old profile.. as of may 03 2011
its been about seven months sicne i broke up with my co dominant monaleasha and left that poly house environment of 6 years behind
its been two years since i left the only home ive ever really known (new york city)
its been almost 20 years since i became a TRUE 24/7 extreme no limits dominant in training.. 20 years since i left vanilla behidn (and became open every moment to public private.. friends coworkers.. (although i am flawless at the george clooney the denzel.. the perfect mask of normality and intelligent alpha male success.. with suit or all gothed out.. thugnificent or austere
number of years of livein apprenticeship as a tpe ownership poly dominant: 6
number of years ive lived from income 100 percent derived from the lifestyle?: 13
ill tell you a secret... once i want you i always will be open to owning you.. never let a single person go.. dont even know how to do that to be honest.
second secret.. anyone who wants me can have me.. i dont discriminate.. whomever decides or knows inside that they crave to be owned by me.. my door awaits them
choose whom you will as owner.. and that message that blueprint that dream you used to crave becoming.. will be delted unread.. unless you choose wisely.. where are His works her works this Owner you seek...? i say the same so wait for a wise chooser.
i used to leave the site for a while.. make a new profile.. all ofthat.. instead of that i think il go for ... writign whatever i want.. no mattrer hwo whiny true or .. whatever the heck... the idea is for us to be searchign for someone we already know.. to a cetain extent... so hey .. my ride will know its me right?
i prefer chat to email to someone ive never spoken too.. if i dont know you and its a long email, im uncomfortable.. at least send one back.. even to say fuckoff..
you see the problem with beign a reality hacker.. or in fact the best.. is that its all about numbers.. you choose somethign you wish altered in your reality or another person's .. and you do it..
how effective is your style at it? me.. im a jeet kune do sort.. ive taken all the reality warping techniques ive learned from all over the world and made my own style..
one that drops the subtle manipulative tactics and lies of machiavellian techniques.. drops much of the hypocricy and melodrama of ayn rand.. and eliminates the lack of romance that can often be found in "the secret" and "art of war" or "book of five rings"
i suppose the fault lies in how i came across what i am .. what i do.. my first role model was loki.. strapped to the boulder snake venom tearing apart hsi insides.. and yet his wife.. eternally there to deflect the pain
my secodn role model was mansa musa.. pavign the streets from west africa to egypt with gold thrown from carriages along the way.. benefactor of timbuktu a lirbrary beyond the likes of alexandria
nietzche and marquis de sade.. much like machiavelli.. wrote of things they had no direct experience with.. romanticized views of the best way to transcend human, social, or scientific limitations
trial and error.. the former hacker known to his friends as grendel or grendel28.. my specialty in the days before the internet.. ironically in the face of google maps.. was military satellites and birds eye views of earth.. i enjoyed controlling the angles of the mirrors..
social engineering wasnt exactly my thing.. i hunted hunters.. even as a young wargamer.. in this case i foudn a small team of army engineers.. their job was to find security holes in every new operating system and path.. and i isimply went to their library.. voila
so really.. and like most parts of my life.. my technique made winnign much too effortless.. removed so much of the struggle... i eventually walked through the various doors between social classes the way i walked through server firewalls..
i hunted hunters.. and in between i spent my time with scientists with researchers.. who researched the hunters of hunters
i started with encyclopedias.. and as a young genius especially an impoverished one (relative) .. i had easy access to any scientist i wanted.. especially little old 11 year old me and their doctorate level research
but mostly.. it was the books.. by the time i understood them my favorite scients were gone.. except isaac bonewitz ... and one day im gonan hunt down barbara walker.. but it can wait
the first day he taught me what you i suppose call magick (but to me no different than all the other focusing and reality shaping techniques, including six sigma or martial arts yoga or any self help hubblebub) i asked about demons.. i asked about evil
and yet.. each part fo the universe plays its part, he said. if you coudl go back in time and kill hitler.. the world we live in woudl be gone.. and who knows what we would lose
demons.. like all parts of creation.. are under control of fate of the universe itself. playing their part
they have much in common with lions. either one if you let it in your door.. it will devour you. that is its nature. except is the lion evil when it eats you in that case?
depraved souless and yet an infinite energy.. a dark star.. thats me.. every talent every science i have at my command a lifetime of just that .. beyodn training.. you live and i hunt.. life
i amno demon ro angel but compared to all of you i may not as well be even human.. i suppose you coudl say i study artifical intelligence (which i have studied quite extensively from .. gosh i guess aroudn 1984? my favorite piece of AI? The Internet Worm.. circa 1990s.. Robert Tappan Morris Jr (is that his middle name)
I studied it for hours and hours.. in a dark library at the university of buffalo.. so elegant and yet it had a basic flaw.... it was too greedy... it didnt know how to take a break.. so when it went to war with its reality it replicated itself MUCH too many times.. soon all internet traffic in the world WAS the worm itself
i happened to be a cognitive science major at the time.. i wrote a coupel papers and studied many.. i left right in the middle of writign oen about how the use of language itself slows down the human ability to problem solve a factor of somewhere between ten and 1000 times
it was the year i learned that teh female nervous system is literally a bit more complex than teh male. did you knwo that during multiple orgasm a woman has the same level of left right brain hemisphere synchronization as a male who has studied yogic meditation for 15 years?
after such, their cognitive abilities and even their immune system are more efficient, more successful.. operate better
did you know that almost everyone agrees that humans have existed for at least 200,000 years in their modern form ... (not counting christians and judeos who say that the "modern" form of man is only 6000 years old).. during that whole time.. it wasnt until Buddha (and a few hundred years later, Christ) that humans believed it was even POSSIBLE to actually become Awake (experience Nirvana, develop awareness, touch the mind of God) as a single individual
before that relatively recent point in time (no matter by which calender you count time), it was simply ACCEPTED that true awakening coudl only happen with the union fo a dominant/male and a sub/female (yes it was a bit sexist back then i suppose.. but the sexes and manifestations can sometiems be switched.. often in fact depending on how you view it.. hera was definitely dominant over sneaking aroudn Zeus, for example)
In any event... Alchemists are what we now call the ones who sought out the secret.. The Philosopher's Stone, the Holy Grail, the Elixer, The Great Work.. whatever name you wish to call that perfect union of opposites.. to the point where they are no longer opposites but connected as one thing.
One part an extension fo another. A symbiosis.
You wouldnt believe how many submissives tell me I am artsy fartsy. Why, because I think that by far teh most complex element of existence, to us humans.. in reality.. That infinite space between people.... IS somethign that I don't approach liek a weekend at the strip club?
Sorry I am about POWER. I collect it, I use it to obtain more. And if I am really lucky, i can eventually in a few decades have enough to answer some of those lingering questions. An intellect that is sculpted instead of shaped by experience alone like water carves a riverbed.. That is what I call an artificial intelligence. You need not have a computer to be able to expres and explore design of consiousness. In fact, quite the opposite.
The lifestyle, as some call that journey, allows for rebirth and transformation in ways nothing else allows. It allows us to supplement or even transcend/repalce tradtional religion. it allows us a window to see our own imperfections in ways that are impossible any other way.
Most of all it allows us to amplify our time and energy by existing FOR another. WIth another in ways that transcend normal dialogue. Is this too much to rite in a profile that is supposed to allow someone to choose to give their potential eternity to me?
why should i apologize for not carign about your silly choices betwene white dominants or black, male or female, old guard (actually a gay social group from nazi era germany, but whose counting.. REAL Old Guard would be.. i dunno.. Dionysian Mysteries perhaps? Or at least Wicca..geez..
I have studied pretty much every religious book we have. The Kalwell except the asian one, he stayed cool til the end.. by teh way.. ironic right?)
you s ee i have three choices in this life:
1 - I can hope some other girl or guy decides to do the near impossible work of self transforming into their own idealized arhcetype or some other one i find as fascinating which relates to taht space between people (michael jackson., madonna, prince, all tried and then gave up do the loss of ego required... for the DOMINANT .. who must become even more of a blank slate than any slave ever could... the price of idealism manifest)
2 - I can assuem it wont happen in my lifetime and wait for death so that maybe in the next life I can live in a world with at least one person I can truly look up to on my own terms as an idealist.
