Darrian


Darrinonfire Male Submissive, 34, Peterborough	darrin4master Male Submissive, 23, BROMLEY	DarriusFights Male Dominant, 35, Canoga Park, California

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	About Darrian You want the best and so do I. I am an atypical dominant so please read the following CAREFULLY. I do not take kindly to those who waste my time. I am looking primarily to start a long term 24/7 relationship and am willing to put in the time to get to know you (and vice versa) before giving you orders. I am ok with an online relationship as long as there is potential for you to come out (I own a house, work full time and will probably be going back to school come spring so am pretty tied down here and will not be moving any time soon) for visits and eventually permanently. While I enjoy many aspects of BDSM and have experience in a wide range of its aspects, I have always viewed my role as a Dom as being more akin to that of a teacher than a simple disciplinarian. Rather than take what I want, I have always valued the submission which is given to me far greater, and honor it accordingly. This is not just some "kink" or desire to abuse someone weaker than me but a chance to use my knowledge and experience to raise another up. Which is not to say that I am weak by any means. I know how to make you conform to my will. But its boring: Being a tyrant requires no skill and no brain. A slave makes a beautiful queen if raised properly. My ideal slave or sub is a girl who seeks to explore herself, physically and mentally, and wants a firm hand to guide her to explore the deeper and darker recesses of her self. These can include humiliation and pain but not necessarily so. I will teach you the joy that comes from the transcendance of personal boundaries and allow you to experience true freedom from the mundane "self". That said, I expect a submissive or slave to be open and honest about all things. As your Master and mentor, I can not be left in the dark about anything. There is a strong tendancy to have little parts of oneself locked away, as it were, whether through shame, the painfulness of memory or lack of confidence in oneself to achieve their goals. All must be brought into the light, examined and explored, before growth can be achieved. My slave or sub must be loyal and dedicated: If you are to be mine, then it must go both ways- I will not attempt to work with a slave who is merely phoning it in, using me as a chance to get wild for a few hours and then go back to "business as usual". This is a long road and discipline is only effective when it has time to be reflected upon, and changes made accordingly. This is a bit trickier for those submissives who are truly masochistic, and will act out merely to get attention, but a clever Dom can find ways to torment even the most pain craving slut and she won't be happy about it. My slave or sub must want to please me, not out of a simplistic need to serve, but because she values my pleasure and knows that she will benefit from each interaction between us. My slave or sub must be proud, but not arrogant, or working to achieve something worth being proud about. My praise does not come easily so that when you hear from me that I am happy with you, you understand the enormity of that statement. I will not flatter you for the sake of flattery, but know that every word and every action is being judged. My slave or sub must be intelligent. Your growth cannot, and will not, be limited to the ability to perform sexual "tricks" or sustain painful discipline. Your mind must also develop but for that to happen, you must have a mind to begin with. And if I am not able to talk with you, I will tire of you very quickly. My slave or sub must have decorum and class. If you wish to serve me, you had best be able to be shown in public (not to be confused with used in public... that's another matter entirely). A princess in submission is infinitely more beautiful than a crude attention whore. My slave or sub must be curious, observant and thoughtful. It is not enough to be willing to have every lesson forced upon you: You must be proactive in your pursuit. My slave or sub must have a personality and be able to have fun: There is joy to be had in life and if you come to me with a broken spirit I will find you tiresome. This doesn't mean you are not allowed to have "bad days" but they should be a significant minority. You must also be able to discern when it is ok to be playful, mischievious even, and when its time to be serious. My slave or sub must take pride in her appearance but not vain. Good hygeine, dressing appropriately (goes along with class and decorum), and a desire to be seen as a reflection of me- When people see you, they should appreciate the care that you have taken with yourself. My slave or sub must be able to challenge me. I do not mean be insubordinate, but make me want to do my best work for and to you. I am constantly growing as well and the more growth we can do together, the more meaningful it will be. If I can see that you care, it will be much easier for me to. Be aware that I do tend toward polyamory. While I do not have a slave or sub at present, I may well decide to take on multiple submissives. But, also be aware that this is NOT simply a matter of trying to build a collection or an excuse to fuck around. I take all of my relationships very seriously and consider them carefully. If you and I are happy as two, there's little reason to bring in a third. But I see little reason to rule it out entirely off the bat. If you've made it this far, its a good sign. Now, send me a message and tell me why you think you are what I am looking for, or if you happen to be on at the same time as I am, you are welcome to catch me in one of the chat rooms or send me a chat invite.

