| |
|
|
Home |
|
|
|
|
Browse |
|
|
|
|
|
Live |
|
|
|
|
Join |
|
Collarspace |
|
|
|
|
Dating |
|
|
|
|
News |
|
|
|
|
Glossary |
|
|
|
|
Mobile |
|
|
|
|
Alt |
|
|
|
|
Safety |
|
|
|
|
Toys |
|
|
|
|
Live BDSM |
|
|
|
|
Resources |
|
|
|
|
Welcome |
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Login |
|
|
 |
|
 |
|
|
|
|
Female Submissive, 50
|
|
| Back |
| KPM |
| Directory |
| Interests |
|
|
|
|  | |
|
|
|
|
| |
About Dsgirl
i am a disabled BBW with several years in different types of training, i am single with no children . i am sassy and playful, if you don't have a sense of humor i'm not your type. my main interests are in age play (Daddys girl) D/s,and bondage, am not much into pain but can take it to please my Master. i am his sub, companion, friend, lover i am loyal honest and very caring.
thank you for reading through my profile
stop by and check out my blog at
<a href= |
|
|
|
|
new hard limit... no hitting with hammers |
| |
| |
|
|
| |
| |
|
|
This entry is very very personal for me, there are not a lot of people who know I have a mental illness let alone what but I need to open up and ask for help.
Due to extended years of emotional and physical abuse I have dissociative identity disorder. It has made it extremely difficult in life to find a lasting partner who could accept that and work with me. I am sure that there are others out there who have mental disorders and lead a productive life in the lifestyle and would really like to hear from you in hopes you may have hints or suggestions that may help my Master and myself especially through the more trying times, or just make the easier times even better. I am so tired of making him nuts, and don't want to see myself drive away the person I care about most in life. He really does care and does his best to understand and help me through.
I hope to hear from some of you... thank you |
| |
| |
|
|
i am sorry Daddy this should have been posted last night.
this has been a week of reflection for me, mostly trying to look back and see where i have grown and what good i have done since being with my Master as i feel if i don't grow or do well, then i should reevaluate my reasons for being in a D/s relationship. as i look back i see so many new steps, or perhaps same steps, new direction. but the point is i see myself filled often with growing pains wanting to hold onto the familliar even if it never quite worked for me before and struggling through changes. i may balk at first my i take the steps because i trust he leads me in the right direction. looking ahead, i could get weary thinking of all the growth yet to be come but for now i'll be content in knowing he is very good for me. |
| |
| |
|
|
| |
| |
|
|
things i learned this week... 1) rushing to complete a task doesnt always get the task done correctly 2) if i don't understand what i'm told to do... don't wing it, ask for clarification. 3) Daddy doesn't like to waist his time (i actually knew that one)
honestly all of those have been drilled into my head by each Master over the years, but then when i'm with a new Master i start all over again relearning old things, why? i think i revert to being "new" with them, i trip about things and get nervous. once that flow is established i seem to do fine. with Daddy i'm not so new anymore but at first he didnt ask that much, now as we grow he asks more and the stage fright kicks in.... i'll get the hang |
| |
| |
|
|
being in the lifestyle as long as i have i have seen many things, but the thing that never fails to disturb me is the lack of decorum (de·co·rum(di-kôr'?m, -kor'-)Appropriateness of behavior or conduct; propriety) for those who don't have a clue... that i run across daily with both Doms and subs alike. as i chat in the rooms i find fewer and fewer that i return to out of respect for my Master and myself. to all the Doms out there who want to be an ass with me... my Master has better things to do in his life than protect my honor 24/7 when i can do it so well myself... he just really likes to tear apart fresh meat now and then you've been warned. and btw... insulting my Master to my face... not the way to earn brownie points in my book.
|
| |
| |
|
|
well finally out of the hospital and, honestly with the infection gone i feel alot better even with the pain still there. the week has gone by slow but not without its bumps, but well they helped me see that i need to let go more and trust He will guide me. i know he's a good man with nothing but my best at heart he was right to say i need to stop trying to be things he doesnt ask me to be, just because i assume thats what he wants. sometimes being a lifer and through the hard core side of it at first tends to make me forget i don't know it all when it comes to a Master... there will always be something to learn
|
| |
| |
|
|
sat aug 30th-- well going for simple in and out "we'll fix it" surgery has left me stuck in the hospital until they can get things done right i guess. it is times like this i feel how lonely my life is and i watch myself become this hidiously clingy sub. it makes me hate myself for the amount of time i could suck from my Daddy if he would let me, then when he doesn't i feel like i'm being isolated and pushed away. i'm sure it's mostly the lack of outside friends and internet i am dealing with that make me this way. sighs, maybe i just need more patience on being a better sub.
sat sept 6th-- the surgery is done i hurt and i am on Daddys last nerve, he has even chastized me which makes me cry for hours after we are off the phone. i'm scared to try and contact him at all this weekend because i know i've pushed him so far. i am so very sad at how dissapointed he has been about me. if there wasn't so much more involved besides just me, char it might be easier on everyone. i'm sorry for that Daddy... honestly
|
| |
| |
|
|
years i struggled through serving Masters who didn't get all parts of me, or would take advantage of my weaker or for lack of a better word more vulnerable parts, because they owned all. there is such a sence of liberty to find one that i can trust with all of me. the freedom to let down my guard and be myself whoever that girl is. i have been so excited that he has taken the time and effort to get to know all about me and embrace every part.
this past week although things haven't gone well with my recouperation they have gone well with my Daddy... i have felt his support and his love every step of the way. it has been what's kept my spirits up throught this past month honestly through the constant setbacks. maybe someday i'll be able to really show him how much it means to me.
having so much down time is difficult when it comes to my idea of how i should be as a sub... but its his idea that counts and he says right now his orders are to do my best to take care of myself and get better
that is what i am and will do
|
| |
| |
|
|
Lately there has been so many things I've found myself trying to learn and accept in the lifestyle as well as every other area of my life. It has taken this otherwise self assured girl and caused me to seek out Daddy's support more and more. A place I haven't found quite so comfortable as even though I've been a Daddy's girl for years I've always managed to have my sh** together. At this point my only comfort is that this can't be a permanent situation, I'll find a way to cope and get back to being me again.
Be patient with me Daddy...... please
|
| |
| |
|
|
it's funny how in life some things never change while others never remain the same... |
| |
| |
|
|
| |
|
Male Switch, 47, Atlanta, Georgia
|
Male Dominant, 54
|
Male Submissive, 38, San Rafael, California
|
Female Switch, 52
| | |
Male Switch, 52, central va, Virginia
|
Male Dominant, 65, Surry, New Hampshire
|
Male Submissive, 23, Napoli
|
Male Dominant, 46, Austin, Texas
| | |
Male Dominant, 32
|
Male Switch, 27, Mesa, Arizona
|
Male Submissive, 44, Kansas City, Kansas
|
Male Submissive, 44, Kansas City, Kansas
| | |
|
|
|
|
|
| |