3 - I can become the ideal inmy mind's eye or die trying.....
Here I am.. the last thing I crave (well immortality would be nice.. after a lifetime hunting the immortal) to posess .. you see
thats the thing
i dotn know who she is .. not a clue... you s ee i never expected to be who i am now.. i expected to FIND ..... him.. maybe torture him.. get his secrets... and then the sinkign feeling in my stomach over the years as they climbed by.. as bridges were burned.. as my humanity was slipping away ....
he doesnt exist.. yet... hdiing from himself a mobius curve... what hasnt yet been born and what was always here.. self awareness.. the inverse of the creation of AI..
a loop so simple.. a very intelligent designer made our complex system of chutes and ladders... you think your huntign the mundane shadow.. and you hunt the most commonplace spec of light without even realizing it
one face two masks .. and yet as we dance.. the fingerprints upon creation dont point to an alien.. the sarcastic sadism of the tapestry and fabric of our tale points to one of the damn apes.. to one of us
ruthless power mad and vengeful to the extreme.. this Id fears nothign but ... himself.. unborn hiding in the timestream
waitign for an apocalypose.. an unveiling of a secret to not only few but one.. hiding from himself.. both beast and lion
these are the compelxities as a researcher that criss cross my notepad as i search for a second set of eyes to peer into art and science for me.. echolocation of a formula through your screams.. time spent calculating a cock down your throat
i expect noone to understand a hint fo this rabble.... and thats how i feel when the common folk assume its possible for the untrained to literally devour all that they are .. all that they have ever been.. all that they could become
a collection of toys the desire to feel pain.. hiding in a dungeon cannot buy these things.. always there remins a part fo you there.. always there remains either a spark of what you once were.. or the clumsy hammering upon your awareness from the possible.. and you remain a husk without the flame of Self
i am neither sugeons scalpel on every finger.. rows of teeth awaitign sharklike to regrow.. neither proud nor arrogant.. neither sad nor defensive.. simply unique not by anythign other than choice
cycle of destruction of all that ive posessed amassed.. rebuilding.. stripping away.. rebuilding.. cycles no power woudl endure.. the loss so totally thereof.. no wealthy could enjoy..the loss of all wealth
and yet each time a tiny diamond seemed to grow across me.. until now that is all i am..
spinning cutting through this glass wall between us.. ignoring the voices.. sifting silently searching.. one thing left and then 360 degrees of reality matched dream..
what will i ask for on the second circle.. knwoing that everything anythign is possible when the impossible ends here
i used to dream. as a child. that there were witches.. women.. doing what i did.. huntign .. power.. cravign to serve it.. be shaped by it.. and in lack of finding it.. devoted to not the trappings and limitatiosn fo man who trained them.. but somethign higher
and yet.... here i remain six years later.. in that time even more erasing the tiny thread of mathematical possibility that there is even another remotely similar.. or closer to that shifting archetyupe i copied from the dreams and nightmares of the fairer sx.. across the millenia
they dreamt of i suppose their master.. mistress goddess.. universal ideas that in fact become roadmaps detailed descriptions of necessary experiences to posess certain talents
this profile now to dissuade... always it seems i assume the very sex i call superior is inferior.. the very lust i call rtuhless and absoulte limited and feeble..
no more i hope... this profile is me saying.. yes.. some part fo me believes that i have a match there is a female on this planet somewhere that not only says they exposuse that search for a very specific One.. not only do they crave to belong to only taht One..
But i decide to have faith.. that there is a woman out there who has the focus to search.. to recognize.. to know.. to perceive.. to at all means and in any method needed.. posess or be posessed by the One
the only One on earth.,. that has the power to be the Owner they dreamt of. to be the Owner they imagined.. to take them exactly sentence by sentence and word by word into their dreams...
Humans.. pathetic in that in all these centuries they say they crave the same thing.. And here at teh height of human novelty the height of technology..when they can have literally ANYTHING.. they settle for everything.. for nothing..
the finer points of their dreams discarded.. eahc one their own Rumsfeld .. each one their own beancounter
BE that thing you crave to become.. if it be less or more than human.. if it be depraved and dark or it be constant as each hertbeat filled with lust
BE THAT word for word.. settle not or be another bar of my prison.. i who settle not.. simply because SOMEONE has to do this.. or else we live not in real but dream
i do not live in a porno..i live in reality.. that one i see written across these pages that has appeared in no book no film no comic no art..
they exist.... or what i die dreamign fo them without ever knowing.. living in the 20th century for no reason?i maight as well have been born 10,000 years ahgoif i have to be entertained by teh same mortal male and female limitations.. peopel unwiling to sacrifice themSELVES to manifest an ideal
one whsoe story i woudl read.. without boredom.. even though i be scared and ashamed at times.. the derpravity.. evcen at timesi am saddened by the sappiness of that infinite compassion infionite love.. disgusting self sacrifice and melodrama
still...
and now.. the story to wash it out with,.. of a depraved slut who craved to be forced to live her dirty dreams onwed by the cock the clit they craved forever.. the one that will never let them go
wheres her story.. a million of you out there.. but i want to read a very specific one.. the one whose Owners name begins with...
by now the weak willed will have gone away.. only you and i remain.. are you one of us or one of them?
i am interested in total complete ownership... i dont need it to happen overnight.. but i want to start that lopng journey .. knowing it will change us both forver into something that fits.. the dreams of one another
i am relentless i am ruthless i am a will that doesnt ever.. ever break or bend.. and trhats teh one thing i want in life.. the one thing ive spent a lifetime studying.. exploring and living.. experiencing.. makign my share of mistakes.. but each time with flawless INTENT
i did not train myself as much as i was trained... by domiannts and submissives by slaves and life.. since i was young
to date i have rarely met a slave (the onesi did were in asia) whose dedication to an ideal matched my own.. i look at extreme slaves and feel shamed.. knowing i am more completely controlled by the urge to Own the one i seek...
i dont mean trained for sex.. i dont mean seeking that. alone. (although i am very sensual.. big black cocked beast. always hungry... if it serves me..) i mean trained to learn about the mental the psychological elements.. objectification, conditioning, deconditioning, programming, awareness....
and yeah ive spent more than a few thousand hours in class .. for the whip the clit.. the hand the blade the rope.. and double that in practise.... btu at teh end of the day ownership is its own reward
and that is what i was born for. what i have no limits in.. and i seek a woman who craves the deepest connection two humans can have.. slowly purposefully.. and in every way on every level.. over the decades
One who wishes to be an extension of her Masters will for him to be an extension a manifestation fo her own lust as if tailor made. thats what i want and it is almost impossible to achieve in truth.. beyoidn the melodrama
yeah it doesnt hurt that tellign that story would be a nice financial boon in this recession.. and i have had experience getting paid JUST to explore the lkimits of my submissives.. just to train a gorgeous girl to become a DOmme who dominantes all she comes across in the name of her Master
but i crave to own for life.. to guide a mind through the depths fo its own subspace inducing dreams.. to see through thjose dark feminine corners with her own eyes as the lens... and paint what i see write it dowen for others to learn from.. even the stumbles
if you want no strings or short term.. i can do that.. but idrather die by having my heart ripped out with a rusty spoon than have a less than lifetime relationship.. if its up to me..
i love terrance mckenna and josph campbell but my favorite scientist is barbara walker i respect many dominants but cant find any in present or past that i look up to for more than guidance in what direction to go into and what not to do
i DO have an ideal dominant in mind but i havent become them yet.. my roadmap is your dreams.. obviously.. just as how it takes a great dominant to shappe you into the idealized perfect slut perfect sub perfect slave on every level.. get it?
according to some of the science geeks im the most talented brain ever... i told them that men record history so it misses 99 percent of everythin.. seriously.. that has made life beyond unbearable for me.. and made quite a shambles of my attempt to choose a choose career path.. luckily its something that fits with exploring the dominant i am becoming ..
