deslutmaster

Ok I have had some time.  Back to looking around and seeing if there is something worth the time investment.  If you are looking and interested. . .get in touch.

Apparently what I write is read and was interpreted wrong.   Please do not contact me. . .anyone until further notice.  I need a break.

So a phone call by someone pointed out that my last journal entry could be viewed as a negative view.  I pointed out she was actually communicating.  I lost and won at the same time.  Interesting how that communication thing works.

So a few days back, I decided to pull a social test and just see what happens.  I sent a nice little hello note to six random selections.  All I wanted to know is if anyone would bother to communicate at all.  Make any effort at all.  Demonstrate in any way a willingness to actually communicate with like minded.  The answer was 100% no.  Not even curiousity.  I can only assume you create profiles to ignore people.  This, however, seems to be pointless.  Has it really gotten this fucked up?

So I know someone who met up with a dom. . .and yet another bad experience story.  I am starting to understand why with all these local ads, communications with them is either non existent, or so limited as to be pointless.  No wonder kink is dead in this state.

So Christmas has passed, and New Year is upon us.  A full year without a good sub.  So I have posted a few ads here and there, casting bread upon the water.  With any luck the subs are also realizing another year and not finding tall dark, super rich, hung like a donkey, perfect dom of their erotic reading needs and hoping that reason hits them like a frying pan to the head that they are not the ideal sub to match their high standards they seek.  I hope upon hope I can avoid the subs that try and fail again and again failing to understand that they are the common denominator in their failures to secure a relationship of the nature they seek.  Between these two extremes in an oh so limited pool of this lifestyle, are those good ones, who because they are who they are, are mostly taken and secured.  This leaves the incredibly small few or one or none left to choose among.  I can but hope against hope that our ships may pass and we find magic, but fortify myself with the knowledge that alone is better than being with a nightmare.  Come to me new year, I face you head on, prepared.  For Ye do I walk through the valley of the most complicated of creatures with all thier emotional drama, I shall fear no self delusional submissive with bizarre expectations, for I have owned them before, and shall own them again.  Come to me 2012.  If you dare.

So I was browsing around cam4 today and I see "dirty secret"  She is 28, and admits to being a sex addict.  She starts with a red thick 8 inch dildo and starts hammering herself so fast and hard it was like a red strobe.  This alone was quite impressive.  She then pulls out a thicker 10 inch dildo and proceeds to do due the same thing.  Ok, now she has my attention.  Then this wonderfull woman sticks both in her and starts working herself.  I am just thinking. . 28?  amazing.  Then she introduces "Thor"  14 inches of super thick black dildo, and she just hammers this monster in her hole and smiles.  After quite a while she finally takes a break, and no joke, grabs a beer and tilts back.  I am well speechless.  But then this one of kind special woman then decides thor and the 8 inch dildo should both be in her pussy.  My god, I have never thought such a perfect angel existed. 

So sad that all I find are crazy, lazy, and worthless.

http://www.cam4.com/

you really ought to enjoy that one.  Kinky people all over the world showing their lust for free hahaha.

Saw an ugly goth chic on there and was like omg. . . . then she got nude and I was like omg . . .a porn queen with a goth ugly face wow.  Who would have thought she was that fun to watch hahahah.

it may be good to be a gangster but it is fun a voyeur too!

Ideal quality of a sub:

Could be defined as a morning blow job that lasts for the length of your first morning cup of coffee without fail, as normal as that morning cup of coffee.  Second thought.  If a group of dom's got together and discussed who had the better sub, this thought would be one of the ones that determined the winner. 

Arousal

I hate days like today.  So far I havent had some erotic thought provide a few moments of arousal.  A simple dirty thought and a smile.  And the lack of it just sucks.  I hope this day gets better.

So this may well be the final entry in the day.  I made it a point to document my thoughts during a whole day and have succeeded.  From my last post till now (around 11pm) I had work and after work life issues that required my undivided attention and reall had no kink thoughts at all.  It seems that when I am left with time to think, my mind turns to kink until the real world commands my attention again.  And I guess this makes sense as we all have to focus on life, work, bills and what not.  But the night is not over, and emails are still coming in so we shall see.

