominant on a full time basis and may or may not have a life external of serving their mate.

The slave generally selects a Dominant with parallel limits. By this I mean, the final action of trust is the vacating of set limits. 

In order to do this, the individual must fundamentally know that their partner shares the same 'natural' or 'inviolate' limits as they do.

A Dominant has limits just like a submissive.  That which falls within their natural range and desire is their arena.

I enjoy discipline and expect it especially when I am out of line.   A good punishment keeps the submissive/slave in line with thier Master/D/Sir.   It is a loving act. 

I am one that will push boundaries and limits to see what I can get away with.  I enjoy a good spanking or whipping and am quite sure that I have a lot of things that need to be unlearned from my past Master.

I am willing to explore that and try my best at being obedient.

i have had alot of time to think on the idea of respect.  One, respect is earned, not just taken or demanded.  A Dom/Domme cannot just expect respect.  As much as the BDSM relationship is about the Dom/Domme, it is not very satisfying to this sub/slave to think that every tiny thing is about Him/Her.

i find it very sexy and alluring when a Dom/Domme commands respect vs. taking liberties and expecting it.  A look, or a small word goes much further in my book then someone who just acts like a child.

Respect means alot of different things.  On a practical level it seems to include taking someone's feelings, needs, thoughts, ideas, wishes and preferences into consideration.  Giving respect puts a value on these feelings, needs, etc. it also includes acknowledging the Dom/sub, listening to them, being truthful with them, and accepting their individuality and idiosyncrasies.  Respect can be shown through behavior and also felt.  We can act in ways that are considered respectful, yet we can also feel respect for someone and feel respected by our Dom/sub.  When the feeling is there, the behavior will follow.

There is a huge difference between fear and respect.  Fear is toxic, respect is nurturing.  Fear destroys self-confidence, respect builds it.  Fear can be life threatening, respect is life-enhancing.  Fear is forced, respect is earned.