i am not arrogant about my talent or intellect.. always burdened by the impossibly long list of things i havent done yet .. to explore what i want to know more about...
within pandoras jar within you all sister subs slaves and dommes... there are the secrets of teh universe.. and deep down at the bottom.. where so few can even glimpse.. is teh secret the sensation the place the picture the state of mind the creature so many talk about but nowehere in the net is it depicted
i want to shape you into that evolving.. strange yet oh so focused alive being you crave to be.,. i want to be shaped by that process like a sword is sharpened by the stone
a perfect love a perfect bodn a perfect union a perfect ownership two beings symbiotically linked until only one remains.. and their extension.. growing still
every child dreams and when they reach their dreams they are truly a master
all this world is my playtoy because i suffered much lost it all for that power
all sve one.. to Own you for life. to own the dreamer of this scarred and beautiful life ive lived
so toss me an email.. even to say fuck off.. let me know or i will keep pushing.. that being you describe in our profiles doesnt exist.. andi spent a lifetime hunting him.. the more you say you seek him or her the more i am drawn to you
or show them to me if your so blind so arogant so hellbent on proving me wrong.. and while your at it by the way announce it to th world.. cause as a race we havent seen a creature like that since ... find your grigorian calendar homie
lol
i have a curiosity that never ends.. my best trait.. my worst .. curiosity black hole instead of soul.. burning from within.. the part of me that forces me to be dominant.. one could say i am owned by it.. and want to pass it on..
i suppose im on this site because even though it isnt the best.. i think the person im looking for would definitley be stuck looking here to find someone like me eventually
camping i guess they call it.. stalking.. perhaps.. not a person but more an ideal.. an idealist?
so tird though.. tempted to take the gorgeosu young subbies i can get in real life.. and yet.. so much cheating. i want to find someone that has at least made as much effort to find her ideal as i have .. i ant someone i can relate to..
someoen that has an idea what they want.. clearly.. even if the how it looks may not be so clear
i ant to tell stories.. not about my own extreme past (which is cool too) but about that journey going forward with the ones i find
il keep adding to this already too long profile (what folks tell me) because i want tro be as open as i can be.. even if it isnt attractive.. i dont want someone that chooses their dominant based on attractivenes.s. NOPE not even mentally
but someoen that chooses their owner based on taht Owner's capabilityat takign them where they dream to go.. as a person.. for the next 40 years or more..
period.. even if that means teachign them to hunt partners.. shaping them into perfect mindless bimbos.. or awakenign their intellect and spirituality .. or dehumanizing them
im open and have a wide range of experiences in the last two decades of fulltime... non vanilla is best way i can describe it.. i was honest all the time and never settled for myself or in egting what i want.. ill admit most of my life has been sort of like paint by numbers .. pickign the most intense subbie dreams and making them happen...
but hey.. i enjoyed it immensely and in so many ways.. became much more powerful than if i had done the reverse... seeking lifetime preferably poly.... and yeah im an artist and a painter.. so i love beauty i must sy.. its in the eye of the beholder.. and guess what i dont create art for myself.
dominants must be like fingerprints.. like snowflakes.. no two the sam in a way. because so many search for exactly their perfect one.. and never seem to find them.. and so many find one they are absolutely certain is the perfect one for them
i only want submissives or slaves that are looking for exactly me.. it may take them a long time tor ecognize me for who i am perhaps.. to see past the material.. past the SURFACE.. and see simply the unique parts of me that are capable of steering them towards that destination illustrated in their profiles.. down the dark walkways of their dreams or nightmares even
i dont just want whoever i can get.. not at all.. or else id have left this site long ago.. never would have been on it.. ive spent a lifetime making myself unique. i sawe a gap in the fabric of humanity and filled it with myself. out of curiosity.. out of intrigue
bits and peices of what i am today are based on scraps of map and roadmap i picked up from women like the ones i now sift through.. i am my own cinderella slipper perhaps
im not perfect.. notwithotu flaws.. so intentional are my many flaws.. temporary systems shut down to conserve energy to conserve power.. and use more of it to find you.. more of it to be sure i can take you where you wish
that destination in your head is where i want to go.. with you as my camera lens recording those pieces fo subspace and ecstacy no dominant can experience.. but stil li can be forged in the sparks we create .. you against my grindstone polishedinto steel .. design already waiting hiding in your brain
this profile just one large snowflake .... a picture an unstructured slice of something... if all dominants are like snowflakes. no matter what this snowflake looks like... the one who knows exactly what they want.. knows the soul fo their Owner.. will recognizeit... right?
well until the next major profile rewrite.. that will have to do....
i am only a machine for making flesh of dream.. i want to find my limits of reality be a thing to bend.. i seek one who craves to be owned by their own wishes literally to the letter and with no settling
i want to do everything not on your limit list one by one.. all the time.. deliberately.. slowly.. exploring your capacities for pleasure pain and self transformation
an artist who is blind to everything but the One thing.. that hr giger chaos we call ... desire.. for some or many.. definitely One.. a meaning of life .. a spark that never dies
i want the exploration of that space between sub and dom.. reality just a stage.. is what i seek to do fulltime.. religion science life art and business all in one.
my dream to get paid to write and paint and do photography about that journey of exploration.. one kink one psychological or emotional awareness shift at a time on the way to tpe.. on the way to what i live.. every moment aware focused sculptured thought floating in the ether
a deeper story of o in modern words in poetry with paintings.. a non fiction exploration and journal to go along with it.. a social networking site.. some fictional stories and a virtual world..i do animation and video directing/editing as well (my art is profile pic)
i call it "project pandora" and its the beethovens fifth i imagined from when i was do young.. over the years mastering each piece of its production.. sharpening my art in every medium.. just my skill really
the art is truly devouring a life.. with its own dreams and nightmares meticulously manifested with your own flesh and mind.. and the world your numb nonexistent canvas.. a defeated collaborator the picture is painted upon using the mind body and soul of the sub as lens to stare through the expanse of subspace infused reality
i have had my limits worn away over the decades of having extreme slaves fulltime since i was 19. i was in a relationship with a gorgeous domme for six years and during that time she was trained as i was, and owned those in the house. i met her one day and as usual i made her live some of her dreams.. hers happened to be (first time ever) "i want to be like you.. i want to become a dominant and learn about ownership" i have had many masters and teachers but the second gen dominant who trained me for six years didnt evcen let me OWN a slave until year five.
i am not gorean.. but i respect and study about many forms of bdsm structure and philosophy from gorean to female dominant wiccan and everything in between. i study history extensively and have since i was four at the rate of several dozen pages per day (30 something years). the way einstein was curious about the spaces between atoms between matter in the universe. i have been since i can remember about the connections and spaces between people.
just as serious .. pushing just as far.. ownership is the closest journey two humans can make. a t one time it was felt that true awareness or enlightenment could ONLY come from that union..
buddha changed that very recently in terms of human history. jesus came later but what if the old ways are the right ones .. subspace and many other states of mind states of pleasure require partners to achieve..
and even if not.. that journey if packaged and depicted properly would make lots of money. id rather use and train and cherish mold shape my sub for money than do any other business and do that as a "part time" thing.
call me old school. call me curious about the result of unleashing the darkest dreams of two or more extreme humans in unison seeing what happens when life imitates not art but the urges underneath art
i am my own space mokey.. thrown out into space for the greater good. curious to see what happens if i was to own the sort of women i only read about as a kid. if i was that sort of dominant who could own the extreme slave sluts and make them living their dreams. i never met that guy.. and i cant read his books or watch his movies.. so im curious to find him in your choice to be my slave.