So Wed I had to go to motor vehicle and run my bike through inspection.  Headed into the office area, got my paperwork, and was walking out.  At the door, I look up as I was reaching for the door and it opens.  And there is this smiling hot milf looking at me and she said. . .and I quote " oh you are soooo lucky" smiling.  And without missing a beat, I smiled and said yes mamm  I am and headed out to the bike.  My thinking was I was lucky to have such a hot thing holding the door for me.  Just one minute ago, someone emailed me and said why do you think women like motorcycles?  big powerfull vibrations between there legs.  Oh man. . .that puts a whole new twist on what happened at motor vehicle!!!!!

So I had a few minutes to kill before lunch was over.  Lets go to craigslist and see if there are any horny housewifes being naughty  .. . that should be intertaining to read.  Hey, man there is like nothing for women seeking men.  Damn  guess the personals arent that happening.  Lets try just personals and see what we get.  Holy Cow jack. . .er hhmm.  Yeah there is a lot. . .but damn its all gay males.  Scroll scroll scroll holy shit do I live in gay central?  What the hell is going on?  DAMN. . .these gay men are freaky.  Thoughts:

1. Why does it seem the average gay male seems to be kicking ass over the better female subs?

2. Why are there soooo many gay men?

3.  What the fuck is wrong with the women in this area that men are mostly gay????

4. The abesnse of women with sexuality is staggering

5. Would using a gay male nature serve as a perfect template if applied to a female sub?

6. Holy shit there are a lot of gay men 

7. Stay away from any woman into bisexual men . . . jesus this state is queer.

8. Boy oh boy and I was worried about my last post about the lawn mower.

9. Sigh. . .this is going to really take a long time . . .

Mowing the Lawn:

So lunch time hits today and I need to mow the lawn (I work from home).  So I head out to the garage and get the mower ready and start mowing(its a riding lawn mower).  Mowing the lawn is boring.  All you do is steer and think.  So let me share.  The thought hit me that this thing vibrates a lot.  I wonder if I just had loose shorts and nothing else if I would like my balls and cock bouncing around like that. (oh yes. . I went there. . .kinda like at train wreck isnt it?).  It's hard to tell unless you actually do it.  What is the worst that can happen but it is no different?  What is the best?  hhhmm  nutting loads down my leg and on the mower.  Would this be a bad thing?  Wow did I really go there?  hhmmm even if it just felt great, would sure making mowing the lawn something to look forward to.  So I finish the lawn, park the mower and head to the kitchen to makes some lunch before back to work.  My first thought was man I can't post that. . .the women would freak and be morally offended.  Second thought.  Fuck'em I thought it.  So here it is.  Why. . .surely you must be asking why would I post this idea.  During lunch I was chuckling at this idea.  The mean offended emails I would get.  The outraged women telling me things like well hell if all you need is a mower. .etc etc etc.  And that settled it!  I started typing this.  (go ahead . .you know these seems to be going in the wrong direction).  The thought that hit me was this.  Telling this story to a room full of wannabe subs, all of them morally offended . . .and then a hand raises, eye contact, an odd expression of curiousity and this "Uhm. . .mind if I cut the grass next week?"  BINGO  Now that one is a keeper!

So. . . .how is your lawn?

More random thoughts:

There are more kinky german women per capita than anywhere else and my god are they naughty.  Mutter des gutenmorgens!!!!

Good nightgowns and robs are really important things to have.

I really like visual and conversley I really find shyness and covered up a turn off.

A good sub should make it a point to have her boobs fall out often and regularly.

I don't like firm boobs. (just realized this).  They don't move or sway and I like that.  Even if the boobs are perfect, if they are stiff they arent really fun to enjoy.  They are more fixed carbard props if they are like that.  Odd that I just realized this.  But then again, hahaha. .. all my girls have had nice boob movement so I guess I never really had to consider this.  Interesting.

I was property browsing and I look at things like the size of the yard.  A wonderfull acre of front lawn is nice . . .if you hire a lawn service and dont mind paying.  But to add cutting that much lawn weekly would make me hate living there.  Brick exteriors are big selling points as they are maintenance free.  And it really hit me.