Ever have one of those internal arguments that you know from the outset that you're going to lose? Ever have them any way just because you feel you should at least TRY to put up a fight in defense of your better judgement only to fail spectacularly like a belly flop on the pavement from the 16th story? I haven't. You weirdo.

I think the most annoying people on these sites are the ones that say they want to talk, you tell them "sure" and then they never respond: Its really rather silly. Oh well, I've got better things to do than to chase people down.

So, this was triggered by a post I wrote elsewhere on the 'net and then was compounded upon by a discussion I had today with a co-worker... the comment they made was something along the lines of "so if you want to dominate the women in your relationships, you must be a cheuvenist". While I know there are people out there, both in and out of the community, that might agree with that statement, in my case it is absolutely not true. I do not believe in the inherent superiority of any gender or race, only in the superiority of specific individuals. You can be any gender, race, or orientation and be superior as far as I'm concerned. What I believe in is MY superiority. I am better than most for a variety of reasons (nope, no ego here :p). Has nothing to do with the genes I was given and entirely to do with what I've done with them. Sure, I'll admit my genes might give me an advantage in certain situations (its hard to beat me in the "reach-the-top-shelf" department) but that doesn't make me better than anyone. Simply better suited for some things: Evolution is a bitch that way. And that doesn't even explain why I am in this lifestyle. I certainly do not believe in the inherent inferiority of a submissive... some are far better than the Dom/mes I've met. I might even go so far as to say that most are... but my sample is small so could be biased. No, I am a lifestyle dominant simply because I am. I am, whether by genes or environment, a teacher, a leader, a parental figure... I've been that way since I was four or five. And for the record, I don't really even consider myself an "alpha". I have some of those tendencies but in general I'm far less impulsive and emotional.. not really testosterone driven. Well, not entirely anyway. I don't seek power, merely the means by which to use the power I already possess. I do not have the need to compensate for some short coming or bruised ego. I am no better than my sub, in the big picture, simply have strengths where they are needed most for her benefit and our mutual pleasure. Grandiose enough for you?

A perfect sub Does not have to be perfect. Too often we get a little.. myopic about the things we want in our partner or partners and can miss fantastic opportunities that are right in front of us. Conversely, we may find someone who will do, but convince ourselves that we (especially dominants) can change the other person into what we want. This is not to say that we should not have standards and be picky... if you're serious about the relationship you are looking to pursue, you have every right to not settle for something that fundamentally conflicts with your basic desires. In my case, here are the most basic things that I am looking for in a submissive (some of this has already been addressed elsewhere, but consider this the digest version). Female- I am strictly hetero. I don't have a problem with TG people on paper, but having only known a few and having had relationships with none, I do not know if I could really commit to it. Age- Younger than me or within a couple years. I know "age is just a number", but the fact is, that for me, that number is important. It doesn't really matter to me if you're a "young at heart" 40 year old- its a psychological block that I have and don't see changing at any point. Weight- Less than me. Like many of you, I believe that physical dominance is a part of over all dominance and while I am not a weakling, there are simple physics involved. If I can't comfortably pick you up or pull you into my lap, its just not gonna work for me. Also, generally healthy is important. Mentality-Loyalty, honesty, intelligence, curiosity, creativity and perceptiveness are key: I do not want JUST a piece of meat. You had better be able to hold your own in a conversation and more crucially, be able to keep up with me. Personality- Confident. While I appreciate a sub who knows when it is appropriate to be quiet and modest, I can't stand girls who are good for little more than accessories. You should also be able to express your wants and needs. I do not subscribe to the "sub=toy" mentality. You should certainly be able to play the part, but on the whole toys are useless to me. Sexuality- Your mentality and personality should show through your sexuality as well. And while I occassionally enjoy girls with an exhibitionist streak and enjoy PDA, I firmly believe that a sub should only be a slut for her Master. And while I am looking for a potential poly situation, it is not neccessarily a deal breaker, but if you have a predisposition in that direction, so much the better. To that end, bisexual is also preferred. Hygiene: Disease free. Light smokers/drinkers tolerated but you must be clean: Bathe, brush your teeth, etc. Take some pride in how you look (note: this does not give you an excuse for vanity). No BO and if you wear perfume and make up, it should be light. If you meet those basic requirements, we should probably talk.

Oh, one last thing while I'm thinking about it: I am strongly considering moving out of Colorado... I'm so sick of our winters. Anyone who thinks they have a fun city to live in (preferably with a strong music scene) and who might have a couch or spare bedroom for me to crash at while I scope out the town is strongly encouraged to message me. This goes for doms/dommes/subs/slaves/other. We'll talk and work out details.