there is no fight club there is me and my brothers silently slinking through your world .. dreams made flesh with all the strife and pain that comes along with that sort of effort against the grain.. adored at times villainized at times objectified.. just the villain the beast the angel some dream and exploited just as much by some by many perhaps by all in a way
i wont lie.. i want to do a nice blog a few art projects and a few other things an retire to a cush little farm somewhere.. island living sounds nicei miss getting paid to live life.. to write about fucking using taking breaking and exploring those bits of spirit and choice that lie deep inside
a little more to hope the fakes are dissuaded
were in a recession.. as a journalist of the darker spaces of life i feel the economic crunch. this search for an extreme sub or slave to join me went from an expected couple months to four five six years on this site
in that time ive stayed 24/7 but more focused more sharp.. pushing my mind my beliefs challenging my thoughts about focus, devotion, lifetime, all those things. studying you all and eliminating the parts of myself and my life that were not streammline pushing me further into an ideal a purity of an ideal in life
each moment i am an ambassador of no limit living.. of being your own little monster.. lying is like smoking and i enjoyed totally giving it up unless: 1- it is necessary to avoid jail 2 - it is necessary to avoid death
other than that honesty to myself to my dreams.. despite the pain.. to others even if oh so precise.... ohhhh so precise
im still working on it.. were all trained from birth to be full of shit. to fit in. to need or want something enough to put on a false front. to not know exactly what we want most. but in this time every day i am here reading profiles i am polishing buffing away that vanilla self.. taking the discipline of my sexuality and applying it to the mask of normality you need to have when your goals are extreme and have been for so long. in the middle of a recession my business
living in new york city when i started my dominant apprenticeship, i was fascinated by the lesbian dommes and the transsexuals. they were so fierce so extreme so devoted to the deeper mental elements of truly INHABITING an ideal.. they had no choice
i was friends with male dominants as well.. but their focus to ownership was more one sided.. they owned women and subs and slaves yes.. but unlike the other dominants, they were not OWNED.. it didnt control THEIR own habits lifestyle moment thoughts the same way.. they were not striving to become an ideal for WHO they owned or who they were yet to own.. they simply hunted and kept what they caught.. til they wanted better different or more
strangely enough most of my former subs and slaves were female dommes before they were with me.. or dominants in some way.. i was used to being the exception to their relationship rules
i honored their choice.. to break not only societal norms to be mine.. but their own norms and judgements to take a chance on me giving them some of the dreams and sensations and experiences they never were able to express, explore, figure out, or find
i learned from them more and more how to be better.. how to focus my desire, my words, my spirit to match their ideas of a dream dominant.. of a dream hunger ro lust .. i was just as judged and held to becoming their fantasy as they were mine .. as if a gorean slave but .. if somehow the rulers of Gor were slaves themselves dictating what should fill the mind of the One they serve.. "a dash of ghenghis khan a bit of a personal trainer a splash of dancer heapings of shark some wolf andd......
i was so alpha male so focused on exploring that heterosexual power and lust that the most alpha alpha males were not really folks i had much in common with.. too watered down.. so i was the straightest nail in a world of so called "freaks".. every subculture i learned from.. seeking those that knew or experienced more than me to learn from constantly.. learning their way of looking at how to express my heterosexulity with as much dedication and focus as they their own alternative nature
ruthless total owning.. of themselves.. of others.. i just didnt take the throw away nature .. i made my share of mistakes but nothing casual.. always a journey of sorts a path that left me more focused a little bit at a time.. learning more about what i want what they want and how to manifest both.. in reality in the flesh
i neded solidarity so as a heterosexual pan style dominant i wondered what it would be like if WE males had that same level of dedication to inhabiting an ideal so much moment to moment that it transformed us into something else
im like that./.. my life tailored til each moment i was shaped more and more into an ideal a cartoon my own little art project.. on a mental level.. choices knowledge experiences..
just as extreme as a transgender from romantic heterosexual to no limit dominant.. strange enough to have no interest in wearing costumes or pretending acting posing scheduling sessions.. primal feral ruthless hungry loving sensual all the time.
its been interesting refraining from taking subs and slaves from the vanilla stock.. always tempting but that was fun.. ultimately not rewarding.
for my writing and art project to work i need someone who dreams to live this has planned it wont settle for less for watered down.
they dont have to know where exactly their going or what they want.. but they have to be committed before i meet them.. to at least a journey.. just not the when who or how
he was a ruthless evil genius who thoroughly deprogrammed me. i havent had more than a few days of vanilla life since then. that was 20 years ago
im comfortable in all environments. i ve lived all over the world. except in places where there are l was, i have lived publicly as a slave owner or lifestyle dominant fulltime since then
my parents know my jobs and employers know and definitely the people on the street who see em occasionally with leashes in public know.
i was a cognitive science major in college. the first one on the east coast to be exact. i have studied the meaning of awareness since as long as i can remember (i read my first three encyclopedia sets when i was 7)
i love every kink i guess. i have boringly trained in most. i have passionately expressed many at home. i have taught yoga tantra and "being a pro dom/me" classes
i have had blogs journals websites forums and professional Dom/me sub service dungeons in my time in various capacities.
my dream is to do a multimedia "story of o" blog about the different activities and progressions in a poly house (i would settle for variations thereof based on limits of whoever captures my bdsm vows/wedding ring)
i think im a juggalo (something i perhaps have always been but have only understood recently) if i had to pick a philosophy (taoist is close second).. to live ones dreams means not only experiencing in reality what you consider an ideal.. it means havign the will and freedomt o experience within your own head.. the thoughts that you wish.. the freedom mentally to epxlore and become something not prescribed .. or not just because its all you have the options to be.
im curious about going past the extreme extremes ive gone in the past. only ownership can change that. im an amazing artist.
as a former gigolo im well trained in the sensual arts and use that precision in sadism, emotional and psychological elements
i am a dom even in the vanilla world. i have been a multi million dollar project manager for over 15 years
ive never bowed to any man and except for NOT finding a sub or slave on this site to own for life .. i have lived all my dreams except (live in egypt for a year, skydive) and those are pretty easy
dreams are my plans. literally
living every dream of my slaves over the years was more impossible than anyone can imagine
i often write for a living.. typos are sort of something i dont care about unless there is money involved. if it really bothers you, let me know and i will send you messages typo free. but i prefer the uncensored honesty that comes with a few of them (due to speed)
ironically i think men are damn near worthless.. the modern ones.. the good ones lie.. the so called dark ones lie.. and with few exceptions (Sir R knows who I mean) they are afraid to live fulltime all the time..
its almost impossibly hard.. to be a no limit dominant.. to shape your Own awareness and life the way you woudl shape a slave's.. but the result i such an interesting creature
i spend most of my free time working on a mythology/bdsm themed mmorpg (and companion art filled encyclopedia) release date dec 22 2012
i do my best to live up to my words no matter how outlandish.. ive been known o dip deeper than words in order to go the opposite direction... i occasionally do a it of everything but im flexible
my dream one dream in life is to write a modern day story of o type journal about an extreme poly house.. i have pledges and vows from a few but i dont own that One i can take to her limits and push past my own... and describe that dark journey in words.
if you have any interest just toss a message.. i am a needle in a haystack seeking same.. please feel free to send if you have interest.. i prefer to reply than seek replies.
i drew any art profile pics myself... sensuality/bdsm first artform traditional media second writing third reality hacking fourth (fear and loathing in las vegas day to day intensity)
primary skill: 24/7
fetishes: living your fantasies to the letter, lifetime ownership, power/focus/devotion
specialties: consensual non-consent, objectification, degredation and subtle sadism physical, mental and psychological, extreme physical, mental, or sociological (public lifetstyle)
most experince: multi-orgasmic sensualism,. kundalini and tantra yoga, fine art, intellectual discourse and romantic love
most unique trait: my personal fetish is skipping the whole dating phase and moving directly to LTR. i seek lifetime only as a preference
i want that one who will serve not online not through chat, but in the flesh
i cant wait til shes in my hands so i can take this profile down
ask me anything and i will tell you
wish i could fit myself into this little box of words
long time in the lifestyle few years poly few years mono.. even few years in a dom/domme house
seeking lifetime know what i want
loves travel, living in different countries
open minded and experienced about most things in the lifestyle
aggressive, primal, love consensual non-consent
bbc haver (ten inches by 2.5 wide.. bigger if more excited)
former yoga magick research practitioner
studied judeo christian and islamic history since age like five.. started studying other religions a few years later
well versed in the dark corners as well as brightly lit offices.. as comfortable with breaking all the rules as i am with enforcing them all
people over 5 and under.. hmmm... lets be nice and say 65/70? are usually complete and utter morons compared to the ones in that range (and both those numbers are highly dependent on the individual)
i care deeply about anyone.. everyone.. love to me is as interesting as physics to einstein. cold, clinical, souless, ruthless, limitless.. these describe me as well.. when it serves that space between sub and dominant.. ironically..