Ladies, low maintenance. . . .is a big deal!!!!!!  If you need hours of direct attention or you are not happy, and need to be wined and dinned as if it was a politician spending tax payer dollars. . . move on.  Don't stop, just move right on past me.  I am ok with missing your "opportunity"!!!!

I real partner is someone who brings to the paring something that has me telling people I have no idea how I got along without her!!!!  I would give up the road cone, and some of the good kinks in exchange for this quality

Another thougth out of the blue but this one I am so absolutley certain of that it is simple and clear.  One of the few I am dead certain of.

Random thoughts that have no source:

French maid outfit, no panties, and a bra setup that is more boob presentation then bra and a duster and watching for an hour pink lips and nipples.

Coming home and finding her nude, legs open lusting with a dildo and a completely wet area.

Sunday morning, a great cup of coffee and a tray with marachino cherries, some whipped cream and her rolled back on her sholders, leg open so that I can have a morning dessert out her her pussy. . . nice. . .oh gawd how nice.

A nap, and waking up from pussy lips being rubbed on my face. (just a method of being worken nothing more)

peirced nipples with bars

20 tastes of her wetness a day.

(these are random thought with no point.  Not sure why or where but putting them down to consider at a later date)

I will simply call this one "Public Play and leasons I have learned"

About 8yrs back, I met a woman who was exploring her submissive side and wanted to experiment.  She had a daughter, and a job and she wanted to get away from her area to quitely play without issues and like most folks that work, had time only on the weekends.  It wound up being every other weekend.  Nice lady, pretty horny, and happy to be trying something different and pretty open minded on options so long as it was done sanely.  We both worked and so we decided upon a format of going out for drinks and fun.  So she would show up, and we would get ready for a night out.  I would have her take off her panties, and show me her pussy just for the aspect of doing so and she had boobs that allowed her to go braless so that came off too.  We made sure we left them laying out in the open.  We would then proceed to a local bar. and in route she would blow me but I would not unload until we had reached out destination, where upon she was to finish her job and keep the results in her mouth.  Then pantiless and mouth full we would proceed into the bar and get a spot and some drinks.  She could not swallow until I gave her the nod which could last as long as thirty minutes.  We would then proceed to enjoy the evening with her being positioned in unique ways, many times showing full view to patrons and we were usually quite popular and almost all evening were quite social.  As she put it, she felt safe with me to do this, and the arousal of what she was doing was overwhelming to her.  We made it a point to fuck in the bathroom of EVERY bar in driving distance (and we did), usually towards closing time.  This did nothing to slow her down and we had many nights were the most difficult thing was driving home with her trying to fuck me while driving cause she was loosing all control.  By the time we were back home she was nude before she made it up the stairs and well you can figure out the rest.

So what is my point here.  Many points.

1. She was the best submissive I have ever known.

2. She was willing to try new things and discovered a whole new way of life (I bet to this day that woman still doesnt wear underwear !!!)

3. exhibition is powerfull

4. Arousal is VERY powerfull

5. Relaxed, a few drinks, smiles, fun, and kink can all work together in harmony.

6. Time, patience, and build up have more power than most would imagine or realize

7. I made that woman's pussy hum and leak more in a simply trip to the bar than most men could do in a fully equipped playroom with powertoys.

8. We had fun!!!  let me say that again. . .WE HAD FUN!!!!  we smiled, we laughed we enjoyed we were horny and we had fun.  For our night out we lived more than most ever do.  And we did it every other week for 2 years.  Like I said we fucked in EVERY bar in driving distance.

9. Working with the unknowns and stepping out of our security blanket WORKED.  I would compare it to a woman being nude with a blindfold on, tied up nude, legs spread wide and hearing men walking in and discussing her.  Overhearing what they said and realizing her pussy was wide open and not being able to help but drip as the unknown coming her way.  The longer you make her wait. . .. the more she is screaming in her mind that she hopes it starts soon. (you either get this or you dont)

10.Uncomplicated.  She was drama free, no problems, never a complaint, never any negative issues, and never anything but pleasant.  GOD how I miss this wonderfull woman.

