Dhamma

I'll try to give you as much pertinent information about us as I can. My name is Ray and my wife is Anet. We are both in our mid-40's and active in the local groups. I have been living the D/s lifestyle since I was a kid, even before I realized it had a name. My family has always lived the typical male-dominated lifestyle, and my grandparents and parents were good role models for me. I also learned the Christian model of a male dominant during my teen and early adult years via good role models in the church I attended, in addition to the values and examples taught in the Bible. (I no longer attend a church, and believe religion is important but should be more personal and intimate than public.)

I have a personally modified belief of what a good dominant and husband is, based on what I have learned over the years. To begin with, he needs to be humble yet unfaltering in his abilities and strengths. He needs to be compassionate, empathetic, supportive, loving and consistent. He needs to be the guiding force in his family, making decisions and enforcing those decisions, based on the needs of those in his family and not for selfish or self-serving desires. In areas that are relatively unimportant and are mostly a matter of preference, I do believe that he has every right to choose things based on his preferences if he desires.

I believe that in a healthy relationship, the partners must concern themselves only with the needs and desires of their partner. It's your responsibility to identify and communicate your needs and desires to your partner and then you must depend on him/her to take care of them for you. Likewise, he/she must be able to trust that you will take care of theirs. Human nature dictates that if you try to take care of your own needs also, eventually you will choose your own to the detriment of your partner. It must be a mutually sacrifical and equal partnership, or it will be doomed to selfishness and disappointment.

On a personal level, I tend to be quieter and more reserved and Anet is more outgoing. We both have varied interests that we can discuss as we get to know each other. As a dominant, I am fairly easy-going and easy to please. I am patient and understanding, but I do have a few reasonable expectations. I expect you to be able to learn and understand why and how I make decisions, and be able to make the same decisions that I would make if you are in a position to. I have no desire to micro-manage you and expect a certain level of intelligence, confidence and responsibility. You should be able to operate independently, within the confines of my values and expectations. One thing that we have no tolerance for is dishonesty. I would much prefer to hear something sad or disappointing than to lose my faith and trust in you.

When it comes to what we like in "play", I am a relatively hard sadist. I'm not much into role-playing, humiliation, and other things as much as I am into your obedience. I love whips and bondage, canes and floggers. I truly enjoy breasts and all types of nipple/breast play and torture. I enjoy playfulness, but will not tolerate a brat. The difference as I would define them is that a brat acts out of a need or desire for attention, even when told to stop. If you want or need attention or anything else, just let me know. I'll see that you get what you need.

What we are specifically seeking is another wife and slave/submissive. It doesn't really matter to me how you define yourself as a slave or submissive. All of our definitions of those terms are subjective and different from another person's ideas. While polygyny may not be recognized by the laws, I believe that it is biblical and morally permitted. You will be treated as an equal to Anet in all ways. We will take every action legally available (power of attorney, wills, etc.) to ensure that you are legally accepted as an equal as well.

You must like cats and dogs, be a non-smoker (or willing to quit), and be honest and faithful. We would prefer that you be childless, or that your children are grown and self-sufficient.

If you would like to know more or get to know us, contact us.