between the fetishes of different long term submissives i have had in the past, theres very little i havent studied deeply, experienced, or understand the science and psychology of with a passion
this is not a game to me.. i dont have time to be a fake.. i have no interest in sharing anyone with another male in a log term situation, so if thats you, youd have to be really amazing
i have been a professional dominant so i am sort of not amazed or excited to chit chat about all the details of what i would do to you on a day to day basis.. plus im dedicated to exploring any and everything that is not on your limit list.. what else will i do with the free time for the rest of my life.. duh!!
asian dominants are the most extreme ones ive seen so far in my world travels.. possibly simply because of the excessive detail their culture pays to minute by minute thoughts/perceptions/awareness of the citizens.. this carries over into bdsm
i dont give a fuck if you never heard of a person that has experienced literally some of the darkest hbo tv show sort of black .. fortune 10 corporation bright and subculture all over the world gray..
im that dude.. i have had many friends that are str8 n###as i have had many friends who are straight (hitler worshipping) racists and i have friends that are literally rocket scientists and geniuses.. its because i have BEEN all of those things
i love power in all its forms.. i spend my free time hunting the powerful.. meeting them.. learning from them what i can.. and sharing whatever i know.. its what ive been doing since i was born.. my parents taught me how to.. and thats really... ALL the interaction ive ever had with my parents from a young age
its not their fault i realized later.. all my siblings had relatively normal childhoods.. so i guess it just means i was hardwired to be a dominant.. i dominated my parents from birth to basically spend any available time they had helping me hunt methods people and knowledge of power.. i suppose that tells you a lot about me.. a childhood not reading comics but DOING the things i read those characters doing.. studying those subjects, meeting those people, havign those experiences..
i was a hacker for many years.. reality eventually became my favorite system to hack into.. this site.. to me.. started as just another system.. a web of people.. a culture.. to get into and move up in
but strangely it has become my achilles heel. all the things that make me unstoppable in person (well.. except when im using the worst foot forward technique to test someones reaction to me at my worst.. lol)do nothing here... no tricks.. simply.. ways one can open oneself and be known deeply intimately.. quickly
that sort of brutal spiritual or energetic honesty doesnt work here..
the intellectuals or the rockers or the goths or the gang bangers or the ones that want a strong pimp hand or a strong conversationalist..
no way to be all those things online..
so... i dunno.. profile.. ten ? eleven?
this one.. ill try to dig deeper.. more to the core of me.. maybe just..talk.. to myself.. and make sure its honest.. without a submissive to explore and study.. maybe i will use this profile to study myself.. my life in the lifestyle..
i dont want to put it in the journal.. to easy to delete it.. maybe i will leave it here in the profile..
just because.. i CAN
and whenever a search a problem an adversary gets as bleak as my search on this site has been.. i simply.. do something.. open.. honest.. and intensely extreme.. just because i CAN.. and usually.. im the only one who can.. so i get the job.. the girl.. defeat the enemy.. solve the problem.. whatever..
this one place.. of all the challenges in this whole reality.. has been the one obstacle i couldnt get by within a month or two at the most..
so.. i will try the most unconventional thing i can think of...
as bruce lee would say.. the art of fighting without fighting.. except.. i will be the guy who rows to the island.. and has a war.. with himself
and pray that in that process... the answer i seek will appear... because nothing else works.. unless i want to compromise myself.. or my beliefs.. or my goals and dreams
and if you do that to GET a submissive.. then whose.. the .. real submissive now?
hardcore nietzcheans.. i respect your upbr
if thats a problem please select another
not into games not into casual not into bs
attractive intelligent creative
wish arronofsky would remake story of O
if he takes too long i wanna film it in the silver screen of printed page
dream to devour everything you have to offer
no boundaries at all but will respect your limits
forever is only a choice away, why do less
what if dom and sub were like the blues brothers
ive hunted along your breadcrumbs since i was a child
where was this One i wondered
searching for him inside of myself.. and staring through your eyes and knowing the spirit inside is focused
the rest.. is easy material fap
the hard stuff is what i desire.. what i explore.. the mental aspects of ownership
any parent knows how to be a true dominant
lets own one another.. because to say it true.. barely death should be all that part ones once a mind is made
i see the rest.. push me as i push you to be the best..
this is the only relationship structure that has an open end
the boundaries is where i wish to dwell
i freestyle i paint i do corporate suit work
i bow to no force but desire
ive always developed a passion for my subs fetishes.. from total objectivity to charmingly loving
ive been a devil pimp a daddy
i seek to know permanence a collar of fingered flesh and neck
ahh i wish the mysteries of subspace hid within the heavens that i could dream to be an astronaut
instead orgasmic depths of mind await through only a collar only that permanence that timelessness can offer me the visions my mind craves to explore
before i was in the lifestyle i studied tantra and street life for many years.. both professionally
then one day suits and submissives.. slaves and sadism became my fulltime
many years later.. time to settle down.. time to rise up to become the dream of what i own instead of the reality i shaped myself into (ironically from bits and pieces fo submissives dreams of their One)
the world is what it is. from art to science i study and practice so much.. the vanilla things i leave to others (dont watch sports dont drink beer dont do the family thing.. unless its a family of rock band musicians homeless while i have a few spare rooms that is..
i took time away from poly living to study relationships and psychology more.. to ensure that if i went that direction later.. i would have more success.
i study other people within the lifestyle as much as i can.. always an eye to the longer term relationships.. a decade or more is best..
a hobby from a young age i suppose.. being the child of divorced parents..
permanence.. family thicker than blood or water.. is what has been my creed.. left home at 19 and never looked back
pleasure was my art for a long time.. teaching..studying.. documenting it..
love has its limits.. and beyond.. the collar.. the vow the bond of dominance..
so here i am..
ask me anything...
i must admit.. all of my submissives (shortest relationship 4 years, longest 7 years.. married to one slave for 6) were from other countries.. so i have little experience with american girls (unless you count lesbian dommes and switches who i strangely enough get along with best of all the gender/orientation combinations and they made up 99 percent of my friends..)
but alas.. i made a vow years ago.. no casual.. no games.. no dating vanilla folk (which to me means a person that can allow a division between reality and dream.. between urge and impetus. its just a shared philosophical system, the choice to explore maximum attention..focus . devotion.. 'dem nice 'tings
too much pain.. crisscrossed dreams.. me holding someone in this world through their love or lust for me instead of a passion for that exploration of their own inner selves with outer flesh..
so since ive been on the site.. its been hard.. i feel like a monk after being hugh hefner for so long (still didnt do casual.. ever.. but i used to seduce vanilla girls into the lifestyle whereas for the sake of longevity, i now exclusively seek relationships with those already IN the lifestyle.. much harder and basically relegating me to online..)
i admit i am an extremist.. 24/7 i never hide.. after a few acting buddies in the old days on new yorks streets i am definitely an exhibitionist.. not to mention an alpha male.. and the smartest person i know of.. to me life is just another system to be hacked.. reality hacking..
the vanilla world is a video game compared to the depth available to those in the lifestyle.. so i play.. i dont hide.. if anything i expose as many normal folsk to the lifestyle as possible.. at the grocery store.. on a leash.. the library.. wherever..
i prefer someone that desires to simply make that break.. and live fulltime.. even if its in normal clothes.. simply.. being honest all the time..
but i can handle the ones that need to hide.. that want that brad pitt successful seeming vanilla mask.. i do that too if i need to.
i was trained by old school doms from a young age.. from a variety of cultures.. i was rigid.. but over the years the philosophy of jeet kune do has sorta modified my approach.. i dont costume and all of those things as much.. but like the qabbala tree.. i inhabit the various states of being of a dominant.. and guide my sub through them as well..
