I have been a submissive and kinky all my adult life. Even when I didn't know how to name it; and was unsure of how to achieve the type of relationship and partner that I spoke to my heart and soul. As far as who I am as a partner. I am loving, kind, giving, loyal, and honest, sometimes overly so. When I am in, I am all in which often leads to heartache for me. I am trying to learn how to not jump in with both feet, but how to dip a toe in the water and walk out slowly. Unfortunately, I have found that these types of relationships often are like a bullet train when the chemistry is right. So I am looking for a Dominant who understands this, and can control themselves not just me. I am also a supportive partner, I like helping my partner succeed at their goals. Whether that just means I listen and help them work through problems, or that I get involved more. I like men who are confident enough to take the lead, and that includes in conversation. I can be talkative, but I have learned the men I find attractive are the ones who I don’t have to lead the conversation.
I am going to state upfront a few of the things I need from any prospective partner. I am looking for a LTR based on D/s: 1- The ability to communicate. If you don't have time to answer a text message the same day, you don't have time for a relationship. If you aren't able to talk on the phone within the first week, then you aren't free enough to be in a relationship. If you can't have a video chat, then you aren't open enough to be in a relationship. 2- A TPE, is an exchange of power. When a sub or slave follows protocols and rules daily, they are giving their energy to the Dom or Master. It requires the Dom or Master to invest their energy in an equal way otherwise it isn't an exchange, it is a draining of 1 person to fill the other. 3- I am a trusting person, and give everyone the benefit of the doubt. But if your actions consistently don't match your words, I will take your actions to be the truth. 4 – if you are married, or otherwise in a committed romantic relationship, please pass me by. I am not poly, and I am not looking to be the fluffer to spice up your sex life with your partner.
I was born in 1969 and have been divorced since 2016, continuing on my path of discovery. I have much to experience and learn, but that will hopefully never end...... to stop learning and growing is to become old and die.
A few of the things I am sure of:
I am a submissive and a masochist. I prefer being in partnerships where I am not the leader. I am great at being supportive and helping my partner, I just prefer they determine our direction. With the right person, and I have only found a handful of people I feel this way about, I prefer a Master/slave relationship. But I am not looking for the porn version of this. I have no interest in giving my entire life to serving someone as their house servant. I have a demanding job. I have friends and family obligations, and I am looking for a man who also has these connections. There has to be an ability to have affection and love besides the kink and power exchange relationship. I am looking for a loving master slave relationship that hopefully stands the test of time.
I am a demisexual - I don't have sexual feelings for a person until I have an intellectual/emotional and most importantly some sort of D/s connection. That doesn't mean we have to be practically married, just that some connection has to have started.
I am a sapiosexual - I need a partner who I find intelligent. I love theoretical conversations on some level for just about everything. Some people find this tedious and boring. I don't blame them, I'm sure it is - but it's me. I also can't submit to someone I don't think is intelligent enough to make decisions at least as good as mine - and hopefully better.
Power exchange has to be the framework any long-term romantic/sexual relationship. I have discovered minimal D/s that includes ethical/loving sadism can be enough for a casual sexual relationship.
I am not a brat. I also am not a pushover. I will not lie about my opinions or what I think when asked, and have no problem expressing myself. I do it respectfully, but if what you want is a puppet I am not your woman. This has been a difficult dance for me. I have found a Master/slave type bond, my preferred type of dynamic, often leads to this aspect of myself being read as disagreeably or a negative in the relationship. I am still working on figuring out the best approach and language to walk this difficult line.
I like impact play, and since I am without an in-person dominant for the foreseeable future, I have been slowly learning my boundaries and limits in non-sexual bottoming. Taking it slowly, but always trying to learn.
1/24/26
== Results from bdsmtest.org: ==
95% Masochist
94% Submissive
80% Slave
77% Rope bunny
76% Degradee
44% Primal (Prey)
40% Experimentalist
37% Brat
37% Pet
26% Non-monogamist
17% Vanilla
14% Exhibitionist
13% Voyeur
13% Switch
0% Ageplayer
0% Little
