DisenchantedWolf

Female Submissive, 41, FW, Texas

Female Submissive, 23

Female Switch, 39, Los Gatos, California

Insanity I'm been going insane lately, between trying to go to school, going to school, helping family members for St Joseph's Day, trying to find a job, quitting smoking, exercising, and planning my life accordingly, that to be honest, right now, I don't want, nor do I believe I have time for any sort of a relationship. Right now I am looking for friends, and only friends. While yes, my nympho self does miss the extra activities that come with a boyfriend, as well as the talking and cuddling and curling up next to someone at night, for now, my vibrator and my body pillow and extra blankets will have to do. You see, I'm tired of searching for the right one in the sea of fakes that are on this site, as well as others. I will still check this for a couple unnamed friends, however I do not wish to lead anyone astray, I am NOT looking right now. I will be sure to inform you all of when or if that ever changes, but for now, I'm convinced there is no man or woman in this world who could handle me, and who I could handle as well. So until then, adieu, au revious, auf weidersehen, and goodbye.

Useless Doll I am but I useless doll A toy for you to play with To fix me up, or break me down Tell me what you want and I'll do it A useless toy That sits upon a shelf No longer laughs or cries Just me and my painted smile. I am just a useless doll No more, and no less No soul or dreams are left to crush Tell me who you want me to be today You can dress me up or down Tell me how to wear my hair This useless doll has no rights But those you give or let her have This useless doll lays in a chest Dust covering all her parts It is all that I am left of me All that is left of who I was So pick me up if you wish Clean me off or let me sit Alone, unwanted This useless doll has no purpose It is all that I am And all that I can be Tell me I'm you're toy Come and play with me I am only this useless doll For you to use as you wish. But even dolls get thrown away, So make me yours, or do the same.

So I just got done watching Legion today, and have been doing things that I want to do lately, for myself. I feel a bit better for it. Healed in a way. The healing process is slow, but at least now I can pick up pieces of my own life slowly, and hopefully someday soon I will have the strength again to stand on my own tow feet, without the help of anyone else. It is slow going, and will be for some time, but at least I am moving slowly towards my own goals.

I'm spending today watching a new anime... not too many out there that I've heard of though... any good suggestions?

Well I have finally figure out exactly what it is that attracts me to the Doms I'm attracted to... but I have no way of describing it other than this bit of darkness that hides behind their eyes. Some people I will admit are just too bright for me, and not in the mental state, but in the personality state. My ideal kind of Dom would be well read and have seen many movies, including Phantom of the Opera and Sweeny Todd. I want a man who I can take to a Ren-fair and enjoy the show of it, possibly dressing up in traditional garb, and letting him parade me about however he wished. I guess you could say I'm looking for an open-minded, somewhat eclectic individual who knows computers at least a little more than I do, slightly artistic in some sense whether it's voice or drawing or instrumental. An easy way to say it for any of you who actually might be reading this, I'm looking for a mixture of the Phantom of the opera, with the protectiveness of Raoul (watch the movie if you don't know what I'm talking about) who can put me in my place without even trying, and will allow me the pleasure of His company. I want a guy who can find the beauty in me just being myself, and allow me the simple pleasure in life, along with exquisite pain. The other half of the man I want to find, is a man I can sit and listen to Dr Demento, and Ray Stevens, and John Valby, and a load of funny music and just sit and laugh with. Are my wants so obscure that I'll never find them all in one man? I don't know... But if you're out there, please message me... I'm growing tired of looking.

Being a nympho is a hard thing to live with when you're single... very hard to live with.

Yay for welding classes. I enjoy it.... Why? I look at it as art with molten metal.

So I spent my birthday with one of my exs... and in a way it was healing, to say the least...

Okay, an update to all who are coming on here looking at me, right now  I'm waiting a while before I decide whether I want to get out and date or not. I'm always willing to talk and meet new people, but for now, I think this is best.

It really is amazing how many times I can listen to a tool song and it fits me damn near perfectly.

So it seems I have been thrown back into the dating pool again. I wonder if I will ever find someone willing to love me for me, and willing to stick around.

God this is bad. I want Sir to whip me. I want him to torture and spank and whip and gods anything. I want him to make me scream from the pain. To force my word out of my mouth because I finally CANNOT take anymore. I want to beg and scream and cry and plead and promise to be good! AND I CAN'T DO IT WITH PEOPLE HERE!!!!!!

Sorry guys, I'm getting tired of people sitting here asking me to be theirs, when I have a collar. Granted I didn't when I got on here, but I do now. As I said before, quoting christopher titus, I found my ice cream truck. For those of you who don't know what that means look up Love is Evol, and watch his standup. He'll explain it to you. So yeah, my profile has been changed... my current front page is different from what it was. And before you ask, to some of the guys out there the way you did things WAS really cute, like the guy that sent me the emoticon just to get me to smile.

We did something this morning that was more healing for me than I could have imagined. Something I'd only ever done with my ex. Anal. I finally was able to take it well. Without pain. To enjoy it. I can't explain it to someone who has never had it happen to them. To have something that was once pain... once brought nothing but shadows... to have it changed to something else. Something more.

He's teaching me to ask for what I want... it's not something I'm good at, at any level. Starting slow and making me ask him for more. It's not as easy as one would think. I'm used to not asking for what I want, but being content with what my master is willing to give. No matter the cost to myself. While it is still my will to do anything my master asks or wishes of me, I am learning, slowly, that sometimes what I want, is what he wants for me. The other half of this is I am learning I truly am more of a masochist than I realized in the beginning, and this too is not a bad thing. Truly I have found one who can use me as an instrument, and make me play the sweetest notes.