While I am not abandoning CM by any means (its still the easiest way to do searches for people) I will be moving over to FL for most of my interactions. Anyone who is already on there, or planning on joining is free to look me up: DarrianLV. My journal on here will probably be pretty dead as a result: Just a heads up.

I really need to get back to practicing guitar regularly. But its boring. Anyone out there want to play "audience", I'd rather perform than practice anyday. So, let me know.

Spent a lovely evening with a new friend. Damn if I don't love a girl who can cook. Throw in a bottle of wine and life gets a little less irritating.

There is a myth that one reaps what they sow. I say myth because many times, people don't get what they deserve: Terrible human beings frequently get away with and good people still get screwed. But I always enjoy it when people get their justly earned rewards, for bad or ill. And when you surround yourself with lies and deceit, I will be more than happy to witness the house of cards collapse around you.

Starting over.

I'm still hurt. I'm still pissed. But she lied, not me.

I will not let a manipulative bitch make me feel like shit.

Back to looking.

She broke my heart. And couldn't even tell me what went wrong. Turned out she's been cheating on me for weeks with a guy on the other side of the country. Fuck. I'm not happy.

Don't ask me right now. I don't know.

Well, I officially tried and it has been to no avail. I guess that means I'm back to actively looking for a submissive unless something completely out of the blue happens. It hurts a bit but I can only do so much and will not kill myself to care for someone who doesn't actually want it. I would happily be proven wrong in my suspicions but won't hold my breath.

Ended up going to see a flick. The holidays wouldn't be so bad if more was actually open. Sometimes being an atheist with no family sucks.

So my little trip to emo land last night seems to have been premature but we're not out of the woods yet.

Bordering on heart broken. Yay.

I am not at my most optomistic right now..

Due to a number of things going on, both on and offline, I've been considering polyamory in more depth lately and reached a couple of conclusions. Polyamory is inherently selfish. It doesn't matter if its communal or not: the desire to have more, whether its a Dom(me) or sub, is a selfish desire. But just because its selfish, doesn't make it wrong. The desire for monogamy is equally selfish and yet, people don't have as much of a problem with it. And if a Dom(me) should choose to build a harem, stable or whatever term they should choose to call it, so what? That's rather like begrudging the successful business man of earning a profit. It means they did their job successfully. Perhaps unethically, depending on who is picked for the model, but they win. Or how about begrudging the farmer for increasing the yield of their crops? Seems dumb to me. But, just because its selfish, doesn't mean it is necessarily exploitative. It certainly could be, as could the farmer's crops or the business man's profit, but it doesn't HAVE to be. I'm not going to argue the ethics of polyamory, especially within the D/s scene... whether its "right" or "wrong" for a Dom(me) to build a harem simply for ego gratification is immaterial for the purposes of this very brief monolog. But I would cautiously argue that there are better reasons: Compassion is a great one- A Dom(me) should not be without compassion and there are plenty of subs out there who are in need of the guidance and shelter that only a good Dominant can provide. We can still be teachers and protectors without necessarily being "greedy" and it is not unreasonable to argue that a sub should repay the time and effort a Dominant puts forth to those ends by serving them. A "tribe" is more secure than an individual on their own and all can benefit from that environment but there are other benefits as well, which do not easily manifest in a strictly monogamous relationship, namely, additional resources: financial, physical, emotional, and intellectual. A Dom(me) may choose to have a kept sub, who stays home and whose sole purpose is servitude to them, domestically and physically. But that puts a lot of pressure on a single Dom(me) and sub. Being able to share the burden, whether its bringing in an income, doing chores around the house, or satisfying the desires of the Dominant or the submissive becomes much easier when there are multiple people involved. Its the same logic behind farmers having large families: More kids means more hands when it comes time to tend the fields. Subs have eachother to rely on for support and assistance that they may not be able to get, or may feel uncomfortable getting, from their Dom benefits from the company and attention of multiple subs. It is, of course, a mine field of its own problems: No system is perfect. But a good Dominant, who is selective of those that they choose to bring into the household, working with good subs, who are loyal to and trust their Dominant should be able, indeed, should be expected to minimize these by using the tools at their disposal: discipline, wisdom and patience. The question to be addressed then is how to build this "extended family". Some prefer a hierarchy within their households: Subs are treated preferentially based on seniority or some other attribute. This is a mistake. First, it puts the sub in a position of authority, and while some subs may be able to handle it, it usurps the Dominant. And secondly, if you're going to show favoritism towards one sub or another (not to be confused with metering out rewards and punishments), the others are done a disservice by not being able to benefit as fully from their Dom(me). If all you really want is "hired hands", go hire some. If additional subs are little more than live-in help, then really, anyone could do the job, and a submissive that needs to be trained and cultivated put in such a role is a gross misapplication of resources. Waste not, want not. Rather the Dominant should be the head of the household: King, Queen, God, Goddess. Whatever. And it is their sole responsibility to oversee that things run smoothly and that each sub in their care is trained appropriately. Each should be dealt with more or less equally, but uniquely, with care and artistry. Ideally, each sub would want something a little different from their Dominant, and something different from the relationship. Some might prefer to serve by working outside the home, some by doing domestic work, some might need to be cared for and loved, preferring a parental relationship, some might just be pain sluts... a good Dominant knows how to find what is needed for their household and to meet their own desires while providing for each of the submissives in their care. Its a lot of work, and to the lazier Dominants I say, skip it: In the end no one will be happy or satisified. But for those of you who are like me, I think we owe it to ourselves and the subs we care for, to give it the attention it deserves.

