deepdarksecret

The things that happen in life...
You can only hope that there is a reason for all of them
A reason that will someday make sense
You grow up with being told that all things have a reason and a lesson
So how is it you learn from the lesson
When you just dont understand the reason
I guess its just one of those things
One of those things that
With time
you hope becomes clearer
I look outside and its not raining
but clearer
The birds sound happy
and the sun I know I can count on

I'll just believe the rest will follow

Lemon Donuts
will be found and shared

Games of many kinds will
be played
enjoyed
and always won
by two

Sweaters with buttons will
no longer
be accused
of being 65
but
will have a newfound
appeal

Cupcakes
they will
 make you wish you
made more money

"The shirt will be warm on those cold winter nights"
it will do its part well
until one day
it may not need
to
anymore

The wonderful possibilities

So all this negativity that has made me write these journals of the past days, I am ridding myself of it all.
I don't enjoy being negative. I have learned some valuable lessons in the past month or so, lessons I will learn from. Life is much too short to play head games. The one good  thing is I caught on early, that is a good thing. The people that are playing them only have themselves to deal with.

I have always been honest. I will not change that. You ask a question you will get an answer. You may not like it, but you will know it is honest. This way I am able to sleep at night.
 
I will let you know what I think, especially important in the beginnings of a relationship. It is called learning about each other. If you think you will always be right and what I say should be second guessed... you need to check another name.

I will let you know I do have friends here in CM. If you are uncomfortable with that you probably should not message me because my friends are very important to me and yes some of them are Doms.

So now the negativity of this page will no longer be.
~
Thank you especially to my friend who messaged me this morning and helped me get to this point.

"When we walk to the edge of all the light we have and take the step into the darkness of the unknown, we must believe that one of two things will happen. There will be something solid for us to stand on or we will be taught to fly.?
~P.Overton~

"The Account Is Reclaimed"


The ill natured idiosyncrasy of  defective need can cause such odious behaviors.
(for you who had part in it...hope it was an enjoyable journey. Im just glad I know  now who to trust and who not to)
Have a great day

Why do I choose not to fill in my likes and only give my dislikes? this seems to be the question of the month, seeing I have received 9 messages about it from different people. I guess its easier to read than to talk to someone about for some people but anyway,
 the answer Issss

I would rather discuss these things with a prospective Dom rather than click on "LOVE IT" "LIVE FOR IT" " LIKE IT"--what exactly do those three phrases mean anyway.
 To different people each has a different meaning.
 Now if there were room for comments next to the LIVE IT-LOVE IT-LIKE IT...Then it might be easier to distinguish exact thought and feeling about such things.
 I am not a negative person, quite the opposite. I have just made my choice on not filling in the LOVE IT-LIVE FOR IT-LIKE IT section.
I have looked at other profiles where LOVE  IT LIVE FOR IT  and  EXPERT( and btw what makes someone an expert)...
is clicked for so many of the items that (don't know about you) but scares me to death. Just being honest here.

I filled in the HATE IT-HARD LIMIT etc because that IS Exactly what they are. I don't change my mind about those things. Its there for a reason, and usually a pretty damn good reason too, as I am not a haphazard checker.
So if you want to know what I LOVE and LIVE FOR...I guess you could ask me...Im a pretty easy person to talk to.

Thank you for all the sweet wishes...

i am going to try to be polite...i do apologize ahead of time if this sounds rude , BUT unfortunately i have recently been swamped with certain  emails that i am assuming i need to clarify...
if you are not interested in a real face to face relationship where eventually i meet you, then you would be looking at the wrong profile.

i am not interested in being someones part time whenever quick get off point...
nor am i interested in , lets say relieving your frustrations online or  by phone  after the first typed "Hello". 

 Introducing yourself as Master or Sir and expecting me to call you by such at all times while we are getting to know each other, won't happen. i was given  a name when i was born as i suspect you were also. 

i am not your bitch, slut or whore, thinking "Hello my bitch" will get a response, it won't, i promise you that. 

 there are others here that wish only online or on phone fantasy, others that feel the need to be treated like a blooming brainless individual,  others that enjoy the quick, no strings, no connection  relationship. 
i would not
be one of them,
 but i do wish you well on your search.


 now that i have explained this, i do hope you understand.

Take me away: A secret place.
A sweet escape: Take me away.

Take me away to better days.
Take me away: A higher place.

There's a place that I go,
But nobody knows.
Where the rivers flow,
And I call it home.

And there's no more lies.
In the darkness, there's light.
And nobody cries.
There's only butterflies

these words are from the song 
 Pocketful of Sunshine
i am so loving this song...
but of course
 there are
certain
 lines in it
 which some here would
 not approve of...
lol

z
so everyone has their own little "place" they go to feel better, to make whatever is wrong right...
be it an actual location or otherwise.
  Music has always been my "place".
i can wrap myself up in it and lose myself...
it harms no one
but has the ability to help everyone.

No i did not remove the photo...Not sure what happened to the previous photo...disappeared, poof...i have attempted to resubmit another...

i am beginning to think i have asked myself one too many times, what on earth i am doing here? Maybe it is time to look elsewhere. Is honesty something most here find impossible to share with another? Is honesty something people have begun to put on the priority list they have from 1-10 at number 10? I hope i am wrong in thinking this but the past few months have proven this to be true...How do you have any type of relationship without the honesty?....The answer is you never really do.

i have had 3 people mention this to me in the past 4 days, so to explain...

"if i am yours i shall not be free,"
 only refers to being available to others...
i do know the incredible
feeling and sense of freedom which comes with the relationship i seek.
yes such relationships do exist.

"The eyes will do more work than both hands"

~~~
If i am yours... i shall not be free...
You will protect me... keep me safe...
guard me...
 and keep me sound...
 You will protect me from every demon...
for i will be only Yours
~~~