Diffi

Change is hard and sometimes it takes you by suprise. You leave to go forward and end up trying to figure out where you are, dazed and confused, as the song says. Having to split who you are to find yourself and place yourself in a situation that works. For a man its easy, they are who they are and have no desire to change that unless it brings some type of instant gratification, especially in this realm of people. Is there not a middle ground, a truce as to speak. A way to live your life to be happy and allow the ones around you to be so as well. Sexuality at this time in our lives (Anyone under thirty, your not there yet and be glad) seems to be the driving force and if it is not then it takes a back burner to much bullshit. Is there a way to be alive, feel alive but not at anyones expense, especially your own? I dont think there is a way to intigrate this lifestyle with reality which is a shame for thoes that are not as comfortable with the vanilla world. Kind of like Pandoras box, once its opened it wont shut that easy and when it does, so does the desire, but the memories remain as well as the what if's?

Weekend was interesting. Had some me time and much time to think. Have been setting my goals and have been eagerly achieving them. Yea me!!! I have been working on myself from the internal thoughts to the external with much exercise and walking time (allows me time to gather my thoughts). Have been learning much about the world within the realms of these sites and starting to realize that many things that I thought were proper and normal are not. Starting to think outside the box and realize that I have so much to give. Still pondering more on that. Well with that being said back to homework...last class for this degree...yea summer graduate then school begins again for additional education...hate to read but love to learn.