Been... Busy. -ish. I suppose mentally preoccupied is a better description. With the holidays now in full swing, I find myself in the middle of my least favorite time of year in addition to the usual depression issues. Fun. But there's someone worth holding on to... holding out for. Which makes things a little more bareable. She's everything I'd hoped for when I joined this site: smart, beautiful and already finding (almost preternaturally) all the ways to push my buttons (good and bad). The only MASSIVE downside is the distance. Nothing impossible, but definitely an undesireable complication. Oh well- I'm not in this life style for easy. If I were, I'd have probably wasted time with all the 'net sluts and missed this chance. Its been years since I felt like this... since well before I released my last sub, so at least 4, possibly more. Its taking some getting used to. The conflicting drives to just absolutely break her, while still being ridiculously (perhaps even disgustingly) twitterpated is always an interesting experience. Trenier: You are a wonderful girl and I can't wait to see where this goes... especially once we get through that shell of yours.

Yup, I was right: I have found an amazing sub. She is everything I could hope for... To the rest of you- best of luck on your searches.

I generally consider myself to be a pretty patient and understanding person... but that side of me is very quickly disappearing. I'm beginning to get why so many "Doms" come across as Dick-driven assholes: So many of the subs deserve nothing better. They aren't looking to submit, they just want attention. And for a "Dom" just looking to get his dick wet or beat up a girl, its perfect. The Doms don't have to any skill or personality and the "subs" can get attention by being the neighborhood cum dumpster. Thank you all for ruining the scene.

Ever been in one of those moods where you want to recite '90's love ballads over the sound of conga drums in that really shitty coffee shop down the street? Me neither. But sometimes I get really close.

Sometimes I have the meanest thoughts... And not mean in an "ooh, he's all sadistic and shit" way. Nope, just "my god.. what a fucking asshole". Oh well, it keeps me entertained.

Is anyone else out there annoyed at the people who decide to post to their journals in either ridiculously sized or colored fonts? Seriously: If you have something to say then say it. If all you want is to have a "pretty" space to look at, go copy ascii art.

May have found my perfect sub.. we'll see what happens.

Yes, some Doms really do want a sub who can just sit there and look pretty (or... not..) and generally validate their already over inflated ego: They want to be a King (or Queen) but lack the talent, courage or strength of will to actually make it happen, so want a sub who will metaphorically blow enough smoke up their ass that they feel better.

But that's not really my kink.

If a submissive in my care simply gives in because of my title, then its a hollow victory: she has not sacrificed anything she would not give to a thousand others who call themselves "Master" and anything she may do or say to me is effectively meaningless and I have no reason to believe or trust anything she says: She may as well be submitting to a sock puppet (which, while potentially funny would get boring very quickly).

I want a submissive's loyalty and respect, maybe even reverence, not just fear.

I guess in a way, you can blame all the old martial arts films... While I was never that big of a fan of the genre, there was always something about the master/student relationship that resonated heavily with me: The student swore allegiance and submission to their teacher because the teacher had proved themselves and the teacher chose only the best and brightest students.

Which wasn't to say a teacher would not scare the living shit out of a student when the situation warranted it- They were deadly and the students knew it. But it wasn't simply a fear of being beaten down that kept the student in line. It was a loyalty to the path, to the teaching, and thus, the teacher themselves.

Of course the analogy sort of falls down there: A submissive can never, and should never, be put into the position of a dominant (switches count as neither). And as much as I might train my sub, ultimately it is training them to serve me- not training them to become a teacher in my absence (though, there are some ways in which this could be applicable to a poly situation.. but that's another matter).

If a submissive wants a reason to fear me, I am happy to oblige. But if fear is all that get's you off- don't waste my time.