To answer your question, she had to move to TN due to her job.  She was as close to the perfect submissive as I have ever found.  Her arousal was the most powerful aspect to me.  It PLEASED me to no end.  She had the right mix of aspects.  So I have looked back on her to think of what I would enjoy in a submissive.  I would not want that exact situation again, but I would want that mind again.

So that last post caused me to think about another woman I know.  She is an addicted cock whore to say the least.  One of those rare women who simply cannot suck dick enough.  I am truely a male who has known what it is like to be blown literally non stop for several days.  And I do mean, dick out, in her mouth non stop being sucked until I unloaded and immediately on to the next session.  Quite a wonderfull submissive with a one track mind.  I cannot sit her and tell you i didn't like it.  Over two years whenever we could I would let her enjoy her past time.  So why I am bringing it up as a result of the last post?  I think of her more like a good couch.  Something you enjoy spending time on to relax.  It has one basic function and for a nightly relaxation option you just can't beat it.  Problem is, as much as I appreciate a good couch, I don't care to sit in it 24hrs a day not moving.  I would call this lack of variety.  For all the wonderfull aspect (singlular) that she is, the balance and mix are wrong for what I want.  Yes ladies, I am using a personal cock sucking machine of a woman as an example of what I don't want.  Bet you all are calling me a hell of a lier about now and think I am full of shit. . I know.  Let me address that and move on.  I don't dislike it, only need more variety.  There is a lot to be said for expression of submission by way of constant oral servitude.  But fucking, sucking dick etc are merely and think about this seriously, vanilla physical acts.  I am not vanilla.  Kink is a lot of mental aspects.  A blowjob is not kinky.  Sitting in your bedroom, doors closed giving head is a vanilla act.  Now granted non stop head is not vanilla.  But it lacks creativity.  That is why blowjobs in the park, and in the car, and stepping out of the bar to go out back in the alley in the dark are sooo damn fun.  It has EVERYTHING to do with how, where, under what circumstances etc.  It's picking your moments. It's breaking the rules.  I guess the point I am trying to make in this post is that creativity, a enjoyment of putting a kinky twist in what most never would consider, about making day to day things far more interesting because of timing is more a desired quality to quantity or willingness only in private times before bed.

I think I will take this whole discussion and remember it as:  She needs to be uniquely fun loving in her daily aspects with an appreciations for putting a kinky twist on it.  A desire to put sexual kink twists on whatever she can for a smile and a bit of arousal. 

That just triggered my next post. . .stay with me folks.

So I woke up this morning with more thoughts that seemed to have processed overnight in my subcounscoious and jumped to my active thinking first thing.

I have had women that want to fuck all the time.  You know the type, just want to stop, lay back, spread their legs and get fucked three or four times a day.  Didn't like them too much.  It was just more vanilla.  I was just a fuck mule.  No arrousal just fuck.  And thought about this and asked well hhmm why?  Why wouldn't we like that.  Isn't that really at the heart of what most women really want?  Probably?  Maybe?  It does seem to be one of their key wants next to shopping and shoes.  Oh wait, unless they are busy, or not in the mood oh yeah, then its not "appropriete".  Ah. . .the lack of control is most likely what bugs me  My very nature doesn't repond well to being the expected fuck mule performance boy at the timing she demands.  Ahhhhh.  Well that makes sense.  It simple goes across my very grain.  What else?  oh it gets old and it is still vanilla.  Something else. . . .what is it. . .oh the lack of build up and arousal.  You know ladies. . .soft to half mast, half mast to full. . .balls get the word to start building cum . . .must wait for balls to fill to make for a proper orgasm oh yeah.  Poor orgasms for me.  Orgasm yes but a very low quality poor one.  Well what would I do with a woman like that?  My version would be a fuckingmachine and let her burn it up.  Watching her abuse that pussy with that machine would certainly build up quite well.  I could relax and enjoy it like show, maybe have a beer and smile.  Maybe during her break nut in that sloppy open hole to give her some lube for round 8.  Why does this seem so much better?  hhmm.  oh wait. . .thats right it's not vanilla now.  Imagine that!   I really think I am on to something here

I should be in bed.  I am quite tired.  I just had this thought.