i have a true passion for the deeper intense emotional and physical responses.. a bit of an adrenalin junky.. even if that comes from only talking..
anti posturing and posing.. although i do like preening and pea-cocking.. strange.. the sir stuff is cool but not my thing.. i am strict.. but can be open minded.. i am brutally disciplined.. but can be loving.. i am extreme.. but can enjoy the passion of simply counting out your orgasms.. trying to beat my old record (23 in one day for my partner not using induction or commands/orgasm control)
pleasure pain.. heart mind.. all just colors to paint with for me.. all the same.. and yeah im passionate about the whole range...
if pressed i would say i am extremely talented at detailed sensual sadism and also really talented at just straight sex (the latter due to years of studying or teaching tantra.. the first i suppose from years as a science student and cognitive sci major in college whose area of study was pleasure and its relation to cognitive efficiency)
this is NEVER me making effort to impress you...DUH thats why i usually leave my typos and bad grammar..
i have a fetish for exactly two things after not only a complete adulthood in the lifestyle.. but a childhood spent studying its history.. the mythology and archetypes behind it, and its psychological and physical underpinnings in the traditional male female dynamic (yes my minor in college was women's studies.. the practical outcome of any real nietzchean from my point of view (the one with the greatest power is he or she who comes from the depths to rise above, not that which masters what it already possesses)
i work a lot in fields of computer awareness, artificial intelligence, and security. this made me a fan of two things: mental/child development and bdsm lifestyle conditioning, reconditioning, and self manifestation of long term jungian (ususally experienced in a dream or orgasmic/subspace visions) archetypes through mental observation and control (this is not only traditional slave training but could encompass reading volumes of jalil al din rumi and john donne when exploring vanilla romantic love.. which i did from age 13-22 by the way)
sensuality is an artform.. one that ive explored for a long time.. starting with paint.. moving to clay.. and then i learned about galvanic responses.. adrenalin.. endorphins and states of awareness..
and then to me women were like instruments.. like the violin i once played.. i could make them sing or squeal.. make them fall in blissful love or enjoy their pleasure even as they soak up fear..
later i met extreme masochists and sadistic women.. and learned in person.. whole new levels and complexities..
so... here i am.. an artist looking to create a mona lisa of pleasure and pain dominance and exploration.. your body mind and soul as the canvas.. except this time maybe i will record the journey in words.. to be able to describe that art i do somewhere beyond simply the thoughts and sensations of the submissive (or switch or domme) involved
lifetime.. is what id love to explore alone.. deeper reds darker blacks brighter hues.. all are there waiting
i choose to have a fate.. to know that the very next woman i touch was born to belong to me and i to her.. why not.. life is what we make it.
i can be the hottest and the coldest.. really i simply prefer to find someone that HUNGERS for.. the chance to let go.. and become.. an ideal.. of .. their own favorite journey..
i want someone who wants to know what it means to have that beast that hunger all men have.. the one unsafe to let out like a burning star caged dog inside..
i want to see that One you dream of so bad i can taste it..
if i must give my life to be that beast you crave.. i will and have.. simply to see what it means to devour utterly every part of you .. one of your own dreams at a time.. no matter how sublime or extreme.. the tools the world to make them happen are here in my hands.. waiting
bbc high iq
whatever else .. i need to be to claim your soul.. your choice
i doubt you got this far
if you did
im totally open minded.. i know i want to drive as far and deep as i can.. but only you know which direction that is.. i tried the whole map.. i know the roads.. studied them.. drove down them..
im back hop in bonnie, lets ride
everyone is something
i burn bright soul
but all i am now is a hunger... a craving a burning.. waiting..
a wannabe hunter s thompson of bdsm gonzo journalism waiting to happen
and i do my own photography and web design too
the hidden shadows angels among us
all waiting for the day
each choice we make an action
our fate make more than pray
and for real.. after a lifetime of living this alone.. no vanilla.. just this on big city streets small little spots
the experience of this site is the most vanilla thing ive ever done.. for reals..
real life.. i hunt .. she hunts.. she tastes i taste.. shaped shaped hungry still.. the opposites treat our in common meat.. we recognize a chance to escape the circle.. see power lurking there.. i see .. they see.. we dive we explore.. we choose.. we dont look back
i miss new york...
but i so love the deep dark heat.. how can i not?
pics available upon request
will fill in interests or whatever else you want here b request..
hate writing these things.. wish i could do a profile like a resume instead.. erase the word "i i i i i i i i"
too bad there is no medium switch in my makeup.. no setting for that.. either i am invisible.. humble or hidden.. or i am secure self aware and powerful.. wondering why the medal the prize is not already in my hand.. not because i was born for it but because i died for it.. the prize
we all of us highlander in this world seeking for that life eternal even if only within our own skull.. to become the recipient of our OWN award to ourselves... you are your own hero award.. perhaps..
us.. humans males or maybe just me
screw my parents my mom my church my god.. where is the approval of my SELF
enlightenment through the sword the paintbrush.. always a process.. never a state never a station never a destination but always a journey
left the port of self never to return.. only effort to drive to see to capture all along the way
to those that think "artsy fartsy type with all that poetic words" to those that think im an intellectual just because of a few words.. you obviously dont know many killers.. life and death to be seen in my eyes if you look deep enough..
no turning away no posing allowed..
to those that think a modern dominant should stick to one race, one class, one social class, one intellectual circle, one subculture..
knowledge is power.. and only empathic point of view awareness can give you the knowledge of how to dominate the world around you.. not through brute force.. but through planning.. not through confrontation but through precision
in any event.. ill write more later... just because i can... after four years.. what am i worried? im gonna scare away the ONE with .. my real thoughts real self real history real desires?
ummmm
lying is bad
all i have to say
if you never.. ever lie
and everything you say.. you put your whole LIFE into... to the edge of death
one day you can say something interesting
like
"im going to learn to fly"
and reality will most likely have your back
true story
so talk big dream big.. but be ready to make all the tiny little sacrifices to make it a reality
and if you dont...
i will do it anyways..
dont say it if you dont mean it
dont be afraid to say it because you fear you cant enforce it
say it
mean it
enforce it
double if your drunk
thats how ive lived all over the world.. my words controlled my reality my life my choices.. NOT the other way around..
you
i want you to want me
just because you CAN
no more or less
thats the most extreme thing one can do... and i want the most extreme i can get
simple
if its ok for a dominant to crave to make you his bitch i can wish you choose me.. maybe cause your bored that day and insane and pic a profile at random
ahhh if only MEN could do that.. how interesting this would be..
-------------------------------------------
this next section is me in pain.. teh range of sensuality from psychological and all of it's archetypal underpinnings, all the way to gang rape primal lust is my past the entriety of my remembered lif it has been my artform, my subject, the thing that ties together everythign you call reality.. like the atom for einstein.. like the seperation between earth and heavens for newton.. liek the quark for stephen hawking i suppose.. like the block for your favorite rapper..
artifical intelligence would be close second since i was a little kid.. and strangely enough they coincide so well because.. well.. i cant give aw3ay all my secrets,... right?
this profile is me loving myself.. because frankly.. for a lifelong hardcore sensualist to be celibate for so long simply because of the choice to either find a partner with similar drive or nothing at all....
its been hard ... to care for the one that has cut me off from my artform.. i was never into casual sex mind you.. but in the past i used to simply "turn" vanilla women onto the lifestyle.. with dramatic results of course..
its been hard enforcing on myself the rule... NO VANILLA CHICKS>. no matter how hot.. how interesting.. how much latent potential.. i decided nine years ago after losing my wife to the vanilla world.. i would never again have that pain... never again be forced to see someones dreams in their eyes . ad despite their happiness with me and the lifestyle.. KNOW they dreamt of something else.. something familiar..
it broke my heart and each day during her last month we did intense psychical sessions.. during those sessions i meditated on what i was expressing to her.. phsyically.. and also what i was searching for.. with the touch that was preparing to let her go back to that world i couldn't live in (that book is a set of thoughts to .. i guess... who i thought i was looking for.. what i wanted to do to them.. so many years ago.. 10 years of 24/7 can change you.. so id say i seek a lot more extreme and driven than i did then.. but those thoughts are still part of me.. of who i am.. of where i started what led me down this hole to being one of those "extreme dominants" i used to snicker at years ago..