Hilarious morning reading through other people's journals... No need to call anyone out, but here's a few pointers:

Doms- As much as you like to think the world revolves around your penis, if that's all you have to offer a submissive, that's pathetic.

Dommes- I'm really confused as to how many of you claim to be "professional": It seems that your dominance relies entirely on someone else's wallet and bruised scrotum. Boring.

Subs- While there are a few female submissives who seem to actually put some thought into their writing, it seems the boys have you beat. Which honestly, surprises the living hell out of me. But, good for you boys. I find it rather depressing how many of you all are so 1 dimensional.

To those of you who are not, we need to be encouraging people to do better... Not for the sake of the "scene" or even the site but for ourselves: We want the best a submissive has to offer, so let's stop letting them get away with less. And we should be demanding that of ourselves as well- Yes, we want to be served and serviced, yes we want to be worshiped. We are men (and women) who would be gods. So let's act like it.

I'm noticing a very odd trend: The population of submissives in and around Colorado seems to be effectively 0, with the number growing at an increased rate as the coast is approached. Effectively proving that Colorado pretty much sucks.

*excuse the formatting... CM is being stupid*

There seems to be a rather sloppy breakdown between the various "submissive roles" which has led to confusion on the part of those who I speak with. I realize that my definitions are by no-means universal, but anyone who cares to take a look is welcome to borrow them or argue them- it makes little difference to me, but may be of assistance to you.

A bottom, to my way of thinking, is simply the passive partner. This is ok for some people (ie, the bottom or their top) but to me is simply boring. Its the most general, least demanding role anyone can play. There may be elements of masochism involved but this would appear to be a sub-group, not necessarily universally true.

A slave is one who's sole motivating force is objectification: They want to be used, typically used hard, and typically sexually. They seem to crave a complete loss of identity at the hands of the Master or Mistress, not thinking its been a good night unless they are curled in a ball, probably crying, and generally covered with various goo. As a dominant, and from time to time, a fairly sadistic one, I can at least see some entertainment value in this but only in the short term and only if very precise physical characteristics are present. I would not hang just any piece of "art" on my wall, so why should I hang you there instead? Or, are we expecting mere ego gratification to somehow make the idea of you locked in a basement somewhere entertaining?

A servant is almost as trivial as the bottom: They achieve ego gratification from causing pleasure through their physical labor. They generally deem themselves above a slave in terms of general D/s pecking order (being generally "too good" to give in to the honest, though simplistic, depravity and wantonness of the slave). These tend to be people who thrive on their domestic role: Cooking, cleaning, chauffeuring, maybe dressing, etc. Again, this is a role that just bores me, and again, would rely solely on aesthetics for me to take any pleasure from someone who wanted to play this role. Though, I could save on house cleaning...

But a submissive:

Submissives are beautiful, beautiful things.

A proper submissive requires so much more skill and versatility: They must be clever first and foremost. They must be able to adapt to the needs and wants of their Dominant. They must learn to read them and anticipate them, knowing when, where and how to best serve their Dom/me. But while a slave or a servant can be passive, acting only when directed, a proper sub takes it upon themselves to grow for the benefit of the one they serve.

And it is with a good Sub that a good Dom must rise to the occasion. We should not just sit there and let such potential waste away. We must actively mold them, not only into what we want them to be, but what they really can be. Here, we must be lover, confidant, teacher, disciplinarian in addition to the aggressor (maybe even abuser, depending on how far down that rabbit hole you choose to go).

Here, and only here, can both a sub and a Dom really explore the extreme limits of what life has to offer: Transcending the peaks of pain and pleasure and enduring the lows of Hell itself.

A submissive must be a partner, an equal to the Dom, even though their roles are very different.

A sub must be beautiful and pleasurable- their very presence should light a spark in the heart, mind and (let's not beat around the bush... so to speak) genitals of their Dominant.

A sub must be unflinchingly honest, open and loyal and the Dominant must return in kind, if any real growth is to happen.

A sub must be confident enough in themselves that they can be at home in any role their Dominant may choose for them.

A sub must be without limits because they know their Dominant cares for them greatly.

A sub must be raised to be unwavering in their trust of their Dominant. Safe words are all well and good for the part-timers but have no place in real relationship.

A sub must be disciplined.

Of course, all of this requires that the Dominant work to be exceptional- Trust, loyalty and honesty must be earned. Confidence must be cultivated, creativity and labor rewarded, improper behavior punished.

The needs of the submissive are just as critical as the needs of the Dominant and both must be met. The submissive is special because they CHOOSE this role. A slave is bought, a servant hired, but a submissive must SUBMIT: They give of themselves for the pleasure of their partner and the gift of their submission must be honored and respected by the Dominant:

They choose YOU. They could serve anyone (and submissives of quality are rare and in high demand) but you have been deemed the most fit, the most worthy. You are the

God they have chosen to adore.