Shopping for sub woman has to be the closest thing a man can do to understand a woman shopping for shoes.  

Wouldn't be nice if we could have 200 of them?

Dear god scratch that, one is enough!

Final random thought of the night: (triggered by something I just read)

YOU are seeking tall, dark, handsome, built like a football player, movie star looks, 12inch cock, super wealthy, stamina like john henry, friends like john henry, to travel the world and be wined and dined.

no problem.

Just make sure you are the top rated porn star with an actual golden pussy that tastes like bacon wrapped fillet mignon, perfect tits and body, a sister that is just as hot that wants to join in, and more money than opera windrey and willing to provide for every kink known to man.

oh what?  oh now we re-negotiate . . .really. hahhahaha 

Just couldnt help it. . .thanks for reading.

So I work on my profile and found the journal.  After years on here with maybe a total of 4 messages, I figured no one reads this so I can use this to act as a note pad for daily thoughts and re-read them over time and see if I can pull out of them key aspects as I work on what I am looking for. 

Within 48hrs I have had many respond to what was written basically for me, and given me a lot of feedback.  Two in particular stand out and have provided me with some very interesting views on what they see.  Thank you you wonderfull women!

I seem to think things but it isnt until it is applied in conversation that I start to get some clarity.  A lot of tonight was about how to mix the good of normal vanilla and marry it with the non-vanilla.  How to spend time on the couch watching tv would be a good way to put it.  Then it went a bit quite and someone with a screenname like whoreforalltouse checked me out.  Excuse me. . .I have to go see what she is all about hahahaha

It is quite ironic. . . how popular I am with everyone out of reach of me and uncontacted by everyone who is.

So I stopped to get gas and some coffee.  I was pondering what would be the definition of the perfect sub.  Trying to think of the qualities and nature of her.  I was really thinking hard cause I was almost oblivious to the world around me as I pondered.  Would willingness to please be the prime quality?  Would playfullness?  What would fit me so well that I would not want her to ever leave as she completed me so well.  In for coffee, and deep down this line of fundamental thinking on the subject, what were the powerful qualities that . .. whats that?   Man that guys wife is hot.  I wonder if she is kinky.  She looks like she could be.  He seems quite normal.  I wonder if she is a complete freak.  Finish coffee. eyes on her, to the register.  On my way out I was completely lost on my train of thought.

What can I take away from this moment:

1. Eye candy is nice

2. The wondering is fun, but reality is that we will never know her nature.

3. I enjoy being distracted like that

4. That guys wife was hot

5. He may have a hot wife, but we have no idea if he is happy or not.

6. How often have we seen great packaging and no real function. . sigh. . .too often.

7. Eye candy is only a compliment to the nature of the mind driving it.

Analysis:  Who she is, is quite important, packaging is only as good as the quality.  When in doubt, go for higher quality who and less packaging.

So today I spent thinking about the big picutre instead of day to day, which is what I was reminded about.  Since my last sub I have not really taken any active steps for another nor had I really thought actively about it (but as you all know it never goes away).

My thoughts came from randoms things like lightning bolts and were not really a flow of one idea to the next.  It went soemthing like this.

