Seeking couples for long-term offline friendship. This search is not about sex. WE DO NOT SWING, NOR ARE WE SEEKING SEX WITH OTHERS. Ours is a friendship first approach. This friendship may stand alone, without play. Our attendence at play parties has taken a socializing approach, minus play. We may consider private observation of close friends, should the chemistry support this. This may very well lead to play, but that will be my domiannts choice.

Ours is a D/s relationship of 9 years = 5 years married, total of 9 years living together. My dom is an intelligent, attractive(inside/outside), passionate, confident soul. With his support I seek friendship and growth. My friends are not timid in their approach to life and pursuit of lifestyle, walking vs. limiting self to talking of lifestyle. We seek an intelligent communicative connection, sharing interests in and beyond that of BDSM. If you are guarded with yourself to the point of evading questions or exposing self, I prefer that you do not write to me. You should be in touch with your emotions and able to communicate, able to ask AND ANSWER questions.

Our D/s relationship, lends itself to a dance which is not considered acceptable by mainstream society. Namely a mix of a more aggressive interaction, intense humiliation, and power exchange. This version of D/s BDSM is not solely physical, and is usually met through that of a close emotional connection. Mind is triggered, body follows. This extends to all areas, particularly that of sadism and humiliation.

My past is not one of victimization, dysfunction or self loathing. That does not apply to me. I am a confident, spirited and sensual/seductive woman who is drawn to areas of humiliation. What I seek may not be what is typically considered humiliation. My brand of humiliation is based on truths and acknowledgment and an admission of passions/self. Humiliation and the variations in which a dominant can present this to a woman are numerous. I cannot bend to an admission, obedience and an empty brand of submission/humiliation, which is absent of strength and intelligence. I place the terms humiliation, degradation, love, friendship and respect all in the same breath. I seek friendships with others who are up to the mental energy in on line discussion of these passions.

Those I am attracted to do not engage in D/s/humiliation out of disdain, negative emotions or past history of abuse. If dominant, you are protective/respectful of the ladies in your life. If submissive, you are confident and like yourself. Mind fucking a woman is one thing... Insult is quite another. There is a fine line between truth and insult. Truth can be brought into intimacy and can be a source of power for a dominant, both educating and arousing at the same time. In regard to the submissive, this truth I speak of does not damage ones self esteem, but rather presents oneself stripped down to who you truly are with an admission of self. When that is combined through verbal guidance/play.... Those inclined to humiliation (giving or receiving) can find this a source of mental/sexual arousal. To go there at another's hands is very potent.

Foreplay or use of what is considered mind fuck, may be expecially useful for initial exposure to more extreme areas which I am "curious about". This approach may work the mind, to edge on in fear, anticipation, arousal and acknowledgement of self. Exploration of such areas may begin with the mind and remain there. That is part of this dance. While not every fantasy (particularly those considered extreme)must be taken to reality, all should be explored at least emotionally.

Humiliation as it applies to ones place, humbles and speaks of humility. Humility, can be extended to and embraced by a dominants reflection of self. This speaks well, as that person has the foundation in place as a path to enlightenment. The result is an understanding that you are not more important than/better than others, including those you dominate. This approach to life enables one to acknowledge areas in which they can improve/progress.

I seek a clearer understanding of self, in order to communicate my feelings/desires/needs with greater ease. That is in part what I am attempting, and hopeful in finding in the growth offered in friendship. I do not come with set expectations, for each friendship is different. This in a sense is my next step in educating myself, and becoming more in touch with my passions.

Complex, sensual and passionate... I am a woman who must experience and accept who she is, no matter what society defines it as. Society will not be by my side in the end when I regret what I have not accomplished/accepted. As we as a couple experience more, possibly friendship with other couples, we may find a way deeper into areas of play we had not considered before. Humiliation and other areas of pull/mind fuck are connected firmly to my sensuality. While I am very much a lady... I am not societies definition of nice (fortunate or unfortunately depending on your perspective)... I am more defined than that.

The dominant in this couple encourages thinking, and enables his submissive to anticipate how he intends to "use", and "assist" her, in a redefinition of self. If you are the fem sub in a couple you are communicative and seeking friendship with another woman, without the poison of jealousy or competition. If dominant, you seek to redefine your submissive emotionally. This redefinition is structured to satisfy your mind, as her responses will feed your mind and take you to a new level of satisfaction. You do not seek a passive woman, but rather a woman of strength, class and confidence. Submission is not equated with passivity. Vocal and/or seductive qualities in a woman are not unattractive. You do not seek to eliminate such language from your recipe of D/s, but rather to harness/direct/control/permit such energies, both partners benefiting from this guidance/control.

Friendships are usually with those who take care of their health. Diet and health is approached with a somewhat sane outlook, with the exception of dessert. By no means am I perfect in this area. My incentive usually comes from within, with my welcoming friends who are mutually supportive in this area. I enjoy a variety of recreational pursuits, including kayaking, walking, rollerblading, yoga and pilates. My wiring is one that would support/benefit from that of forced exercise or supervision. Working out combined with D/s could be very addictive.

I avoid ALL drama, gossip and other petty areas of expression. My intentions are to be truthful, 100% of the time. If I do something that is not up to my standards, I will usually make an admission and apology long before one is requested. I call myself on my actions and behavior as part of a daily process of enlightenment. The only shame is in the loss when you don't come clean, vs. the shame of apology.

Manners, or lack there of, will be noted. Should you reason that my profile is an invite to critique, you indeed are falling short in that area of grace. If my profile is much too lengthy or extreme for your tastes, simple pass on it. As I step into another's space (in viewing your profile)and feel a lack of connection, I simple pass. I do not invite myself into that space with the intent to share negativity.

My hard limits include (NOT APPEALING IN THE LEAST): Children, Underage individuals, Pee/Scat (not to be confused with restrictions), inclusion of vanillas in play/exhibition/exposure. breath play, cutting, blood, health risk areas. I am open to all other areas in mental and physical passions.

THE NEXT PORTION OF THIS PROFILE IS WRITTEN BY MY HUSBAND/DOM with the intention of offering insight in part to his interests, and perspective:

Here are a few areas that I would enjoy discussing :

CINEMA- I am a fan of Woody Allen and the Cohen Brothers and usually am partial to thrillers, black comedy, adult sci-fi (Aliens not Star Wars). Recent movies that I have seen (and rate) are: The Visitor (3); Tell No Lies (3); The Fall (4); Dark Knight (1); Vicky Cristina Barcelona (3) and Elegy (3). NOVELS- I haven't been reading much lately but some of my favorite living authors include Robert Mosely, Martin Cruz Smith, Larry McMurtry, and Dan Brown. It would be cool to form a book club where we each choose a novel for us to read and discuss. TV- I don't watch a lot of mainstream TV except for reruns of Seinfeld and sports. I do watch MADMEN and a lot of True TV. We are into season 3 of THE WIRE which I find exceptionally well done.

Politically I find both parties lacking and usually vote for the lesser evil. For the sake of a lively discussion I can easily support either side especially against someone who is an ultra liberal or ultra conservative. I suppose I am a Libertarian.

Though raised a Roman Catholic I find little value in religion. I am a deeply spiritual person who seeks a deeper meaning to Life but do so by looking within myself rather than relying of the words of others. Like in politics, I am open to discussion.

I am interested in history, science, philosophy, sports ...in fact I guess there are few things that don't interest me. What I don't like are people that are close minded, bigots, pretentious, arrogant or apathetic.

WARNING: I am an opinionated person who enjoys a good argument. But I never mean it personally...it is just my way of evaluating my beliefs and I am only too happy to revise them if the other side makes sense!