EmotionalControl

being a Dom isn’t about canning, whipping, flogging, or ordering people around. They are the requirements of a Sadist.

Being a Dominant is about taking responsibility. About stepping up to the plate and saying; “My shoulders are big enough to bear the weight, to accept the responsibility that comes with taking control”
A Dominant is a leader, a doer not a talker; someone who is willing and ready to provide another person with what they need.

A Dominant needs to know and accept that many Submissives will appear in a manner that the Dom might perceive to be needy. If the Dom isn’t happy to accept the emotional needs of the Submissive, then the Dom isn’t ready to take ownership of a Submissive.
Submissives will rebel, fight back, be disobedient, bratty, insubordinate, and just like a child they will generally test the limits of the Dominant. This is where the good Dominant shines, he/she won’t feel threatened, and they won’t loose control, or become emotional. This is an opportunity where a Dominant can display why they are in charge, and why the Submissive can trust them with control of their lives.

Correction, discipline, and punishment should be structured, fair, controlled, un-emotive, and relevant. It will reinforce the rules, the need for the rules, and the positions of Dom and Sub. It will give the Submissive what all Subs crave; a feeling of safety within the confines a caring D/S relationship with clear boundaries and rules. Afterwards the Sub should feel a positive sense of purpose and direction, knowing that the Dominant is striving to achieve the absolute best for the Sub.
The D/S relationship needs to maintain balance. For every slap of the hand, swing of the flogger, or stroke of the cane, it needs to be equally counter balanced with a kiss, a hug, a stoke of the hair, and a whisper of a kind word.
A good Dom genuinely wants to see the submissive, grow, and improve as both a person and as a Sub. As such the Dom won’t just use the power granted him/her by the D/S relationship for sexual gains or amusement; they will endeavour to institute rules and instructions that will break bad habits, provide the Sub direction, focus and drive, and generally enrich the life of the Sub.

I don't know when I first discovered that I was destined to be someones Dom, the feeling just grew on me with time. I had always had a need for control in my fantasies but it wasn't until I was in my late 20's that it started to manifest in me as a desire.
   It takes time to cultivate your concept of self.  Over time as you age, you use experience and knowledge gained to attune yourself into 'who' you are.  Your likes, dislikes, tastes, feelings... everything you see and hear eventually culminates to a current state of being, which grows older by the second ever evolving and changing as you progress through life.  This image, this concept of 'who' we are, known only fully ever only to you is what eventually leads you to make life choices.
   I understand that submission and ownership are not something to be taken lightly.  It is the ultimate responsibility, you are entering into an agreement in which someone will give themselves to you and you must be able to also give yourself to them. Being responsible for someone else's life is lifes greatest responsibility and honor.  
    I understand that TRUST and CARING is a part of a D/S relationship. The TRUST and love that you accrue for each other is what ultimately allows you maintain the type of relationship that you do. There is no humiliation, degradation or abuse without a firm foundation of trust and understanding in each other. 

    I understand there are two sides to the coin, and that there are times to set aside one for the other.