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My last relationship ended not so long ago because I've always felt like I've needed something more. I've always felt my sexual relationships needed a sense of conflict, almost anger, and ultimately a power struggle. I can't define my role in this because I honestly don't know. I've gone to a pro Domme and had a terrible experience - I'm not into strict dominance, I don't care to be called a worm and there's enough pain in this world without having to go look for it. I simply want to find someone who isn't going to run away if things in the bedroom get a little rough.
My sexual relationships are a very small part of what defines me (That part of the relationship is a small part, please don't read anything into that). Aside from that, I'm a guy. I can make you laugh, I can challenge you to think, I'm creative, artistic and not too hard on the eyes. I'm very fit, in sports I often get the "just wait 'til you turn 40" line. And I'm alone. Given the number of projects I'm into and how many hobbies I have and how much time work takes up, alone isn't always a bad thing. In exploring who I am sexually, alone is a dead end. I've read lots of books on the subject, they're all about things I'm not. I've talked to a number of pro Dommes, I've even had a session. It's like ordering off a menu when you don't see anything you know you want - and the prices!!!
I know I take this far too personally, but I've been rejected because "we're not compatible", before she ever got to know me. Part of me says "her loss", the larger part of me (again, talking mental, not physical) says there are only so many people out there I could be compatible with. To be shot down without basis means I'm going to be alone for a long, long time. I understand there's a fear of opening up to someone you've met on the internet. I will do anything I can to ease that fear, I'll provide references if I must.
I see a relationship as a relationship. I don't have a selfish perspective, I'm not here to get laid (I know I'm gonna have my man card revoked for this). I enter a relationship asking myself what I bring to the table, not what I want from it. If you think you know me because you know other guys, you're probably wrong. If you decided it would be safer to never get to know me, you're certainly wrong.
There, I've put my heart and soul out there, feel free to stomp all over them.
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I don't know how to label myself - am I a dom, a sub or a switch?
When I first came here I thought I was a sub 'cause the idea of a girl in high heels doing wicked things to me turned me on. Turns out, a girl in high heels turns on just about any man with a pulse, so I have a pulse! More recently I went and checked out the profiles of a number of Dommes, and I found, much to my surprise, that not only didn't I want to drop to my knees and give in to their demands, but given the chance I would flip 'em over and spank 'em until they changed their tune.
What I am is confused...
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| Age: 29 |
| Lakewood,
Colorado |
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