This all takes hard work, patience and understanding. But when it happens...

Damn.

Got some stuff to handle. BBL.

Are there really that many boring and entirely predictable submissives out there? Rhetorical question. I know the answer. I always find it slightly amusing (or frustrating, depending on the mood I'm in) that so many people in the "alternative" cultures really aren't. You claim your a sub (or dom... or goth/punk/emo/skater/hipster/hippy/blah blah blah..) which really only means that you've decided to be completely "normal" in every way but then choose to define yourself by some fringe label just so you can feel unique. Sorry to break it to you- Most of you aren't. There are always exceptions of course, but I'm tired of having my time wasted by 1 dimensional girls with virtually nothing going on in their heads.

The tyrant views it as his birth right and squanders it. The fool throws it away, ignorant of its value. The wise cherish and nurture it. The strong share it out of respect and loyalty. Submission is not a gift to be taken lightly: Beware the slave who gives it and the Dom(me) who takes it too easily. But to those that know and understand what submission really means, the depths of Hell and the peaks of Heaven can be explored without limitation.

So it looks like the search for a submissive may be back under way... Seriously girls: if you can't string words together in a coherent sentence, move on for someone who only wants your body. I've got girls for that already.

I am no longer looking for a sub, having two very promising candidates. You may still contact me if you would like but I will be checking the site less frequently for a while.

If it can't be cured, it must be killed. An act of beneficial violence, an act of war against the body and mind so that the self can flourish uninhibited by the chronic leeching of the soul. There is always a risk that the operation will go wrong, but when it goes well, it makes all the difference. There is no room for doubt or hesitation- kill the parasite before it kills the host and turns all else into a putrified mess of carnage and disease.

An excellent article: I strongly encourage everyone to read it... I can't voice an opinion on the rest of the site. http://www.submissiveloving.com/healthysub.html

If there is enough interest, I may begin doing audio or video journals. But for now, you will have to settle for just my words.

Destruction is the first step of creation- before something new can be made what was there originally must be breaken apart, recombined and otherwise altered to a point where what was barely remains. It can be a frightening process, but under practiced hands an artist can turn even the coarsest stone into a work of art.

What I like: Part 1 (of a bunch... if I don't get bored and or distracted by something more interesting). A handful of people have asked me recently, since my profile does not specify, what I look for physically in a sub. The simple answer is specific details are irrelevant: It really is the whole package which is critical to me (and seriously... I mean it. Aesthetics alone are meaningless and I'll take an average or even plain girl who meets my other more important criteria over an attractive one who doesn't every single time. Weird, I know.) That said, I'm not blind and do have particular tastes. So, since "you" asked, I have time, and let's face it, so do you or you wouldn't be reading this, so here you go. If there was 1 woman who epitomized my tastes it would be Dita Von Teese- she's almost ideal mentally and physically and corsettes...mmm.. But, I'm not exactly holding my breath for her to come knocking at my door (and she's not a submissive so, you know... kinks to work out). Or you could consider my first childhood crush, Carolyn Jones as Morticia from the original Addams Family. Sure she was dead by the time I was born, and the show had been off the air for like 20 years. But dammit, she was lovely. My tastes haven't changed too much. Sort of a contemporary revisioning of classic beauty. Look feminine (sorry tomboys, but we can still be friends). Gothic is a great as long as your makeup doesn't consistently look like you were mugged by a viscious street gang of "spooky vampire pixies" carrying eyeliner and glitter. Keep it simple and elegant. Ornate rarely looks like you think it does and what was supposed to be dark and mysterious just turned into a macabre bozo the clown. Sorry. More generally: Height- 5' to 6'. I'm ok with taller girls though if you're my height or taller it probably won't work. Likewise to girls below 5'. I've got nothing against shorter girls, but there's physics to consider. Weight- REALLY hard to pin down precisely because so much depends on how the specific girl carries it but as a rough marker, 130 or lower. I'm not a scrawny guy but again: Physics. Hair- Dark. Brunettes of all shades are lovely, black is better. Though, I have been sort of developing a thing for certain shades of red head... And longer hair: Chin length at least and not down to your butt. I can't go for the boyish hair cuts and at a certain point, the length just gets in the way. Probably shoulder length. But wear it up. Eyes- Again, probably dark, but I care less about this one. Build- Slenderish, but I don't like twigs either, so have some curve to your figure. Fit is good. I love the "hourglass". Breasts- I used to be more of a big-breast guy, and while they can be fun, smaller is by no means a bad thing. I actually grew to be quite fond of a low-mid B with my last sub, but it does make some bondage (and a couple other things) a bit more difficult. Butt- Butt shaped. I'm not really a butt guy but if your backside looks like a wall... eh, not so good. Skin(?)- Ok, the one thing I care about here is a natural skin tone but I am preferential to pale (shock, I know). I don't like tan. Which doesn't mean I dont like darker girls but whoever it was that put it in you girls' heads that you needed look about 6 shades darker than your normal skin tone (or shower in bronzer) should be shot. Seriously. Skin- Bad skin happens and life happens to skin but if you manage it as best you can and generally don't look scarred/pock marked/red/flakey we're good. Teeth- A girl must have nice teeth. Not perfect teeth but well cared for. Glasses- Don't matter... I would hope that you can see well enough to not go blind without them. Personally, I prefer contacts (yes, I know, I don't wear them. My eyes just can't handle the damned things, I've tried) but glasses are ok. Clothing style- I don't care a whole lot as long as you are able to dress up on occassion. What you wear day to day should look neat and hopefully have a little personality to it but that's all that matters. Personal grooming- I prefer hair to stay on the head and not elsewhere. End of story (ok, not quite but those seeking more specifics can ask). Eyebrows- Oddly enough, this one really does matter. Don't draw them on. It just looks dumb. I prefer thin, slightly (that's SLIGHTLY) arched ending just outside or even with the socket of the eyeand right at the nose. Seriously... as petty as it sounds, this one can easily screw up an otherwise gorgeous face (Jennifer Connelley comes to mind). Piercings- I'm for them but not if you look like a pin cushion. And I don't like most nose piercings or the angel-kisses/dimples. It just doesn't work for most girls. Ears, eyebrows, lips, tongue and elsewhere is fine. If you don't have any and want some, I can take you. Tattoos- Again, I'm for them as long as they meet a couple criteria: 1) You don't look like a collage or refridgerator door 2) They have meaning to you. Most people have that 1 they got "just because" but otherwise, ink just to have ink is dumb. I think that pretty much covers it. Any further questions can be addressed to me directly and I will reply when I can.

