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doyaeverwonder

doyaeverwonder

Don't you ever wonder why you are drawn to this lifestyle? Does it bother you? Make you have a high level of self loathing? Make you wonder what is wrong with you and where you have gone wrong in your life?
I asked myself these questions for years. I was very much into the local "scene" for years. I hated myself because of this, I knew that there was something inherently wrong with bd/sm, that there had to be something wrong with me and all the people involved in it, no matter how "normal" they seemed.
I saw a few different psychiatrists over the years trying to either find a way to accept this or get rid of these awful feelings. Every therapist I saw told me that kink was either simply a "disorder" or one who compared people involved to prison guards at Abu gharib. I couldn't argue with that assessment.
I have seen "hard bottom" subs who don't feel victimized by what they have done to them, but ask them if they asked 20 people how many would tell them they are sick and need help and all they say is "people just don't understand". People don't understand because this is a sickness, and 99% of the subs out there are victims.
I have seen tops who I am sure have bodies buried under there homes, because they are maybe ½ a step removed from serial killers. Sick, demented sociopaths who get sexual pleasure from the suffering of others (look up sadist sometime in the dictionary and see what it means, see some of the famous sadists of the past 100 years, Hitler, Dahmer,Gacy, it's a pretty impressive list). People, and I use the term very loosely, who feel the are doing nothing wrong. Guess what, you are. Try to sell it to yourself or others anyway you want, you are taking advantage of weak minded people who can't defend themselves (subs).
As a libertarian the argument that the government shouldn't stick it's nose into peoples bedrooms is valid, except in this case. Remember a few years ago in Quincy, the woman who chopped up her client and tried to hide him. When people start to die from kink it removes the harmless fun argument. Pain by the way is not harmless fun, it is in our bodies to tell us something destructive is happening to use, maybe you sick pain sluts should realize that.
It took me forever to get over this, I tried sexual reorientation, treating it as a drug addiction, ignoring it. Every day is another battle to overcome these feelings, every day a fight, just like addiction. It's worth it though, I no longer feel like a sociopath .
I urge any good person on here to get help, either a therapist or other means, don't believe for one second this sickness isn't destructive.


Been a while since I posted so I thought I would drop some knowledge on you poor folks.  

"If children at [an] early age witness sexual intercourse between adults ... they inevitably regard the sexual act as a sort of ill-treatment or act of subjugation: they view it, that in a sadistic sense."--Sigmund Freud, 1905

Freud was one of the first to discuss S & M on a psychological level. During the 20 years he explored the topic, his theories crossed each other to create a maze of contradictions. But he maintained one constant: S & M was pathological.

People become masochistic, Freud said, as a way of regulating their desire to sexually dominate others. The desire to submit, on the other hand, he said, arises from guilt feelings over the desire to dominate. He also argued that the desire for S & M can arise on its own when a man wants to assume the passive female role, with bondage and beating signifying being "castrated or copulated with, or giving birth."


Max Mosley's Nazi S&M Orgy was distasteful. Was it also pathological?

Max Mosley is facing calls to resign as president of Formula One after News of the World published an exposé about his sex life. In a video obtained by the British tabloid, a prostitute straps the 67-year-old Mosley to a bench and beats him with a cane; then Mosley switches roles: He shouts orders in German while he lashes prostitutes dressed in imitation death camp uniforms. Mosley's bedroom habits may be distasteful, but are they pathological?
Not necessarily. The American Psychiatric Association's Diagnostic and Statistical Manual recognizes eight major paraphilias, or aberrant sexual urges: exhibitionism, fetishism, frotteurism (the desire to rub against a person), pedophilia, transvestic fetishism (attraction to the clothing of the opposite gender), voyeurism, masochism, and sadism. But the big eight aren't considered diagnosable disorders unless the activity (or fantasy about the activity) is recurrent, causes significant emotional distress, impairs social functioning, or involves a violation of consent. So, consensual S&M that doesn't lead to, say, crippling guilt is not classified as a disease.
As for the orgy's Nazi overtones, Nazi costumes and other paraphernalia are not unheard of in the sexual role-play subculture. Like biker gear, SS outfits can heighten the sense of a "top/bottom" power differential, which, to some, is highly arousing. Mosley may have some demons to exorcise (his father, Oswald, was a known Nazi sympathizer), but his penchant for sinister playacting doesn't demonstrate any form of psychosis.
Sadomasochism has a long literary history. The fourth-century Kama Sutra, for example, recommends erotic slapping, scratching, and biting. And in the 17th century, German physician Johann Heinrich Meiborn used contemporary anatomical theory to explain why pain would cause sexual excitement (flogging warms semen). But psychiatric research on the practice began in earnest during the 19th century when Austrian psychiatrist Richard Freiherr von Krafft-Ebing published Psychopathia Sexualis. According to Krafft-Ebing, sex that isn't directly related to procreation, like S&M, is a perversion. Rape, by contrast, is aberrant, but not perverse, since it can result in pregnancy. Sigmund Freud also considered the desire to inflict or receive pain during sex a perversion and noted that these opposite tendencies often occur in the same person (see Max Mosley).
Psychoanalysts today theorize that sadomasochists may be repeating an early sexual experience. (French majors may recall that, in the Confessions, Rousseau enjoys an early-childhood spanking and then seeks to repeat the experience later in life). But the current empirical research on what motivates sadomasochistic behavior is inconclusive. There's no established link between S&M and childhood history; practitioners are no more likely to have been spanked or sexually abused than anyone else in the population. There's also no scientific proof that consensual S&M is a gateway to nonconsensual sadomasochistic assault. Andreas Spengler, a German physician who conducted a large-scale S&M study in the 1970s, found that practitioners are generally happy with their sexual preferences, yet burdened by social stigma.
Sadomasochists who aren't happy with their preferences and seek treatment have a few options. Traditional approaches include psychoanalysis and 12-step sexual addiction/compulsion recovery programs. More recently, drugs that reduce testosterone levels and thus lower the sex drive have been used in conjunction with behavioral therapy.

From Slate.com