http://www.postpoems.com/authors/heru each oen took about 35 seconds to write.. and represented a 30 minute bdsm/sex session (five per day, 30 days)
i
but i am at a stage where i understand.. for me to be happy in a lifetime exploration it has to be a lifetime exploration of those things that interest me.. this lifestyle.. the transformation and depth and connection.. and just damn great near consatnt sex it can bring.. IF you have a partner who also seeks that.. whichever direction ro element they adore (i love it all from straight mental to rugged raw primal consensual non consenting physical... different types and subs and slaves are like my children ... dont ASK me to pick favorites
heck i was reading about different types of subs and slaves YEARS before i even knew what FIRST BASE meant.. (or a basketball hoop)... the beauty of libraries .. right?
there is so much more to me than the profiles ive had over the years.. i walk grigoian among new york city streets, london streets, floating through the sea of humanity hunting.. others who can relate.. this world their playground land of dreams each door open to the fury of their will, intellect, creativity, ability to ADAPT to obtain .. whatever they desire.. all the while GIVING giving giving energy life lust love knowledge .. to any they run across.. for what else si there to do as .. you drink in each experience one country one flesh one soul at a time
one book
each oen fo you an island of books to me.. the covers i discard the pages i rip away.. and deeply drink in the core, the parts and parcel alone that was marked through, blanked out, edited and left on the cutting room floor.. bleeding heart of authors blood i drink
rolled up cigarette of dead authors ashes i sift through one inhale at a time
and you...
i crave you want you and yet.. of all the things in this world you are the ONE that must give itself.. i cannot hunt, claim, take, command, force, outhink, outsmart, outgun, or outhired gun YOUR CHOICE
and yet i remember when my life was oh so much simpler than seeking a release fo flesh hand stuck into the pringles jar chinese torture trap of this website
and yet to make another? suicide girls male sleaze picking through a pond uniquely your own.. another site? none so specific regardless of whether or not they TRULY claim lifetime truly claim to bond to be owned or to Own.. uniquely site specific aim and scope well within parameters of the one dream this human flesh could not twist reality to yield to waiting lusting mouth
i am a hunter.. primal.. feral and ruthless.. i hunt.. power.. knowledge.. i hunt the mages the vampires the corporate gods the awakened the enlightened.. they polish my stone.. this spirit this mind.. they shape my rhythm.. this body lean and built for lust to take.. dancer equiline mind sublime
precise devourer each prey so different
the route to her orgasm the bumpy road to her subspace each one different.. for years i was paid to take those journeys.. professional dominant.part explorer part psyhcologist.. part rapist fo the mind.. taking it with shakespeare or monty python.. seducing it with my life with the thrill kill kult soothing it with john coltrane
these hands strong enough to feel death across the fingertips of a piano stroke sculpted forms just like yours and yet totally unique.. many different times.. as if blindfolded .. the clay began to speak your shape to you through my eyes
this is how i think
feral nietzchean parent instructed 360 degree chasing.. god's eye
gods man, dark angels prince.. just a weapon. a tool a piece..my birth name in a foreign language to... olde english i suppose.. unlimited intellect made it a verb
combat is all i know.. on every level.. a million motions a second til one day teh engine BROKE
step back to the one place.. i cannot think free... this box.. i fear
you are so used to words.. and yet in reality those bite size chunks are maggot food to the motions.. the movements.. many calculations a second.. waged against your trembling.. a dance each touch to me.. like a cat angling for an opening to strike.. i do.. through your walls and pathways.. brightly lit craving for it all from degradation to destruction.. soft caress to hard rape
paths ive walked.. training for this race into your submission.. swimming upstream against a lifetime lived amongst those that crave everything BUT that spark of life that is your choice.. to express.. life.. awareness.. hunger.. peace.. regardless of the chaos or serene precision it requires
i feel your shape on memory.. a dozen emotions testosterone and adrenalin mixed with awareness pounds through bloodstream each second
and yet you wish i should silence that voice adopt a less focused one.. less primal.. less fluid.. these bite sized words that make oh so much sense
and yet.. ten pages are not what one touch from me is like.. one stare.. one growl.. no role play.. i am feral intellect
fear.. to lose.. what i hunt.. kept my tongue clamped.. and yet... i am that beast you crave if i have the freedom.. i wont pretend to be a dumb beast,.. but instead the smartest..
i am intelligent but i will not pretend that within me does not hide an urge and passion to grind you into dust.. simply because it is a [picture i have painted a path i have walked down.. i have been poly i have been monogamous i have had slaves and subs i have had lovers and fuckmeat
to think that because i walked those paths with passion, skill, and interest.. means i want YOU to be one of them? i can savor making you what you most crave and STILL be good at something else..
the same fact that like an animal .. i think in images.. poetic and full always flowing infinite and speed and depth..
means not that some other male is greater beast than i.. both not only coexist.. they feed one another..
i crave... power
fear.. of you as a key to that power.. your choice.. makes me ambivalent to pick a path that you have come across in your experience.. be the type of dominant YOU know.. can accept
street soldier i .. consigliere .. once i was.. many different subcultures i was a go between apprentice in.. in the middle of a city wide gangw ar i was on every level of the trenches..
corporate walls..waged war in next.. bedrooms in which i did compete seducer.. companion on many levels for hire.. arm candy i was but dominant still i was the wicked poison to show off more than the candy.. i was the sinful treat that you knew would consume from the inside out.. manhattan ballrooms diversions
no bragging i wish i was something different.. rob zombie or a rancher.. and yet my past is what it is.. never casual.. only long term.. each path i dreamt of walking down i slid slyly until i reached and crossed every threshold every door from dark to light
no pride or guilt in what i was .. each step was necessary to shape myself into a better hunter.. stalking an experience i have yet to have.. a person to dominate and yet who commands my choice.. in who in what i will see for a lifetime..
this beast i am a pen in the hand of a storyteller who is life itself.. and yet that pen has come to life all dark ink coat and write that story in each day
i know not how to go backwards.. and yet.. outside of this tiny box.. lies the wasteland outside of where i desire to be.. possessing someone who was able to jump into that existence.. not based on flesh or words in life or anything beyond CHOICE.. hunger.. for power itself
for lust made flesh for intellect set free for the beast the Master the dominant not of her day to day reality.. but only of her dream..
enough enough.. too much i i i for me me me.. but profiles are about somehow someway taking the entirety of you and putting it out..
and yes.. infinite words i have.. because to me .. they are touches.. they are screams.. they are thrusts.. they are ten inches or a hand.. they are a sigh a caress a tremble.. here.. they are words.. but rather i be tapping on flesh than plastic keys..
all my years on the world i have always hunted for that One.. just liek a slave i too wanted to serve, to learn from, be shaped by
i found many dominants many dommes many slaves.. i was taught by and taught each in my way.. but that One eluded me.. the stereotypical "Pan" not someone who was a human claiming to be a dark lord.. simply this:
Mr. Shadow from The Fifth Element.. alien.. teh most terrible intelligence imaginable.. takign time to adjust itself to our living conditions.. goal: seeking the four elements
the four elements could be an analogy.. in my mind at least.. for the points of the sephiroth. the many points o.. the representation of the human existence in our oldest judeo christian record
each one a state of awareness each one a state of being that a human must master to truly BECOME a complete being.. to integrate the microcosm of themselves with the macrocosm of the universe.. the best way to "serve god" or the universal
some are aggressive, primal, dark, powerful, some are sublime, intellectual, loving, giving
a dominant SHOULD be.. ONCE WAS .. a Master.. of what? a slave? NO!!!