I am disheartened by the caliber, quantity and selection of submissives in Colorado. Relocation is a bitch but might be for the best.

Never open with a joke: Get at least 5 words in first.

Ha, another one today! Aren't you lucky? Ok, so its been slow around here. Oh well. So I've been looking through hundreds of profiles the last few days (and even bothered some of you, you lucky people) and have realized -remembered might be a bit more correct- a few really obnoxious trends with screen names that I just wish would stop. You may disagree. I don't care. 1) Meaningless numbers in screen names- There are NO good reasons to put numbers in your screen name. Ever. If you pick the name "butterflygirl73" that means that either 72 other people are just as boring as you or worse, you KNOW its a trite name and want to make sure nobody else has it, so pick something reasonably high to avoid having the name rejected. You know how embarassed you get when another girl is wearing the same outfit as you at a party? Yeah... they just did that 73 times. Or, let's go out on a limb and say that you were born in '73 and thought it be a cute way to advertise that. Well, didn't you just fill out a bio? So its already a bit redundant. And since I just ran into butterflygirl13 and going to bet she's not 100, I'm not likely to make the leap to thinking THIS time the number actually means something. 2) "Meaningful" numbers in your name- You know the ones... "2" instead of "to" (or two) "4" (for)... blah blah blah. Look, its a screen name. We don't need your life's mission statement. Which goes doubly for "69". Really? We're STILL making that joke? Sure its fun to do, but ESPECIALLY in the BDSM scene, its just played... subtlety and innuendo just make no damned sense. Likewise, 666 no longer makes you evil, 777 no lunger makes you lucky and 123 means you mastered kindergarten. Awesome. 3)Slut/bitch/whore/cunt/pig/sir/mistress/madam.... No. In the case of submissives, what fun is it for me to call you that if you're already doing it? The reason those labels have appeal is because they are supposed to be degrading but if you use it every day it loses its impact. Which means I have to go pull out my archaic book of insults and curses to have something interesting to call you, which you won't get and then... yeah. Its a mess. And for the Dom(mes): Look, I get it. Many of you are sooooo desperate for attention and "respect" that you're going to flaunt your title at every opportunity. And some of you might be ok people with poor imaginations. You want to be called Sir/Ma'am/Lord God Almighty (my personal favorite), introduce yourself and then EARN the title. Trust me. Its worth it. 4)"Insert generic sex reference here"- Again, really? Its nice to meet you "takesitupthebutt88" but I honestly couldn't be bothered to care. And I like anal. Still- Just can't be buggered. Now, in a way, I get what people are trying to do with these names: Its a meat market- I want a little "takesitupthebutt88" with some "whipmytits2001" and a double helping of "takesitsideways14". But its BORING. Seriously. The name is just a crutch. Lose it and move on to more spectacular things. Give me a name I can call you when we first meet (fine- if you insist on going by "slut", whatever but you're not impressing anybody but the 15 year old kid in the chat room looking to fill his spank bank), Something unique is good (having to deal with Becky01-Becky186595224 gets a little messy in my little black book), and if you want to get fanciful with it, fine. But I'd better be able to cut the length down and people still know who I'm talking to. And if you want to define yourself by your relationship to your Dom/me also fine, as long as it fits the above guidelines. I'm sure there's more, but I'm out of steam at present. Stay tuned.

