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~What is it that i want?~
A strong Dominant, who knows who He is, and is confident in that role, who does not give up after only a few months....If You cannot control me mentally, as well as physically, if You cannot Own my mind, and feel my words, then truly what is the point? ...Many times i've been asked what is the worst punishment a Dom could do to me...if He were to excuse Himself from all of it, it would break me, leave me lieing in pieces on the floor....
~Who am i?~
Feel free to read my journals
~Who are You?~
Tall, good looking, someone who has the time to dedicate to teaching me and growing together in taking the journey, one who is in shape, if You cant keep Yourself together, then how can i trust You to keep me together...with an air of confidence, a little cocky, slight sence of humour, but You know who and what You are, and where my place is......
~i want to dance with the Devil in the pale Moon Light?
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Just find me, PLEASE...... |
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So tired of those saying they are Doms for years and strict and then You speak with them and after a short amount of time send You pictures of their genitals. After, getting mad that I would not send my picture and had a meeting to attend. Seriously, 80% MENTAL, 20% physical. |
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I need You.....
Never yet totally belonging to one. Holding my breath for You... I need You to train me, submitting to only You, because it's my choice to submit,to follow Your rules, to obey so you miss and lack nothing. My strength will come from You.
Where is Mr tall and handsome.
Public an elegant lady, only for You, erotic, safe, expressive, shy, Loyal, wet, begging....
My mind first, all else follows...
You need me |
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BROKEN
a broken beginning once again, the fleeting steps are just quieter.
The tears are the same, only stinging and burning all down my cheeks.
The rebraking, of the heart mind and soul, so much more revealing. The thoughts in my head, from the words you spoke still hitch my breath, and ache all the way through my lungs feeling unfire. I would love You I said, my mind drifting to the future, well You replied maybe that's the problem, a submissive, doesn't love her Dom, and he does not love her, that isn't how it works. Tears staining my face, you go on to explain a sub gives her submission and her mind, all of it fully, so it is his to use how he wants, his to control, not only when the sub wants it to fit and suit her rself if You don't understand this, then maybe You are not the sub I was seeking. .... if I am not the one then why don't the tears dry, the ache subside and the dagger of Your words unhinge they re strength as I lye here broken into shards of pieces..... Please just turn back, don't keep walking, please, please.... |
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*Lost* fumbling through the dark, making bad decisions, empty. So tired of waiting, knowing what I want, needing to please. Feeling invisible, doubtful, insecure, alone, tears staining my cheeks, quietly sobbing into my pillow. Needing to feel the magic, the pull, intense pain, followed by immeasurable pleasure. Mind working overtime, begging the universe to be found, not having to hide shying away. Explore what You know I need. Show me safety, security, tenderness, all the while holding your beast at bay until You know, You feel my body can take all you have to give. I don't want to be lost anymore..... |
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~brave yet shaking inside~confident but quietly shy~patiently watches frantically searching~soft eyes widely opened~intently listening mind realing~feeling Your touch hands trembling~kneeling gracefully frozen statue ~allowing the pain needing its pleasure~voice acknowledges head nodding~instructions given feet fleeting~hair pulled body grabed~pinned down yearning heat~kissed harshley~ravaged roughly caressed devinly~loved eternally surrendered limitless~Mastered forever submissive unconditionaly~ |
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*The Cut*
~Wound so tight, madning anger seeping out, trying to hold together~
~Denying is so overwhelming,feeling i will stop breathing and the pain will be gone~
~Vanilla is not what i feel, please stop saying i'm broken~
~Cant sleep, need to release, cant someone understand how deep the cut goes~
~Crying so hard,falling in the darkness that i cant crawl out from~
~Praying You can feel me in Your dreams, needing You to grab me,before i disapear to nothing~
~PLEASE catch me,let me feel You, allow me to surrender, dont turn away~
~Help me break thru, dont let go, see thru my eyes, feel what i will release to only You~
~Not self endulgence for me, to submit to You, to be everything You crave that hides deep in Your mind~
~Screaming for You to allow me to surrender completely, to YOU, to pull the knife out, heal me~
~How can i crave what i dont know, just what i feel, what cuts so deep, what makes tears bleed down my face~
~Haunted by the thought it will never come, never be released, buried so deep, it never finds light~
~Dont allow me to give up, to become lost, to feel so hard, so never ending,so distraught~
~Help me, Stop the flow, Keep me from dispare, grab the instrument of distruction, stop....
the cut~ |
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| Age: 29 |
| San diego,
California |
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