Over two months and only one issue, and it was a whole 30 minute my jealousy got in the way of me thing. I haven't needed to be on here... too look at other masters of other slaves and want. I have no need to want, because everything I want I have... only exception is me having a job, which I am still working on. Beyond that. Beyond anything. I am in love with my master. I am happy with my master. So to those of you who are old enough to be my father, who still want to try and seduce me, I'm sorry for you, but it won't work. No man could ever take his place.

Owned. Completely owned. Things are in fact going so well I almost feel a bit like Alice. Tumbling down the rabbit hole. I'm not used to this type of thing. Not even close. Not only do I get spoiled with things like smokes and dew, you know, the necessities in any 20 something's life, I also get spoiled with eating out once in a while as well as being able to cook, and things like bowling that I love to do, and movies I haven't seen. He knows just how to balance the things that matter most in life, and still both make me feel like a princess and a slave. Sorry guys, but chances are unless he leaves me none of you have a chance, but I wish you all the best, and hope you all can find someone who can make you anywhere near as happy as I've found myself being. And although I'm still not used to this, and can feel like I'm both dealing with the cheshire cat and the white rabbit all at the same time, I don't think I'm going to leave this knight in bloodstained armor for quite some time. I'm not sure if better or more a match exists.

Well ladies and gents, I am terribly sorry, however I am off the market. I met a really good man, and even though at one point I was looking for more than friends with some of you, now all I'm looking for is friends. I know, it blows that I'm no longer available, I know some of you are probably hurt and/or pissed. I really am sorry. But I do still want to have friends with you guys. Please just understand... to paraphrase Christopher Titus... I found my ice cream truck. Everything's perfect. I have absolutely no complaints. I can't find anything to complain about. So I am sorry fellas, but I'm off the market, as it were. He won. He won big time.

Now I feel bad. For the first time in my life it's like I have some nice men lined up in front of me, asking me to be theirs, and no matter what happens I would like to remain friends with all of them. But I know in this case if I ever choose any of them one or more will be hurt in some way. I have friends of mine telling me I should go for a certain guy, and I've talked to another that things just seem to click out of nowhere, and that doesn't even account for a couple of the others. I feel weird. Awkward. I'm used to there not being a single guy who sees me as attractive... now it's like I have to pick. How do I do this and not seem heartless towards any of them? I guess I just really don't know what to do right now. I feel so weird that... I don't know... I have to pick. I know that. I'm actually going to have to make a choice. But for now, I just want to be friends with these guys. Until I know for sure which one I want to go with I want to know who these men really are. It just makes me feel weird. I can't decide where to eat dinner but I have to decide on this, and hope I make the right decision, because otherwise I'm going to get hurt again.

Okay... this may end up an every day thing I don't know yet. I have a handful of possibilities right now, one who has sincerely sparked an interest by being dom, and it made me truly realize I live to serve. I like to do as I'm told, and when someone can sit there and take control it's even better. Do I like to switch it up? Once in a while. I still want to find a man who will let me tie him up and play with him. Make him so horny and frustrated that he'll throw me against a wall when I finally untie him. Bring out the animal in him to where no is not an option, and in that moment he has perfect control over me just by willpower and strength alone. In that moment we become the animals with our basic instincts. Complete submission to our own wants as well as mine to his will. I've never been allowed. I'm sorry... it's one of my fantasies. I want to be able to both submit to the cravings inside of me as well as to the wants of Him. To be able in that moment have nothing go through my brain. No fears or sadness or joy. Just that moment of pure calm. People have asked me why I like being a sub. I think maybe I have a different reason than some. I like the pain. I revel in the pain. Because the moment the pain stops every muscle in my body relaxes at once. I've been trained by my previous master to enjoy the pain. To get off on it. And I do, however it's that moment where everything stops and releases from my body and mind, and I find that perfect peace. I love being good for my master and doing as I am told. I love being called a good girl. But I also love pushing my limits when I am stressed. I will probably never be completely behaved, all the time, because I want the punishment of it as well as the pleasure of being good. The pride of it.

okay, so I left my house for awhile and immediately felt better. An oooh?!?! What's this?!?!? I have an admirer... This is... different. And to anyone who reads this please stop asking me about my mom. What I'm looking for really is someone who's 21 to 30 years old. I'm not looking for someone my dad's age... I didn't realise quite how many I'd get that are that old. Not that it's too old for a friend, but I'm still halfway looking for someone special. Someone different. If you're looking for my mom look up 48 year old female subs and you'll find her somewhere. She's a good woman who needs a good man, so if you think she might be your type go for it. As for how I know my mom's into this? It's a long story, that if I get to know you a little I might just tell you.

Talk about another kick to the teeth. Just found out my ex was seeing someone else before he dumped me. I'm shaking now... don't really know why. Doesn't matter. I don't care anymore.

Okay. This is my first day on this site. Heard about this (strange though it may sound)from my mother who recommended it. I'm just looking for another person who's into this kind of lifestyle. Someone who I can sit there playing video games with, or a wow campaign, but mostly someone who I can just be around. Someone who I can just be me... And if it leads to more than that I'm all for it. But right now I want to meet someone new. Someone with the same interests and values, but mostly just someone who I can go have fun with. I hope I get to meet someone like that. It doesn't change the fact that I feel retarded on this thing. I've never been on a site like this... and I guess you could call this a bit of a long shot, but there was one person from my area. I don't know if he'll message me, but I'm hoping.

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