Dionysian Mysteries bdsm historica.. a Master of THEMSELVES
totally and completely becoming one who has the power to unlock that inner YOU.. because they have put in the time and work to unlock it in themselves.. the potential of many states of being.. to guide you through them to where you desire MOST to BE.. to experience life from.. that point of awareness that point of personality.. that level of humanity, inhumanity, or primal physicality
The Emperor from Star Wars a consciousness focused every single waking (and due to the nature of the brain, this level of focus would also lead to a heavy majority of dreamtime being in it's grip) moment on a singular focus, purpose, objective, set of subjects, methods, a complete artificial being.. almost a machine a living shark. animated and controlled by a PERSON.. possible.. simply.. more work than most.. allowing for . in his own words... not even enough downtime to SLEEP
that relentless nature.. which is not evil or malevolent.. simply.. the state of being for all creatures save man.. that primal neutral is a norm.. for that character.. a secret i noticed well into my youth and have been exploring ever since
his mind a sharks body both function the same.. as does mine
This type of character seems to me to be a manifestation of the true meaning of Nietzche's "Ubermensch" philosophy. A human, an individual, who has sacrificed himself as an individual to pursue a particular function, an ideal, a desire, a goal. That goal does not have anything to do with being "Over" anyone.. although technically that WOULD be possible.,. but that would be WEAK and HUMAN. You as an Ubermensch are above your OWN humanity along with humanity as a whole. have transcended it .. as if all elements of it are immaterial.. except the genetic part.. the primal part.. the part that fuels and implements the rest.
Your biology itself has become a society of mind.. your mind itself has become the most ruthless cunning driven beast.
that was my understanding.. after torturing adults for more insight.. of Nietzche when I was 11/12 years old. You can only imagine a lifetime of not theory but actual practical application has created.
I am not here to find any less than normal. I want one who is hunting power.. the power to dominate them, to take them exactly where they desire going in a way they desire most.. filled with pleasure.. fear.. excitement.. curiosity.. but most of all.. certainty that they will be able to explore every dream.. literally.. every being the key word.. uniquely every
im nto takign just anything.. i know what i want.. but not who within that group.. truly wants to explore that sort of focus. that sort of intensity.. we all as humans have power.. but that specific sort is not for everyone..
so many people look for dreams..i know i spent a lifetime hunting them.. training them.. making them happen.. that paid my bills.. billions of dollars worth of human talent and dreams.. shaped. manifested..
i can tell you that so much more often than you imagine.. your exact dream has not even one identifying characteristic you expected.. for it to make the journey from that dream to reality.. to flesh and blood and life..
i am dream made flesh.. you dont know me but i know you.. thats all i know is what you have yet to discover.. your future is my past.
your past dreams my future reality
Simply the purity of your inhumanity to become an engine of awareness necessitates the transformation from Man to Ubermensch, because you have transcended your humanity.. not surpassed it, not become a superman, simply transcended it.. meaning your humanity is no longer an impediment of any kind to pure awareness of and movement towards your ideal.. objective.. knowledge.. power
to me that journey is the same as the one you will take.. this is not to say a slave is a better example of an Ubermensch than a dominant.. but .. yeah thats exactly what i am saying
dominants have limits.. slaves have none really.. they purely explore all they can be.. many fo the 24/7 ones and even the less than 24/7 .. completely immersed in a designed consciousness.. they become what their owner craves down to the second..
and what i love to explore.. how i gain power.. shaping you into something pure.. i learn more to shape myself in ways that noone who is NOT a slave can actually know they are capable of..
and that leaves
Pan the favored archetype of this creature in popular culture.. lover of food wine and women,.. and so much more.. Lust made flesh.. nature made aggression in a way modern destruction cannot imagine..
and the stereotypical... infinitely creative.. scientifically genius gifted poet we call morningstar..
and what of... persephone pandora and lilith
that is what we are here to find out, isnt it?
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ideally.. yes.. i like to explore ownership to the extreme.. full complete deep ownership.. near constant full on body worshiping objectification..
but we never live in an ideal world do we?
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the trick ive found is simply to type.. that's it.. and edit later.. faster than i can read as i edit the typos.. a bit of focus, and by a bit i mean the same amount you should put into thinking nothing for more than ten seconds.. the same amount you pout when you feel her orgasm hiding just beneath your force, tracing it with batlike radar finding and releasing it out across her body .. one moment one last bit of pressure.. fracture over the edge
all these things just the hair of one thought.. the question what it feels like a finger against your neck to know that your mind body choice exist by will deep in the future.. to serve to be dominated and shaped into my object of lust.. and ultimately to never be let go for being that dream made flesh.. that perfect victim favorite pet perfect creature.. that listener in on that dark rhtythm of lust that runs deep inside us all like a black serpentine fire.
my real thoughts flow more rapidly the mercury coil of cobra strikes the pitter patter of lightning quick enlightenmed zen paint brush strokes..
this tipper tapper pitter patter i call an experimental profile is like the ice pick gently tapping away the bits of ice to reveal wu wei scultpure underneath.. picture frozen in time of a split second fot thought.. the equivalent of that hot blood boiling rush i feel knowing your so close .. your scent almost your fear filling my nostrils..
i feel the tremor of a lip... and know.. the old reflexes there.. the heat of knowing.. neck hair tingles.. calmly waiting
to see where that dart will come from.. pierce the judgment sentenced wall of words and pluck out simply because.. you can
how strange i expect human females to be lionesses.. hunting too that one they crave to pounce on them with the same pounce given to the prey.. but instead of taking life.. giving it taming it and making it mine
i realized today how much m,y lust is driven by teh fact that ive been a painter since around age four.. i love beauty.. and even though my eye is more tim burton than bruckheimer.. it is an equally important part to me as the mind..
serpentine lusting wildlike psychedlic imagery of continual self destructive hunting reproducing only dark thoughts in your living flesh alien minded more each day
yum
somewhere my slut my whore my bitch my f*&^meat because i too enjoy dipping deeper into the well of life as to forget my humanity somewhere near the surface
interests many.. intensity always exploring the limits (cognitive science major still alas...) not as much the hugest fan of orgasm control as simply masterigng the natural ability to generate them within the sub.. sad to say my record (counting potential multiples as singular) is only 21 in a single day... greedy to savor the bdsm equivalent of foreplay over hours i suppose..
to me now.. years later.. that number is so low.. bdsm is evolving.. the methodologies, the techniques of cionditioning, deconditioning, hypniosis and such..
im old fash9ioned i suppose... simple near constant animalistic primal lust temprered by devilish intellect still works for me
hunter s thompson curious abotu exploring a dominant ideal i like to think perhaps..
except fulltime.. long term deep research.. the mind of more uinhumane than killer.. simpley beast wrapped in man clothing.. throwback to a day when souls could be devoted consumed shared focused meshed
today fast forwarded.. hunting my own dreams still.. each day polishing the ssword of hunger expanding knowledge talents rhtyhm.. calm deep breaths.. still mind.. hunting need.. for.. inhuman curiosity through choice
hatha yoga is mantra.. dune mentat oath and with these words i shape my moments.. with this sentence the world dissapears and there is only a plains across which my dream has dreams.. these teeth these nails this mind.. stalks them.. my humanity cold and gone paces back and miles ago
and i dont miss it... chasing your role model i was
and yet.. subs and slaves in the 80s when i was a child.. had surefire untamed spirits weaving their actions.. role model for a future dominant in how to live life with purity fo abandon
later those girls integrated into thew world even as remembered lessons from an alien culture helped shape my future.. now a present..
and release..
if you could click your fingers and become superman..
but alas.. for that to work where is lois?
next installment of the incredibly growing profile:
how john donne taught me to be a totally ruthless hungry passionate and sadistic dominant on multiple levels of life (was 13)
ah well.. back to work..
or maybe to me life is all an exchange.. 24/7
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pics http://baphomeh.deviantart.com
project www.myspace.com/baphomeh (no rush im patient to do it later)
writing (not bdsm.. sort of my cinderella slipper of the mind) www.postpoems.com/authors/heru
theres something fun about consensual non consent
hot breath.. friction a hand at the throat yanking you down in mid sentence.. mid word.. so only a small yelp sound before you feel me at your neck.. eyes burning with desire body a furnace sliding lean and tense against you like medusa's older brother .. a serpents stare to not turn you to stone but instead make you
burn with the fire from within
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