dovemagic

Female Switch, 25, San Jose, California

Male Dominant, 44, essex

My new Mentor is keeping me busy and I am learning a LOT.  I am also learning that I may not be seeking what I thought I was.

I have changed both mentors and point of view.  I am now more open to experiencing new things without the responsibility of a long term committment, you will still have to be Open and honest, aware of SSC and RACK and kive locally but I will consider offers for fulfilling fantasies without the need for a long term commitment

I am continually amazed at the presumptive arrogance of the Dom's that contact me.  Just because You are a Dom and I am a sub does not mean thatwe are a match, anymore than the fact that you are male and I am female means that we should fall in love in the vanilla world.  You do not march up to a woman you have never seen before on the street and demand "You are marrying me."  You also do not inform me that if I am a "true" sub I will serve you.  My service is an honor, an honor you need to earn.  I honor you by choosing to serve you out of all the Dom's that I have met.  I am submitting to someone I truely want to serve and be with, not simply someone who is stronger, more forceful, more domineering than I.  The collar I take must be a "fit". Imagine that finding the proper sub/Dom relationship is like finding the right dog.  If you like hunting and hiking, you don't want a toy poodle and if you like crowded parties, you don't want a dog that takes up the entire room and knocks the guests down with his tail.  But once you find the right breed, then you pick out one you like and THEN, THEN you start to train them. The main difference is that with a sub, both get to decide if it is a match.  Until I agree to take that collar, I can back out and I will back away from anyone who merely wants a sub, any sub and they will train them to their specifications.  No matter how good you are you can't train a chiuhahua to pull a sled.  Get to know me, what I like, what I don't like, what nmy talents are, what my weaknesss are.  Before we ever meet, show me that I can trust you.  I am going to insist that you meet my leather family, allow me to meet yours.  I am going to share with you my background, share with me yours.  Be a person, be real.  This isn't a scene, it isn't some book or fantasy, this is real life.

Okay, I am still looking and STILL ONLY LOOKING FOR LOCAL MEN. 100 miles or less.  I am considering a switch if he is predominantly Dom.  Or, just for fun, not a permanant relationship a sub.  (I really am not interested in being a domme, just like to top occassionally.

I am getting a lot of replies, which is great!  I am looking for someone who is in this area (let's face it, if you are more than 100 miles away real time play is going to be practically non-existant) and willing to be part of the local community, if not already a member. My community is very involved and I am still so new that I need their support to feel safe.  I am looking for someone who is interested in the BDSM aspect and the intimacy.  Not just one or the other.  I can get played at any of the clubs and I can pick up someone at a bar.  What I need is a blending of the two with the hopes of developing into a true relationship.

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