Dichotomie

when the whirlwind of chronic emotions & action died down yesterday, i had to access the placement of the chess-pieces of my life.

a poor player,never going into play with a stratagy nor training, i chose to criticize those who either wish to help me learn, or with good intentions move my pieces, trying to avoid check-mates in my life.


arrogance? naivity? or simply running from my own incompetance, i have tried to find dominants who are willing to make moves for me. Yet only the angel sees their love, the little devil begrudges their superior knowledge, which only highlights my lack of both....

mabe the truest lesson of all is to take the advice of my father. "when in doubt, do nothing"...for a wrong move, or several without a game-plan, is so much more difficult to undo...

how many whirlwinds this would prevent...

and how many others, caught up in my emotions&actions, including births,deaths and divorces, would not have suffered.

i thank S for his mail. time i learnt to not play out of my league.


someone just sent me a texto on my phone, talk about syncronicity.."sometimes you get to where you want to be by not doing anything. No need to rush".


mabe i should trust in the Good of the Natural Flow... let the tide carry me instead of trying to play chess in a game i don't understand.