Came across one of the most awesome profiles I've ever seen... Won't say who, though she can probably handle herself if I did. If every sub were like here I'd bet good money that 99% of the Doms running around would have to pack it in and go back to kicking puppies for a living.

How about something a little lighter? I would personally burn every tree to the ground to ensure that the temperature never dropped below 65. I might suffocate 5 minutes later, but I'd die and still be able to feel my toes dammit.

I find it is generally a bad idea to make sadism with discipline. I know- this sounds like a strange thing. If the Dom (or Domme) enjoys the act of discipline, there is an inherent sadism to it and conversely, if you're a sadist you will be more likely to discipline... the two seem inseperable. But only superficially. Sadism is to derive pleasure from an act of violence and/or aggression on one's partner. It is almost entirely sexual in nature even if the violence itself isn't sexual. There is nothing wrong with this, and a good s & m pair can enjoy it. But discipline must be towards entirely different ends. It must be performed in a way that the submissive does NOT want it to occur again so the behavior which earned the disciplinary measure is not repeated. If a sub wants to be beaten/cut/burned/humiliated/what-have-you, these will never be useful as a form of discipline: They will continue to step out of line for the sole purpose of absorbing the severity they know (or at least hope) is coming. Likewise, if a Dom rationalizes their sadistic urges under the guise of discipline, they will tend to act disproportionately and constantly be on the lookout for a chance to act violently, nit picking the sub into uselessness. This does neither sub, nor Dom any good. If you are a sadistic, by all means, ENJOY it, but don't pretend its for the sub's benefit. If you are a masochistic sub, enjoy that too, but your Dom had better know how to handle it or things could (and have) end very badly. Passionate violence can go very wrong very quickly and a safe word won't stop it. The truly sadistic Dom knows that when hi/r masochistic submissive cries out to be beaten to say "No". Discipline, in short, is meant to be unpleasant to the one receiving it- not just the continuation of an s & m cycle.

Updated profile- Hopefully people will stop wasting my time (a little) now.

And am I REALLY the only one that remembers when a collar actually meant something? It seems that they've become little better than party favors at this point: Everybody gets one for nothing no more consequential than having "sub" or "slut" in their name. Doms (I can only speak for the males, having only minimal direct interaction with Dommes) seem so intent on "marking their territory" D/s turns into little more than pissing contests- That one's mine, that one's mine, that one's mine. And it seems that subs have gone along with it.. So desperate to be owned and accepted that they just do whatever they think will get them attention. Some of the one's I've met lately seem to have more collars than those girls wearing neck rings in Africa... and for a much worse reason.

I find myself getting increasingly annoyed at the quality of Doms running around and how I seem to get lumped in as "just another" one. I realize I've got the numbers working against me and genuinely feel sorry for the subs and switches that have ended up getting burned... so to speak. I don't think most subs would even know what to do if a Dom approached them with a sense of decorum rather than invading their in-box with silly posturing and demands. I'm not that old but apparently more old fashioned that way then I expected.

DarkDomTx Male Dominant, 52, Amarillo, Texas	Darkbloodmaste Male Dominant, 27	darkknight40 Male Dominant, 45, lawsonville, North Carolina	DarkeWhisper Male Dominant, 52, Chicago, Illinois
DarkMasterMx Male Dominant, 29, Mexico City	DarkMasterMexi Male Dominant, 29, Mexico City	Darkestofheart Male Dominant, 54	darknruff1 Male Dominant, 33, Los Angeles, California
Darkcipher Dominant Couple, 40, Montclair, New Jersey	darkhoney Female Submissive, 47	Darla Transgender Switch, 31, Boise, Idaho	Darklorde Male Dominant, 60, Goshen, Indiana

Darrian

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