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Male Dominant, 43, rome
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About dolcea
As the title states, I am a 20 year old female college student in Illinois looking for a male Dominant, preferably under 30 years old. I have done a fair amount of research on the lifestyle for the past year, and I’m starting to believe more and more that it is for me, though given my complete lack of real life experience, I could very well be wrong. Nonetheless, I would like to try to find a Dom and see where this leads me.
I’ll start with a little information about why I believe I have the potential to be a submissive. I feel like I have a constant need to please others and for others’ approval. When I was in high school, I sought to do well not for myself, but because I so desperately wanted to make my teachers, parents, and peers proud of me and respect me. When I did not do well, I of course felt “stupid” and bad on my own behalf, but even moreso, I felt awful and guilty for the feeling that I disappointed my teachers and parents, and there was really nothing I could do to get rid of that awful, guilty feeling. There still isn’t. And now I’m in college, and I’m beginning to grow into the “real world” and apart from having teachers and parents looking over my shoulder constantly, but I still have this desire to please and gain someone’s approval. I call my parents when I’m upset, but they urge me to seek out solutions on my own. It’s not that I’m too lazy to do so, but it’s unbelievably stressful to feel so much responsibility resting on my shoulders, and there’s no one to give it to. I just feel this need to serve someone and make others happy, and I feel the need to have someone take care of me and give me guidance, even through I’m too old to get those things from a parent or teacher or anyone else. I also feel this awful, stomach-wrenching guilt when I haven’t done something right, and I feel like I would need punishment for certain things as well.
I realize that this may be a lot to ask for, and these guidelines are most definitely not strict, but I am looking for a male Dominant, ideally under 30-ish years old. Bonus for being in the Chicagoland area. I am looking for someone who is willing to take physical aspects of a relationship slowly (I’m more than willing to negotiate the boundaries of this) as well as someone I have a romantic connection with. I feel as though I really wouldn’t be able to engage in this type of a relationship without initially estabilishing a strong emotional and romantic connection. Ideally, this relationship would be monogamous. I realize that this is a lot to ask for and I’m more than willing to negotiate and discuss these issues with whoever expresses interest, and they are not hard lines by any means. I certainly hope that these guidelines don’t come off as disrespectful, as that is not my intent; I’m just trying to explain my situation to find the best person for me so that issues don’t arise further down the line.
But regarding the sexual side of things, I do masturbate. I do feel like I’m into kinkier things, especially the idea of power play. When I was five, before that I realized that masturbation was even sexual in nature or that what I was feeling was sexual arousal, I would masturbate to images such as people being flogged or decapitated. It wasn’t the concept of the pain that turned and turns me on, it’s the concept of being helpless and of someone having that power over me. Even with my ex-boyfriend (with whom I have not done anything more than kissing), when he put his arm around my waist, I felt that I enjoyed it on two levels: one was that I’m a natural cuddler, and another one was the sense of entitlement with which he touched me. For a long time I have felt that it was wrong for me to want these things, but when I discovered a D/s relationship, I began to realize more and more that it may be what I’m looking for.
I’m not sure exactly how much control I want to give to someone else because I feel like initially, TPE would be too much of a drastic change for me to handle, but I do want to experiment with the amount of control a Dominant would have over my daily life. I’m want someone to guide me, love me, care for me, take things slowly, and have my best interests at heart, but someone who will also be firm and strict.
If you have any interest in me or any questions, I would be more than happy to discuss things with you further. Pictures if you ask once we know each other a little better :) |
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