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Over the years I’ve came across different definitions and views of what submission actually is and have finally come to my own conclusion and view on it. I don’t think a slave’s or sub’s submission is entitled to me just because I identify as a Dom, that’s something that is earned just as trust is earned; it is also something that is just as fragile as trust is. I’ll even go as far as to say that the two are one, well let’s say intertwined. I say this because of the fact that a Dom needs to earn the trust of a slave or sub before they’re going to actually give the Dom their submission. Gaining and building this trust, I believe, is through deep understanding and mental connection with each other.
I’ve been told my online D/s relationship experience doesn’t count as “real” experience, but is that right? I mean when it comes to physical play, yes, but not the overall concept of building and gaining trust. Think about it, an online D/s relationship removes the physical fallacy that may come with a in person relationship; it makes one focus on what’s important: the mental connection. This is how two builds trust. Now I’m not saying that there shouldn’t be any physical aspect to it, just saying from the profiles that I’ve read of slaves and subs that the physical aspect of things are being overly emphasized and I think it’s a shame. I understand everyone has their own preference but why even venture in this lifestyle only looking for kinky sex or someone who meets your long list of physical preferences, I thought it was all about mental connections and unlike the vanilla world that focuses on physical attractions…am I wrong?
I’m not expert and haven’t been in the lifestyle or interested for 20+ years or have a lot of experience, but the whole reason the lifestyle attracted my attention so much wasn’t the kink or play aspects, it was the fact that it seemed to focus more on connection instead of attraction like the vanilla world does. |