I am now into my early 40's, my life is different, my priorities are different, but my ability to really enjoy is about now.  The job and career are set, I have the ability to do things now that I couldnt even consider before and without a good submissive it just isn't compelte, fix it.  Vanilla marriages suck because no wife gives head, and even if she has great tits she always hides them,  and kinky to her is leaving her shoes on.  No wonder her man is dead to her and cheats.  Would I rather have her topless or something so sheer that she might as well and man I like how boobs move.  oh big picture. . what would my early 40's consider a good submissive?  Not some 20yr old, she would drive me insane, maybe rent her for the evening just for that young body. . .well she might talk and just kill the fantasy sigh. . .oh early 40's  Maybe a walk down by the river and find a nice spot with a bench . . .she would like that and I could check her oil cause she isnt wearing panties.  That would be nice.  Its summer, maybe  a ride on the motorcycle . . hhhm. . .I wonder if a small dildo and the vibrations would make a wet seat in twenty minutes.  She would need to be a more refined sub, elegant in her way, but still enjoys life.  If we went camping she could stay nude and we could bath in the river. . .damn bugs!! shit.  We would need to shop for that women stuff that makes them smelll so good and find one that is unique and fits her.  Someone easy, and laid back and gets along in any situation well.  Someone how likes arousal and enjoys it would be nice.  Nothing beats being horny all the time actually.  No wonder those vanilla married people are so angry and bitter.  Would I want a really sexy woman everyone looks at and hope she is true to me or a librarian that is ten times more kinky than the one everyone is looking at?  I wonder if any of them realize the power of a blowjob a day and show me your boobs or will I need to teach her that too?

Folks this goes on non stop.  If you ever wonder just what the hell a man is thinking . .. re-read this.  I actually go to a grocery store or a mall and if a woman is worth looking at, then I am visualizing what she looks like nude in detail and do so without any concious effort. . .it really just comes naturally. . . .god I hate bras.

So go ahead ask me what I am looking for.  At least now you will understand a bit more why it doesnt seem to sound right.

I was trying to finish up the profile and a few things happened and reminded me that a lot of my profile seemed a bit soft.  I don't want to scare off the less then full blown however. . .

Bigger dildos are always better than small ones.

More dildos are alwasy better than less.

Big clits, big lips and big pussy in all aspects is better than small

Loose is always better than tight. 

I dont mind slopply floppy titties at all. . .I love the movement.

A woman that doesnt mind a bed post, a stick shift or a road cone is good in my book.

I would rather have a woman that perfers a gallon of cum then one that doesnt care for a single load.

I would rather have a woman that loves a fucking machine and sleep with dildos in than one that says "I only perfer the real thing"

And manage this all without anyone really being the wiser. .. . now that is a good girl.

(note this was to point out more is better, and naughty is great. )

I hope this helps those that have been asking. . . .

So it took less than 30 minutes to get several women emailing me about my updates, so obviously I am kicking myself for not doing so sooner.  I was asked why I didnt put down what I was looking for, kinks, and desires.  I thought this a good question and thought it deserved a good answer.

1.  I would like to communicate with a women, not have her read a billboard.  I am a person not a page.

2.  I like to see what she asks.  And more importanly. . .what she doesn't.

3.  It is the best part of the discussion, why give it out and avoid the discussion?

4.  And mostly, I don't care to provide a check list and have someone find a item they dont like and not bother further with it.  The perfect match is not expected . . .there are 400 billion flavors of kink and most seem to look only for their flavor.

If we were trying to meet up in 2hrs and have 4hrs of play and call it good then the billboard is a good idea. . . .

I am looking for something a bit longer than that.  If you don't take the time. . . I have the patience.

I come to the table with a hell of career, have a nice car, live in a nice house, have no criminal record, no bill collectors beating on my door, no baggage, no luggage, and no drama to deal with.

I have pulled one sub mom out of a nightmare and into good housing and a good job and set her up on her feet.  Another I have helped put through nursing school.

And these were not even keepers. . . imagine what I can do for the one I do keep.

So this is the 50% of "us" I bring to the table.

Please. . . take a moment and tell me about your 50%.

After reading through a lot of profiles I realized some did well and others not so well about comminicating interests, ideas, etc, adn realized I was not.  I thought I would start fixing that.  Made me think about what it was that I was looking for.

I only really know two things for sure.

The right attitude seems to be the key item above all else.  No matter how attractive or sexy a woman is. . . nothing can ruin appeal faster than a bad attitude.  Appeal is so much of WHO you are . . .not what you are wrapped in.

 The second thing for sure. . .is she needs to blend in public and appear normal.  Even if she is pantiless or with a toy in or has something most women don't in her mouth hahahah.  The outside world she see her as just another person and be oblivious.

I don't know how much more I will define.  I am not willing to be like many who define who they are looking for down to the shoe size and income level.