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Female Switch, 40
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About Elarond
I have never been one to want to talk about myself much, after all I am Canadian so it is not expected of us. So when confronted with a profile or bio box like this, I try my best to avoid them.
However, in this case, I am going to use this space to kind of demonstrate my personality.
Top 10 Reasons That You're Too Old For BDSM
10. Sensory deprivation is when your Dom hides your hearing aid batteries.
9. Your nipple clamps have training wheels.
8. Edge play is standing by the microwave with a pace maker.
7. When you tell your sub to get the cane, you have to specify "walking" or "beating".
6. You can't tell the difference between your tattoos and your age spots.
5. You shout "One, two, three, CLEAR!" for electrical play.
4. Your idea of breath play is when your wheelchair runs over your oxygen hose.
3. Your idea of suspension is an UltraLift™ bra.
2. You hold the paddle and say, "You're younger than me...back into the
paddle...HARD!"
1. Age play really is 24/7.
Top Ten Things You Will Never Hear A Sub Say
10. How was I supposed to know I wasn't supposed to put your leather pants in the
washer?
9. Yeah, right... SPANK THIS!
8. Tomorrow night, I get to tie you up, right?
7. God, you Dom's think the world should bow before you!
6. And just what do you think you are going to do with that paddle?
5. Sorry, I got a date tomorrow night. Some other time, perhaps?
4. Spanking? I-THINK-NOT!
3. Who died and left you in charge?
2. Do your own damn laundry!
1. What do I look like, your maid?
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